Being separated from someone you love is always difficult, especially if it's your significant other. While it's normal to miss him, you also need to take care of yourself and your emotional health. To learn how to manage your partner's homesickness, the path doesn't change no matter how long you've been apart. By reworking your way of thinking and keeping busy in your free time, you can continue to think about the person you love and deal with their absence in a healthy and positive way. If you miss someone because they died or left you, find out how you can manage their loss.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Keeping You Busy
Step 1. Spend more time with family and friends
By sitting in the house alone waiting for your partner to return, you will not feel better in their absence and you will probably end up going crazy. Instead, try to spend this time with the people you love. See this distance as an opportunity to review your old friendships. Alternatively, take some time for your best friend to remind him how much you care about your relationship.
- Call a friend and invite him for a coffee.
- Invite a couple of friends over for dinner and cook together.
- Visit your grandmother who lives out of town for a weekend.
- Avoid isolating yourself from people, especially if you are feeling depressed.
Step 2. Spend more time on your hobbies
Most likely there is some pastime that you have had to neglect to be with the person you love or something new that you want to try, for which you have not yet found the time.
- Instead of sitting idle and feeling lonely, take advantage of your free time to finish building a model ship or sewing a dress.
- Start learning a new language using a free application, such as Duolingo.
- Get that book you have long wanted to read.
Step 3. Create a work of art to celebrate your relationship
Use any art or craft tool you like, or try something new. Design a cross stitch pattern with the initials of your names, a story or a quote, or your partner's favorite movie character. Create an abstract representation of your mood using different colors and materials. Create a photo collage with your favorite shots.
- Cross stitch embroidery is a great hobby that helps you pass the time alone because it requires some attention to detail and forces you to count the squares to create the patterns. If this is your first time trying it, choose a simple reason so you don't get frustrated or stressed.
- Go to a home improvement store and buy outdoor acrylic paints and a canvas to paint an abstract picture. Choose shades that express your emotions and use some other material, such as sand or chalk, to enrich the structure of your work.
- If you want to [Make-a-Collage | create a collage], get a blank frame, with or without glass. If the glass is missing, glue the images to a card stock and cover them with mod podge or spray paint to protect them from damage.
Step 4. Write a poem, comic or picture story
Create something special to describe your relationship and send it to your significant other, or set it aside until their return. Use any creative writing medium that can excite you. Put all your energy into creating an extraordinary gift that shows the person you love how important they are to you.
- Write an original poem on a nice piece of paper with a fountain pen. Even better if you decorate the card with your own hands.
- Think of a story describing how you met in a children's book style, complete with illustrations. You don't have to be good at drawing to make an adorable book to give to the one you love. Sketch some simple drawings and add a few more important details to each scene.
Step 5. Cultivate other relationships
Join a book club or movie club. Activities like this offer you the chance to make new friends and get out of the house. They will also keep you busy in your free time with some reading or watching films and documentaries. Plus, you have the opportunity to find a new best friend or even meet another couple you might be dating in the evening.
Step 6. Distract yourself by exercising
When you are feeling particularly sad and do not have the opportunity to indulge in your favorite pastime, get up and go for a run, take a bike ride or go to the gym to do at least 20 minutes of cardio exercise. Physical exertion not only relieves stress and distracts you from what's bothering you, it helps your body circulate endorphins, which act as natural pain relievers and improve mood.
Just 5 minutes of high-intensity exercise can instantly get you in a good mood, but if you train regularly, you can also fight depression over time. Consider physical activity as a natural medicine that the body needs to function properly
Step 7. Complete any unfinished projects
Use your free time to finish some tasks you have left unfinished. It could be something that you started but didn't finish, or that you keep aside until you find the time to complete it. By finishing what is left over, you will keep busy and feel good about yourself.
- Apply silicone around the bathtub, sand and finish your grandmother's old cupboard or attach the mosquito net that swings in the wind to the window.
- Finish writing your storybook, sew those pillows you've saved up the fabric for, or sign up for a pet training class you've been planning to start for some time.
- Paint the bedroom, mount the shelves in the bathroom or continue tending to your garden.
Part 2 of 3: Cultivating a Healthy Relationship
Step 1. Remember that distance is a key part of having a healthy relationship
Whether you live together or not, in order to maintain your independence as a couple, you need to spend some time on your own.
- If you can't stand being apart for a few days, you are probably too dependent on each other and this prevents you from being happy and confident. Remember that you are someone who is worthy and does not need anyone to make sense of their life. Try to think: "My value is inestimable and spending time alone can only do me good."
- By staying apart, you will have the opportunity to miss each other and remind yourself of how important your relationship is. If you never separate, you may start taking the little things you love about each other for granted.
Step 2. Stop worrying about what your partner is doing
Whether it's a nonsense, like watching alone the episodes of the show you watch together, or an infidelity, if you are obsessed with what he does in your absence, you may actually be afraid of being abandoned or hurt. Focus your thoughts on what you can control, which is how you spend your time.
Sometimes it is normal to worry, but such an obsession is a sign of separation anxiety. People suffering from this problem expect the worst from the person they love or always fear that the relationship is coming to an end
Step 3. Call the person you love or hear from them via video chat
If you're too far away to see each other, by setting a time to talk to your partner on the phone, you'll have something nice to look forward to later in the day. In addition, you will both have the opportunity to feel closer despite the distance and to talk about important things.
- Avoid calling or texting too often. Evaluate your relationship, how long you will be apart and how often you usually see or talk to each other.
- If you know your partner is busy, send them an email or message on Facebook instead of texting them, or leave them a voice note instead of calling them. That way he won't have to interrupt his work or get distracted from a family reunion and will have a nice surprise when he gets your message.
- Try to spend some special moments, perhaps watching your favorite show together even from a distance. This way you will feel closer to your significant other and, in addition, you will have ideas for conversation, rather than always telling each other that you miss each other.
Step 4. Try to keep the relationship alive
When you see or hear each other over the phone and over the Internet, make sure you don't do or say the same things over and over. Always plan something new for your evening appointments. Talk about topics you've never discussed before or try to deepen your knowledge.
- If the conversation comes to a standstill, talk about the latest news or an interesting topic you've recently discovered.
- Talk about your childhood: what did you want to be when you grew up? What did you like to do as a child? Which costume did you prefer to wear at Carnival?
- Check out newspapers or websites for ideas on something new to try. Ask friends and colleagues who are engaged or married about what they do with their respective partners for more insights.
Step 5. Plan something special
Consider everything you've never done together or said you want to try. Alternatively, plan a surprise day to spend together and propose something your significant other has always wanted to do. Use your imagination! You could organize a themed day, for example inspired by a romantic movie (like Harry met Sally), or pretend you are in Paris.
- Order some croissants at an outdoor café and stay there for a couple of hours, stroll over a nice nearby bridge and visit an art gallery.
- At lunchtime, go to the park for a picnic. When you get back, go to the florist to buy the flowers you have already seen and plant them together once you get home.
- For example, if you choose the theme of water, you can arrange a visit to the aquarium or the natural science museum, or look for the largest public fountain in the city, prepare some coins and invite your partner to make a wish (first make sure that it is allowed to launch them!). End the day by taking a stroll along a river or to a nearby beach.
- Organize a treasure hunt for your significant other. Write some clues that lead you to the most important places in your history, or prepare some surprises to your liking.
Step 6. Remind your significant other that you love her and that you miss her
Expressing your feelings is the best way to deal with the distance and have a solid and lasting relationship. When you feel like it, tell her you miss her. To feel closer to her, ask her what she is doing and tell her about your day. Remind her that you are grateful to have her in your life.
Part 3 of 3: Channeling Negative Feelings Elsewhere
Step 1. Identify and accept your negative feelings
When you miss your loved one terribly and can't help but think of them, don't try to get them out of your head. Sometimes, the harder you try not to think of someone, the more maddening the nostalgia becomes. Rather, ask yourself why you feel sad or angry; once you understand why, you can find some solutions.
- When you feel homesick, ask yourself: Are you bored, have you had a bad day and want your partner to be around you to talk, do you miss what usually does for you? Go see a movie, call a friend to let off steam, or cook an exotic dish.
- If you are feeling nervous or frustrated, try to understand exactly why these feelings are coming from. Do you feel abandoned, neglected or cast aside? Faced with distance, these may be the most extreme reactions, but they don't necessarily match what your partner feels or thinks.
Step 2. Replace negative thoughts with more positive ones
When you think, "I miss it so much! I can't take it anymore!", Stop and correct this attitude. Try changing your way of thinking in order to fuel more positive feelings. Remember that you can do it and that distance is not necessarily a bad thing.
- If you are continually plagued by the lack of the other person, stop and focus on the present. Don't think "I wish we were together right now", but replace this thought with, "It's nice to have my cat (or dog) all to myself today. Usually always looking for my mate." Replace the feeling of loneliness with the idea that you can make contact with someone or something else.
- If you feel no way out, use rationality to overcome negative feelings. Thinking "I'm not happy when I'm not with him / her" you will surely feel desperate. Instead, learn to control your feelings and choose to do something different to get your spirits back.
- With a little effort it is possible to adopt a cognitive scheme. Whenever you are intent on something or you are immersed in certain thoughts, the brain becomes more predisposed to repeat it.
- It takes time and effort to get used to correcting negativity and focusing on positive thoughts. Therefore, be patient with yourself and don't make it worse by fueling self-criticism.
Step 3. Turn nostalgia and sadness into gratitude
It is normal to miss your loved one: obviously, you prefer to be with her rather than having her away. Instead of being saddened, think about how grateful you feel to have such a beautiful person by your side. List the things you appreciate about her or all the joys she has brought into your life.
- Think about how much you have personally improved since you have been with this person: are you more patient, mature or loving? Have you broadened your horizons and overcome old fears? Are you proud of yourself because you have learned to put love for the people you love before your needs?
- If you decide to focus on what you have rather than what you don't have, it doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to feel the absence of your loved one. It is normal for someone you care to miss.
- Learn to recognize the moments when you feel lonely and want the presence of the one you love, then try to be grateful for the time spent together. Start writing a gratitude journal and carry it with you at all times, so you can immediately write down everything you feel.
