Whether you are a student or a working adult, from time to time you may feel like life is getting out of hand. In everyday life, it's easy to get distracted by thoughts about the future: things to do after school or work, weekend plans, housework, etc. The same can happen with the past: you may feel regret about some decisions you have made, wish you had said or done something differently, or mull over how things would have turned out if you had made different choices. Thoughts like this can limit your ability to live in the "here and now" and prevent you from savoring what you are doing in the present moment. By becoming more aware of the world around you and of yourself you will learn to enjoy every moment of life, regardless of what you are doing.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Being More Aware
Step 1. Live in the present
Think about how much time you have wasted over the years mulling over past events that you don't have the power to change or worrying about something you can't really predict or change about the future. Getting lost in these kinds of thoughts can cause intense stress and anxiety, especially when you realize there is nothing you can do to alter the past or the future. The only thing you have the power to change is the present moment, "here and now", and the first thing to do is to become more aware of where you are, what you are doing and what is happening around you. you.
- Observe what happens in the world around you, but without judging.
- Just note your surroundings and all the events that are happening.
- Try to describe (mentally or aloud) what you see and what is happening in your immediate vicinity. Focus on concretely observable phenomena.
- Notice how you are part of that environment. Walk or sit quietly, breathe the air around you and recognize without judgment that you are temporarily part of that place.
Step 2. Eliminate distractions
There are many things that can distract you and prevent you from enjoying the present moment. In addition to the countless thoughts that normally crowd the mind, it is easy to be distracted by the ever-present electronic devices. Messages, chats, emails and notifications from social networks can take your attention away from what you are trying to do. Whether it's spending quality time with someone or just sitting alone to enjoy a peaceful environment, your (or friends') mobile phone can quickly take you away from the present moment.
- Mobile devices, such as tablets and smartphones, can distract you from the present moment, no matter what you're doing.
- You can plan to use them only at certain times of the day. For example, turn off your mobile phone when you engage in particular activities or simply when you are trying to enjoy a pleasant moment, alone or in company.
Step 3. Focus on the breath
Every day you take countless breaths without even realizing it. By actively focusing on your breathing you can be able to live more consciously. Research has shown that it is an effective way to calm the mind, especially when you are feeling anxious, and to bring attention back to the present moment, which is essential for living more consciously.
- Focus on the sensation generated by the air entering and exiting your nostrils.
- Notice how you feel the flow of air moving into your nose, chest and further down towards the diaphragm (under the rib cage).
- Feel how your abdomen expands and contracts each time you take a long, deep breath.
- Whenever the attention is distracted by some different thought, it simply brings the attention back to the sensations related to breathing in a conscious way.
Step 4. Ignore passing thoughts
It's easy to convince yourself that your mind is in control, especially when circumstances make you worried and anxious. However, it is important to remember that you always have the power to decide whether or not to get involved in a given thought, in any situation. As you become more aware, you will learn to observe thoughts and can choose whether to dedicate time to them or let them go.
- An important ingredient of being aware is accepting thoughts as they are, refraining from judging, holding, or countering them.
- Remember that thoughts are immaterial. They only acquire meaning when you give it to them.
- Don't try to banish an unwelcome thought, the only result you would get would be to mull over the discomfort it caused. Similarly, you should try not to cling to pleasant thoughts.
- Imagine that every thought that comes into your mind is like a cloud crossing the sky on a windy day.
- If you don't like a particular thought, just wait for it to pass and naturally drift away, not getting involved.
Step 5. Let go of the past
It's easy to get carried away by memories. There's nothing wrong with taking joy from past successes or learning from mistakes - actually, it's the right thing to do. However, mulling over things that are in no way relevant to the present or not relevant or becoming obsessed with something you have no power to change (like wishing you had said or done something differently) only causes anxiety and stress.
- It is important to admit that there is nothing you can do now to change what happened in the past.
- When you are able to accept that you cannot change the past, it will lose power over you.
- Repeat to yourself, "I can't change the past, so what's the point of worrying about it?"
- While there is nothing you can do to alter the past, you have the ability to control the present. By living consciously, you are able to decide how to live in the current instant.
Step 6. Avoid thinking about the future
You may feel excited about what might happen (for example waiting for the weekend), but also terrified (perhaps thinking about how awful it will be to have to go back to work on Monday morning). Being stimulated by the good things that await you is useful, but whatever state of mind you think about the future is, it forces you to forget about the present. As a result, fun occasions will seem to pass too quickly, and you may feel terrified as you mentally anticipate something you don't have the power to control right now.
- When you think about the future, you give up the ability to be fully in the present and savor that moment in your life.
- Avoid looking at your watch, checking your cell phone, or anticipating anything that is not relevant to what you are doing right now.
- Instead of getting involved in thoughts about what will or might happen, make an effort to stay aware to grasp the richness of the present moment.
- Only at this very moment can you decide how to act, what to say, what thoughts to have and what mood to welcome. These choices will affect the future, so it's important to do your best right now.
Step 7. Accept the reality
You may be tempted to label the present moment with some kind of evaluation. Perhaps you are thinking about how much better this moment is than one of the past week or that it could be even better if some factors were different. However, judgments of this kind can hinder your ability to fully enjoy the present moment as it is in reality. Try to accept things as they really are and let emotions and thoughts exist without imposing judgments or evaluations.
- Resist the temptation to judge. Any kind of thought / statement about the quality of reality can be considered a judgment, even a positive consideration such as "nice" or "funny".
- The judgments go beyond people and places. You may be judging the situation you are in, the weather conditions you are exposed to, or even the thoughts that come to your mind.
- Being aware means knowing how to accept things as they are, without imposing a consideration or judgment. It takes a lot of effort to succeed, but when you are able to accept the reality of the present moment, you will feel much more peaceful.
- Whenever you notice that you are judging something or someone, try to stop the ongoing process immediately. Say to yourself, "I don't mean to make a judgment," then try to let that thought go.
- Understand that savoring the present moment as it is in reality, without judgment or desire, will make it much more meaningful. That value will become a strong and positive memory, which will remain within you.
Part 2 of 2: Strategies for Becoming More Aware
Step 1. Meditate
The main goal is to be able to direct attention to the present moment without letting yourself be distracted or disturbed by anything else. Theoretically, it might sound simple, but it can take a lot of practice to gain clarity and mental clarity. In any case, any effort made to succeed in meditating will be rewarded with a feeling of intense calm and a heightened perception of the present.
- You can meditate while sitting in a comfortable position or while walking at a slow pace in a quiet place.
- Focus on your breath. Take slow, deep breaths using your diaphragm. Notice how the abdomen expands and contracts.
- Pay attention to the sensations of the body. You may feel the air moving through your nostrils, the sensation of the floor or ground under your feet, a sense of calm, or an emotion of anxiety or fear.
- Notice your feelings without judging them. Also, don't try to hold them back. Just become aware of them, then let them go.
- Whenever a thought comes to your mind, try not to dismiss it, but at the same time not to hold it back. As with the physical sensations of the body, you should simply become aware of it and let it go.
- If you find yourself distracted, gently bring your attention back to the breath and the sensations it causes in your body.
Step 2. Focus on your senses
At every moment, a seemingly endless stream of thoughts flows through the brain. They are useful in most situations, but in some cases they can distract you or even harm you. The most effective strategy to calm the mind is to focus on what is observable. Pay attention to concrete and tangible information conveyed by the senses. Try to force your mind to dwell on what you perceive of the environment through sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch.
- Look around you and notice the intricate organization of the world.
- Pause to listen to the sounds that come from the environment around you. If you are in a noisy place, for example in a bar, try listening to the uninterrupted hum generated by the set of voices, rather than trying to isolate individual sounds.
- Feel what you have under your feet or buttocks (chair, sofa, floor) and notice the sensations that those surfaces in contact with your body cause. Notice the perceptions that come from the feet touching the ground, from the hands resting on your lap or from the arms stretched out at your sides.
- Don't force yourself to appreciate your surroundings. When you are aware of the present moment, you automatically become aware of all the things around you.
- As you perceive the outside world through the five senses, resist the temptation to make judgments. Think of the things you see and hear as mere fragments of existence without considering them good or bad.
Step 3. Try to appreciate the little things
You may be led to think that your life is a succession of great events and that they are the only important aspects. Yet life is also made up of countless small moments that follow each other every day. One of the best ways to be able to enjoy them is to live them consciously, appreciating them as they are. You can do it moment by moment, to give more meaning to your life and to live every moment in a more serene way.
- Slow down the pace at which you live your days to be able to appreciate in every moment what you see and hear through the five senses.
- When you shower, notice how you feel as you massage shampoo into your hair or soap onto your body.
- Every time you eat, take a moment to appreciate the look, scents and flavors of your food. Chew slowly and think about how much water, sunlight, and effort it took to create your meal.
- Try to live every moment fully, with practice you will learn to enjoy and appreciate every aspect of it.
Step 4. Learn to consider other people's points of view
If you feel upset about the behavior of a friend, family member, or co-worker, your frustration is likely to ruin an otherwise pleasant time. It's easy to feel anger at others when you value their actions from your point of view, but it's worth considering that in their minds they make sense.
- When you feel negative emotion about something someone said or did, take a moment to think.
- Try to find three good reasons that may have prompted the person to behave that way. Focus on positive motivations, rather than just thinking, "He only did this to hurt me" or "He doesn't know what he's doing."
- Whenever you come up with a possible positive explanation, try to consider the situation from the other person's point of view. Probably the behavior that bothered you stems from a sensible reasoning, which at the time you failed to understand why you were firm on your position.
- Learning to consider the perspective of others can help you evaluate each situation in more objective terms. You will have less difficulty staying calm and with your mind in the present, and you will also be able to be more understanding and empathetic.
Advice
- Try to keep your mind in the present, to always be attentive and aware of your every thought, action, word and emotion.
- Do not try to banish the thoughts and feelings that come to your mind in an apparently causal way, but in the same way do not hold them back. Simply acknowledge them and let them go without judging them.
