Role models should inspire, instruct, and lead by example. Whether you're trying to teach your kids about values or show your students how to behave in education, the most important thing you can do is be honest, thoughtful, and consistent. Patterns of life don't have to be perfect, but they have to show that everyone makes mistakes and you have to take responsibility for them. You will be an example of inspiration and education as long as you care for the people who rely on you.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Be a role model for your children
Step 1. Put your teachings into practice
If you want to be an example for your children, then the most important part is consistency. Sure, some rules apply to children and not you - you may not have homework or curfews - but it's important to show how to behave. Your children will draw inspiration from your behavior, so it is necessary to show what you expect to see from them.
- If you tell them to be nice, don't get caught insulting a waitress.
- If you teach them manners, don't talk with your mouth full.
- If you want them to keep their room clean, keep yours clean too.
- If you always ask your kids to eat healthy, show yourself preferring a salad to fries every now and then.
Step 2. Apologize when you make a mistake
Don't pressure yourself to be a flawless and foolproof parent. It's impossible. Things don't always go the right way, and it can happen that you get nervous and say or do something that you regret later. This is perfectly normal. The most important thing is that you acknowledge your behavior and apologize, rather than pretend that nothing has happened. If you misbehave and try to put everything under the rug, your children will think they can do the same.
If you have done something wrong, sit down with your child, look him in the eye and show him your displeasure. Make sure he knows you're serious so he understands how to apologize when he makes a mistake himself
Step 3. Think aloud
Your kids don't have to see you as the person who has all the answers. In fact, you can be much more helpful by showing that you have to work hard to find the right answer in certain situations by thinking aloud and inviting them to participate in the process. When a difficult situation arises, you can weigh the pros and cons with them, and involve them in the decision-making process. This way they will understand that you are human and that when you say "no", you are not doing it categorically, but because you have thought about it. However, be careful not to overdo this concept; you don't want to end up having to explain your reasoning every time, or it could become exhausting and lose its power.
- For example, you can say something like “I would like to let you play with your friends now, but I want you to finish the science project first. Remember the last time you were up all night to finish a project how tiring it was? I want you to get used to working before having fun”.
- When explaining your reasoning to children, make sure they are really listening because they are actually interested.
Step 4. Don't change your mind
Another duty of parents to be a role model is to respect what they say. If you tell your daughter that she can't go out until her homework is done, stick to what you said, or you will look weak. As difficult as it may be, you can't let your kids' apologies, appeals or complaints like "But everyone else can get out!" distract you from your rules and beliefs. Of course, you should always listen to your kids and avoid making rules without thinking about them first, but once you've established something, you need to act accordingly, to earn your kids' respect.
- If your kids see that you don't respect your word, they'll think it's okay to do the same when it comes to saying they're doing chores or coming back at a certain time.
- If you say you'll pick them up at a scheduled time, make sure you're there. If you are late, apologize with conviction. You don't want them to think they can't count on you.
Step 5. Treat everyone with respect, including your children
If you want to be a good example for your children, you need to treat those around you with respect, from workers to neighbors. You can't tell your kids to be nice to everyone and then show yourself spitting on a friend, yelling at a salesperson on the phone, or answering a cashier badly. You also need to be nice to your children, rather than being mean or reckless towards them, because they will surely learn that behavior.
- If they see you treating a waitress badly, for example, they will adapt their behavior and think it is acceptable.
- Even if you have a disagreement with a co-worker, don't let too much into it, especially if you are angry. You don't want them to think gossiping is a good thing.
Step 6. Be consistent
Another thing to do to be a good role model for your children is to be consistent in maintaining order in your home. If a rule is about banning your children from going out and playing with friends until they have done all their homework, then you need to enforce it every time, instead of making exceptions based on how much they want to go out and play. If you tell them they have to finish the vegetables before they eat dessert, don't give up just because they start crying. By making too many exceptions, your kids will get confused and think it's a good thing not to be consistent in their attitude as well.
- That said, there will be occasions when you will need to adapt the rules and make exceptions, in particular situations. That's okay too, and it will teach your kids not to see everything in black or white. For example, if your daughter is having an important prom, it might be a good idea to extend the curfew by a few hours, but only because it is a special occasion.
- If you have a partner, it is important to be united. You don't want to play good cop-bad cop with your partner, and make your kids think they won't have the same answer to their questions.
Step 7. Respect your partner
Your relationship with your partner, if you have one, may be the most important to your child. While there is no perfect relationship, you should show your children that two people can work hard to love each other, compromise, and grow as individuals and as a couple. You may think that your behavior has no effect on your children, especially as a young child, but they will shape their behavior based on what they have seen when they are able to venture into a relationship.
It will happen that you get angry and raise your voice. If this happens, you don't have to ignore it. If you know your children have heard, you can explain that you lost control for a moment, but you are not proud of your behavior
Part 2 of 3: Be a role model for your students
Step 1. Have no preferences
Of course, it can be nearly impossible not to prefer someone over others, in a class with a student who falls asleep or texting all the time than one who hangs on your lips. When it comes to grading, students will be properly assessed, but by interacting with students in the classroom, you will have to do your best to hide your prejudices, to create a positive atmosphere in the classroom.
- Try to encourage all students equally, without praising the best ones too much, otherwise others will feel left out.
- If you neglect a student who didn't make a good impression on you, they won't be motivated to change.
Step 2. Follow your rules
It is quite clear. If you tell students to be on time, don't be late. If you prohibit the use of cell phones, turn off the phone in class. If you tell kids that you don't eat in class, avoid eating a sandwich during class. If you fall into these behaviors, your students will see you as a hypocrite and end up disrespecting you. Furthermore, you will encourage a favorable attitude towards breaking the rules.
If you've broken one of your rules, insist on apologizing
Step 3. Show interest in the subject
Whether you teach organic chemistry or grammar, if you yourself are not interested, nobody will be. You have to show the same enthusiasm for the Punic Wars, the Divine Comedy, fractional equations or whatever the topic of the day is. Your enthusiasm will be contagious and will show students how important it is to take care of what you learn. If you seem bored or fed up with the usual content, students will do the same.
One of your goals as a teacher should be to show students what it feels like to have a passion for something. Your enthusiasm can also lead them to become passionate about your subject, and that would be a great result
Step 4. Admit your mistakes
It is a bit complicated. You want students to see you as the person with all the answers, the keeper of the tests. However, things happen to go wrong - perhaps you forget an important part of the lesson, a question was irrelevant, or you promised to correct your assignments by a certain date and didn't make it. In these cases, you should admit your mistake and start from there. Putting pride aside for 30 seconds will pay off in the long run, because they will see that they too can fail.
Of course, that doesn't mean you have to allow students to question your every move, or analyze every comma of homework to try and raise the grade. Find a balance between admitting mistakes and questioning your every gesture
Step 5. Ask for feedback from former students
While asking a third grader what they think about your programs may not always bring the best results, you can become a better teacher and role model by asking alumni for an opinion on your teaching and programs. If you teach in college, for example, feedback at the end of class can help you do a better job next time, and will show your students that your ideas aren't written in stone, and that you are flexible.
Sure, it's a delicate balance. You need to be aware of what is best for your students, even if it isn't the most fascinating topic, and which lessons are useless, as students learn nothing
Step 6. Be encouraging
As an example, you should encourage your students to do their best and to do more in school. If they struggle, help them after class, give additional materials or in-depth comments on homework to help them improve. When they show improvement, be sure to praise them as they deserve. This technique helps to recognize improvement and shows the possibility of improvement; by routinely encouraging the best students and knocking down those who struggle the most, you will create the false belief that it is impossible to improve.
- To be a good example, you shouldn't make students feel bad about poor testing, or give too much praise to top students. Rather, you should talk about how complex the subject can be and leave room for questions so that students can clarify any doubts.
- Encouraging your students' progress will make you a role model because by giving them a boost to succeed in your class you can also help them apply that determination in other contexts.
- Also keep in mind that unfortunately not all students get help or encouragement at home. By providing a positive role model through encouragement, you can instill hope in the rest of their lives.
Part 3 of 3: Be a role model for your siblings
Step 1. Apologize when you hurt your brother or sister's feelings
It can be very hard to put pride aside, especially when you are used to having control over your siblings. However, if you made a mistake, genuinely hurt their feelings, or just did something you regret now, it's very important to move on and apologize. Not only will you show that you really care, but you will suggest that you do the same in reverse.
Make sure you are convinced and not just because you have been told. You say “I apologize for what I did” rather than “I'm sorry you are angry with me”, to show that you take responsibility for your actions
Step 2. Be the more mature brother
If you want to be an example, you can't be the one who keeps getting nervous, kicking walls, or yelling at parents. Your little siblings want to be like you, and it's up to you to be mature and grow up, instead of acting like a kid. While you may not always be mature and reasonable, you can try to set a good precedent so that your siblings know how to behave. If you're arguing with your sibling, don't lower yourself to his level by giving him nicknames or starting to cry, and rather act more mature.
It can be difficult, especially in the case of a small age difference. Nonetheless, try to be more mature even when you are nervous, and your siblings will try to do the same
Step 3. Show that you are not perfect
If you are an older sibling, you may be convinced that you are a shining and foolproof example to your siblings at all times. As true as that may be in some cases, you should put less pressure on yourself and acknowledge that you are simply human. When you do something bad, you can talk to your sibling about your behavior and explain what you would not do again if it happens again. Whether you've yelled at your mother or misbehaved at a football match, you can tell your brother the story and show repentance.
You don't want to hide any mistakes you make and act like you are always the best, otherwise your sibling will think he always has to do the same when he makes a mistake. In life you always have to learn from your mistakes, and it is important to talk about them with your siblings
Step 4. Involve your siblings in your activities when appropriate
Sure, there will be times when you want to be alone with your friends and leave your little sister at home, and that's fine. However, if you have errands to run, are watching TV or doing something your siblings would gladly do without bothering you too much, then it's important to get them involved if possible. You also want to be a role model for inclusion and family unity, so that your siblings don't choose to exclude you from their future life.
It's also okay to spend time alone, however. Not only is it good for everyone, but spending time alone will show your siblings that they should too, to grow and reflect
Step 5. If you want to do something yourself, explain why
If you want to be left alone for a while or just want to be with your friends, don't just tell your little brother to get away; rather, say something like “I want to spend time alone with my friend Giulia. You wouldn't want me around if you were with your best friend, would you? It's nothing personal and we can play later”. Not only will the relationship be strengthened, but it will show your brother that you can give reasonable explanations to people, without being cruel.
Sure, you'd feel cooler yelling at him to leave you alone and slamming the door, especially with your friends around, but you'd set a terrible example
Step 6. Don't compete
Your little brother is likely to want to talk, dress up and be like you. It can be flattering and adorable, and it just might be something to handle. However, you should avoid creating a competition with him, whether it is about physical appearance, grades or sports skills. You want to be on hand to encourage him to commit, not dissuade him. If you set up a competition in your relationship with your brother, it is likely to continue throughout your life, and can lead to unpleasant situations.
Remember that by being older it is naturally easier to get things done faster and be stronger or more skilled. Instead of continuing to point this out, help your brother improve, and encourage him as much as you can
Step 7. Commit to school
You don't have to be a nerd to set a good example for your brother, but you should try to respect your teachers and the school. If you act like school doesn't make sense, if all the teachers are stupid, and if you don't mind studying for tests or skipping classes, then your siblings will do the same. You don't want to set a precedent where your sibling thinks it's acceptable not to worry about showing up to school or doing well; this way of thinking can affect the rest of your brother's life in a negative way.
On the other hand, if you are an exemplary student while your brother trudges, you shouldn't even show off your grades or trophies. Don't demoralize your brother if he's not on your level. Instead, mentor him and help him study and homework as much as possible
Step 8. Don't pressure your siblings to do something they aren't ready for yet
If they are a few years younger than you, they may be tempted to join you when you smoke a cigarette, drink beer, or do something more "grown-up" with your friends. Your siblings may be desperate for your approval, and you may think it's nice that they help you play a vulgar joke on someone or even break the law, but in reality you are putting them on a dangerous path. If you want to drink with your friends, or do something your siblings aren't ready for yet, don't push them.
