Do you have an annoying neighbor that you want to fix? If you are determined to annoy your neighbor as much as you can, then all you have to do is find a way to make noise and come up with a tactic that annoys the neighbor by leaving him speechless. The beauty is that you can drive him crazy without breaking the law and, in some cases, without even leaving the house.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Making Noise
Step 1. Mow the lawn early in the morning and very often
Mowing the lawn is the right of every owner. If you have a garden that adjoins that of the neighbor and you want to shorten the lawn at the first light of dawn, even on Saturday or Sunday morning, who has the power to stop you? Certainly not your neighbor. If he asks you to stop making noise or mow the lawn later, simply explain that you are a morning person and that you don't have time to do it at other times.
- You can be even more annoying if with a bright smile you say cheerfully: "The morning has gold in its mouth!".
- This is a perfect trick because the neighbor will not be able to say that you make noise just to be annoying, as it is a chore.
Step 2. Get as many wind chimes as you can
Another instrument that produces a strong noise is the furin (in Japanese), that is the object from which one or more tubes hang which, when the wind blows, produce a cheerful ringing. Without any effort, after hanging them, all you have to do is wait for the wind to do its job. Relax and wait for your neighbor to be mortally annoyed. If he asks you to remove them, simply point out that you have every right in your home to put the furniture wherever the hell you want.
Fun Fact: In some communities in the United States, wind chimes are illegal, so if you live there, check local regulations before hanging them
Step 3. Organize a party on the terrace or in the garden
Also if you have an outdoor space bordering your neighbor's home, a great way to annoy him is to choose a splendid and warm evening to invite about fifty of your closest friends to the garden. You can set up an outdoor bar, schedule a variety of games, and place plenty of chairs in multiple spots where guests can sit down to socialize. Make the party take place as close to the neighbor's house as possible by putting on some music so guests feel in the mood for partying. The neighbor will go crazy asking you to turn the volume down repeatedly.
Of course, just remember to make noise within a certain limit and stop altogether at midnight. Neighbors may call the police and make a complaint about noises at night, and it is not appropriate to run into this type of problem
Step 4. Sing on the patio or in the garden
Do you think you have a voice like Aretha Franklin or Elvis? Even if you feel you are not in tune, you will never know until you try, and what better place to test your singing skills than in the garden? Sing out loud and often the most annoying songs that jump into your mind, so that your neighbor will shiver right in his house. If he asks you to lower your voice, calmly explain that you have every right to train your voice.
To add to the dose, you can try singing while doing some chores on the patio or starting the lawn mower early in the morning
Step 5. Put the music on full blast
Music brings people together and bridges differences, but it's also perfect for annoying neighbors. Listen to your favorite music on the veranda or terrace, perhaps by putting it in the car, if you live in a villa, or at home leaving the windows open. This way you will definitely disturb those who live next door, especially if the songs are so unbearable and repetitive that they get into the neighbor's head making them mad.
If the neighbor insists that you turn off the music, you may agree to do it very cheerfully and then immediately continue singing the song you interrupted
Step 6. Make the dog bark
Nothing is more welcome than a noisy and annoying dog. If you have a dog, then encourage him to bark as loud as he can, especially late at night or early in the morning. Dogs are not people, so the neighbor will be less likely to complain, but will most likely roam around the house angry and annoyed.
If the neighbor has an objection, you might say something like, "He expresses himself as best he can. Asking a dog not to bark is like asking a man not to breathe!"
Step 7. Place a basketball hoop in your garden path or patio and play often
Another great way to make some noise is to set up a basketball hoop, where you have an open space, and play as often as you can. If you are alone, just bounce the ball as much as possible and also avoid the shot so as to create more fuss when the ball bounces off the ground, perhaps even against the wall. If you're playing with friends, be sure to call the shots out loud and make as loud as you can.
- If the neighbor asks you to lower your voice, you can say something like, "I need to train. I'm a pro!".
- Consider inviting a rowdy group of friends to play a game.
Part 2 of 3: Cause an Inconvenience
Step 1. Get it to get junk mail
Another way to annoy your neighbor is to get him to get some junk mail, both online and in the letterbox, by writing his address on the promotional postcards of some business that frequently sends offers to customers. Just make sure that it doesn't know where all this junk is coming from and continues to accumulate it.
The more unpredictable and annoying it is, the better. If you can make sure she gets junk mail from pet stores, when she doesn't actually have any animals in the house, or fishing and hunting gear, even better. You could even subscribe him to a clothing catalog for teenage girls if you want to be more annoying
Step 2. Have him deliver the pizza
This joke is an old but always good one. Just call a pizzeria that does home delivery near you and order a couple of huge, smelly pizzas - with a mountain of garlic and anchovies for example - leaving the neighbor's home address and wait for the delivery to take place. He will certainly be unaware of everything and annoyed, especially if he will also be forced to pay for what he did not order. You can also order it when you're not at home, so she'll have less reason to suspect you.
Make sure the pizzeria can't trace your number or call you back when they find there has been some confusion
Step 3. Tell a door-to-door salesperson that your neighbor has fallen in love with their product
If some traveling salesperson or sales rep knocks on your home, tell them that even if you aren't personally interested, your neighbor is a big fan of the product they sell, whatever it is. Just add that he is a bit shy and, therefore, it is necessary to insist on making him admit how much he really appreciates him. Tell him not to waste any more time with you and to go talk to him directly as soon as possible.
Tell him something like: "The gentleman next door has really fallen in love with your product. All he does is talk about it and say how much he would like to have it."
Step 4. Push some leaves into the neighbor's garden or terrace
This is another simple but effective ploy to annoy. In the fall, after raking your garden or using a leaf blower, be sure to "accidentally" push the leaves into the neighbor's area, so that he is forced to put in place. It will be particularly annoying if the neighbor has recently finished clearing the lawn or an outdoor area of leaves. Plan this joke carefully, as it's not something you can do more than once without arousing too much suspicion.
The more nervous he gets, the more innocent you will have to appear. Give him a gnorish grimace and shrug his shoulders, saying, "My fault! I guess it's because I'm learning to use this hellish thing that blows leaves…"
Step 5. Go out into the garden in a bathing suit
If you have a pool and want to annoy your neighbor, try wearing a bathing suit, even if you don't plan on swimming. You have every right to wear whatever you want in your space, especially if the neighbor is a fun company. Wear your swimsuit even when you just want to hang out on the porch, do some yard work, or play basketball. It's a terrific tactic, because he'll be so embarrassed that he can't tell you to cover yourself.
If the neighbor has guests, try to go out with a loud greeting and also try to chat with his guests, without showing any signs of modesty
Step 6. Make phone pranks
Prank calls never go out of style, and if you intend to annoy your neighbor, then you should disguise your voice to bother him a little. The best thing you can do is wait until dinner time when he sits down at the table with the family to bother him even more when he gets the call. You can pretend you're calling from a made-up charity, insisting on talking to someone who doesn't live there, or saying they have to pick up a car as a prize thanks to their online entry (possibly signed by your children) in a car manufacturer's competition.
- Try out your phone prank with a friend first, so you don't burst into laughter and hook up on the best part of the call.
- Of course, you can make your phone number invisible before making the call.
Step 7. Leave a trail of sugar on the entrance to the garden or terrace
You risk a lot of trouble with this diabolical move, but if you are involved in a feud with your neighbor and intend to cause him a serious problem, wait for him to come out and leave a trail of sugar in the garden or on the terrace. He will attract ants, bees and other various lovable insects that will crawl closer and closer to his door or window of the house.
When you leave the sugar trail, make sure the neighbor stays out all day so the bugs have a chance to really do some damage before he returns
Step 8. Steal the neighbor's magazines
No waiting is more welcome for a neighbor than that of the magazine to which he is a subscriber and which he receives periodically in the mailbox. That's why you need to know when the delivery is due (which day of the week or month) and innocently sneak in to steal his magazine. This is a really irritating joke, and as long as you can sneak up on it, it can be hard for him to accuse you of what happened.
- If you are caught red-handed, you can say that you got confused and took the magazine from the wrong hole, thinking it was yours.
- It can be even more annoying if the neighbor knows you are receiving the same periodical and thus will have even less reason to suspect you. You can also steal his copy and kindly offer to loan him yours as the other appears to have disappeared.
Part 3 of 3: Annoying the Apartment Neighbor
Step 1. Occupy the neighbor's parking space
If you live in an apartment building with an assigned parking space, then one of the most annoying things you can do is occupy your neighbor's parking space. It will be incredibly annoying, especially if there is little parking available, and he will be forced to walk quite a bit after parking on the street. Even if the neighbor realizes it was you, this joke can be really annoying, especially if you act like a gnorri. Of course, it works best if your seat has also been occupied.
If you have two parking spaces next to each other, it could also be very annoying to put your car a few inches inside its strips, so that it straddles the two places. Of course, if you are renting, your landlord may not be happy that you are playing these tricks
Step 2. Play squash or tennis against the adjacent wall
If you are lucky enough to live literally next to your neighbor, then it's time to bring out the Rafa Nadal in you. Take out your tennis or squash racket, and spend a lot of time throwing the ball against the wall. Make sure you do this when you know the neighbor is in the house, persistently and insistently. When he asks you to stop, try to watch him as seriously as you can and tell him that you need to train for the national tennis championships - or any other sport you can think of.
If he tries to get you to stop by hitting the wall, then you should act as if you don't understand what that means, thinking it's a game; hit the wall in the same way, laugh and start throwing the ball again
Step 3. Prepare "fragrant" foods
If you live so close that you can smell whatever food is cooked in the other apartment, then you may want to prepare foods that have a strong smell. It could be a whole dish of garlic or a strong-smelling dish. Open the windows so that the smell of what you are doing can come from the neighbor. The other part of the coin is that, of course, you'll need to smell what you've cooked too, but you can minimize the damage by getting everything ready before going out for a few hours.
If you see that the neighbor has a guest, what better time to cook a whole dish of garlic?
Step 4. Leave the clothes hanging
If you live in an ancient building where there is the possibility to share the lines to hang out the laundry or any other space, one of the biggest annoyances is leaving your clothes hanging recklessly, preventing him from hanging his own. Fill as many threads as possible and leave the clothes there even when they have dried. The downside is that they may discolour in the sun and collect dust when they are outdoors for too long. However, it is fun to do it every now and then and see the black face of the neighbor when he has been waiting for two hours with a basket of clothes that are likely to become impregnated with the smell of damp - maybe he will even have to wash them again.
If the neighbor has moved the clothes, knowing they are yours, try to appear incredibly upset that he has invaded your privacy and start making a drama
Step 5. Watch television at deafening volume
A classic way to annoy your neighbor is to turn up the volume on the television as much as possible. You can turn it all up and then jump in the shower, so the neighbor won't be able to immediately ask you to turn it down. You can watch an old movie you love and then have fun yelling all the actors' lines, putting on a nice little show for the neighbor. You might even be watching late-night TV, laughing out loud as much as you can, so the neighbor knows exactly what you're up to.
If it asks you to turn the volume down, try saying, "What? What did you say? I'm sorry, I'm deaf in one ear." In this way he will feel almost mortified to have asked you
Step 6. Put petroleum jelly on her front door handle
Put some petroleum jelly on the neighbor's doorknob so a nasty surprise awaits him when he tries to break into his apartment. Not only will the petroleum jelly make him feel sticky and dirty, it will make it harder for him to turn the handle and enter his apartment. It is especially annoying if the neighbor has just returned from a long vacation or shopping trip.
Just make sure that the petroleum jelly doesn't actually go into the lock, or else chances are you'll have to pay for the repair if it catches you
Step 7. Knock on her door at odd times, borrowing something
This is another way to irritate the neighbor. You could knock on the door at seven in the morning and ask if it has any ingredients for making chocolate chip cookies; tell him that you have a very strong desire! Or you might be knocking late in the evening, asking if he can get you some bacon. Don't let him know you're just kidding, so act like your requests are real.
