Whether you're arguing about getting a new xBox or trying to get your boss to give you an extra day off, there are a few techniques you can apply. Let wikiHow show you, through a quick tutorial, how to communicate effectively while trying to get what you want. Let's start immediately with step number 1.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Prepare for Success
Step 1. Be confident
Being confident is one of the most important parts of being persuasive. If you are not sure, why should others be? Stand up straight, look people in the eye, smile, and speak in a firm, enthusiastic voice.
Step 2. Know what you are talking about
Do some research. Try to learn everything you can know about the topic you want to address. You won't be convincing if you tell others things that aren't true.
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The source of your searches depends on the topic, but only look for reliable and legitimate sources. It is a good idea to try to investigate every aspect of the subject. Play the devil's advocate with yourself!
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Step 3. Prepare to address their objections
They will likely have some to disprove what you are trying to achieve. Find out what the most common objections are and be ready to fight back effectively.
Step 4. Stay calm
Stay calm and convince them. Seriously, if you start screaming, or get intimidated, no one will listen to you anymore. You will be like a child trying to get attention. Stay calm and keep a friendly tone, and everything will be fine.
Step 5. Develop an emotional bond
Whenever possible, it is good to know your audience before trying to convince them of anything. Develop an emotional bond with it, because if others trust you, it will be easier for them to listen to you. Even if it takes you half an hour, it's worth it.
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Depending on the situation, the way you bond with them changes. A good place to start would be to say "Can I get you a coffee?" While having coffee, try to talk about their life, and the exciting things or challenges they have faced. Offer valid advice and help if you see an openness to you. Do not try to convince the person during this meeting, unless it is something urgent. Meet with her at least a week later, connect with what you said earlier and then start convincing her.
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Method 2 of 4: Discover Your Audience
Step 1. Find out where it comes from
Find out where your audience comes from. Are you from the poor, upper or middle class? Do you live in the city, in the suburbs, or in the countryside? Is he from this country, or is he from another place? Where he works? Our past heavily influences how we perceive different topics, and defines which ones affect us most.
For example, if you are trying to persuade a rich person to buy something that looks like it was made for the poor class, sell it as if it were a "kitsch item" or "an American". To a lower-class person, sell it as a useful tool
Step 2. Try to evaluate what people think about themselves
Do they think they are educated and intelligent? Do they see themselves more emotional, as a hero of their own life story? How they perceive themselves will definitely affect the kind of proof you need to show them when trying to convince them.
- Talk to your audience for a while and do your best to get them talking about themselves. Hear how people describe themselves or what they do. Do they point out that they have a diploma? Do they talk about their involvement in the Church? Are they talking about their children?
- Another trick to understanding how your audience approaches the communication process is to talk about politics. Try to understand how he approaches this topic. This can reveal a lot about the way he thinks.
Step 3. Introduce the topic in a subtle way
Try to insert your idea during the conversation, to understand what your audience is thinking. This can help you understand how it will relate to your idea and how it might react. The more prepared you are, the better.
Try to do it as subtly as possible. For example, if you want to get your wife to buy you a new car, tell her you need her advice for something. Your friend Max wants to modernize his dining room (tell her the price is the same as the new car you want to buy, and that his family's expenses are the same as yours), but he doesn't know how to tell his wife and what she will think. Max asked you for advice but you think your wife might know better than you. How she thinks the other woman will react can help you understand how she will react and what objections she might raise
Step 4. Observe the reactions
When speaking to your audience, observe how they react. Look at people's faces, their body language, and details like their breathing. All of this can tell you what others think.
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Holding your breath indicates expectation, while a long sigh usually indicates surprise. Squinting indicates doubt or displeasure, as does keeping arms crossed. A relaxed body posture indicates little interest or expectation of information, while an upright posture and a leaning of the body towards you indicates special attention. Finger movements indicate nervousness.
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Step 5. If necessary, change your method
If you really want to be convincing, you need to know how to change your tactics at the right time. This involves some practice and flexibility, and being able to predict things before they happen. Being able to react in the right way to the feelings of the listener can make a difference.
Method 3 of 4: Design Your Environment
Step 1. Choose the right time
Choose carefully when to convince them. Let's say you're a salesman - you want to sell someone a sofa while they're looking at a sofa, right? Not while looking at a refrigerator. And you have to seize the moment when he is evaluating several, and not torment him as he tries to make his way back to the exit. Time is everything.
Step 2. Keep your audience interested
A bored audience is not affected. Make sure you keep him interested in the conversation. Provide plenty of opportunities to talk and watch for signs of distraction (check the time, etc.).
- You can play the old teacher's trick to get them to join the conversation. Every so often, ask questions, even something as simple as, "What do you think?" or "What would you have done in this situation?"
- You can also get their attention by making them physically move. Ask them to stand up, look around and say something. Make sure this makes sense in context, and only use this trick every now and then.
Step 3. Create a need
Before you really get into the topic you want to address, let them feel they need what you want to talk about. Even if that's not actually the case, it creates an illusion. For example, if you want to persuade your wife to buy you the PS4, tell her how exhausted or bored you have been lately, and how you fear this could affect your desire to stay home.
Step 4. Demonize the other's objections
Take the most common objections to what you want to achieve and make them look awful and stupid. Make it seem like the worst option, or something that absolutely must be avoided. For example, if you are trying to convince your teacher to increase the reading time in the classroom, show her the statistics that show that only a few children have a home environment that encourages them to read.
Step 5. Speed up the decision
Make sure you communicate to the people that they need to make the decision in a short period of time. If they only have a few seconds or minutes to think about it, they have less time to realize that they disagree with that idea.
Method 4 of 4: Close the Deal
Step 1. Take care of your language
When you convince them, use your language carefully. Use words like "we", "together", "us" instead of words like "you" and "I", "me". This leads the listener to see themselves as a group with a common interest, rather than as separate units.
Step 2. Use evidence
Use evidence when trying to get someone to do something. If you have facts to support your idea, it will be much more difficult for others to counter your opinion.
Step 3. Appeal to their logic
If they are people who value education, intelligence and facts, appeal to their logic when trying to convince them. Use things like "If you don't do (A), then (B) will happen due to (C) and the consequences will be (C, D, E)"
Step 4. Call for their vanity
If they have high self-esteem, use arguments that link to it, showing the negative consequences on them.
Step 5. Help the other party see the reward
Help them see what they will achieve by doing what you want them to do. Show them all the positives until your topic really feels like the best decision to make. Sometimes you will have to be a little creative and spot things that aren't that obvious. Another technique is to ask them what results they would like to achieve by doing that, or what benefits they think they can achieve. Good luck!
Advice
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Here you will find an example of effective communication:
- You: I haven't seen you in a long time. I am happy that we were able to find each other again.
- Friend 1: Yes.
- Friend 2: Absolutely.
- You: This week I worked a lot, I didn't have time to distract myself for a minute. I haven't been to a movie in years.
- Friend 1: What movie are we going to see?
- You: It does the same to me. Heard Departed has some good reviews. What do you want to see?
- Friend 2: It does the same for me too. That looks nice.
- Friend 1: Yeah, it looks good to me too.
- Notice how you made a connection with your friends, made them feel sorry for you in a very subtle way, and then expressed a universal truth. This is the best way to get people to support your position. The key is to never explicitly say you want to see Departed. This is implied. Your opinion was not imposed on them with the expectation that they should fulfill your wishes.
- Stay away from the stats. The more facts and figures you use, the more you will bore people and the easier it will be for them to disagree with you.
- Once a person has their own idea, you won't be able to convince them. Fortunately, most people decide at the last minute. What you can do when a person is already convinced of something is to try to convince their friend so that even if that person disagrees with you, they will be afraid to forcefully assert their idea.
- Don't let others know that you are expressing an opinion. Convince them that you are communicating universal truth to them. Who can disagree with it?
- Don't elaborate on your idea too much. You could make your listener feel insulted and annoy them.
- As a general rule: show, don't tell. Show your listeners why you believe that you believe and why they should too. Don't tell them what you think and why they should believe it. In other words, speak directly, gloss over facts, and speak in vague terms.
- While it sounds ironic, people will agree more with you if you say "Biden is an idiot" than if you say "I think Biden is an idiot", or "Biden is obviously an idiot".
- Empathy is the key to all types of persuasion. Say something and see how people react. If you get a negative reaction, it means you said something wrong. If it's a positive reaction, you've said something right. Pay close attention to whoever listens to you, but don't worry. It really is that simple.
- If you are giving a speech, be confident.
- If you can't get what you want using other methods, try to get the attention of others by saying "If you tell me (A), then I'll tell you (B)."
- I know it's hard to believe, but people will respond better if you say "Can I walk past her, do I have a commitment?" rather than saying "Can I walk past you, am I late for a meeting and in a hurry?" If you share your problems and opinions with others, others will understand what you say as "my life is more important than yours and my opinions are worth more than yours."
- As a general rule, when you verbally attack someone, you need to know how to do it and calmly demonstrate that you feel safe. "Don't" respond to an attack, because it will lead people to believe they are right. The best answer is to say something ironic. This will show that you are comfortable and able to relate to others, and you will make the other seem angry, serious and full of himself.
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Here is an example of ineffective communication:
- You: Okay guys, so what movie do you want to see?
- Friend 1: I think The Grudge 2 is not bad.
- Friend 2: Yeah, I like it.
- You: Oh, yes, I guess that's fine. But I think Departed would be better.
- This person got it all wrong. The first mistake was asking others for their opinion. Not only does this give you a chance to get an idea and express it, but you put yourself in a position to directly contradict them, and that's something people hate.
- Maintain a poetic language. What matters is not what you say, but how you say it.
Warnings
- When you speak in front of a lot of people, especially judges, they will evaluate your vocabulary. So it is good to include some difficult words in your speech, but not too many, or they will think that you used a vocabulary.
- Try not to be too pressing, as otherwise you risk causing them to feel choked and want to contradict you. It is best to try to convince someone you have a friendly relationship with.
- It may be better to adapt your language to the type of people you want to convince; It is natural that different people will have different preferences, so if you want to convince a group of science enthusiasts it will be useful to use a complex word, but make sure they understand it correctly, while when you try to convince a group of farmers, the opposite rule will apply. As a general rule, try to use the same terms and express the same types of thoughts as the listener so they can understand and believe in you.
