While crying is a perfectly normal reaction to relieve tension, express your emotions, or overcome difficult situations, there are times when you just don't want to cry. Regardless of the reasons, holding back tears isn't always easy. However, there are some tricks you can do to distract yourself and avoid crying.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Physical Methods
Step 1. Pinch yourself
Taking light physical pain to distract yourself from the emotional pain can prevent you from crying. Pinch a sensitive area, such as the bridge of the nose or the skin between the fingers. This is a very effective method for many people who don't want to cry.
Step 2. Focus on your breathing
If you pay attention to the natural flow of breath, inhalation and exhalation, you can be able to hold back the tears. You can practice deep breathing by inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth, channeling the air into the abdomen. This is a technique to calm you down and make you feel better, whatever the reason that makes you cry.
Step 3. Try to distract yourself with the cold
This is another remedy for avoiding tears. Put a bottle of cold water or ice cubes on your wrists. Sprinkle some ice water on your face. Anything you can discreetly do to induce a physical sensation is a real distraction from crying.
Step 4. Look up
Some people find that looking up helps to avoid tears, as it is the tears themselves that keep others from coming down. However, this method is not as effective as the others; in fact, once the head is put back in its natural position, the tears will inevitably fall.
Step 5. Change scenario
Go to another room or go outside. The "doorway effect" describes the situation in which forgetting is connected to passing through a front door. This happens because entering a new environment helps you to rebuild a new situation, erasing the old one. This can reduce your anxiety and help distract you, although you won't forget the problem completely.
Step 6. Take a nap
Sleeping regenerates and heals the brain. It allows you to have access to a huge amount of information contained in the brain that you do not immediately remember when you are awake. This phenomenon is known as "activation diffusion," which allows your brain to trace associations that may help you solve the problem.
Method 2 of 3: Long-Term Solutions
Step 1. Learn about the benefits of occasional crying
Know that it's okay to cry and it's healthy too. You shouldn't always hold back the tears. If you can, allow yourself to cry once a week. Watch a sad movie or TV show in the privacy of your home. Allow yourself to feel sad.
- Tears represent a powerful and necessary emotional outlet; they also help eliminate some toxins from the body and can strengthen the immune system. Allowing yourself to cry from time to time can be good for your physical and emotional well-being.
- Crying occasionally can make you stronger. Crying encourages resilience and strengthens empathy, as it is a way of dealing with stress. People generally feel better after a good, liberating cry.
Step 2. Seek support in behavioral therapy
This is a type of therapy where you are taught to recognize negative behavior patterns and to work consciously to change them. If you tend to cry often, this type of therapy can help you find the best ways to manage and overcome emotional stress.
- You can ask your doctor to recommend a psychologist or therapist who follows this approach.
- If you are a student, you can contact the school facilities to find psychological support (in some schools there is a psychologist figure)
Step 3. Be honest about your emotional needs
Frequent crying is often due to an inability to express your emotional needs to close people. Talk to loved ones and tell them when and why you need support. You don't have to be ashamed to ask someone to take the time to listen to your outbursts, hold your hand, and comfort you.
Method 3 of 3: Avoid Emotional Crying
Step 1. Distance yourself from the situation
If you feel that you are going to cry from emotional stress, you can sometimes find it beneficial to take a detached position. If you put some distance between yourself and what generates stress, then you can stop the tears from flowing out.
- If you are about to cry during a heated argument with a friend, family member, or partner, then let the other person know that you need to calm down. You can just say you "need a minute" and leave the room. Go for a walk, read a book, or do whatever else distracts you a little from the growing emotions.
- If you are at school or work, leave the meeting or class and run to the bathroom. If possible, take a short five-minute break. Go back to the office, to your desk and just breathe for a few moments.
Step 2. Find distractions
You can't always leave the room when you feel the tears are about to pour. If you can't leave the meeting or class, try to distract yourself from the emotional distress.
- Take notes. They don't have to be relevant to what's happening. You can write the lyrics of a song, a poem, draw squiggles or anything else that allows you not to think about the present.
- Use your cell phone. If you are allowed, then the cell phone helps you not to think about the moment. Surf the internet and find a funny web page. Check your Facebook profile or send a message to a friend.
Step 3. Talk to yourself
If you learn to use "internal language" to emotionally center yourself, you can avoid crying when you get too angry. You can think of a positive phrase or the words of a song to calm yourself down.
For example, you might think of a phrase your grandmother used to say, like, "If life gives you lemons, make yourself a lemonade
Step 4. Allow yourself to feel anger
People often use crying to convey frustration and distress. This is not necessarily conscious behavior. The chemicals released in the tears are able to calm an attack and can be a means of defense. However, when you are treated disrespectfully, it is more effective to feel and express anger than to cry.
- Let's say, for example, that you show up for your appointment with the doctor, but he is absent. You have a very busy schedule and today is the only day you have time for your annual checkup. Upon your arrival, the doctor is not there and at the reception they inform you in an unkind manner that he has forgotten to inform you that the appointment has been canceled. In such a situation, you may be tempted to cry out of frustration, but you should instead express your anger.
- Show that you are firmly angry but without being too aggressive. Don't scream at the front desk staff and don't start screaming by making a scene in the doctor's office. Instead, try to point out how rude the doctor's behavior was and how annoying you are. Ask for another appointment based on your needs. In this way you expressed your irritation directly and were less tempted to unconsciously face the situation with tears.
