The American Psychiatric Association (a professional organization of psychiatrists in the United States) defines a sociopath as someone with antisocial personality disorder, who does not respect cultural, moral and legal norms. Although often a lovable and sociable individual, the sociopath generally demonstrates a severe lack of empathy towards others and does not feel guilty about their behaviors. He can lie and repeatedly manipulate others to his advantage. Therefore, if you have been in a relationship with a sociopath, try to recover by distancing yourself, giving yourself all the time you need, and going to therapy.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Turn the Page
Step 1. Recognize what you went through
One of the first steps in recovering from a relationship with a sociopath is to fully acknowledge everything you've been through. It is important to reflect on your experience in order to understand what happened and how you can overcome it. Since a sociopath usually feels no guilt about what they have done or hurt others, a relationship with someone who exhibits symptoms of antisocial personality disorder can be enormously complicated.
- A sociopath is not even able to put himself in your shoes, rather he blames you for a given situation. It can also rejoice when you suffer and feel distressed.
- It is important to identify these attitudes and diagnose the behavior.
- In this way, you will come to understand that you have no fault and that you are not responsible for his conduct.
Step 2. Value your emotions
Once you begin to understand the situation you have found yourself in, you will learn to identify the emotions that you probably had to repress or that your ex had destabilized or inhibited. If you are feeling frustrated, sorry, and perhaps even a little stupid that a person has taken advantage of you, accept these emotions and admit that it is a completely understandable reaction.
- By recognizing your emotions, you will be able to accept what has happened and you will learn to trust your emotional reactions.
- A sociopath who feels no guilt or empathy can compromise your emotional awareness and destabilize your perception of yourself.
- Understand that these emotional reactions are normal and that your ex can't help you recover from your relationship.
Step 3. Take your distance
In these circumstances, you need to physically distance yourself from your ex. You will be able to recover by getting rid of his presence, so that you have the time to reflect and rebuild your life. A sociopath is less likely to follow someone when they drift away, so consider staying out of town for some time with a friend or relative.
- Changing your environment could have a positive effect and allow you to see things from another point of view.
- Maybe it will be useful to delete all contact information and not connect on social networks.
Step 4. Set firm limits
To recover from this relationship, you need to clearly and firmly set conditions that will keep you away from your ex. The latter may not respect your decisions, so you will have to set limits not to cross. To keep the necessary distances that will allow you to recover your well-being, it is essential to have a clear idea of the direction to take and what not to do.
- You could write down anything you don't have to do, like taking his calls or contacting him.
- Among other things, by setting limits, you will have the opportunity to abandon the dysfunctional patterns that characterized your relationship.
- It might be helpful to imagine a physical boundary between you and your ex. Try to create a barrier in your mind against which you see his most offensive comments and gestures bounce.
Step 5. Don't play the victim
Convince yourself that you will no longer be a victim. This story has ended and you are moving on. Accept it and repeat it several times. By repeating encouraging phrases, you will be able to express the most negative reactions or beliefs that over time may have become normal or prevalent, and then replace them with more positive ones.
- Find time to reflect on yourself and who you are. Think about what you want to do, where you would like to go and what you intend to achieve.
- Since your ex hasn't been able to show any empathy towards you during your relationship, try to be understanding and forgiving yourself.
- Take into account the difficulties you have faced, but confine them to the past and create a positive image of your future.
Step 6. Seek support from friends and family
Your relationship has lacked empathy and understanding, so you need to spend your time with people who can relate to your situation. This way you will be able to value what you are feeling and accept what you have been through. Friends and family are the best people you can confide in. Make sure you feel comfortable talking about your relationship and have confidence in the interlocutors you have chosen.
- Try talking to friends who haven't had a relationship problem.
- Spend some time with friends or family who have a positive spirit and help you think about the future, as well as reflect on the past.
- Consider seeing a counselor so you can get professional help, independent of your relationships.
Part 2 of 2: Learning from Experiences
Step 1. Recognize the signs of antisocial personality disorder
You can learn from your experiences and treasure them for the rest of your life. As you reflect on what happened during your story, try to identify and diagnose behaviors that indicate antisocial personality disorder. Generally, sociopaths are not ashamed of what they do or the pain they inflict on others, and sometimes they happily admit that they hurt people emotionally, physically, or financially. They often make the victims of their violence feel guilty, accusing them of being naïve. If you can recognize these behaviors, you will have no trouble spotting them in the future. Here are some important signs that tell you if you are dealing with a sociopath:
- He treats you badly and expects you to act like nothing has happened.
- Manipulate people, directly or indirectly.
- He treats you differently at various times for no reason whatsoever.
- He has no problem lying to get out of trouble.
- He puts the blame on others, without taking responsibility for his actions and consequences.
- Sometimes he seems to rejoice in manipulating and hurting people.
Step 2. Realize that you are not at fault
At some point you will wonder if you could have acted differently and if what happened was up to you. The more you learn about antisocial personality disorder, the more you understand that sociopaths tend to feel no remorse for what they do and that they can even take pleasure in manipulating and hurting others.
- Sociopaths can be skilled manipulators. How they act is up to them, not you.
- They may be very charismatic and capable of feigning emotions, such as guilt.
- Although you will have a hard time identifying their behaviors, sociopaths are generally fully aware of the pain they cause.
- This awareness separates sociopaths from people with other personality disorders. For example, narcissists can hurt people, but in an attempt to protect themselves.
Step 3. Go to therapy
Consider seeking professional help to recover from a relationship with a sociopath. Find a psychotherapist who specializes in sociopathic behavior. You need to consult a mental health professional who specializes in psychiatric disorders and can help you move on. Before making an appointment, ask them if they have any background in this area or if they have experience with patients who have dealt with sociopaths.
- Seek a group or support among other victims. The people who can best understand what you are going through are those who have had an experience similar to yours.
- Ask your therapist to suggest a support group for you or search the Internet for forums dedicated to people who have found themselves in your circumstances.
Step 4. Go slow in new relationships
If your history with a sociopath has been characterized by mistreatment and abuse, you need to take the time to recover and really accept what happened. Avoid jumping into another relationship right away, and possibly watch out for warning signs. Think about everything you've been through with your ex and don't underestimate everything that reminds you of your previous relationship. Here are some warning signs to keep an eye out for:
- Do you recognize the extent to which your behaviors affect others and do you take responsibility for them?
- Do you accuse others of your situation?
- Can you apologize honestly and sincerely?
- Do you admit when you are wrong?
Warnings
- Be careful if you have a confrontation with the sociopath after you leave them. At times, these individuals can be dangerous. Walk away and call the police if you fear for your safety.
- If you are constantly afraid, depressed, or unable to manage your daily life, let your therapist or doctor know.
