You may never have heard of the concept of "rumination" (excessive brooding), but you've probably happened to too. This term derives from the Latin term which refers to the chewing process of ruminants, which swallow, regurgitate and chew again what they had eaten. In other words, ruminating can be defined as obsessive thinking. Remember the cases where something bad happened to you and you found yourself constantly reliving that situation in your head. This way of thinking can also lead to depression, so avoiding it is an important step in improving your mental health.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Getting distracted
Step 1. Find a lesson to learn from the difficulties
Negative life events are also learning opportunities. We learn by making mistakes and this is not possible without negative events that push us to think in a creative and innovative way. Focus on being able to grow and learn from each experience.
Learn to detach yourself from the things that happen to you. Instead of assuming that negative events only happen to bad people, try to understand that these episodes happen every day and it is up to you to decide how to react. You can consider them as experiences to learn from. Avoid taking them as personal setbacks that reflect your individual worth and turn the page
Step 2. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen to you
Coping with the troubling thought in this way can help you lessen the intensity of your fears. The main downside to a worry is to think through all possible scenarios until you feel exhausted. A more realistic approach can help you. Find out what the worst possible outcome is and then realize that, even then, it wouldn't be the end of the world.
Negative thoughts like this can cause you real physical pain, trouble sleeping, and other problems. It is important to find ways to overcome fear and live without these symptoms
Step 3. Eliminate the trigger
In some cases, you may find yourself ruminating after experiencing a certain stimulus. Carefully analyze your obsessive behavior and try to understand what causes it. At that point, find ways to eliminate the stimulus.
- The first step is to keep a journal to write in whenever you happen to run into obsessive and repetitive thoughts. In the moment, take note of which thoughts or experiences triggered the process that ails you, so you can identify the triggers.
- An example of a trigger could be a visit from your mother-in-law. If you have had problems in the past, you may be obsessed with her next unexpected visit because you are afraid it will end badly.
Step 4. Find healthy activities to replace bad habits
If you find healthier activities to achieve the same goal, it will be easier to change your behavior.
For example, if you have a tendency to worry a lot about emergencies, take some time to prepare for the unexpected so you know you'll be okay with that too. Do even more: help others prepare for those events as well. This is a great distraction from the prospect of reliving the worst case scenario in your mind for hours on end
Part 2 of 3: Managing Concerns
Step 1. Practice mindfulness practice
This means getting in touch with your thoughts, actions and reactions. This practice also takes advantage of relaxing activities such as yoga to overcome stress and avoid focusing on negative thoughts.
Understanding that you have a tendency to think too much is a big step towards awareness, because you can attribute much of the stress you experience to this habit and not to the events that have happened to you. Being aware of the consequences of stress will also help you avoid tension from causing you physical harm
Step 2. Set a time of day to devote to worries
While you won't be able to stop obsessive thoughts completely, you can isolate them in a short part of the day.
Spend 30 minutes a day writing down what worries you. If those thoughts come up at other times of the day, remember that you should only think about sources of stress at the times you set
Step 3. Become more active
Exercise can help you reduce stress and improve mood. Exercising causes the brain to release chemicals called endorphins, which are linked to physical well-being and can improve your mood.
Taking a long brisk walk for an hour stimulates blood circulation, sweating, is a great distraction and also a way to cleanse the body of toxins. Many people view sweating as a liberating process and a state of natural euphoria
Step 4. Start keeping a journal
Write down your fears and what really happens, so that you can compare the two in the future. This will help you understand that you often make problems worse than they are, because the worst doesn't always happen.
Step 5. Consult a counselor if any thoughts or memories are particularly stubborn
If obsessive thoughts interfere with your daily life, seeking help from a therapist may be the wisest choice.
For those who tend to ruminate, treatments may include therapy, desensitization and reworking through eye movements (EMDR), and cognitive-behavioral therapy sessions. In addition, there are some medications that can control obsessive thoughts
Part 3 of 3: Developing a Healthier Attitude
Step 1. Share your concerns with others
Confide in a friend, especially if they have been through situations similar to yours. He could give you a lot of helpful tips on how to handle the problem. Support groups for people suffering from depression or obsessive thinking disorders are ideal for gaining self-confidence and for eliminating the shame or stigma associated with these conditions.
Step 2. Get over the perfectionism craze
The mindset that everything you do must meet an ideal standard causes anxiety and mental fatigue. To change a perfectionist attitude, you have to start accepting that mistakes and flaws are inevitable.
- Learn to recognize perfectionism in your behavior. Do you often find yourself unable to meet the standards you set yourself or do you do it only thanks to a lot of time and effort? Do you frequently feel discouraged when trying to meet your standards?
- You can take a more realistic perspective by remembering some phrases like "Everyone is wrong!" or "It's human to make mistakes!". Try to do this when you make a mistake or don't meet your expectations. Over time, you will learn to be less hard on yourself.
Step 3. Give up the need to control everything
Take action when you can and learn to accept the things you cannot change. Practice having different reactions to stressful situations and, over time, work towards ending obsessive thoughts.
Work with friends and family to find ways to avoid your tendency to control. Support from loved ones can help you a lot and will make you feel more responsible
Step 4. Focus your attention on the positives in life
You learn from both negative and positive events; however, people who become obsessed often focus more on the downsides.
Each day, write down three things that went very well or that made you happy. Take the time to share these "victories" with loved ones and make them a priority. You can also ask them to imitate you and have positive conversations with you
Step 5. Use behavioral interventions to redirect negative thoughts
Until you try this advice, you may not even realize how often these thoughts surface. These interventions are designed to help you recognize your harmful mindset and adopt a healthier and less obsessed one.
It may be enough to wear a rubber band on your wrist and pull it every time you realize you are thinking of something negative, when it is not the time to do it
Advice
- If you can't find any lessons to learn from a traumatic event you've experienced in the past, accept it and move on. Focus on the ways you can take control of your life and choose the people you surround yourself with, the activities that allow you to earn and meet your essential needs, where you live and the groups you belong to.
- Give up the idea that bad episodes never happen to good people. It is a dangerous mentality that only serves to humiliate the unfortunate. Accidents and natural disasters can happen to anyone. Similarly, the events caused by an attacker are the sole responsibility of that person, the victim has only had the misfortune to be in contact with him.
Warnings
- If thoughts start to interfere with your normal daily activities or prevent you from sleeping at night, see your doctor.
- Try to find an experienced EMDR therapist who can help you process the thoughts and memories that are causing you stress.
- If psychology and therapy don't help, start looking for a different professional. Consider that differences in religious, ethical, cultural, and background views between a psychologist and his client can prevent the therapist from doing his or her job properly. This also applies to the best professionals.
