Getting a baby to sleep has always been one of the biggest problems for new parents. Tracy Hogg, author of the book The Secret Language of Infants, has relied on the best theories developed by different schools of thought on infant education to develop a method that encourages listening, being patient and establishing a routine in order to help the infant to get to sleep and sleep through the night. Your child's age will determine how to apply the "Woman Whispering to Babies" method.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Learning the Method
Step 1. Understand the problem
Newborn babies find it difficult to regulate their sleep cycle, and new parents often don't know how to educate their children to sleep through the night.
- Some specialists, such as Richard Ferber (author of the "Ferber method"), propose letting babies cry at increasing intervals so that they can learn to calm themselves down. However, this method is highly controversial and, taken to extremes (ie, letting them cry children for long periods of time), can cause psychological distress and health problems in young children.
- Other experts advocate methods that encourage attachment to parents, such as sleeping together, breastfeeding at night, and rocking the baby to sleep, but which sometimes prevent the mother from getting adequate rest.
Step 2. Learn the philosophy
Tracy Hogg, author of The Secret Language of Babies, believes that letting babies cry until they fall asleep and being too thoughtful when getting them to sleep are two extremes that should be avoided. His criterion stands as a middle ground between the more drastic methods that support crying and the more moderate ones that encourage attachment to parents.
- The "Woman Whispering to Babies" method involves a strict day and night routine for the baby so that his body naturally gets used to falling asleep at the appropriate time. It also involves recognizing the signals being transmitted by the newborn and communicating with him so that he knows when he is tired.
- It is necessary to adapt this method according to the age of the child. In fact, no system that encourages him to fall asleep should be applied in the first 3 months of life, when he undeniably sleeps continuously and does not show much participation in the game or interacting with people.
Step 3. Find out about the method called "E. A. S. Y
"(English acronym that also includes the word" easy "). The acronym contains the phases of a rigorously structured procedure, which is the basis of Tracy Hogg's method.
- And it stands for "Eat" (eat). When the baby wakes up during a nap or while sleeping soundly, the first thing to do is to feed him. Whether it's a snack or a full meal (milk or solid foods, depending on age), it's important to follow this first step.
- A stands for "Activities". After eating, it's time for him to play, engage in some activity, or do anything other than eating or sleeping. The amount of time he has to devote to the activity varies according to the age of the child: while very young ones cannot play for long without getting tired, older ones can often continue for several hours.
- S stands for "Sleep". It is important that an activity is followed by sleep: since he will have played until the typical signs of fatigue manifest, he will have to go to sleep directly, without being breastfed or bottle-fed. According to Hogg, the breast and bottle before sleep are "tools" that the baby relies on to fall asleep, which prevent him from learning to calm down on his own.
- Y stands for "You Time", and is the time you have left when you go through the routine.
Step 4. Learn the "pick up / pull down" or "pu / pd" "(pick up and put down)
The habits outlined in the E. A. S. Y. They provide you with a structural framework on which Tracy Hogg's method is based, but perhaps the heart of that method is the philosophy behind the "pu / pd".
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When the baby is placed in his bed for a nap or a good sleep, he can safely "talk" to himself, fall asleep or cry. If he cries, those who care for him must take him and put into practice a series of techniques intended to calm him, called "Four S" (four S). They include:
- "Set the stage": it is a question of establishing the ritual that precedes bedtime and which should be the same every time, but not more than 5 minutes in total. In practice, it is a phase of gradual relaxation that indicates to the newborn that it is time to sleep. For example, you can change his diaper, close the curtains, turn off the light, sing a certain song and say a certain phrase to help him relax (for example, "It's time to go to sleep").
- "Swaddling" (swaddling): Not all babies like to be swaddled, but if yours likes it, it can help them calm down and fall asleep.
- "Sitting": sitting in silence with the baby.
- "Shush-pat" (give a few pats to calm him down): This method works best with younger children. You need to give firm taps to the center of the back, imitating the heartbeat (pat-pat, pat-pat), and simultaneously whisper "shhhh" in a tone of voice loud enough to distract the baby from crying.
- Once the baby has calmed down (although he will probably still be awake), the caregiver should place him in the crib and leave the room. These operations (pick up, soothe and put down) must be performed every time there is the need to gently stimulate sleep.
Part 2 of 4: Using the Method with 3-6 Month Old Babies
Step 1. Establish a routine
There are no exceptions on the elements that make up the routine: eating, playing and sleeping, in this precise order. However, the duration of each varies according to the needs of the child.
- Respect the time he usually wakes up naturally in the morning. It will be the starting point of your daily routine.
- Remember that Hogg does not randomly choose the term "routine", which does not mean "scheduled schedule". A schedule with deadlines involves doing things at the same time every day. A routine, on the other hand, involves an unchanged order and structure of the elements that compose it, but not necessarily at the same times or in the same length of time. Within a routine you can adopt some flexibility, lengthening or reducing the time to devote to some things to do during the day, but you must constantly respect their order day after day.
Step 2. Feed the baby
This is your first task as soon as he wakes up in the morning (however, he may need to change his diaper first). This is logical, since a newborn who wakes up after a long sleep needs to feed immediately.
- At this age, the baby should only be fed with breast milk or formula. Most 3 to 6 month old babies need to take 90 to 240ml of formula milk with each feed. If you are breastfeeding your baby you may not know how much milk he is ingesting, but feed him until he is no longer interested in sucking from the breast. As long as you regularly wet and dirty your nappy and gain weight appropriately, you can be sure that you are getting the right amount of milk.
- Typically, at this age, a breastfeed should last about 30 minutes.
Step 3. Play
Once he has finished eating, he must engage in some activity so that he is sufficiently stimulated before falling asleep again. Rested, full and with a dry diaper, he will be able to focus on the most important activities that help him develop his motor, cognitive and social skills.
His activities should be varied: he can play tummy time, look at picture books, go for a walk and other things suitable for his age and capable of stimulating him. The duration of the game varies according to the amount of attention he is able to devote (which gets longer with age) and the level of fatigue. You will most likely have to change his diaper eventually
Step 4. Lay the baby down so that he takes a nap
With a full stomach and a dry diaper, he should be ready for a nap. At 3 months, he will need 5 hours of sleep during the day and 10 at night.
- Put him to sleep in the crib when he shows signs of fatigue. Follow the preparatory routine that precedes bedtime, regardless of the time, moving calmly and trying to make your surroundings calm
- Do not upset the ritual that precedes sleep. The pattern by which you apply Tracy Hogg's method must remain the same for both a nap and a night's rest.
- If your child cries, console him. Start by whispering "shhh" to him. If it continues, tap your back a few times to calm the crying. If that's not enough, take it, but don't hold it for more than 2-3 minutes at a time. Put him back in the crib and leave him for the same amount of time, then repeat the process until he calms down.
Step 5. Listen to your child
As you go through the routine, your baby will cry, move, make sounds, shouts, or other vocalizations - that's his way of communicating with you, since he can't speak yet. With time and practice, you will learn to decipher various behaviors and ways of crying, which are essential for recognizing when she wants to eat, play and sleep. Using this information, you should figure out how much time to allocate to each stage of the routine (eating, playing and sleeping).
- If the crying is continuous and rhythmic, it means that he is hungry. If you hear your baby crying like this while sleeping, it means it's time to breastfeed him. Typically, babies of this age do not sleep tightly through the night without eating.
- If the crying is sharp and sudden, accompanied by jerky movements, it could indicate pain or discomfort. Instead of comforting him, you should check him for any injuries or physical symptoms.
- When tired, babies may rub their eyes, yawn, or squint. When you start seeing these signs while he is engaged in some activity, it means that it is time to take him to bed. It may happen that an activity lasts less than other times, depending on how much fatigue it has accumulated and the stimuli to which it has been subjected.
Step 6. Repeat the routine throughout the day
You will need to adjust the times: some children doze off a little in the morning and take two longer afternoon naps, while others prefer to take naps of the same duration, perfectly distributed throughout the day.
- Most babies of this age doze three times for a total of about 5 hours during the day and sleep for a total of about 10 hours at night.
- You will probably have to apply the E. A. S. Y. and the pu / pd method for several days, or even several weeks, before your child adjusts and accepts the routine. According to the author, it is vital to continue to follow him (and not abandon him) if he resists. However, you should always consult your pediatrician for any sleep or behavioral disturbances to avoid health problems, such as gastric reflux or colic.
Part 3 of 4: Using the Method with 6-8 Month Old Babies
Step 1. Adjust the routine as your child grows
Although the elements that compose it remain the same (eating, playing and sleeping, in this precise order), their duration and the strategies you could use vary according to how much awareness, interaction and attention your child shows in daily activities and how much cognition. has of your absence during the night.
- At 6 months, most babies shouldn't wake up to eat at night, especially if they've switched to solid nutrition.
- When your baby begins to sleep through the night, you can extend his daily activities by letting him play for 2 hours or so between naps. There will also be times when you may need to be flexible with schedules, perhaps during the holidays or when you have to run some errand that keeps you busy for more than 2 hours.
Step 2. Pay attention to the cues your child gives you before picking them up
When they rest or sleep, children of this age often "talk" to themselves, stammer or cry because they are too tired and thus fall asleep. It is important not to rush if they have not yet had a chance to lie down to sleep. Hear how your baby cries.
- The most common signal that communicates a desire to be consoled comes when the child reaches out to the parent. When you pick him up, hold him horizontally and say a few words of comfort before putting him back in the crib.
- If he gets more agitated, move away from the crib and avoid looking him in the eye. That way he might get distracted.
Step 3. Introduce a transition element
At this age, the child is more aware of the absence of the parent, therefore the presence of an object that helps him to comfort and calm himself before closing his eyes, such as a soft blanket or a toy that does not involve dangers, can benefit.
If you can, try to use the same object every time he dozes off and before he goes to bed at night, limiting its use only when it is in the bed. In this way, the child will learn to associate it with sleep and not with a moment of recreation, and most likely will use it to calm down and not to play
Part 4 of 4: Using the Method with Children over 8 Months
Step 1. Continue updating the routine as needed
This means that you will have to keep increasing the moments of play and activity, decreasing the daily naps. Always pay attention to the signals he sends you, so that you better understand his needs.
- From about 8 months to 1 year, the baby should doze off twice a day. After a year, most babies need only one nap, but you should understand from your child's tiredness and attention while playing if he is ready to take only one nap a day.
- Naps can range from 20 minutes to several hours, depending on the baby. Keep watching the signals it sends you.
Step 2. Let the baby calm down on his own
Put it in the crib and walk away. Don't pick him up unless he's really upset.
- A baby monitor can be especially useful at this stage. If you see that your baby is so upset that he can sit up and stand up, go to his room, pick him up and put him on his stomach.
- If he doesn't calm down on his own, leave him in the crib (instead of picking him up) and say something to calm him down. Babies of this age can understand a lot of words, so you could use a reassuring phrase like "Mom is here. Time to sleep." Try repeating it every time he needs to sleep to help him fall asleep. You can put your hand on his back for a few minutes.
Step 3. Wait when he cries at night before rushing to him right away
He may be able to calm down on his own.
- It is normal for a baby to cry or call at night, just as it is normal for adults to talk while they sleep. Since he cannot speak, he often mumbles, moans, screams, or cries during sleep. If you rush to him to comfort him, you risk waking him up and breaking his sleep cycle.
- If the crying increases or seems unusual, go to him and comfort him.
Advice
- Read Tracy Hogg's book The Secret Language of Babies, which explains the philosophy behind this approach, offering advice to apply in particular cases.
- Make sure your partner understands this method so that they can cooperate, especially during the first few nights, when trying to establish a certain rhythm to sleep. It can be tiring for a parent to get the child used to the pd / pu method (the author of the book points out that it will probably be necessary to pick him up and put him back in the crib hundreds of times at first!).
- Try to have a positive approach to this method. Proceed patiently and gently. It's not easy to apply, but doing so will help create a sense of independence in your baby that will last a lifetime.
- Limit daily television use, especially if your child tends to have bad dreams. Even if you think he is not watching it, television is an environmental factor that can favor a rather agitated dream activity.
Warnings
- Do not use this method until your baby is at least 3 months of age.
- Any method that regulates the times of wakefulness and sleep or that teaches a baby in diapers a behavior can be taken to extremes to the point of harming parents and children. Talk to your pediatrician, trying to figure out if it's a good choice for your family.
- If you cannot interpret the signs of fatigue that your child sends you, you risk making him even more tired, so much so that the operations to make him fall asleep are very difficult.
