It has already happened to you a million times. You walk down the street and you are fine. Suddenly a small interaction with a stranger or friend starts a random thought and in that moment you feel yourself sinking into despair. Or maybe it happens when you're hanging out with friends and someone makes an inappropriate comment, which triggers deep anger. If you often find yourself facing mood swings that are difficult to control, now is the time to take action.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Changing Your Perspective
Step 1. Try to be more optimistic
Mood swings are often associated with constant expectations of unpleasant events, or, in other words, negative thinking. Example: You are waiting for an answer for a job interview, but if they don't call you back the next day, you immediately think it went wrong and they won't hire you. If your mother asked to speak to you, you would immediately think she is on her deathbed. This way of thinking can make you deeply angry or saddened for no real reason, and often leads to completely wrong conclusions. You can try two different techniques to deal with this dangerous automatic thinking:
- Take a step back and relax. Instead of thinking about the worst case scenario, imagine all the possible ones. This way you will find that the ugliest one is unlikely to occur, and you will have no reason to worry.
- Alternatively, you can think about what would happen if everything went wrong and prepare for that eventuality. By making sure you're prepared for even the worst-case scenario you can imagine, you can focus your attention on something else instead of lingering on the unpredictable consequences.
Step 2. Avoid generalizing
Generalizing too much is another way to get in a bad mood. Did you have a bad exchange with a colleague? Did your date go wrong? Who cares? You may think you will never be able to find true love, or that you are about to be fired, but these are just generalizations. You don't have to believe that a single event affects your whole life. These kinds of beliefs can make you moody and sad, but there is a way out of it.
Remind yourself that what happened was an isolated incident. A single event does not reflect an entire relationship with a person, so consider it a rare exception. Remember all the moments of success you have experienced in similar contexts, both in love life and at work. You will find that there is no need to worry
Step 3. Stop seeing the world in black or white
Thinking only in extreme terms, or "black or white" (eg perfect or disastrous, beautiful or ugly, etc.) leads to mood swings and sudden changes in affect.
- Focusing too much on one outcome (as opposed to another) can greatly limit your ability to get involved in ideas and emotions that come from interactions with the world. If you persist in maintaining this pattern of thought, you will see only two aspects of life: happiness and sadness, success and failure, beauty and horror, and you will lose the opportunity to live many other experiences.
- Remember that the world has many shades and that there are a number of possible intermediate degrees between perfect success and total failure.
- You may not have been able to close your last deal. Does this make you a clueless in terms of business? Absolutely not. You have a history of successes and even some failures behind you, but that makes you a well-rounded person.
- If something doesn't go your way, consider it an experience. Didn't get the job you wanted? It doesn't mean you're not good, but that you will find a better opportunity out there. The world is big and the possibilities are endless! Don't let one - or even many - rejections mark you and ruin your mood.
Step 4. Learn to laugh at yourself
One of the most important things to learn is to step back and laugh at yourself. People with mood swings often take themselves very seriously and fail to practice self-irony, or even laugh at their own misfortunes. You have to succeed if you want to control yourself, otherwise you will let any nonsense bother you and get you down.
Let's take an example. You're taking a walk, headed to the house of the person you're on a date with. Suddenly a bird dumps guano on your head. You can start to feel anger, annoyance, frustration, or you can take a step back and think "how likely is that to happen?", Or "well, at least it will be a fun story to tell …". There are obviously some situations you can't laugh at, but for all the others a little lightness can help you stay strong and allow you to control your mood
Step 5. Think objectively about your situation
Take a step back and think. You may have to stop and change your expectations to reflect the state of affairs. In some cases you may feel in a bad mood because you had to go around for 15 minutes looking for a parking space. While it may seem like the end of the world right now, take a moment to think about what's really bothering you. Is it really weird that the supermarket is full just before dinner time? Something silly like having to look for parking makes you angry because a colleague of yours made a rude and unmotivated comment earlier? Ask yourself if, with a broader perspective, your problem is really that serious. It may be, but in most cases you will be getting lost in a glass of water.
- We often let ourselves be dominated by negative emotions without asking ourselves what their source is. While understanding that there is no logical reason for your mood may not help you change it, it can calm you down and realize that things are not as bad as they seem to you.
- Think of your situation as if you were another person. What would you tell yourself to do? Would you think the situation you are in is really that bad?
Part 2 of 4: Controlling Mood Swings When They Occur
Step 1. Know when to leave
It is important to understand when your emotions take over - in that moment the best thing to do is to leave the context in which you are. If you start to feel anger, resentment, hatred, or other negative emotions and find that you can't control your actions or words, then it's time to apologize and say goodbye. You can even walk away without saying anything. While this isn't ideal, it will keep you from saying or doing something you may regret.
- If you are in the middle of an argument and find that you are particularly overexcited, try to walk away by saying, "with permission, I need to think for a moment." Go to a quiet place and think about what just happened.
- After moving away, you will return to breathing normally and regain control of your thoughts, thus acquiring a more rational perspective on the situation. Then you can consider whether to return to the situation or to the conflict.
Step 2. Take a five minute break
Sometimes you just need to press pause and calm down for a few minutes. When you feel emotions build up after an e-mail exchange or an unpleasant incident at the grocery store, stand still for five minutes, focus on your breathing and wait until the anger subsides. Remember that there is no shame.
- Try counting to 10 and breathing during the break. The old trick of counting to 10 before doing something works, because it distracts you and creates a pause between the incident and your reaction, allowing you not to be dominated by emotions.
- In some cases it will be enough for you to change your environment. You've probably been locked up in the office for too long, you should go out and get some fresh air. You may have had to drive from one place to another all day and you really need a little rest. Taking a break can positively affect your mood no matter what situation you are in.
Step 3. Talk to a friend about it
If you're in a bad mood and can't recover, sometimes it's best to talk to a friend about it. You will feel better when you free yourself from the burden of anger, sadness or frustration, and you won't feel alone while doing it. Knowing that you have someone by your side in the most difficult times can help you control mood swings, because you will be comforted by having someone who can help you and give you advice.
Remember that if you always call someone when you are sad, only complaining about your condition, you could make it worse. Get to know yourself and understand if it's the best decision or not
Step 4. Find a routine that will calm you down
Everyone has a personal strategy for calming down. You have to experiment a bit to figure out which one suits you best. Some people just need a walk to clear their minds. Others like to relax with a cup of tea or chamomile tea. Still others listen to classical or jazz music, or spend some time with their pets. Find the activity that calms you the most and that allows you to control your emotions. Then find a way to achieve this calm state when you have one of your mood swings.
When you notice that your mood is changing, try to do what you can to calm down. It is often not possible to have at hand what calms you or makes you happy, but you have to try your best. If a herbal tea relaxes you, keep a bottle on your office desk. If, on the other hand, it is your cat that makes you find peace, keep a photo of him on your phone, in this way he can make you smile wherever you are
Step 5. Think before you speak
This is another important rule for controlling mood swings. During an attack, it can happen that you say something that worsens the situation and the mood of the people around you, something that you may regret. When you realize that you are losing control, take a moment to ask yourself if the things you are about to say can improve your situation, or if there is another way to better express your thoughts and achieve your goals. Often, it only takes a few seconds of reflection to regain control of yourself.
Saying something without thinking twice can cause reactions that end up exacerbating the situation and, as a result, can worsen your mood
Step 6. Eat something
It may sound silly, but a lot of people get angry, annoyed, and short-tempered just because their blood sugar is low. Recent research suggests that basic physiological needs (such as hunger) can change our point of view. Ignoring basic physiological needs can make us feel threats not present in the social environment, or make us attach too much importance to trivial things.
- Ask yourself when you last eaten something and you may find that you have missed a meal. If your mood starts to go crazy, grab a healthy snack, like an apple, a handful of almonds, or a yogurt and that way you can calm down.
- It is always best to be prepared to avoid such situations. Always carry a banana, a cereal bar or a sachet of dried fruit with you so as not to go hungry during the day.
Step 7. Go for a walk
Very often it helps people to overcome their bad mood. A simple 30-minute walk to get some fresh air can relieve stress, reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease, heart attacks, obesity, and even some cancers.
- You should take at least one walk a day, and take a stroll as soon as you feel your mood is changing. Focus on the rhythm of your body and your breathing, you will find that you avoid one of your mood swings.
- It may be that you feel in a bad mood because you have been locked in the same room all day, constantly thinking about your problems. A nice walk will help you see other people living their day, and this will allow you to understand that there is a world outside of you and your problems.
Step 8. Keep a journal
Journaling can help you keep your mood in check and think about how to avoid becoming too emotional in some situations. You can write about your day and mention when you were feeling happy and when you were upset, anxious, frustrated or had other emotions. You may notice that you have a tendency to be sad in the evening, or when you are around some people. Taking notes on what you think and feel can make you become more aware of your mood and help you control it.
Try to journal at least once every two days. This will help you develop a routine where you need to sit and think, instead of acting
Step 9. Find a way to manage the triggers of your mood swings
We all have a weak spot, which makes us explode if touched. Find out which one is yours and learn to deal with it. If your mood swings are caused by something you can avoid, like an annoying friend or a particular area of town, then it will be easier to deal with. Unfortunately, this is not always the case and, very often, it is necessary to deal with what brings us down. This is why it is important to be able to manage these triggers, so that you have more control over your mood as they arise.
- If sitting in traffic makes you nervous, put on a classical or jazz CD. If a colleague annoys you, learn to avoid it. As with physical activity, the important thing is to know your limits and not push yourself too far.
- If you can't avoid your trigger - because it's your boss, for example - go through one interaction at a time. Try to analyze each interaction within its context, remembering what you can and cannot control. If your boss is always rude and puts you in unpleasant situations, you should explore options that can help alleviate the situation, such as finding a new job, talking to their manager, or letting the person know your views directly. But remember that only YOUR actions are in your hands and you cannot control what others do or say.
Part 3 of 4: Maintain a more balanced lifestyle
Step 1. Get enough sleep
One of the many reasons people find it difficult to control their mood is a lack of sleep. If you often can't get enough sleep, you will end up feeling lethargic, irritated, and losing control of your body and mind. Although the hours of sleep needed to stay healthy vary from person to person, on average it takes 7 to 9 hours. When you figure out how many you need, don't change your habits and make sure you go to bed and wake up around the same time..
You may not notice that you suffer from lack of rest from all the caffeine you take to counter sleep. You will feel better if you reduce your caffeine intake and increase your sleep hours
Step 2. Reduce your stress
While many of the steps in this section can help you reduce stress, the first step is simply to be more aware of your stress levels so that you can take steps to reduce them. Our emotions act as indicators, and they let us know when something is physically or psychologically wrong, so it is important to think about which things generate the most stress, anxiety or anger, and how to deal with them. You can use various techniques to reduce stress levels and improve mood.
- If your schedule is full, take a look at the calendar and sort through your schedule to eliminate unnecessary ones. Research has shown that spending less time with friends and family than desired leads to higher stress levels and less efficiency at work. For this it is essential to dedicate enough quality time to friends and family.
- If one of your relationships is causing you stress, then you will need to fix it. Whether it's an argument with your parents or a misunderstanding with your partner, the sooner you talk about it, the better.
- Take more time to relax. You can do yoga, hang out with friends, take a hot bath, or try meditation. Meditation, for example, is a particularly simple activity to practice and has been shown to reduce blood pressure and relieve symptoms of anxiety and depression.
Step 3. Avoid getting too much caffeine
If you are one of those people who drinks three to four cups of coffee a day, know that you are contributing a lot to your mood swings by increasing anxiety and blood pressure. However, there are those who do not feel bad even after four cups, and those who feel nervous after one. If you think caffeine is responsible for some of your mood swings (if you find, for example, that most of them happen after caffeine intake), it's time to make an effort and cut down on your intake of coffee. You will be surprised when you find that you feel your life in control again.
- You could go from coffee to tea. Some people are less affected by the caffeine in tea than in coffee. Even among teas, green teas typically contain less caffeine (about half) than black teas, so you may need to experiment with different types to find the one that works best for you.
- You could also try drinking coffee or tea more slowly. Drinking a full cup of American coffee in less than ten minutes makes you more vulnerable to mood swings.
- You should also avoid energy drinks. These drinks make you feel nervous and can cause mood swings even in people who don't usually suffer from them.
Step 4. Avoid consuming too much alcohol
More than a glass of red wine a day can contribute to mood swings. Drinking alcohol, especially before going to bed, can make you sleep poorly and wake you up tired and irritable. Also, since alcohol is a depressant, drinking could make you more vulnerable to mood swings. Keep your alcohol intake to a minimum or eliminate it completely from your diet.
In addition to avoiding alcohol, you should also avoid illegal drugs. They can make your mood swings worse as well as cause a host of other physical and psychological problems
Step 5. Exercise
Get in the habit of exercising regularly. This can help you burn off excess energy and find an outlet for your emotions. Thirty minutes of exercise a day won't allow you to get rid of mood swings, but it will help you control your body and mind. In addition, the exercise allows the mind to remain calm and distract you for some time. It is important to note that physical activity produces real physical and emotional benefits, including the reduction of stress and blood pressure.
Find a routine or schedule that works for you. You can try running, yoga, dancing, swimming, or other physical activity. If you are a beginner, start at a low intensity. Do what you can without overdoing it so you don't get injured. Slowly pick up the pace as you feel more comfortable
Step 6. Find a relief valve
You need something that helps you channel all your negative emotions. Some of the best outlets are hobbies and passions. Try photography, poetry or pottery. Any activity that allows you to feel at peace with yourself and get away from the difficulties of the day is perfect. This does not mean that you can "escape" from your mood swings but you can at least try to minimize them by reserving time to spend doing something you love and enjoy.
- Your outlet doesn't have to be something creative or something that requires talent. It can also be a form of exercise or volunteering, or a passion for classic cinema. Look for something suitable for you.
- It can also be something you can indulge in when you feel stressed or have a mood swings. For example, if you start feeling low, you can try writing a poem or doing another activity of your choice.
Step 7. Spend time with friends and family
Socializing can help you control your mood swings and make you feel satisfied and happy. While some of these social interactions may be the cause of your disorder, spending time with the people you love and make you happy can calm you down and relax. It can also make you feel less isolated and sad, especially if you have depression. Make it a goal to go out with friends at least a couple of days a week, you will feel happier and more stable.
It is also important to set aside some time for yourself. When a person finds that they have no time for themselves and that they are overwhelmed with their commitments, they are more prone to suffer from mood swings. Make sure there is time on your agenda for you. You can decide for yourself what to dedicate it to: you can write a diary, take a walk, or just sit in silence and think about the week
Step 8. Eat a balanced diet
It will help you find physical and mental balance. Eat at least 5 servings of fruit and vegetables a day, avoid consuming excessive carbohydrates and processed foods. Getting the right amount of healthy carbohydrates, proteins, fruits and vegetables throughout the day can help you feel more balanced and keep you from experiencing mood swings. Here are other foods that can help you:
- Omega-3 fatty acids. This valuable nutrient is contained in foods such as salmon and soy.
- Folic acid. Get the appropriate weekly amount of folic acid from leafy vegetables. Studies show that depressed people get little folic acid.
- Proteins. You need to eat eggs, fish, turkey breast, tofu and other proteins to keep your body from getting stuck. Make sure you balance protein with a good dose of healthy carbohydrates.
- Watch out for juices and cocktails. Only some are 100% fruit juices, so they are generally too high in sugar or you just don't need them. Additionally, these fruit juices may not be as nutritious and lacking in the chemicals contained in the actual plant as to have any effect on your mental well-being or they could make the situation worse.
Step 9. Incorporate herbs, vitamins and supplements into your daily routine
Some herbs, vitamins, and supplements can improve your mood, although it's important to note that experts don't have a unanimous opinion on the potential beneficial effects of herbs and other supplements. In general, more research is needed to confirm the effectiveness of these remedies. Remember to always check with your doctor before taking herbal supplements. Here are the most used products to improve mood:
- Take St. John's wort or St. John's wort. It is one of the herbs most often prescribed to improve mood. They are plants with yellow flowers, which contain many medicinal substances. Remember that you have to consult a doctor before taking this herb, as it can have negative interactions with other medications you may be taking, such as birth control pills, antidepressants, blood thinners, and HIV medications. St. John's wort comes in many forms, including capsules, tablets, liquid extract, and herbal teas. A typical dose of the product ranges from 900 to 1200 mg per day, and should be taken for at least 1-3 months for best effects. Consult your doctor or homeopath for specific dosage recommendations for you.
- Take SAMe (S-Adenosyl methionine), a substance derived from an amino acid available in protein sources, widely studied and used in Europe to improve mood. Medicines with SAMe are usually taken in tablet form and the most used doses in clinical trials range from 800 to 1600 mg per day, for up to six weeks. While SAMe has few side effects, you should be careful if you have pre-existing medical conditions, such as diabetes, low blood sugar, or anxiety problems.
- There are other vitamins and herbs that may help you control mood, but there is far less evidence to support the effectiveness of these substances than for the first two products mentioned. Lavender, for example, is widely used in aromatherapy, as an essential oil and as an herbal tea to promote relaxation and relieve anxiety. Some people have had good results taking valerian root for better sleep and anxiety management. You might also consider taking a multivitamin supplement to ensure you are getting adequate levels of vitamin B, which can help stabilize the nerve cell membrane. While little evidence supports this view, at least one study has reported benefits following treatment of seasonal affection disorder with vitamin D.
Part 4 of 4: Determine the Causes
Step 1. Understand that the causes of mood swings can be many
No one has a completely stable mood on all occasions. A bad day at work or a fight with a friend can affect your mood. However, if your mood swings are frequent and particularly extreme (you quickly go from very good to very bad moods) and have no obvious direct cause (you had a great day, with no unpleasant interactions), they could be a symptom of a more serious physiological or psychological condition.
- For example, if you always feel tempted to cut off cars when you drive, or you are always angry with colleagues and can't get your job done, you may have problems to solve in some areas of life.
- It is important to note that there are many potentially serious physical and psychological conditions associated with mood swings. For this reason, it is important to speak to your doctor so that he can analyze your case. The precise causes of your fluctuations will also determine the best course of action to resolve the problem.
Step 2. Learn about the physiological conditions that can contribute to mood swings
Some conditions are associated with noticeable changes in mood and affect. They are conditions that result from factors such as lifestyle, such as diet or lack of exercise, age, hormonal conditions, or drug side effects. Ask your doctor for advice to learn about these conditions and evaluate whether they are related to mood swings. Some of the most common include:
- Head trauma or brain tumors - brain damage can affect hormone regulation, causing negative effects on mood and emotions. See a doctor right away if you suspect these may be the cause of your problem.
- The media content we use for entertainment - the music we listen to or what we watch on TV can easily cause mood swings. In the worst cases, the affected individual is prone to nausea or passes out, vomits, or quickly becomes hostile. For some people, even flashing red lights can cause seizures. After watching movies or television series about paranormal activities or things involving "spirits", many people become extremely irritable.
- Allergies - Having any allergy can cause a person to have a sudden mood swings. If a person is exposed to even the sight, sound, smell or taste of a trigger, that person will suddenly go from a calm to an anxious state of mind.
- Artificial fragrances - many of the chemicals used in many fragrances in products such as detergents or in scented decorations such as candles, car items, colognes, soaps and perfumes cause allergies that cause mood swings. Such chemicals also include benzene derivatives, aldehydes, phthalates and a slew of other known toxins that companies may hide under the term "fragrances". These chemicals are known to cause nervous system disorders that can build up to cause mood swings as well as other mental and emotional health problems.
- Poisoning by foreign materials - the chemicals contained in the food we eat, the materials with which the buildings we work and live in are built, infections of the past, poison from animals, can cause mood swings. Lead and any chemicals that affect the brain are the biggest culprits. Doctors can use a variety of clinical tests to determine whether or not a foreign material is causing emotional stability problems. These problems can also be a side effect of some medications.
- "Dementia" - all forms of dementia are linked to important psychological and physiological changes, which can drastically alter mood and affect. If you are over the age of 40 and have other symptoms, such as severe memory loss, see your doctor.
- Pregnancy - pregnancy can cause immediate and permanent changes in hormone levels and brain functioning. These, consequently, can cause severe fluctuations in mood or emotions. Even with unsuccessful pregnancies, mood swings can continue due to the hormonal, biological and physiological changes that accompany pregnancy and postpartum. Consult your doctor if pregnancy may be the cause of your mood swings.
- Puberty - as you enter adolescence, the rapid changes in your biological and social status can cause mood swings and changes in affections and desires. It is important to understand these changes and to see them as natural growth symptoms. In the most serious cases, however, if for example your health or that of others are at risk, you should contact your family doctor.
- Menopause - similar to other changes in your life, menopause can also cause severe mood swings and changes in desires and affections. If the situation becomes unmanageable, consult a doctor.
- Constant Stress - Constant stress from daily activities can overwhelm people in some cases. This can cause mood swings. In these cases, it is best to address the source of stress as soon as possible to avoid long-term brain changes that can result from experiencing a constantly stressful environment.
- A disease or infection -
Step 3. Learn about the psychological and social conditions that can contribute to mood swings
Researchers have found that many psychological or social disorders are associated with severe mood swings. These disorders often have a biological component, similar to those mentioned above, but can be solved more effectively by addressing the psychological or social needs of life. To assess the likelihood that these disorders are related to mood swings, it is advisable to consult a psychiatrist or other mental health professional, such as a psychologist. These conditions include:
- Substance abuse - the abuse of any substance has the potential to alter brain chemistry and hormone levels in unpredictable ways. If you've had similar problems in the past, or have them in the present, don't hesitate to seek help from a professional or support group.
- Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Syndrome (ADHD) and Attention Deficit Syndrome (ADD) - psychological disorders related to inability to pay attention have been associated with mood swings.
- Bipolar Disorder - Bipolar disorder is characterized by rapid mood swings, particularly from extreme happiness to utter despair, in situations that would not typically generate such reactions. A person with this disorder might, for example, feel incredibly happy after receiving a compliment from a friend, only to get angry with him a few minutes later. Only a professional psychiatrist should diagnose this disorder and take steps to manage it, like any other mental disorder.
- Depression - Prolonged periods of depression can be accompanied by extreme mood swings, both positive and negative. If you've been suffering from depression and suddenly feel strangely happy or excited, pay attention to changes in affections and desires. This will help you better understand how your mood swings are related to depression and everyday life.
- Grieving - when you lose a loved one, very often you will have unpredictable emotional reactions to situations that didn't bother you before. This is a natural part of the grief process. If, however, these mood swings become unmanageable, or result in dangerous situations for you or others, it is advisable to speak to a doctor about the possible benefits of medications and other strategies. You can also follow this advice in case of miscarriages. The emotional pain that accompanies the loss of an unborn child can be too difficult to bear and create problems, even in the absence of obvious and immediate biological changes.
- Phobias - we are all afraid of something, be it mice, spiders, crowded places and so on; in the presence of a triggering element, such phobias, in the most serious cases, can trigger extreme fears in the affected individual. The person will be subject to a sudden mood swings due to fear.
- Trauma - Many people who have had a horrible experience in their life, such as abuse, rape, assault, as a victim or witness, can become extremely nervous when a conversation or similar situation associated with that specific incident occurs. Furthermore, many soldiers and victims of catastrophic events get angry very easily.
- Stress due to major changes - Major life events, such as moving house, changing jobs, or having a child can be linked to mood swings. If you've had similar experiences recently, it's perfectly normal to have mood swings. As with many of the previous tips, however, see a doctor if these changes become unmanageable or can cause physical or psychological damage.
Step 4. Get professional help based on your rating
If you think any of the physiological or psychological conditions listed above describe your case, you should consult a professional. If you have a biological condition, talk to your family doctor. If you suspect a psychological problem, consult a specialist doctor, recommended by your family doctor.
- If at any time you feel that you cannot control your severe mood swings and feel helpless, it is important to seek professional help.
- This advice does not mean that in all cases doctors and drugs are the answer to mood swings. However, if your fluctuations are of medium intensity or severe, it is best to explore all options before trying to fix them on your own. Some people diagnosed with mood disorders choose to resolve them without the use of drugs, and are equally successful.
