Sympathy involves trying to understand someone's problems from a different perspective than one's own. Even if it is difficult to do, you can support friends and loved ones by learning to express understanding. Follow the steps in this article, keeping doubts or negative reactions to yourself, and you may find yourself spontaneously developing a sense of sympathy never considered before.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Express Understanding
Step 1. Give the other person a chance to talk about how they feel
Offer to hear what they say about what they are feeling or how they are trying to cope with their problems. There is no need to have solutions on hand. Sometimes, a sympathetic ear can be a great help in itself.
Step 2. Use body language to express solidarity
Even while listening, you can show that you pay attention and sympathize with body language. Maintain eye contact and nod every now and then to reinforce your sense of understanding. Keep your body facing the other person instead of to the side.
Don't try to do a thousand things at once and avoid distractions during the conversation. Turn off your phone if possible to avoid any interruptions
Step 3. Offer to talk about your experiences
If you have had similar experiences, perhaps you can help with practical advice or methods to deal with the problem. However, some people are not always ready to listen to the experiences of others. Ask for permission first, saying, for example, "Would you like to know how I dealt with my car accident?".
Step 4. Use proper physical contact
Physical contact can be comforting, but only if it is relevant to the relationship between you and the other person. If you are used to hugging the person who needs understanding, do so. If neither of you feels comfortable hugging, try touching your arm or shoulder quickly.
Step 5. Offer to help with your day-to-day work
Anyone who is having a hard time in their life will likely appreciate some help with their daily tasks. Even if it seems to handle them well, your gesture shows that you are there to help. Offer to bring from a home cooked meal or taken from the restaurant. Ask if you can help by picking up the kids from school, watering the plants, or helping out in some other way.
Give a specific day and time when you offer to do something, rather than asking when the other person is available. That way he'll have one less thing to decide or think about during a stressful time
Step 6. Use religious faith if you are both believers
If you both belong to the same religious belief or have similar spiritual views, use all of this to build a bond with the other person. Offer to pray for her or participate in a religious ceremony together.
Do not refer to your religious views when expressing solidarity with those who do not share them
Method 2 of 3: Mistakes to Avoid
Step 1. Don't pretend to know or understand what others are experiencing
Even if you've been through a similar experience, realize that everyone approaches it in different ways. You can describe how you felt during that experience or suggest ideas that might help, but understand that the other person may be dealing with a different difficulty.
Above all, don't argue that your problems are more serious. If you also feel the need for understanding, find a friend who isn't going through these problems
Step 2. Don't say everything will be fine
Recognize that the other person's problems are real. Focus on listening to her problems and support her along the way, without telling her not to pay too much attention to what she is going through.
Likewise, don't say "at least it's not as bad as it could be". Such a sentence can be interpreted both as a poor consideration of the problems he has confided in you and as a warning to remember further problems present in one's life
Step 3. Don't put pressure on your solution to be used
It is reasonable to suggest a series of actions that you think can help those in need, but don't stress the other person by telling them repeatedly. You probably find this an obvious and easy solution, but you also acknowledge that the other party may disagree.
It urges you to follow the possible solution no more often than once a week and only if you have more information to offer. For example: "I know you don't want to take painkillers, but I've heard of a safer drug that may have less risk. Do you want to know what it's called, so you can do a research yourself?"
Step 4. Don't show envy or irritation
You may think that the other person's problems are minor or less serious than yours. You may also be envious of someone whose problems don't seem so great. This is not the right time to tell them and never look for an opportunity to do so. It is better to say goodbye politely and leave the room rather than express your irritation.
Step 5. Don't act harsh or insensitive
Some people think that using "firmness for good" is an effective therapeutic technique, but it is opposed to acting sympathetically. If someone is in pain or sad for a long period of time, they may be depressed. In this case, you should speak to a doctor or psychotherapist. It probably isn't helpful to try to get him to "bulk up" or "move on".
Step 6. Don't insult the person
It may seem obvious, but during times of stress it's easy to lose control of your emotions. If you find yourself arguing with a vulnerable person, insulting them or criticizing their behavior, leave the room and apologize when you have calmed down.
Don't even joke about insulting someone who needs understanding. He can feel vulnerable and hurt easily
Method 3 of 3: Phrases to Use
Step 1. Recognize the event or problem
Use these phrases to explain why you are approaching the person who needs understanding if you have heard about the problem from someone else. If she started the conversation, respond by acknowledging that the problem is serious.
- I'm sorry to hear this.
- I felt you were having a hard time.
Step 2. Ask the person how they are coping with the problem
Some people respond to stress or pain by keeping busy. They can't manage their free time and reflect on their emotional state. Maintain eye contact and use a few phrases that make it clear that you are asking how she feels, not how everyday life is going:
- How do you feel?
-
How are you coping with all of this?
Be Sympathetic Step 15 Step 3. Express your support
Make it clear to the other person that you are on their side. Also mention friends and family who may be able to support her, reminding her that she has other people to turn to:
- You're in my thoughts.
- Hope I can join your family and friends to help you.
- I will pray for you (only if both of you are believers).
- Let me know if there is anything I can do.
Be Sympathetic Step 16 Step 4. Let the other person know that expressing emotions is not inappropriate
Some people have difficulty expressing emotions or feel they have "wrong" emotions. This attitude is particularly taken by men in different cultures. Use these phrases to say that everything is fine:
- It's okay to cry if you feel the need.
- It is normal to feel guilty (or anger or any emotion the other person has just expressed).
