In a friendship, everything changes when love comes into play. How the relationship turns after you state your feelings depends on how the other person feels, but how you talk about it also has a big impact on the outcome. There is no method to ensure your attempt is successful, however there are some helpful strategies that can help you tell someone you have a soft spot for them.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Understanding When the Time Is Right
Step 1. Try to understand your feelings
First, it's important to ask yourself if what you are feeling is strong enough to really try to take the relationship to the next level. There are many different types of attraction. In some cases, what you feel may not be so intense as to lead you to action; in other situations it is better to wait. However, if you really want to declare your love, don't be afraid to go for it.
Step 2. Assess your chances of success
This is probably not the first thing you want to think about when you start to feel attraction to someone, but it's important to consider whether there is a chance that they will reciprocate your feelings. Did she show signs of attraction beyond friendship or did she always drift away when things got more intimate? It is important to weigh the risks of telling the truth about your feelings if you want to safeguard your friendship.
By revealing your true feelings to a friend, you can make it worse, especially if you don't approach the issue correctly
Step 3. Find out if the person you like is already attracted to someone else
To gauge your chances of success, it's important to find out if she has any other potential interests. Letting someone know you have feelings for them is a big risk, especially if the relationship you have now is very important to you. With this in mind, it's a good idea to make sure no one has beaten you on time before jumping in. Even if the other person may be interested in you, they will rarely agree to start a relationship if they are dating someone at the moment.
Try to understand the difference between true interest and a passing attraction. If your friend has said that someone of the opposite sex is "beautiful" or even "cool", that doesn't mean she wants to date him. On the contrary, it could test you, to judge your reaction when he says something like this
Step 4. Notice signs of attraction in the person you like
The signs of attraction, conscious or unconscious, usually emerge in social relationships, even in new friendships. If another person likes you, you will be able to guess. Does he go out of his way to shower you with attention and compliments? If it's a girl, does she often look away when you are together, or does she smile and laugh more than usual when you talk?
Guessing if the attraction is mutual will not only help you figure out what your chances of success are, it will also make you more confident when it comes to confessing your feelings
Step 5. Make sure there are no problems with your friendship
Even if there is attraction between you, admitting the state of affairs creates tension in the relationship and is best avoided if there are other issues to be resolved at the moment.
If you've recently had a fight, it's a good idea to wait until things calm down and problems are resolved before you reveal your feelings. Don't risk starting the relationship on the wrong foot
Step 6. Make sure your lives are relatively stable
Imagine someone confessing to you that they have a crush on you in the midst of a family tragedy. Even if you have feelings for him, you won't be able to deal with the situation right now. Choosing the right time to step forward is very important to being successful.
Part 2 of 4: Gaining Trust in Yourself
Step 1. Dress well
This does not mean that you should choose trendy or expensive clothes. However, you should take more care of your appearance than you usually do. You don't have to do it so much for the sake of the person you like, but for your own. When we feel beautiful, we are more confident. If that means spending a few extra minutes in the shower or putting on your favorite shirt, do it. Your goal is to do everything possible to find peace of mind.
While increasing self-esteem is the main reason you should look after yourself, it's only natural that the other person will be more willing to accept your advances if you look more beautiful
Step 2. Use body language to show confidence
Having such an attitude is a virtuous circle. Show everyone that you feel confident and by maintaining good posture, looking people in the eye and smiling you will be able to feel even more confident in your means. Even before you meet the person you like, get into the habit of displaying confident body language. In a short time, you should notice a significant change in what you feel.
Step 3. Write a list of reasons why you would be perfect for the person you like
Relationships are two-way and both sides must achieve something. This means that you should have a clear idea of the contribution you can make to a relationship if everything goes according to your plans. Start by writing a list of your best features. Which of these traits are useful in a relationship? Do you love your smile? The other person probably will too. Do you like to laugh? Are you very funny or smart? This is no time to be modest!
- Reflect on the items on the list and imagine how happy you could make the other person. If you know you have so much to offer, you will feel much more confident when it comes time to reveal your feelings.
- If you can't think of anything, try asking a friend what are the characteristics that make you unique.
Part 3 of 4: Making Your Move
Step 1. Stay calm and cheerful
Having doubts greatly reduces your chances of success. If you are unsure of yourself, it shows in the way you behave and your bearing. You will not be able to behave naturally if you are worried about what might happen.
- Take a deep breath to calm yourself down if you feel nervous. You will relieve stress and ease anxiety.
- Positive affirmations also work. For example, try to think something like: "I have nothing to fear. I am worthy of the time of the person I like. Everything will go exactly as I want." Keep repeating these things to yourself until you come to believe them. Even if you feel your chances are slim, positive self-affirmations have a tendency to become prophecies that turn into reality, because the confidence you gain will have a major impact on how things turn out.
Step 2. Ask the person you like to meet you
More and more people are confessing their feelings via the internet or by text. If you have no other choice, speaking through the screen can work, but it limits the importance of the conversation a lot. Since so many signs of attraction are communicated with body language, using digital means would limit the chances of success.
- Invite her out by saying something like, "Hey, I was thinking about going to the beach this weekend. Would you like to accompany me?"
- Don't give too much weight to the proposal; disclosing your feelings doesn't have to be the main reason you meet. If you appreciate each other's company, it won't be strange to see each other.
Step 3. Meet as you normally do
One of the biggest mistakes people make when they want to declare themselves to someone else is giving too much importance to their gesture. If spending time with you is an extremely serious and sober experience, the other person won't be thrilled by the idea of starting a relationship with you, even if they like you.
- An informal outing can range from a visit to the mall or a rock concert, to quieter activities, such as a walk in the park or on the beach. Situations where social interactions are limited, such as cinema, are not suitable for your goal, as you will have very little opportunity to confess your feelings.
- Going to dinner is a very common outing. In this case, the type of restaurant determines the atmosphere. A luxurious and formal choice might seem unusual if you normally avoid overpriced venues. Invite her to a place where you will feel relaxed and comfortable.
Step 4. Look her in the eye
Adopting all forms of positive and confident body language is a very useful strategy for attracting others, but nothing is more important than making eye contact with the person you like when you declare your love. The exchanges of glances make emotions real, thanks to the many messages sent to the subconscious. Also, staring at the other person as you talk to them will make sure you have their attention.
Make a commitment to look the person you like in the eye when they talk to you. Hold her gaze when you reveal your feelings to her. After confession, you can look away, waiting for an answer. This can help her relax as she prepares to replicate
Step 5. Tell the person you like how you feel
Wait until you are completely comfortable with her. This is the moment you have been waiting for for a long time and probably the thought scares you. But don't worry, the act itself is pretty simple. Without taking your gaze from her eyes, tell her how you feel. Express yourself in simple words, so that there is no room for interpretation. If you try to mince words, your message won't be clear. Stay confident and view the experience positively.
If you wish, you can add some reasons why you like her. Use the following examples as a reference: "You know, you probably noticed, but I like you a lot, more than a friend. I hope you feel the same too."
Step 6. Express your feelings non-verbal
One method that works well is to say nothing, because actions are worth a thousand words. While you'll usually still need to reaffirm your statement with verbal confirmation, letting your feelings shine through more subtly is a great icebreaker strategy.
- Physical contact is risky if you don't have this habit, but your chances of success will be higher if you are confident. A light gesture such as taking the other person's hand, or more courageous, such as a direct kiss, leave little room for interpretation and make them understand your interest.
- Gifts can work too, especially if you are a man and you like a girl. A gift is often considered a chivalrous gesture, which definitely goes beyond the limits of a "simple friendship", as long as it is a special object. If you can't think of anything specific, you can buy flowers, but your best bet is to choose something that recalls the unique bond between you and the experiences you have shared.
- Non-verbal means of communicating your feelings should always be accompanied by a verbal affirmation. Don't just take her hand or give her a gift; let her understand why you did it and that you are waiting for an answer.
Part 4 of 4: Carrying the Situation Forward
Step 1. Express your intentions
Now that you've made your feelings known to the person you like, it's time to detail your vision for your relationship. Just telling someone you like isn't everything; if you have plans for the future, you should have regular romantic outings. Describe exactly what you want.
- Try inviting the person you like on a formal first date. You can say, "If you also believe that there is something special between us, maybe you are interested in going out with me sometime? It would be great to have the chance to get to know us better."
- By evaluating how she reacts when you reveal how you feel, you should have a clearer idea of the chances of success in a romantic relationship.
Step 2. Let her answer
The waiting and nervousness you feel before disclosing your feelings to someone is rarely due to the way you think you are doing it, but more often to worry about a possible negative reaction. If you've confessed your love and intentions clearly, the other person probably has an answer for you. Whether it's positive or negative depends on how successful your move is and how she feels about you. Either way, it's important to give her some time to respond.
Always keep calm. Even in the worst case, it is better to remain impassive and show yourself strong, rather than letting your emotions take over. Bursting into tears is never a smart choice
Step 3. If necessary, fix the situation
If you have received an unwelcome response, it is important to remember that it is not the end of the world. As hard as it is to believe, over time you will feel good again and may even realize that it was better this way. In any case, the next step should be to limit the damage. Let the other person know that you still care about their friendship and that you don't want to lose them. If you need to heal emotionally, take some time to do it.
- Remind the person you like that you care about them in different ways and that you don't just care about having a romantic relationship with them.
- For example, you can say, "I know this can change things between us, but I want you to know that I consider you a great friend and that I don't want to lose you, even if you don't reciprocate my feelings."
Advice
- In many cases, if the chemistry between you is good, you won't even feel it difficult to tell the person you like what you are feeling. In some cases it is necessary to clarify things, but don't be surprised if the situation evolves naturally!
- Nobody hates being told that someone likes them! Remember this when you are about to make your move.
Warnings
- It is important to evaluate your chances of success before stepping forward. This is especially true if the relationship you have today is very important to you. Some people don't react well when romantic feelings are built into a friendship, so you should only go for it if you think there is a chance that things are going well.
- When you approach a difficult situation like this, it often happens that you imagine all the ways the conversation can take place. Regardless of whether you have high hopes or very little chance of success, it's not good for you to burden yourself with events that will never actually happen the way you imagined them.
