Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) impairs thoughts and behaviors by making you feel strange or different. If you feel like you can't control what you think, you may begin to feel ashamed that you have obsessive-compulsive disorder. You probably want to stop your thoughts, but you don't know how, or you feel embarrassed by the way your psychopathology affects your relationships or the people around you. These worries can affect how you relate to others or lead you to believe that a part of you shouldn't be shown to those around you. You may even be ashamed of the more violent or sexual thoughts fueled by the disorder, because they don't match the values you believe in. It is not easy to manage the feelings of shame produced by OCD, but there are various ways to overcome it, for example by processing everything you think and feel, seeking the support of other people and consulting a therapist.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Processing Thoughts and Feelings
Step 1. Identify the sense of shame
Shame can arise when you feel inadequate, underappreciated, or inferior to others. It can lead you to believe that you do not deserve any kind of love, luck and happiness, because you believe that there is something fundamentally "wrong" with you. As a result, you feel lonely and tend to isolate yourself. However, the less you talk about this problem, the more your life may be affected.
Shame can lurk in these kinds of thoughts: "You are always uncomfortable. You never succeed in what you do. Who could possibly love you?"
Step 2. Recognize the effects of shame
Shame is not productive, it often leads people to engage in destructive and dysfunctional behaviors. Essentially, it prompts you to believe that there is something wrong with you that you cannot improve. If on the one hand the sense of guilt can be a catalyst that causes you to grow and change, on the other hand, shame can make you sink into an abyss of negative emotions from which you seem to have no escape.
By recognizing the burden that shame places on your life, you will realize how it affects you. So, to begin to question the sensations it causes, it is important to identify it. Keep in mind that if you don't fight it, you won't be able to cope with OCD. Each of us has our problems and worries nor can we live a life away from anguish. OCD is a treatable disorder. By being ashamed of a problem you are experiencing, you risk hindering your progress in managing this disorder
Step 3. Question negative thoughts
The shame you feel about suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder can affect your thinking so much that it feeds on itself. Therefore, to overcome it, you must commit to changing your thoughts. For example, you might think "No one will ever love me because I have this secret that I can't share with anyone" or "If anyone knew about my OCD problems, I would have no friends and I would be alone." Admit to yourself that harmful thoughts can foster a sense of shame and are not true at all.
- To deal with them, first learn to recognize them by saying, "Here's a negative thought." Then question it, thinking, "Is this true? Is it correct? Is it rational? Am I generalizing? How would I respond to a friend if he thought this about himself?"
- Once you've questioned those thoughts, replace them with more positive or rational ones. For example, you might say, "Even though OCD can upset people when I talk about it, a true friend is willing to support me through difficult times."
Step 4. Keep a journal
You will likely be reluctant to tell others what you feel, however a journal can help you express and better understand the sense of shame, but also help you overcome the discomfort you feel about having obsessive-compulsive disorder. Essentially, it will allow you to clarify your thoughts and feelings. Also, when you reread what you have written, you will be able to reflect more clearly on your life.
- Use your journal to analyze feelings of shame. Topics to address might include: "What makes me ashamed? When am I ashamed of being obsessive-compulsive? What prevents me from telling people I have this disorder? How have I handled sense in the past? of shame? What can I do to feel better when I am ashamed? ".
- Also, try using the diary to keep track of your symptoms on a daily basis. In this way, you will be able to trace everything that feeds your sense of shame and understand how to manage it.
Step 5. Deal with the trauma related to the disorder
In some cases, OCD symptoms occur following trauma. Therefore, examine your symptoms and ask yourself if they started at a time marked by a traumatic event or if your compulsions are related to trauma. For example, if you have been hit by a car while walking, you may compulsively check passing cars, avoid crossing the street when there is traffic, or count your steps as you cross it. While OCD symptoms can be annoying, you need to keep in mind that they are actually triggered by the trauma you have been through.
If there is unresolved trauma, see a therapist to rework it and relieve symptoms of OCD. If you do not overcome it, no cognitive therapeutic approach will be effective against OCD
Part 2 of 3: Creating a Supportive Climate
Step 1. Talk to friends and family
Out of fear or shame, you will likely tend to hide OCD from the people around you. You may also have fears or doubts about your relationship and decide to end it in case the other person learns about your problem.
Talk about your condition with someone you trust. Tell her what fuels your fear or shame. It will not be easy, but you will feel more relieved when you have given vent to what is inside. You may also find that sharing secrets and experiences is not as difficult as you imagined and that there is someone willing to support you
Step 2. Don't isolate yourself
The shame can be so strong that it pulls you away from people. You will probably find it difficult to be in the company of others, perhaps you will be afraid of going out or being among people. These feelings can fuel shame and isolation. However, this way you will not be able to handle the most difficult emotions and risk aggravating the symptoms of OCD.
- Make an effort to spend some time with friends and family. If they are far away, call or make a video call to keep in touch with them.
- To feel less alone, try adopting a pet. A dog can provide you with the company you need and help reduce anxiety.
Step 3. Relax
By getting into the habit of practicing some relaxation exercises, you can relieve anxiety and increase the feeling of calm and well-being, but also soothe negative feelings, such as shame. Therefore, try to adopt some relaxation techniques and incorporate them into your daily routine for longer lasting results.
Practice relaxation exercises at a specific time. Start with 10 minutes and gradually increase the duration as needed. If you want to try different relaxation techniques, consider qi gong, yoga, or meditation
Step 4. Join a support group
Find a support group for people with OCD. You could go to a mental health center in your city or do a search online. It will give you the opportunity to get to know other people and understand that you are not the only one suffering. Often, support groups are led by people with a disorder or mental health professionals and their goal is to connect people who have the same problems with each other.
You may find other people who are feeling the same sense of shame as you and, therefore, offer you advice on how to manage it
Part 3 of 3: Seek Professional Help
Step 1. Work with a therapist
Sometimes the best treatment is not limited to just treating the symptoms of OCD. Thoughts can haunt people so much that they cause considerable discomfort. A therapist can help you cope with depression, shame, and guilt.
Although the main goal of psychotherapy is to teach the patient to manage OCD, it is necessary that the latter also learn to deal with the moods induced by the disorder
Step 2. Develop a gradual shame exposure program
In collaboration with the psychotherapist, try to hierarchically classify the situations or beliefs that feed your shame, starting from the simplest to the most complicated. Your therapist will help you deal with and emotionally process any obstacles that trigger this unpleasant feeling when you think you have obsessive-compulsive disorder. Exposure can make emotional reactions and feelings of shame less intense and make you realize that you can handle the most difficult thoughts and feelings.
For example, you may be ashamed of several things, such as eating in front of your family and preparing food on your plate, doing simple chores in front of others, and thinking about using violence against your brother. At this point, arrange the situations in order of severity, then discuss with the therapist
Step 3. Get drug therapy
OCD is often treated with medication, because it can lessen the severity of symptoms, reduce the thoughts caused by the disorder, and consequently, ease the sense of shame. Consult your doctor or psychiatrist to inquire about drug options. An antidepressant treatment is usually prescribed first, although some people feel better on taking antipsychotics. Your doctor can let you try different medications so you can find the best solution for your needs.
It is impossible to find a drug that makes all the symptoms of obsessive compulsive disorder go away without causing side effects. Therefore, when considering a drug treatment, pay attention to the possible side effects and risks associated with taking, always consulting your doctor
Step 4. Consider family therapy
Family therapy allows families to better understand OCD and react more effectively to the needs of the affected person. Especially if the latter lives in a family context, it can be difficult for all members to understand each other and live in harmony. Family therapy can help contain conflicts and raise awareness of the disorder, of living with this problem and of the help each member could offer.
Children with obsessive-compulsive disorder appear to benefit enormously from family therapy
Step 5. Try group therapy
OCD can make you feel lonely and isolated, like you are the only person with this problem. Group therapy allows you to fit into a community of like-minded people. It serves to give support, develop relational and emotional skills and reduce isolation.
