While crying is very good, we don't always want others to know that we have been crying. We are afraid of being judged weak or we just don't want anyone asking us if something is wrong. Whatever the reason, there are some steps you can take to be presentable in public, and some issues you need to address in case you're having a hard time.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Recover your Natural Look
Step 1. Stop crying
You may have to wait a few minutes before quitting, but you will eventually make it. It is better to indulge in tears than to try to stop them: repressed emotions find expression in crying that allows the body to release tensions and heal itself.
- If you can't give yourself time to cry, say to yourself, "You need to stop crying and find calm within yourself" - repeat this phrase until you calm down.
- You can also get scared on purpose. It will give your emotions a quick turn and help stop you. A simple: "Oh!" it can work.
- Stop your emotions by giving yourself a pinch on the arm. It will give you enough distraction to stop your emotional reaction.
- Once you have stopped crying, distract your thoughts from the reason for crying. For example, if you've just received news of someone's death, focus on what you need to do during the day.
- Crying can be linked as much to some positive events as to sad or exasperating episodes. Allow yourself to cry until you're done.
Step 2. Wet your face
During crying there is a stimulation of the facial nerves which causes an increase in the temperature of the skin. Cool water on your face will lessen the heat. Let the water run over your hands and wrists and wet your face a few times. Dry off with a towel or whatever you have on hand.
Step 3. Blow your nose with a tissue, toilet paper, or paper towel
You will need to get rid of the mucus, but don't blow it too much or you will increase the redness of it. Once done, look in the mirror to make sure your nose is clean.
Step 4. Breathe
Take a few deep breaths to release any remaining emotions and fill your lungs. Crying can choke your breath, so breathing slowly can restore normal functioning. Your body will benefit from the extra oxygen supply.
Avoid rapid breathing which can lead to hyperventilation and lead to a panic attack
Step 5. Deal with the redness of the eyes, nose and face
When a person cries, there is a rush of blood to these areas. Once the crying is over, the skin slowly returns to its natural color.
- Make a cold compress and apply it to your eyes, nose and face. It will help speed up the calming process.
- If you are at work, or in any place where it is not possible to make a cold pack, wet some paper towels and wave them in the air to cool them. They will act as substitutes.
- Wave your face using a sheet of paper or any other object available that can blow your mind. This will cool your face and reduce redness.
Step 6. Remove your makeup and reapply your makeup
If you wear makeup, remove any smudges with a damp washcloth or towel. If you are at home, use makeup remover. Apply the concealer to cover the reddened areas and complete the operation with a touch of powder. Reapply the lipstick and you are ready.
Step 7. Use eye drops to lessen eye redness
If you don't have a bottle handy, you just have to wait for your eyes to fade or you can wear a pair of sunglasses to hide them.
Part 2 of 3: Recompose and Move Forward
Step 1. Check yourself in the mirror
To make sure you're presentable, look in the mirror. If your hair, face and clothes are all right, then you are ready to get back among the others.
Step 2. Reassure yourself by telling yourself that everything is fine
You may need some encouragement to feel able to deal with other people. Use positive phrases like: "Okay, it's over, you can manage to move on."
Step 3. Focus on something positive
The emotion that made you cry may re-emerge. If you feel this happening, hold on and replace the emotion with a positive thought. Pick a topic that isn't closely related to the reason for crying. The goal is to divert attention from the problem in question.
- Repeat mentally: "Think of something positive; for example how much you like going to the beach. Now concentrate on that thought."
- Think about a project you are working on. Make a mental list of its different stages of when you will complete them. Imagine your happiness when the project is completed. In this way you will be able to get out of the emotional darkness that surrounds you.
Step 4. Pretend to be happy until it passes
Even if you are not an actor, your body does not know: the power of suggestion can be very strong. As you move among the people, cheer up, smile and repeat to yourself: "You feel good and you are happy." Carry out your normal occupations loaded with positive thoughts.
Part 3 of 3: Coping with your emotions
Step 1. Show compassion for yourself
You had a reason to cry: If you're having a hard time, you need to give yourself a chance to feel the emotions that made you cry. You also need to determine if the frequency and duration of crying are excessive.
- Is it an isolated episode or an event that recurs more frequently?
- If you find that you have been crying uncontrollably for a long period of time, you need to reach out to someone who can help you.
- Be patient with yourself during this time. Forcing yourself to stop crying can be a difficult task to manage. Suppressing one's feelings can produce negative results.
Step 2. Explain your concerns
If your emotional upheaval is due to a relationship, work, or family conflict, you need to communicate your concerns. In order to resolve a conflict, you must find a way to make yourself heard.
- Take note of your concerns - it will help you focus on the problem.
- Then write down possible solutions to your problems.
- Practice listing your concerns out loud so that you are calm, prepared, and focused for the conversation.
- Tell the person in question what your concerns are. He begins by saying, "I have thought a lot about what happened and I would like to resolve the matter. Are you willing to listen to me?" It will be a good way to start a discussion on the subject.
Step 3. Seek help if you are having difficulties
Asking for help takes boldness and courage. If you are having difficulties in school, in the family, or in life in general, reach out to a trusted person for help. There are specialists available at school or privately, such as a therapist or doctor. Talking to someone about it will help you resolve any difficulties and develop an effective approach to handling any situation.
- If you can't stop crying and find yourself crying most of the day, you should see a therapist or doctor. If you have suffered a severe loss, prolonged crying is considered normal. A grief expert might be for you.
- Art therapy is another resource that can be extremely beneficial.
Advice
- Crying is a normal and healthy emotional expression.
- People cry for a variety of reasons, including happiness, sadness, anger, embarrassment, agitation, loneliness, exasperation, and fear. This is a completely natural response.
- Use a pair of sunglasses to hide red eyes.
- Always carry handkerchiefs with you to occasions such as weddings, funerals, graduations and awards ceremonies, which can trigger tears as an emotional response.
- A good cry will give you a sense of relief and subsequent calm.
- Some people cry a lot, while others very little: each of us is different from the others.
Warnings
- Sometimes society can spread the message that crying is inappropriate.
- Just because a person doesn't cry doesn't mean they don't have feelings.
- Refraining from crying in case your body needs it can be harmful.
