Normality changes over time and depending on the context. There is no set of principles that make you normal, but there are some ways to conform to your environment if you are having trouble with that. Focus on gaining self-confidence first, the rest will come by itself.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Trust Yourself
Step 1. Give due weight to the opinions of others
If you could care less about what people think of you, you would be happier and less stressed. As an added benefit, you will also look more normal, because you will have more confidence in yourself. The less you worry about being normal, the more confident you will seem.
Step 2. Use body language to convey confidence
Even if you are shy and feel out of place, having the right body language can give the impression that you are confident and aware of your abilities. Scientific evidence shows that assuming a "power posture" can change your brain chemistry, causing you to release testosterone, which makes you feel stronger by reducing levels of the stress hormone cortisol.
- Keeping body language safe means "opening up". Don't keep your arms and legs crossed, pull your shoulders back - don't assume a hunched or closed posture that raises your stress hormone levels.
- Before dealing with a situation that makes you feel nervous (a new social environment, a classroom, an interaction with people who have made fun of you), go to a quiet place and assume a power posture for at least two minutes.
- Try the "Wonder Woman" pose: pull your shoulders back and put your hands on your hips; keep your feet shoulder-width apart and raise your head.
- Even imagining yourself in a powerful and confident pose can make all the difference. Think of sitting with your legs on a coffee table, reclining in your favorite chair with your hands behind your head.
- Try to always stand with your shoulders back and one hand on your hip.
Step 3. Make rational choices
For example, if you wonder if your belt phone case is not normal, take a step back and evaluate the situation. If it's a necessary evil for your job or lifestyle, having that accessory is a logical choice. If, on the other hand, you could keep your phone in your pocket, perhaps you shouldn't leave the case out for everyone to judge. These rationalizations will allow you to make more logical decisions and, consequently, have more confidence.
Step 4. Communicate in a way that makes you feel comfortable
You should consider how you interact with others, but remember that other people are unaware of your difficulties. As you work on your communication skills, try asking questions and letting others talk. Orient conversations towards topics that make you feel comfortable, so that you suffer less from the limelight.
Step 5. Take care of your body
It's true: you don't need to be tall and thin to feel normal. However, diet and exercise can help you a lot in improving your body. The confidence that comes from your better shape will help you accept yourself and appear more confident in the eyes of others.
- Eat healthy foods. Try a healthy mix of proteins, carbohydrates, fruits, vegetables and fats every day. You don't have to be a health fighter to be normal - it's not that bad to eat ice cream or a bag of chips from time to time. Just try not to overdo it, you will be able to enjoy your food treats more if they are occasional episodes.
- Get lots of physical activity. If you spend a lot of time in front of the TV, get up off the sofa and get some fresh air! Go biking, swimming or walking. Exercising will keep you fit and healthy.
Step 6. Try new activities regularly
Many people don't like changes. Trying new experiences, however, is essential to broaden one's horizons. Like it or not, you will learn something about yourself and what you are doing. Try new hobbies with friends so that you feel more comfortable.
Part 2 of 4: Adjusting to the Surrounding Environment
Step 1. Find people similar to you
Especially if you belong to a different culture than your environment, you may have trouble building an effective support network. Look for people who have a history similar to yours. When you get used to a new environment, it helps to hang out with people who know where you come from. This can make you feel normal, understood and helped.
Try searching for meeting groups on the internet, at local community centers, university cultural groups, or asking your religious community for information
Step 2. Imitate the clothing of the people you hang out with
In order not to stand out negatively, clothes are very important. In addition to wearing the costume of the culture you live in, try not to look more or less elegant than the people around you. This is especially important at work, but it is also advisable in social circles.
- Imitating others can help you increase your self-esteem: when you see yourself reflected in the clothing or behavior of someone you appreciate or admire, you feel more confident and strong.
- Until you feel more confident and ready to take risks with your wardrobe, the awareness that imitation can give you will help you feel less vulnerable and more connected to your peers.
Step 3. Learn to understand the environmental context
The advice to adapt to your surroundings does not only apply to new cultures, but also to everyday situations. When you enter a room, look at the people inside. If everyone seems to have a strong emotion, don't do something typically associated with the opposite emotion. You could upset and distract a room full of people crying by telling a dirty joke.
- Notice the body language and expressions of the people in the room. Are they open and smiling? Are they closed and sulky? Do they seem relaxed and comfortable, or stiff and tense?
- Do people speak in a low tone, at normal volume, or do they scream or laugh loudly?
Step 4. Engage in activities similar to the people around you and behave like them
To convince people that you are one of the group, you just have to imitate their attitudes. Be careful, though: just because an activity is "normal" doesn't mean that all the people doing it aren't doing it wrong. Avoid unsafe and unhealthy behaviors, such as drug or alcohol abuse, even if it makes you feel outcast.
If everyone in your group is obsessed with football, try to be interested in that sport too. Go see a few games and learn the rules of the game. If it really bores you, don't keep following it, but you should at least give it a try
Part 3 of 4: Having Good Interpersonal Skills
Step 1. Participate in social activities
Avoiding social interactions can make you look weird. Try not to lose friends and not to alienate your colleagues by always rejecting their invitations. Social occasions can be intimidating, especially if there are people you don't know well around. You won't always get invitations for the perfect evening. The ability to participate in many social activities, however, makes you appear more normal and easy going.
Step 2. Cultivate an active social life
The easiest way to do this is to be willing to make friends wherever you go. Try not to worry too much about creating small groups or just hanging out with people who are "your type". If you get along well with someone, your friendship with them will be perfectly natural and normal. Having friends will make you seem more available.
Step 3. Be polite and use good manners
Society looks favorably on pleasant people. It is normal to be rough with your closest friends, with whom you feel comfortable. When trying to make a good impression, however, try to be more polite.
Step 4. Don't say too much, too soon
Meeting a new person is exciting, but there is a natural period of discussion to "break the ice" before you get comfortable with each other. Don't talk about intimate or personal topics (such as health problems, sexual preferences, traumatic events, etc.) until you really know a person. When you meet a new friend, filter your language to avoid alienating them.
Step 5. Control your emotions
Strong emotions are normal, and in some cases even positive. But big emotional scenes (mostly due to anger or sadness) can make people feel very uncomfortable. Commit to controlling your emotional responses to smaller problems and expressing your feelings constructively. Don't scream, don't throw objects, don't swear and don't get violent. Whenever possible, express your dissent calmly, calmly and politely.
If you get angry easily or think you are depressed, don't be afraid to consult a psychologist. You are not "crazy" if you talk to a professional psychologist. It can be a voice that can help you in a difficult time, or something much more important
Step 6. Moderate your opinions
It is perfectly normal to have strong opinions on certain topics, such as politics; It is also okay to take part in reasoned and sensible debates with other people about these things. However, if you happen to make fun of yourself or often attack people who have different opinions from yours, you may soon find yourself alone. Instead, try to listen to other people's opinions and be open-minded.
Part 4 of 4: Being Clean and Tidy
Step 1. Keep your home clean and tidy
Houses covered in dirt and litter make a bad impression on guests. Most people take pride in presenting a neat and clean image to the world. Show your guests that you can do the simplest housework.
Step 2. Always try to be tidy
Sloppy people also recognize themselves outside the home. You have to find the right balance, though, to not seem too stiff. Try to find a compromise between obsession with order and total neglect.
Step 3. Spend time taking care of yourself and your hygiene
It's no mystery why people develop daily hygiene routines. Doing so is important for your appearance and for your physical and mental health. Thanks to good hygiene habits you will be able to stay clean without a lot of effort: the people close to you will appreciate your efforts.
- Brush your teeth and floss. Adding floss to your teeth cleaning routine will help keep them in top condition.
- Put some deodorant on before you leave the house. Having a bad smell leads you to make a bad impression on the people you meet. If you have severe odor problems, consult a doctor to purchase a prescription deodorant.
- Even if you have long hair, cut it regularly. You don't need to do this often, but tidy hair impresses people around you positively.
Warnings
- Don't let someone else change who you are. Avoid making lifestyle changes unless you decide after some thought that it is really your intention.
- Participating in social activities does not mean giving in to peer pressure. Avoid social groups or situations that force you to engage in unsafe behavior. True friends never force you to do things that don't make you feel comfortable.
- Consult a counselor or trusted friend to discuss your normality with them. These people are able to tell you what to do in some situations.
