If you want to make vomit to pretend you're sick, this article will tell you what ingredients to use to make it realistic. You will find some recipes for making disgusting vomit and learn how to convince others of your alleged indisposition.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Creating the Fake Vomit
Step 1. Use the leftovers from dinner
After eating, take some leftovers, chew them about 20 times, and spit them out into an airtight plastic bag. Make sure you are using enough food, but don't take away enough to make your parents suspicious.
- If you only have small amounts of leftovers, it would be best to leave them alone and create the fake vomit using other "ingredients" you might have in the kitchen.
- Dilute chewed food with water to make it more like vomit. You can also make it disgusting with a salad dressing, petroleum jelly, and milk.
- Alternatively, you could use cereal or any other food you eat for breakfast. Maybe you can get an even more convincing result.
Step 2. Mix orange juice, milk and crackers
If you are looking for a quick and easy way to simulate vomiting, perhaps this is the best recipe: just mix these three ingredients in an airtight bag. Mix equal parts of orange juice and milk, then chew a handful of crackers and spit them into the liquid. Close the envelope. Shake it to mix the ingredients thoroughly and make the fake vomit even more disgusting.
- If you can go without getting caught, put the mixture you made in the same mixer you used to mix the crackers with the rest. However, proceed carefully, as these tools tend to be noisy.
- Be careful with adding orange juice to the mixture, it could make the vomit look obviously fake.
- Instead of orange juice, you could use some lemonade. Thanks to its distinctive smell and yellowish color, it could be even more convincing.
Step 3. Use canned soup
If you don't have any leftovers to make the fake vomit, open the pantry - see if you have any canned soup that you could use for this purpose. The most realistic are fish broth, beef broth, pea soup or other broths containing solid pieces that appear to have been chewed, swallowed and rejected.
- As recommended with leftovers, try diluting the soup with water or milk. In general, you don't need to use the whole can, often half of it is enough. Store the fake vomit in a plastic bag or jar and hide it in your room.
- Choose a soup that you know will probably not be used. For example, if you still have that lentil soup you bought especially for a visit from a distant relative a few years ago, use that because no one will notice it's gone.
- If there is a serious risk that someone will notice that the jar has been used, avoid using it.
Step 4. Use oats and some food coloring
Take an empty bottle and fill it three-quarters full with water. Add a few drops of different food colors to make a revolting, brownish mixture. Add a handful of chewed leftovers to give it texture and make it even more disgusting.
The compound should be mostly aqueous. Adding too much oats will make it look like oatmeal. If your parents watch it closely and know you haven't eaten oats recently, they'll catch you red-handed
Step 5. Make fake vomit with spoiled milk
If you want it to be truly nauseating, you can plan it in advance. Pour the milk into a glass and hide it in your room, preferably in a corner away from the bed, so the smell won't bother you. Wait a few days for it to spoil, curdle and become revolting. It usually takes three to five days. It would be better to use chocolate or strawberry milk.
Before the milk goes bad, you can try adding chewed food and more so you don't have to do it later. When it congeals, you will want to keep away from it as much as possible
Part 2 of 2: Pretending to be Sick
Step 1. Hide the vomit in your room until you get the green light
Pour it into a plastic bag or jar and hide it in your room. Make sure the container is tightly closed - you certainly don't want it to tip over and make a mess.
If someone finds fake vomit before you can use it for your plan, explain that it's a science project or experiment
Step 2. Pretend to be sick from waking up
As soon as you get up, start complaining. Avoid having breakfast, or try eating listlessly with a nauseated expression on your face, as if the very idea of food disgusts you. Start acting like you feel broken. Your parents must understand that you are not well.
It is preferable to pretend to be sick in the morning. If you throw up, your parents won't let you go to school. By pretending to feel unwell too early, for example the night before or in the middle of the night, the plan is less likely to go through
Step 3. Take the fake vomit to the bathroom
Whenever you can, sneak to the bathroom with the plastic bag. Make sure you lock the door so you don't risk being caught red-handed with the envelope in hand.
If the vomit has dried, pour some water into the container and whisk it to regain its initial consistency. Kneel in front of the toilet and start making choked sounds
Step 4. Make a big scene
While in the bathroom, it starts making choking sounds, similar to gagging. Meanwhile, quickly pour the mixture down the toilet, as if you were actually throwing up. Get rid of the container as soon as possible. Move away from the toilet slightly, mumble and breathe heavily, as if you have just put it back.
Don't throw vomit on the floor. Think you can get in trouble for pretending to be sick? Imagine how much trouble you would have if in addition to this you forced your parents to have to clean spoiled milk or soup from the bathroom mat
Step 5. Brush your teeth immediately after "vomiting"
If it looks like you haven't actually put it back, you risk being caught red-handed right away. Once you've poured the fake vomit, start brushing your teeth - you definitely would after you actually put back. Open the door and let your parents see the fake vomit in the toilet before promptly flushing it.
Step 6. Keep pretending
After your parents see the vomit, you shouldn't do that much. You will be able to stay at home and avoid going to school. However, that doesn't mean you can start doing somersaults out of the blue. Act like you're tired and broken. Go back to bed and take advantage of this free day to relax.
If your parents call you from work, assume a tired, muttering voice. Explain that you still feel grounded, but a little better than in the morning
Step 7. Don't overdo it
You can definitely pretend to throw up, but don't overdo it. If you want to stay at home, you can get away with simply saying that you have remitted, without necessarily giving concrete evidence. Do not think too much. You don't have to do dramatic demonstrations and pretend to throw up soup or curdled milk on the floor.
If you want to pretend you're throwing up in front of someone just for fun, do a quick movement (as if it's a muscle spasm) and lean forward. Stretch your cheeks as if you're about to throw up. Repeat about three times, then pretend to swallow. Do it more and more intensely. After two more retches, he spits out the fake vomit
Advice
- Tell your parents that you are not feeling well the night before this "play".
- It may be helpful to lie on your back or tilt your head back while talking on the phone. It will look like you have a stuffy nose.
- Try not to repeat over and over that you feel bad, otherwise you risk betraying yourself.
- Make sure you are familiar with the consistency of the vomit. It should be smelly and disgusting. If it looks watered down, you'll know it's fake.
- Try not to overdo the gasps and other sound effects.
- Before you throw up, state that you are dizzy, nauseous, or are on the verge of fainting.
- Make sure you transform any leftovers, milk, or juice realistically, or you'll know the vomit is fake.
- Don't pretend to throw up as soon as you wake up. Get dressed early and get ready for school, but do it slower than normal and pretend to feel dizzy. If your parents ask you what you have, you can tell them you're not feeling well. A few minutes before you leave the house, go to the bathroom and put your plan into action.
Warnings
- Make sure you don't have trouble sleeping with the smell of chewed food.
- Remember that you may miss an important lesson at school and have to ask a friend or classmate for notes.
