If you ask more people what it means to "be a dark guy", you will get a different answer from each of them. For some, it may mean living their life without calling attention to themselves, while for others it may simply mean having unpredictable personal tastes in the arts, music and so on. By following a few simple steps, taking a plunge into enigmaticity shouldn't be difficult for you, no matter what the word "dark" means to you. Keep reading the article from Step 1 to get out of the spotlight!
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Getting confused in the crowd
Step 1. Adapt your behavior to that of others
Perhaps the best and only way to avoid drawing attention to yourself is to do what everyone around you is doing. There is safety in numbers - if your behavior is indistinguishable from that of the people around you, it is unlikely that you will be the object of special attention, especially if you are in a large group of people. If you're trying to blend in with the crowd, start looking into it. Ask yourself: What are the people around me doing right now? Are they talking to each other? If so, with what confidence? How do they seem to behave? The answers to these questions should help you match your behavior to that of the people around you.
Obviously, the advice for this step depends a lot on the context. Even if sitting quietly reading in the corner of a waiting room full of people becomes practically invisible, this attitude risks having the opposite effect during a wild party; so, if you try to go unnoticed, pay attention to your surroundings
Step 2. Try to get a completely ordinary look
Even if you manage to blend in with the people around you, you can still be easily noticed if you look like someone who is out of context. Some details, like tattoos, are personal choices that last a long time, so there isn't much you can do to hide them. However, the clothes you wear and (to a lesser extent) the way you comb your hair are in your control, so if you're trying to go unnoticed, keep it simple and ordinary.
-
Here is an example of a "casual", and above all unisex, look that shouldn't attract attention in informal contexts:
-
-
- Jeans
- T-shirt
- Hoodie
- Trainers / sneakers
- Neat haircut (for men), straight hair or tied up in a bun (for women)
- Light makeup, minimal jewelry (for women)
-
-
- Note that ideas for a wide range of modest and inexpensive outfits can be found online at fashion blogs or simply via a search engine search.
Step 3. Keep your views confidential
A surefire way to get noticed is to talk when you don't need to; therefore, if you try to blend in with people, it is wise to remain silent when your opinion is not required. If you need to interact with others, respond in a polite and friendly way, but short and to the point. The more you dwell on any subject, especially personal ones, the less you will protect your anonymity.
Again, this advice totally depends on the context. While being completely silent can help you in a busy environment like the bus, this will likely call attention to you unnecessarily if you do this when you are required to answer in class. "Keeping your opinions confidential" also means knowing when silence attracts more attention than a normal response
Step 4. Don't look people in the eye
Eye contact is a powerful social tool - it's a way to make an instant connection with someone else without exchanging any words, although some research in recent years has shown that, to make people like you or get them to agree with you., it's not that useful. In any case, if you are interested in remaining completely anonymous, it is advisable to avoid eye contact with other people except in situations that require it. It means that when you are walking on the street or behind the wheel, you should avoid meeting people's eyes and that, when you are in a situation where someone could talk to you, it would be advisable to avoid eye contact until a conversation has started.
Some people who are naturally shy or clumsy around people may find it difficult to maintain eye contact when around others. Since this type of behavior can get as much attention as excessive eye contact, it's a good idea to practice with a willing friend or even the TV or mirror if that's okay with you. Thankfully, medical research suggests that the practice can be effective in becoming familiar with and improving this type of skill
Step 5. Don't try to approach other people
You don't need to force yourself to do this - if you're going to completely blend in with people, don't get close to others, trying to strike up a conversation. If you find yourself in a situation where someone comes to you to talk to you, obviously respond with courtesy and sincerity, but don't engage in conversation with strangers unless necessary. Instead, try to stay on the sidelines talking to a friend or on your own depending on the circumstances.
Step 6. Do your thing alone or without getting noticed
As indicated in the previous advice, you will go more unnoticed in the eyes of strangers if you do not come into contact with them, so try to spend most of your free time doing things that do not require the presence of other people (or only that of a few close friends). There are hundreds of interesting and fun things to do for which you don't need anyone else to hang out with and grow as a person, while keeping a low profile. Here are some ideas for pursuing fun hobbies in solitude:
- Learn to play an instrument or compose music
- Light
- Exercise (e.g. running, swimming, cycling, weight lifting, etc.)
- Studying to acquire new skills
- Exploring some nature reserves / geocaching (always tell someone where you are going before venturing to some isolated place alone)
- Writing (e.g. short stories, blogging, writing for user-supported websites, etc.)
Step 7. Don't break the mold
This is the first commandment for those who want to go unnoticed and for people who don't want any unnecessary attention. Avoid publicly opposing the group you hang out with. Don't act differently from those around you. Do not dress, behave or speak in a way that is considered "abnormal". Don't question the company or your role within it. If you harbor any kind of disagreement that goes against the status quo, keep it to yourself to avoid drawing unwanted attention to yourself!
If it's not clear, a life of complete anonymity can seriously diminish your opportunities to express yourself. Try to scale things down - the attention you get if you go against the status quo can be creepy, but it's better than constantly worrying about the consequences
Method 2 of 3: Being Hard to Define
Step 1. Be mysterious
If you are trying to be a difficult person to define, there is nothing more useful than having a mysterious personality. Try to be a person of few words, but when you speak, make sure that your words have a certain weight. Try to keep a fairly unemotional personality, even when you're joking. Talk about things in outline, leaving details vague. Leave your motivations to the imagination of others. With luck (and a little practice), you will feed perplexity in people, but also curiosity.
- For example, let's compare a mysterious conversation with a normal one. Let's say a nice person comes up to you and asks, "Hey, didn't I see you in the bookstore around here?" A common answer would be: "Yes! I go there every weekend. There is a great choice of books there. What's your name?". This is a perfectly nice and friendly answer, but we could be more mysterious if we said something like: "Mmm… Dostoevsky is brilliant, isn't he?". This answer is a little less ordinary and gives your interlocutor a chance to ask a few more questions.
- There are billions of resources online to get mysterious. Often, these are guides written for a male audience, but there are numerous resources for women as well.
Step 2. Be unpredictable
If no one is so sure as to predict what you are going to do, they will not be able to define you precisely. Put people off by always doing whatever comes to your mind. Are you on a date? Pop into some place you've never been to. Are you stuck at an airport terminal? Take out your guitar and start singing a song involving the people around you. By following some unleashed impulse, you can make yourself completely indecipherable in the eyes of other people.
However, the risk is around the corner. The place you visit to satisfy a whim might be a little disgusting, while people you try to engage with a song might turn away, careless. As we will see later, by keeping a cool head and being indifferent to the opinions and expectations that others have about you, you have the ability to handle some fortuitous failure
Step 3. Don't worry about other people's opinions
When people start worrying about what others think, they become predictable, and when people become predictable, they are no longer mysterious. Maintaining a high opinion of yourself (even when you are not a person with not purely refined tastes) is essential to become a sort of mysterious and difficult character who can be very attractive. Don't try to get everyone's approval, just yours.
Learning not to care what others think of you is one of the most common themes when it comes to looking for some online resource to improve your personality. Many sites offer mild and introspective advice (like this one, for example), while others take a more hands-on approach. Go to your favorite search engine and choose the resource that suits your needs and personality
Step 4. Cultivate various interests
Having a wide range of hobbies and interests isn't just a way to keep your life varied and interesting, it's also a way to get people to speculate about you. By keeping your interests varied, you will make sure that people always have something to ask you and this can help you look unusual and exciting. Try to cultivate many different passions in your free time. For example, on a weekend on a Friday night you can play pickup basketball in the park, while on Saturdays you can study Old English literature. Finally, on Sundays you can dedicate yourself to writing on your blog.
Note, however, that doing something different every time you have some free time means that developing skills that require constant and ongoing practice (such as playing an instrument, for example) can be difficult. Therefore, it's best to spend some time on stable passions consistently, while keeping the rest of your interests varied
Step 5. Be confidential about personal information
If you're trying to become a tough guy to define, never give too much away about yourself. Think Bond (James Bond) - when they ask him for something personal, he always lets them know only what is needed, but no more. Be careful not to voluntarily offer too much information about yourself at any one time as it can be absolutely irresistible for others to talk to you. If you tease them with short, mischievous answers about you, they will naturally want to know more and, before they know it, they will be enthralled by your every word.
Step 6. Stay calm
Staying calm is an essential skill when it comes to becoming a difficult person to define. Being mysterious, unpredictable, and measured usually goes hand in hand with pleasantly calm and composed behavior, but not if you lose your temper. If, for example, you are nervous and frustrated or dismissive and aloof when others ask you a question, you risk being labeled as a difficult person to get to know, and you will certainly not be the quiet, desirable and difficult to define type that you could have been if you are. you had made your moves correctly. So, try to stay relaxed and lucid whenever in the crowd - if you do, you will eventually become the soul (dark, silent and dark) of the party. Here are some useful techniques for relaxing among people:
- Personal meditation
- Get plenty of sleep
- Do breathing techniques to relax
- Try to "unwind" after tiring activities
- Exercise
- Spending time alone (e.g. reading, watching a movie, surfing the Internet, etc.)
Method 3 of 3: Having Dark Tastes
Step 1. Listen to dark music
The hallmark of a really cool alternative type with dark but refined tastes is the music he listens to. Organizing a playlist with little-known bands, niche music genres, and versions of rare songs is a prerequisite if you're trying to earn a reputation as someone who has a certain penchant for the dark. Try listening to bands and artists that those around you don't know - the smaller and less famous, the better.
- You don't need to download unlistenable stuff to enjoy "dark" music. If you are looking to transition from traditional music to more sophisticated artists, start reading the latest reviews online at sites connected to "hipsterdom", such as Pitchfork.com, Avclub.com and independent music blogs, so that you are always up to date on the subject of good music.
- If you want to earn a few more points, try to get the albums of your favorite dark bands and artists on vinyl.
Step 2. Watch dark movies
Another way to show that you have a taste for the dark is to develop a love for little-known cinematic jewelry. For example, inviting you to watch your favorite director's latest independent production or introducing your friends to underestimated cult cults can earn you a reputation as a connoisseur of the dark genre. This interest also gives you something to talk about with others, since almost everyone loves movies (think in these terms: "Hey, do you like Tarantino? Then you'll definitely like Sergio Corbucci's The Great Silence)."
- Unfortunately, indie and arthouse films don't usually have large advertising budgets, so if you're not careful, they can get out of programming before you know about it. Try signing up for arthouse cinema newsletters in your area or browse online movie review sites, with a focus on independent ones (like, for example, Thedissolve.com) to keep up with the latest dark cinema news.
- You can also try going to film festivals. Small independent films are often screened at festivals before being destined for large-scale distribution. In addition, some films by particularly unknown directors are only found on the festival circuit, which means that sometimes these events are the only place to get to know and see certain films. Try searching a list of online film festivals (like this one) to find one near you.
Step 3. Read dark literature books
Books rarely offer instant gratification as much as music or movies, but for many, they have an irreplaceable "flavor". Reading books that few have heard of can give you the charisma of a refined and cultured person, which you cannot get by following only dark books and music. If you don't read for the fun of it (and, today, many people don't), try to finish reading a few obscure books a year. You will be able to take a new rewarding habit and impress people with your eclectic tastes.
To find out about dark books, try browsing some literary discussion sites (like, for example, Goodreads.com). On this type of site, you will usually find reviews, recommendations and, often, a "New Releases" section (or equivalent) that can direct you to the most recent and extraordinary reads
Step 4. Eat dark food
Preparing food is an art form that almost everyone participates in in one way or another. By appreciating food out of the ordinary and ultimately learning how to prepare it, you will not only impress others for your "dark" tastes, but you will also develop a skill that will make your dishes much more fun and able to cheer others up.. If you're not sure where to start, try searching for recipes from your favorite ethnic cuisine categories online (for example, Japanese, Ethiopian, Middle Eastern, etc.). In the end, try to move on to categories of dishes that you are not familiar with. Be bold! The only way to learn is to practice.
There is no need to drain the bill to cook tasty dishes. Try searching for some convenient recipes on cooking sites, so you have ideas for making delicious and nutritious dishes to add to any diet, but at a fraction of the cost of more elaborate dishes
Step 5. Dress darkly
There is no denying it: in general, people are superficial. Before someone gets a chance to talk to you, they will likely judge you based on your appearance (although this judgment will be irrelevant or eventually eliminated after they get to know you). To convey the fact that you have dark tastes to everyone you meet, try dressing in an unconventional style. For example, you might decide to go for a vintage look, wear clothes that were once the spearhead of fashion, but now have a little retro air. Alternatively, it's best to go for an avant-garde look, combining patterns and styles in ways never seen before. Be creative - your style is uniquely yours, so make it yours and be happy to go against the traditional tastes of ordinary people.
As mentioned, you don't need to spend a lot of money to get style. If you're looking to modernize your wardrobe in an affordable way, try shopping at thrift stores. These stores often find old and out-of-fashion clothing, which can be purchased for a fraction of the price of new items (although you may have to dig a little to find something to wear)
Step 6. Surround yourself with dark friendships
To some extent, everyone is influenced by who they hang out with. Others can communicate our opinions, give us new perspectives, and introduce us to people and things that we otherwise would not have had the opportunity to know. Likewise, people are often judged by the group they hang out with. If you are a person who is very worried about being judged for their own dark tastes, try to hang out with uncommon types of people. People who see you surrounded by "dark" friendships will mentally associate you with them, allowing you to project the image of belonging to a delightfully whimsical group of people.
The places where you are very likely to meet people with dark tastes are the same places where you can find dark music, movies, books and so on. In other words, try to go to concerts for up-and-coming independent artists, local film festivals, independent bookstores, ethnic eateries and similar venues targeting the "dark" genre
Advice
- Don't worry about being rude or polite. A dark personality is none of these things.
- If someone asks you about the music you listen to or your interests, don't start listing your favorite music, just say it's boring and ordinary.
