Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a heated argument, wishing you were motivated enough to have your say? Or maybe you would like to finally have the courage to suggest a different movie to see next Friday! Either way, being direct can be very rewarding. Read on to find out how to have the courage to express and assert your opinions!
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Part One: Finding Your Voice
Step 1. Gain greater self-awareness by keeping a journal
Knowing who you are, what you believe, think, feel and want are the basis for knowing yourself; keeping a journal is a great way to ground this knowledge. Write in your journal for at least 15 minutes every night before bed. Not only is it useful for getting to know yourself better, but the journal is a great tool for improving self-esteem, which is the first step to being more candid. Try these topics to begin the path to greater knowledge of yourself:
- What would your ideal birthday present be and why?
- What's the bravest thing you've ever done?
- Who do you admire most and why?
- How would you like to be remembered?
Step 2. Believe in yourself
To be direct, you also need to be convinced that your opinions have value. You have to believe that your contribution will make every conversation better. And it probably is! It is different opinions that make conversations or debates interesting.
- If you have self-esteem issues, an easy way to overcome them is to focus on a single topic.
- If you know a lot about the agricultural industry, start from there. If your passion is martial arts, go for those. The better you know a topic, the more comfortable you will be talking about it.
- Practicing in your area of expertise will help you extend your knowledge on more abstract topics, such as politics, ethics or religion.
Step 3. Overcome shyness
Just because you believe in yourself doesn't mean you like the sound of your voice. The next step is to overcome your shyness. Being more outgoing may be a terrifying challenge, but it's doable! With perseverance and motivation, your personality can be completely under control.
Everything revolves around a state of mind. You weren't born quiet and reserved! So it may take a while to lose those quiet habits, but they can be lost. You have made decisions at some point in your life to be where you are now - now is the time to make decisions about who you will become
Step 4. Find your strengths
Usually our strengths follow our interests, which reveal our passions. It's easy to be blunt about your interests and passions. Once you've identified your strengths, feel confident expressing your opinions or maybe take the lead on a project that requires this kind of skill. Ask yourself the following questions to find out your strengths:
- What are my interests?
- What are my hobbies?
- Which subjects do I do best in school?
- In what areas am I best at work?
Step 5. Develop your opinions
You certainly don't want to give the impression that you don't know what you're talking about - otherwise sooner or later nobody will listen to you anymore. Plus, it will be very difficult to get direct if you have nothing to say! Reflect and try to form an opinion on the topics that are most often talked about in your circle of friends. Only you have the answer, after all - and you can't go wrong!
- If you really don't have an opinion on an issue, do some research.
- Know that not having an opinion on something can also be taken a stance - it is simply not important to you and not worth discussing.
- For example, you might have gossip about a celebrity you just don't care about. It's okay to say "I have other priorities at the moment" or "I have no opinion about it".
Step 6. Back up your views with facts
Some people feel uncomfortable having or making a judgment because they don't know much about a topic. You can fight this sentiment and have more confidence in your opinion if you learn facts that support your idea.
For example, if your friends and family are talking about health care reform all the time, read a few articles on this topic and think about it. If you can back up your opinion with facts, you will feel even more confident in expressing yourself
Step 7. Find out what's important to you
Being direct doesn't mean giving your opinion every 12.5 seconds on anything from Cheerios to transcendentalism. However, if breakfast cereals are a matter of life and death for you, that's okay. But if your opinion about it is as interesting as a sugar-free Weetabix, better keep it to yourself.
This is another way of saying choose your battles. You don't have to be the kind of person who waves his opinions in everyone's face. It is one thing to be direct, another is to always want to have the last word. No thanks. Find something you are passionate about and stick with it. Is simple
Step 8. Remember that being reserved is also not bad
Western society pushes us to be outgoing. At work, those who raise their hand, nurture the conversation and establish meaningful relationships among colleagues have more value. However, there is nothing wrong with being reserved. If you want to be directed to please someone, not for yourself, you won't last long.
As with all things, the right is somewhere in between. Being direct 24/7 doesn't have to be your goal - you should aim to be direct when you feel your position isn't well represented or needs to be defended. If not, stay silent
Step 9. Open your mind
It is common sense when it comes to discussions. To express your opinion and sound rational and worthy of listening, you cannot appear bigoted, closed-minded or arrogant. So, before declaiming the grandeur of the greeting card industry, take a step back. You may not want to be so direct after all.
This is important before, during and after expressing your opinion. It's much more effective to say, You know, you're right, I never thought about it from that point of view, than to bomb someone with a million unassailable facts. Plenty of people can ramble on and on for hours on end - few know how to stop and admit they might be wrong
Method 2 of 3: Part Two: Interacting with Others
Step 1. Practice with a trusted friend
Straightforwardness is easy to misunderstand out of rudeness and arrogance. To learn the art of being blunt, choose a friend who knows and cares about you and practice speaking honestly and frankly with him. A trusted friend can help you practice frankness until it feels natural.
- Being outspoken might sound like this: "I love astronomy and I think we can learn a lot by studying the night sky."
- Being rude or opinionated would sound like this: "Anyone who doesn't appreciate the night sky is an idiot."
Step 2. Try to let go of your fears
It can be easy to be intimidated if you are concerned about what others think or say about you. However, you have to let go: By expressing yourself well when you have formed a clear opinion on something, it can make you feel more confident about what you are saying and worry less about the judgment of others.
Step 3. Try to be a little tactful
Let's say someone comes up to you and says, "In the last few weeks your breath smelled like hell. Please change your hygiene routine and do us the favor of brushing your teeth more often and for God's sake use the dental floss. ". How would you feel? Probably crap. Don't be that person! You can be direct but tactful, and be sensitive to other people's feelings.
Let's say the roles are reversed. Everyone would like to tell Jose that his breath is terrible, but no one has the courage. You finally decide to take the bull by the horns and say, "Hey Jose, you want a mint? I heard your breath. Eat garlic today huh?"
Step 4. Speak appropriately
Let's take an example: your friends are discussing Chomsky and Skinner's different theories on innate language abilities and you step in at the right moment by exclaiming: "You're crazy! It's the purple man in the sky who decides everything!" And run away, waving. his arms and screaming. Not exactly an eloquent argument, however direct. If you are convinced that it is a purple man in the sky that determines our mental processes and so on, at least argue this belief of yours before running away like a fury.
- In addition to being rational, try to be as comprehensive, eloquent and impartial as possible. Saying "The tuna industry is terrible. Anyone who eats it must be informed" is not the best way to express an idea.
- Try: "The tuna industry is completely against sustainability. It will disappear from the shelves in 10 years if we don't stop. Men are completely busting the cycle of nature." The second sentence is more difficult to contest!
Step 5. Know when to let go
In addition to knowing how to choose your battles, you need to know when to finish them. Once you've said your opinion, let her do the talking for you. Don't waste time on a lost cause.
Take a cue from those around you. If someone begins to feel offended, exasperated, or any other negative emotion, let go. You can come back to the topic later if necessary
Step 6. Practice and repeat
Any personality trait can be learned. Once you start being direct, the reaction will "become" automatic. You won't be bothered by the sound of your voice. Seeing others reacting to your opinions won't scare you. It's just a natural part of human interaction.
Aim to give your opinion once a day to get started. It starts like this and gradually builds up every time you find yourself thinking something relevant and don't say it. If you overdo it, it will be easy to step back. And if someone asks you the reason for your change, be honest! You're working on your frankness. That's all
Method 3 of 3: Part Three: Being Effective
Step 1. Be headed home "and" to work
It's easy to tell mom and dad how you "really" feel about the world around you. It's harder to attend a meeting, raise your hand, and get involved. But it's the difficult things that matter most. And they might get you that promotion!
The longer you do something, the more you get used to it - it doesn't matter what it is. So, start tomorrow. When you think of something you might say, say it. That's "all" you have to do. Do this once a day until being a talking part of the group makes you less scary. You can start building your skills from there
Step 2. Don't try to convince others that you are right
Intellectual, open debates can be invigorating and also a lot of fun. However, talking to someone who tries hard to convince you that he's right, and doesn't give up until he gets an unenthusiastic conversion of yours is not at all. Don't be that person who doesn't stop until everyone in the room agrees with him. That is not the goal.
Step 3. Remember that your I'm right is not the only one
Some people find it hard to keep their opinions to themselves without trying to convince the other party. This happens because they are often convinced that they are 100% right. The other person is ridiculous - why doesn't he notice it? Because the other person thinks the exact same thing.
Probably if you are on this page you are not the type I am right and you are wrong. However, sooner or later you will have to deal with this type of person, especially if you do not agree with them. Try to make her understand that her one-sided view of things doesn't lead to an intelligent and fun discussion. There is no point in arguing with such a person, so don't do it
Step 4. Don't denigrate others
Once you start voicing your opinion, you will meet people who want to express theirs too. You will also meet people who will tell you what they think and make you think, Did he really say that…? Maybe I misunderstood.. When that happens, don't lose your rational streak by saying things like, You're acting crazy, or You're stupid.. It doesn't put you in a better position, and the other person in a worse one. It just makes you look bad.
Do your best not to sound judgmental when talking about people. If you don't feel like going to a movie with your friends, say it openly, but - for example - if someone is talking about their weight loss problems, try to be as diplomatic as possible
Step 5. Above all, listen
Nelson Mandela (someone you seriously should listen to) once said. I always tried to listen to what every single person had to say in an argument before giving my opinion. Often, my opinion was simply to agree with what I had already heard.. And he is absolutely right.
Listening before speaking is very important - maybe someone has already said what you meant, or something better! the only way to be sure that your frankness reaches its goal is to listen before opening your mouth. It will also save you a lot of trouble
Advice
- If you have to tell someone that what they think they did is wrong, tell them privately.
- Don't say anything racist, sexist, or offensive in any way.
- Make sure you always fight for noble causes.
- Choose your battles.
- Make sure you dress well, you attract more attention if you have good taste.
- Do not be afraid. Your opinions are worth it.
- Use as few words as possible. Concise messages are more direct and effective.
Warnings
- You could make enemies this way, but usually those who are good and honest have few. You will also get a lot more respect.
- Be careful when there are superiors, teachers, etc. nearby.
- Some friends may prefer to have only very cautious and shy people around. A true friend should understand that you haven't changed, but expect changes in the group of people you usually hang out with.
