A giggle here, a smirk there, and they'll forgive you for having a great sense of humor about life and the things that happen to you. However, if you can't hold back laughter after everything is said, you demonstrate not so much that you have a sense of humor, but rather a sense of inferiority, discomfort, and a misunderstanding of social dynamics. Laughing constantly after each comment can be perceived as annoying and offensive, and can also lead others to isolate you because you can't show that you take things seriously. It's time to strengthen your perception of what's really fun and to fuel your self-esteem.
Steps
Step 1. Start noticing all the times you laugh at someone's comments, especially not funny ones
Try to understand what makes you laugh at these inopportune moments. Consider how you feel when this happens, if you feel nervous, irritated, bored, argumentative, if you don't share ideas, if you feel discomfort or confusion. Identify any negative feelings that lead you to laugh to defend yourself or to not show your true feelings. These feelings need to be addressed along with the habit of laughing (or compensating for nervousness).
Keep a journal of what caused you to laugh this week. Was there a recurring reason? Have you noticed any triggers in particular?
Step 2. Consider how others view your constant laugh, especially the fact that it comes right after each of their comments
As we said in the introduction, laughing continuously after each intervention of others can provoke various reactions, but above all it can lead others not to take you seriously. In a professional or business context, this can be very dangerous, because it precludes you from obtaining promotions, benefits, and maybe even increases. On the other hand, during a date or a love encounter, no one likes to be laughed at all the time; the other person will understand that you are not taking the relationship seriously and will leave you. And all these misunderstandings will only happen because you are unable to hold back a chuckle after each comment! Ask yourself if it is really appropriate to be perceived by others as a person who takes everything lightly.
A good method is to think about what the people present are imagining every time you laugh when they talk. If you think it's okay, go ahead and enjoy. If you think they are perceiving you as a strange and out of place person, try to control yourself
Step 3. Distinguish the nervous and annoying laugh from the good and genuine one
This article is not meant to suppress humor and laughter in general. There are times when a good, liberating laugh is necessary and appropriate. But it is important to distinguish between a habitual chuckle and a real, genuine one, born from a joke or a moment of happiness. You should feel the difference: a laugh that comes from an obviously funny situation leaves you with a feeling of lightness and happiness. The other type of laughter is a compensatory mechanism that covers your discomfort. If you are still unsure, ask yourself:
- Does this laugh make me feel good or am I using it to cover up my negative feelings? Is anything about this situation making me feel uncomfortable or pressured?
- Is my laughter contagious or are others looking at me with embarrassment and waiting for it to stop?
Step 4. Become more assertive
Continued laughter after each comment made by someone can be a sign of a certain sense of inferiority that leads you to hide your opinions and preferences. Laughing, you express the need to appear harmless and agree to what you are saying, so that the other person does not see you as an opponent. However, this doesn't lead you to create a positive interaction with others, and it only makes you worse in their eyes. On the contrary, learn to express your opinions, to be assertive, which is not an attitude of defiance, but of fruitful interaction with others. Learning to be assertive means proposing yourself in a decisive but also positive and polite way: you will then feel like others, and your sense of inferiority will disappear. And, with it, also the need to laugh in an embarrassing way.
Think of sharp or thoughtful responses to replace laughter after each comment. This may take some effort, but it will be worth it. Think of some witty answers people make when they want to say what they think, but in an intelligent and polite way. Learning to do this helps you avoid covering your thoughts with laughter and putting your say in a meaningful way. If wit isn't your thing, try to give honest answers anyway, but use enough tact not to hurt the feelings of those in front of you
Step 5. Find constructive ways to address this until you have solved the problem
It takes time to change a habit, and determination, but what to do when you notice that others are watching your laugh? As you work on avoiding inappropriate laughter, also find a way to cover up your laughter when it happens. For example, when you feel you are about to laugh, turn around and cover your mouth with your hand. Pretend it's a little hiccup, a sneeze, or a lump in your throat if someone asks you to. Other ideas can be:
- Breathe deeply before making any noise. You can control laughter by breathing deeply. It really works. Practice with friends.
- Just smile or nod your head.
- Dig your fingers into the palm of your hand to remind yourself that laughing is a vice to be overcome, not to be forgiven.
- Think of something serious that works with you. Think of something you have to finish, the pooch of the dog that you still have to clean out of the garden, or the time your boss threw your work in your face. These thoughts should stop the laughter.
Step 6. Think of something genuine to vent your laughter
It is important not to go from one extreme to the other and get too serious! Find opportune and appropriate moments to laugh, hang out with positive and funny people. Tell a joke, or a funny story, or watch comedy shows with friends. Be prepared to always look at the light side of life, but learn to laugh inside yourself when you realize this is not the time to do it in public. You have to be a ray of sunshine for the people around you, remaining a source of fun, but avoiding hiding behind nervous laughter. There is a lot of difference between a funny person who always has a joke ready and a sad person, with an inferiority complex and who laughs for no reason. Learn to use your real sense of humor to warm the hearts and minds of others and to make them laugh. It's the best way to hold your laugh and share it!
Advice
- Make sure you laugh at the jokes and not at the serious stuff.
- When you feel like laughing, make sure no one else is doing it - so focus and breathe. After a few times, you will see that it will be automatic for you not to laugh at inappropriate moments.
- If you laugh a lot, you are not in danger. It just means you need some hints, as we said earlier. But make sure you don't get discouraged as you learn not to laugh out loud. For example, don't say, "I laugh too much, I'm an annoying person!" That's not true, and if you keep saying it, eventually people will convince themselves you're right and put that label on you. It's best not to say anything, or, if you feel you need to say something, apologize, saying, for example, "Excuse me, this was really inappropriate."
- You must know that laughter eases tensions. As a result, people tend to actually laugh in the most bizarre situations, such as funerals. This is a way to relieve tension, and the laughter and tears are so close that they sometimes mix with each other. Do not be discouraged in these cases: you are not alone, and in the case you can resolve by walking away with discretion. Breathe, let the nervousness-healing laugh pass, and return to your seat when you've calmed down.
- Laughing is good for the spirit. Just make sure it's genuine laughter and not nervousness.
- If you are afraid of laughing during a meeting with someone, try to "let out the laughter" before the meeting. Think of something funny and laugh until you can't stand it anymore. This should exhaust all your desire to laugh, and it will keep you from doing it during the meeting.
Warnings
- Laughing after every little comment will make people think that you are an empty head. Is this really what you want?
- Don't confuse laughing with being serious and boring. Laughing is important. You just need to keep your laughter in check instead of using it all the time as a support.
