Like all bad habits, swearing is easy to catch but much harder to lose. However, it is possible to change your way of speaking by starting to admit that you have a problem and making an effort to correct yourself. This article gives you some useful tricks to "clean up" your language without washing your mouth with soap!
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Work out
Step 1. Ask a friend for help
Sharing a difficult experience or a goal with a friend will make it more tolerable and perhaps fun. Involving a friend in your attempt to stop swearing can work in one of two ways:
- You can reach out to a friend who has the same problem and work together to solve it, or you can ask another friend who doesn't swear to check the way you express yourself and get noticed every time you have a "relapse".
- Either way, having someone you can count on who will control your language will help you strain and get rid of this bad habit.
Step 2. Find out what causes and avoid them
Everyone has their own "triggers" that lead them to want to swear. For some it is traffic, for others the queue at the supermarket checkout and for others it is Brooke’s yet another wedding in "Beautiful". If you can identify what your triggers are, you can avoid them, for example by leaving work 30 minutes later to avoid rushing traffic, shopping online, or watching reruns of "Friends".
Try not to find yourself in situations that cause negative emotions, this way you will be able to better control the words that come out of your mouth
Step 3. Use the jar of profanity
This is a proven method that has helped many people to stop swearing. Usually you take a big jar or a piggy bank (or a box you can't break easily) and put a euro every time you say a bad word (you can choose any other amount of money). You can see the jar in two ways: a punishment or a final reward.
- It is a punishment because you have to say goodbye to one euro every time you let go of your tongue. But it is also a reward because when the jar is full (or better still when you will no longer swear) you can spend the accumulated money as you wish: you can give yourself a gift or give the money to charity.
- Keep the jar in the office if you've involved a lot of people in this recovery program. Everyone is mutually responsible for each other, so that no one avoids paying their "fine". When the jar is full you can celebrate by buying a new coffee machine for the whole office.
Step 4. Put a rubber band around your wrist
This is the human equivalent of a dog's electric collar, unpleasant but effective. Basically you just have to wear the elastic and pull it to give yourself a shot every time you swear.
- The basic idea is to force the brain to associate the swear word with a painful sensation and, over time, lose the habit of pronouncing it.
- If you follow this method seriously, you can give a friend (preferably one a little inclined to malice) permission to pull the elastic for you. Just remember that you agree with this practice.
Step 5. Pretend your grandmother is always there to listen to you
Another way to get used to biting your tongue when you feel you are about to swear is to imagine that there is always someone listening to you. Constantly. It could be your grandmother, your boss, your small and innocent children, or just someone you would be ashamed of.
When you say a bad word, imagine this person next to you shocked by your behavior and with an expression of disapproval. It should be a good deterrent
Step 6. Avoid songs with explicit language and all media where foul language is at home
Many people swear out of habit, especially those teenagers who are influenced by the content of their favorite songs, movies or TV shows. If you feel that this is your case and that you express yourself just like your favorite rapper, then you need something that reminds you that is not the way people, in the real world, speak. Change radio station and tune in to a less vulgar one or, at the very least, download the "politically correct" version of your favorite songs.
Method 2 of 3: Change Attitude
Step 1. Convince yourself that bad language is a bad thing
He swears on many occasions, because you are angry or frustrated, when you want to emphasize a concept or when you try to be funny. However, it is an unpleasant habit for many other reasons: it gives the impression of stupidity and lack of education, even if it is not true. It can be intimidating and seen as an act of bullying if addressed to another person. It could prove very offensive and off-putting to those who listen, and it could even limit your career or ruin potential romantic dates.
- Maybe you developed this language as a child because your parents were used to swearing. Or you started as a teenager to look "cool" in the eyes of your friends.
- Whatever the reason, looking back and blaming others leads nowhere. The most important thing you need to do is recognize that you have a problem and commit to solving it.
Step 2. Think positive
It is a fundamental step to stop being scurrilous. This is because people tend to swear more when they complain about something, are in a bad mood, or just because they are feeling negative. Positive thinking removes the need to swear. Admittedly, learning to think positively is really difficult; if you find yourself entangled in negative thoughts and emotions, stop, take a deep breath and ask yourself: "Is this really important?"
- For example, ask yourself: "Is it really important if I arrive a couple of minutes late for the meeting?" or "is it really that important that I can't find the remote and have to get up to change the channel?" Try to put each situation into perspective to calm down and stave off negative emotions.
- You also need to think positively about your abilities to stop being mean. If you have a negative approach or have doubts about the success of your project, you set yourself up for failure. Remember that if there are people who quit smoking or lose tens of pounds, then you too can stop swearing!
Step 3. Be patient with yourself
Bad language is a habit that you have established over the years and that has become an integral part of your way of expressing yourself. Like any other vice, you cannot get rid of it overnight. There will be good and less good days along the way, but it is important to keep the commitment. Always remember why you do this and visualize how much better you will feel when, in the end, you are free.
- Really think about the reason that causes you to stop being vulgar. It may be because you are afraid of making a bad impression in your new work environment, or because you don't want to be a bad example for your children. Use these thoughts as motivations to stay focused.
- Whatever happens, don't stop! Train your self-control and remind yourself that you can do anything you want, just want it!
Method 3 of 3: Change the Language Style
Step 1. Pay attention to your habits of swearing
A vulgar term here and there may be forgotten, but if you find that profanity takes up most of your conversation, and that you are unable to finish a concept without falling into foul language, then you have a problem. The first step to quitting is to become aware of when you say them. Are you only vulgar when you are with certain people or in specific situations? Try to understand why you swear and what role they play in your language style.
- Once you start paying attention to your habit, you will be shocked at how much you rely on bad language to express yourself. Don't be too baffled though, recognizing how often you swear is the first step to resolving the matter.
- At this point you will also begin to notice when other people indulge in foul terms, which is good, because you will realize how unpleasant it is and what a bad impression it offers.
Step 2. Replace bad words with harmless euphemisms
Once you understand what the most common swear words are, try to eliminate them from your informal conversations. This is a bad language for no reason, in fact you are not angry and you have not lost control, you are using these terms only to color the speech. You can correct the problem by replacing these words, perhaps with others that begin the same way or sound similar, but are not offensive.
- For example you can replace "ca ***" with "cabbage" or "put ****" with "petticoat". At first you will feel silly, but with time you will get used to it. By using gibberish, you can also reduce your need to express yourself negatively.
- Even if you get a bad word from time to time, have it immediately followed by its replacement. Over time the brain learns to associate the two terms and you will be able to automatically choose the harmless one.
Step 3. Enrich your vocabulary
Sometimes profanity is used because it "expresses the concept better." The problem with this excuse is that it is not true, because there are many terms in every language that can express the thought more comprehensively and succinctly than vulgarity can. If you expand your vocabulary you will be able to replace the most common swear words with non-vulgar alternatives, which will make you seem more intelligent, pleasant and peaceful than you were before.
- Make a list of your favorite bad words, then use a dictionary to find a variety of non-vulgar alternatives. For example, instead of saying "What a day of m ****" you can say "tiring", "difficult", "demanding", "exhausting", "problematic" etc …
- You can also enrich your dictionary by reading more books and newspapers. Take note of every word that tickles your fancy and make an effort to try and use it. Also, try to really listen to other people and make a mental note of the terms and phrases they use to express themselves without resorting to bad language.
Advice
- According to some research, it takes 21 days to break a bad habit. Use this information to set yourself a goal: no swearing for 21 days!
- Be an example for your children, if they hear you swearing they will think it is right and they will too.
- Release your anger and frustrations by exercising. This will save you from having to talk, and even more so from swearing, and will keep you in good shape while you take care of yourself and respect yourself.
- If you want to swear because something has upset you, count to ten and breathe very deeply. In the meantime, the urge to be vulgar will be gone.
- Don't think you have to stop swearing all at once (unless that's what you want); there are occasions in life when even the mildest person in the world would indulge in cursing for various reasons, such as pain, grief or something horrible. The idea is to stop using swear words as the main means of communicating your thoughts, behavior and language.
- If swearing has become such an ingrained habit that you don't even notice it, ask a friend to point it out, or install a word recognition program on your computer so that it notifies you (and maybe blocks or deletes the your favorite song) every time you do it.
Warnings
- Being abusive at work could result in your firing.
- Swearing in public places can have legal consequences or even lead you to jail in certain countries or cities.
- The use of vulgar words could result in your exclusion from any kind of website, from "social forums" to online games.
