If you got a bad grade on a question, test, or report card, your parents may get mad at you. It is stressful to deal with their anger, but try to stay calm and converse with them. If you promise to try harder and propose ways to improve your grades, you should be able to calm them down.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Talk about your Vows
Step 1. Advance the news to your parents if possible
It's always best to avoid suddenly presenting yourself with a bad grade to your parents. If they are surprised or unprepared, they may get even more angry when they see your vote. If you know that you will be suffering from a failure, let your parents know before they see the report card or assignment.
A day or two before the assessment, try saying, "I don't think I've done well in chemistry this semester and I may have gotten a bad grade."
Step 2. Plan ahead
Decide what to say and how to do it before you start talking. Conversations like this usually go smoother if you think before opening your mouth. You could perhaps take notes or write down the key points to be addressed on a sheet of paper.
Thinking about what to say and how to explain your bad grade will help calm you down. Plus, it should allow you to put your thoughts in order, leading to a more productive and useful conversation
Step 3. Start the conversation with maturity
When you talk to your parents about your grades, try to stay calm, mature, and be direct. They are more likely to calm down if you are not hostile during the conversation. Even if they seem angry, try to stay calm.
- It starts with: "I know you are not happy with my report card and I wanted to talk to you about how to improve my grades."
- If your parents ask you angry questions (for example, "Do you have any idea how many sacrifices we make to send you to school?") Answer calmly (like "I know you want it to do well and I'm sorry I let you down").
Step 4. Stay calm
Your parents may get angry or frustrated with your bad grade. If it happens, try to stay calm. Arguing with them, crying or screaming will only make the situation worse. Take a deep breath and try to calmly respond to the anger you are undergoing.
- You may find it helpful to pause during the conversation to breathe deeply. If tempers heat up, ask your parents if you can step away for a moment to regain your clarity.
- You have the right to express your discomfort towards your parents or to ask them for help with school. In fact, they will likely be more willing to help you if you explain how you feel sincerely. You can work together to improve.
Step 5. Don't make excuses
Parents often get even more angry when they think you're making excuses or just don't commit. Avoid saying phrases like "It's not my fault". Even if your bad grades are partially justified by extenuating circumstances, your parents won't like hearing your apology when they're angry.
Step 6. Admit your mistakes
Let your parents know that you know you were wrong. If they see that you sincerely try to take responsibility for your mistakes, their anger will vanish. Admit the reasons your grades are low.
For example, you can say, "I know I used my cell phone too much this semester and I shouldn't have brought it to class. That's probably why I got bad grades."
Step 7. Let your parents do the talking
They will get even more angry if you interrupt them. Nobody likes to be reprimanded, but it's important that your parents have a chance to have their say. When they talk to you, try to really consider their point of view. They want you to get good results and it's understandable that bad grades make them angry.
Part 2 of 3: Trying to Improve
Step 1. Take the initiative
Before you even talk to your parents, start changing your attitude to show that you are sincere. Talk about your grades with your teacher, prepare a study plan, or find out about the tutoring options your school offers. Your parents will pass the anger first if they see that you are really trying to improve.
Step 2. Tell your parents that you will try harder
They will be less angry if they see that you understand that things need to change. Once you've heard their opinion and explained the reasons for your bad grades, promise to improve. You can say, "I know you are angry, but I'll try to improve my grades."
Step 3. Find ideas on how to improve
Your parents are not satisfied with a vague promise that you will do better. Promise you will try harder and then move on to the details of how you are going to do it. Together, you can discuss why your grades are low and how to improve them.
- Try to decide in agreement with your parents also about the goals to be achieved. Set goals together and ask your parents for help to reach them; by including your parents you make them part of the process and you will feel more empowered.
- For example, imagine you got bad grades because you spend more time talking to friends on the internet instead of studying. Offer to limit the time you spend on your computer or promise not to use the internet until you finish your homework first.
Step 4. Let your parents know how they can help you
It is in their best interest to help you out. You will be able to calm them down by offering more productive ways to deal with your grades. Instead of getting angry, they have the opportunity to find out what kind of help you need.
For example, you can say, "I'm doing a lot of chemistry, but I can't understand it. Can I go to class?"
Step 5. You propose a punishment
Taking responsibility is a great way to calm down your parents. Don't wait for them to punish you. Rather, suggest productive punishment that helps you improve your grades. For example: "Why don't you pick up my cell phone every day when I get home from school, until I'm done with my homework?"
Part 3 of 3: Move on
Step 1. Accept your parents' action plan without objecting
Once they have decided how to proceed, don't fight. Contesting their plan or complaining will only add to their anger. Even if the new rules you need to follow make you feel frustrated, accept them with maturity so that your parents don't get even more angry.
Step 2. Remember the overview
To stay in control of your emotions, remember why your parents are angry. Grades are important for your future. They can help you get into a good university and find a good job in the future. It's stressful to deal with your parents' anger, but think that they only want the best for you.
Step 3. Make an effort to improve your grades
Start studying harder now for better results. This way you will avoid making your parents angry in the future.
- Be careful in class by taking notes, avoiding electronic devices, and not sitting next to your friends.
- Ask questions about anything that is not clear to you and arrange private meetings with your teacher.
- Don't delay homework and study for tests and questions well in advance.
Step 4. Maintain open communication with your parents
Keep talking to them about your school performance, even when things are going well. Tell us what grade you got in your last test, explain in which subjects you struggle most and describe the other details of your academic life. Open communication helps your parents know when you need help and prevent bad grades in the future.
