Maybe you were living your romantic dream, until you found out that your partner was cheating on you, maybe you were great together, when one of you didn't decide to leave, maybe the guy you thought would make sense of your days didn't want to knowing about you, or the mysterious gym girl you fantasized about didn't accept your attention. Whatever the reason if you are reading this article, it is because you have lost the object of your desires, and probably even while you are reading it you do nothing but think about that person. You keep thinking even you know you shouldn't do it anymore, so you feel sad and distressed. Who knows if after reading this article you will start looking at your broken relationship, or your crush gone wrong, with different eyes and you will be stronger, ready to face a new life as a couple.
Steps
Step 1. Let's face it:
Being left behind, or being rejected, are pleasant sensations like food poisoning. But there is one factor that unites us: sooner or later it happened to everyone. You are certainly not alone. For how much sadness you may have at this moment know that you will move on and you will become stronger.
Step 2. It's a matter of priority, so don't give up on the first try
You feel hurt and it is time to heal. Just take a few days to remember, think, ask yourself why, and cry. But you will see that the tears will not bring any relief! Confide in a friend and have a good time, even if you think you can't do it. Good food, good movies, music, meeting friends, art or hobbies are great ways to forget the pain. It is very important to complete this step, if necessary read these lines several times but do not hesitate to act. You have to do it. Before starting a new chapter it is important to reflect on the situation and decide to start healing.
Step 3. The first days have passed, and now, what to do?
Erase, erase, erase … all traces of your Ex or your sentimental fantasy must be removed. You are only in the first week, so you will still be experiencing very confused emotions, it is normal that this is the case. As you clean up your memories, try to reflect on whether it wasn't better for both of you to be broken up, you may feel freaked out, depressed beyond all limits, but whatever you are feeling, erase it. The time has come to throw away the photos that portray you, to package all of his gifts and to remove him from the list of friends in your social networks. There is no longer any need to cling to something that has led you nowhere. So get rid of everything! Including your messages!
Step 4. Think carefully about everything, but don't obsess about it
You can ruminate as much as you like about why it's over. Think about the reasons for the breakup, or ask yourself why it didn't work out. Even if you don't think there is any good reason, there certainly is at least one, and probably more than one. Think that you have been well together for a while, or at least you have been happy thinking about that person, but, even if it seemed to you that everything was fine, what you were close to was not your partner for life. It would be over anyway, no matter how, it was only a matter of time. So if so, better sooner rather than later.
Step 5. Write about your feelings
Start writing a journal, or compose poetry. Write sincerely without needing to correct yourself. You will be surprised to see how many things you can pull off, how many emotions can flow through the writing. The ideas will begin to clear up, and as your pain becomes weaker you will realize how many important life lessons are contained in the words you have written. No relationship (or infatuation) is a failure if you can learn from it, leave your heart open to both joy and pain. Just because the story didn't go the way you wanted it doesn't mean it wasn't important to your growth path. At least let the lived experience enrich you.
Step 6. Keep busy
Start focusing on other things. Exercise, start painting, join a club. Just because a desire didn't come true, or a relationship broke up, doesn't mean you're done or lost along the way.
Step 7. Feel good about yourself
Think about all the things you love about yourself and your life. Think of them as blessings. Sometimes all we need is just a little love for ourselves. Don't blame yourself if you weren't the right person for him or her, don't think the breakup happened because you're not as attractive as their new partner. Dedicate yourself to physical activity, do exercises to strengthen your muscles, treat yourself to treatments in a spa, rediscover your beauty, because the loser is not YOU but the person who left you. You are the AWARD.
Step 8. Look for an outlet channel
For you it could be music, writing, or friends. Whatever it is, find a way to focus on some specific activity at least for a while. You may discover things about yourself that you weren't aware of before.
Step 9. Try something new
Try a new style, a new sport or a new leisure activity.
Step 10. Maintain your dignity
Most of the time the pain is self-inflicted on us by our Ego, we feel teased or rejected, embarrassed. We ask ourselves whether or not we are equal to the others, if we are adequate. A breakup, especially if preceded by a betrayal, can put a strain on your self-love and your confidence in yourself. Try to restore your internal balance by doing activities that make you feel good, such as volunteering, taking classes, or doing things that remind you of your worth.
Step 11. Make new acquaintances
And who knows? You may find the person you really need.
Step 12. Try not to spend too much time pitying yourself
Otherwise your friends will start avoiding your company and you will feel even more alone. If you don't react, your mood will constantly become depressed and it will be even more difficult to get out of it. You can't get knocked down by a little accident, because it could happen to you once again in your life, so you have to be strong enough to deal with it. Instead of saying "my life sucks because …" try to say "my life is beautiful because …". Rather than always thinking about unpleasant events, focus your attention on the wonderful things that have happened in your life.
Step 13. The Music
Music can help you relate to your problems, and even overcome them. Listen to music on your iPod / MP3 often, especially in the first few months after the breakup. Even if it is relaxing music. It is proven that music brings relief to the mind.
Advice
- Remember it's the person who left you missing something, not you. Those who have done it have not realized your worth, leave it for someone who is truly special, and who is just waiting to meet you.
- Don't keep torturing yourself with the memories of your Ex. If you meet him around try not to talk to him, don't look at him, it will hurt you and could bring the memories back to the surface. Think of yourself only as the future husband, or wife, of someone you will meet. For someone else one day you will be indispensable.
- The phrase "let's be friends" is usually never put into practice after a breakup, even if you try to establish friendship it will never be a relaxed and fulfilling bond. And it may be even more difficult for you who have been left to be able to move on. Don't think that staying friends is the best choice, it could only increase your discomfort. However, if you were friends before other feelings changed the relationship, and both of you have no problem keeping in touch, then be friends! But usually it is always best to avoid it, because you will always come back to think about the "IFs" whenever you are in contact.
- The pain sooner or later goes away. The problem with being rejected is that the wound continues to burn for a long time, and it could take a while. But remember that what you tell yourself is what you end up believing, so, no matter how it happens, be convinced that you will be able to get out of it. It is always helpful to focus on the end of the pain rather than on the pain itself. It is not wrong to get up immediately from a fall, dust off and mount your horse again. Freezing on the idea of rejection will only strengthen your pain.
- Whatever you do DO NOT call your Ex. What are you trying to achieve? You won't be able to get him back because he made the decision. The concept to understand is that if he left you you are not part of his life (at least not anymore). If the relationship didn't work out, there must have been a reason. If he wasn't interested, he just doesn't like you. I got it? It is a fact and you cannot do anything to change it.
- Find something every day that makes you smile. Finding a smile helps even in the worst moments of life. Now you are free to be whoever you want, without thinking if he or she will agree. Nothing is more important than you. Love yourself, love life, and every time you wake up, SMILE! By translating the lyrics of Carole King's song "Beautiful" you will find some good suggestions, namely "you have to get up every morning with a smile and show the world how much love there is in your heart. Then people will start treating you better and you will find that you are really as good as you feel. " Try listening to this song in the morning to find the right motivation.
- Remove the forgetful person from your Facebook to avoid reading their updates.
