Regardless of your age, history, or past experience, you can be able to learn to communicate effectively. With a little self-confidence and knowledge of the basics of communication, you will be able to express your opinion. Here's how to do it.
Steps
Method 1 of 5: Creating the Right Environment for Communication
Step 1. Choose the right time
As the saying goes, there is a time and place for everything, and communication is no exception.
Avoid engaging in discussions on heavy topics like finances or planning the week late in the evening. Few people appreciate having to discuss important topics when they are tired. Instead, reserve these arguments for the morning and afternoon, when people are alert, available and will more easily be able to respond clearly
Step 2. Choose the right place for an intimate conversation
If you have to say something that won't be well received (such as news of a death or separation), don't do it in public, when colleagues are around, or in the presence of other people. Be respectful and concerned about who will receive the communication by informing them in a private place. This will give you the opportunity to openly talk about the message, and will ensure that both sides can express themselves.
If you have to speak to a group of people, be sure to check the acoustics beforehand and practice speaking in a clear voice. Use a microphone if necessary
Step 3. If the phone rings, have a laugh, turn it off immediately and keep talking
Remove distractions. Turn off any electronic devices that may make noise during the conversation. Don't let external distractions get in the way of your concentration. They will distract you and your interlocutor, preventing proper communication.
Method 2 of 5: Organize Your Communications
Step 1. Organize and clarify the ideas in your head
You should do this before trying to communicate these ideas. If you are passionate about a topic, you may get tangled up if you haven't thought about what to say first.
A good rule of thumb is to pick three main points and focus your communication on them. In this way, if you digress, you will be able to return to one of these points without losing the thread. You can write these points down if you think it helps
Step 2. Be clear
Clarify the message you want to convey from the start. For example, your purpose could be to inform other people, to obtain information or to initiate an action. People need to know first what you expect from a communication.
Step 3. Stay on topic
When you start discussing the three main points, make sure that everything you say adds something to the conversation. If you have already thought about the problems and ideas you want to communicate in advance, relevant phrases will probably pop up. Don't be afraid to use them to emphasize your point of view. Even famous and capable speakers often use the same phrases, to imprint them in the memory of those who listen to them.
Step 4. Thank your audience
Thank the person or group of people for the time they have given you by listening and responding to you. Regardless of the outcome of the communication, even if the answer was no, it is polite to end the conversation gracefully and highlight your respect for other people's opinions and time.
Method 3 of 5: Communicate with a Speech
Step 1. Make the listener feel comfortable
You will need to do this before engaging in a conversation or presentation. It may be helpful to start with an anecdote that the public loves. This will help the listener to consider you one of them.
Step 2. Articulate your words
It is important to speak clearly, so that the message arrives so that all the public can understand it. Your words will be remembered because everyone will immediately understand what you say. You will need to pronounce the words distinctly, prefer simple words over complex ones, and speak loud enough to be heard, but without appearing too cold and aloof.
Step 3. Avoid muttering
Be careful to pronounce the salient points of your speech to avoid any kind of misunderstanding. If muttering is a defense mechanism you have developed for fear of communicating, practice speaking at home in front of the mirror. Discuss what you want to communicate with the people you feel comfortable with, to better develop the message in your mind. Practice and choosing the right words will help you gain confidence in yourself.
Step 4. Be careful when listening and make sure your facial expression reflects your interest
Listen actively. Communication is a two-way street. Remember that while you are talking, you are not learning anything. By listening instead you will be able to understand if the message has reached the listener and if it has been received correctly. It may be helpful to ask your listeners to repeat what you said in their own words to make sure they are not confused or misunderstood.
Step 5. Speak in an interesting voice
A monotone sound is not pleasant to hear. A good speaker knows how to use tone of voice to improve communication. Norma Michael recommends turning up the pitch and volume of your voice as you move from topic to topic, and turning up the volume and slowing down the pace of presentation when stressing a particularly important point or summarizing. He also recommends speaking briskly, but taking breaks to emphasize keywords when requesting action.
Method 4 of 5: Communicating with Body Language
Step 1. Recognize people
Sure, you won't know all the people in the audience or your company's new friend, but they'll nod when you speak and watch you closely. This means they are making a connection with you. So reward them with your recognition.
Step 2. Clarity of meaning can also be expressed by your body language
Use facial expressions with knowledge. Try to convey passion and generate empathy among the audience by using sweet, kind and alert facial expressions. Avoid negative facial expressions, such as grimaces or raised eyebrows. The definition of negative facial expression depends on the context, including the cultural one, so adapt to each situation.
Pay attention to some gestures that can be interpreted differently according to the listener's culture, such as a closed fist, a lazy posture, or silence. If you are unfamiliar with the culture of the listener, ask questions about the communication habits of the place before starting to speak
Step 3. Communicate with people by looking them in the eye
The meeting of glances establishes a relationship, helps people believe that you are trustworthy, and shows your interest. During a conversation or presentation, it's important to make eye contact, if possible, and maintain eye contact for a reasonable amount of time (don't overdo it; continue until it feels natural, about 2-4 seconds).
- Remember to involve your entire audience. If you are speaking to a board of directors, look each board member in the eye. Neglecting a person can be interpreted as an offense and could cause you to lose your job, admission, success, or whatever your goal is.
- If you are addressing an audience, pause and make eye contact with an audience member for about 2 seconds, before looking away and starting to speak again. This will help you make individual members of the audience feel involved.
- Pay attention, eye contact is interpreted differently according to the culture of belonging. In some cultures it is considered inappropriate or annoying. Do your research and inform yourself in advance.
Step 4. Use your breathing and pauses to your advantage
Pauses are a powerful tool. Simon Reynolds argues that taking a break allows the audience to get closer and listen. They can help you emphasize the highlights and give your listener time to assimilate what you said. They will also help make the conversation more interesting and it will be easier to hear your speech.
- Take deep breaths and calm down before you start communicating.
- Make it a habit to breathe evenly and deeply during a conversation to keep your voice calm and confident. You will also be more relaxed.
- Use breaks to catch your breath.
Step 5. Gesture carefully
Pay attention to what your hands say as you speak. Some hand gestures can be very useful for highlighting concepts (opening gestures), while others can distract or offend the listener, and can lead to a premature interruption of the conversation (closing gestures). It will be helpful for you to look at other people's gestures to see how they affect you.
Step 6. Check for other signals you transmit with your body
Be careful not to lose your eyes, not to remove the lint from your clothes and not to sniff. These little attitudes will reduce the effectiveness of your message.
Method 5 of 5: Communicate Effectively During a Quarrel
Step 1. Get to the same height as the other person
Do not stand and do not overlook it. Doing so will create a power challenge and take the conflict to another level. If the person is sitting, you should sit too.
Step 2. Listen to your counterpart
Let him express his feelings. Wait until he has finished speaking before you begin.
Step 3. Speak in a calm voice
Don't scream and don't make accusations. Let her know that you understand her point of view and share it.
Step 4. Don't try to settle an argument at all costs
If the person leaves the room, don't follow him. Allow her to do this and let her come back when she is calmer and ready to talk.
Step 5. Don't try to have the last word
Again, you would create a power battle that may never end. In some cases you will only be able to acknowledge that you disagree and move on.
Step 6. Use sentences with "I"
When voicing your concerns, try to use phrases that begin with "I …". You will make the other person more receptive to your complaints. For example, instead of saying "You're careless and that makes me angry," try "I think your confusing attitude is a problem for our relationship."
Advice
- Don't complain and don't pray. In no case would you arouse respect or interest in those who listen to you. If you are very upset, walk away and come back to discuss later when you have cleared up your mind.
- Don't go too long. Your message will not be understood or you will not be taken seriously.
- Be careful about using humor. While a small dose of humor can be very effective, don't overdo it and don't rely on it to sweeten the pill if you have to talk about difficult topics. If you keep grinning and making jokes, you won't be taken seriously.
- Search the internet for examples of great speakers in action. There are many inspirational models that you can study by watching online videos.
- If you are giving a presentation in front of a group of people or an audience, be prepared to answer the tough questions so you don't get caught off guard and don't know how to continue. To never lose the ability to communicate effectively, Michael Brown suggests a golden rule for handling difficult questions. He recommends listening on behalf of everyone present, asking questions and repeating the problem. Share the answer with everyone, turning your eyes away from whoever asked you the question and moving your gaze to everyone present to make sure that everyone takes responsibility for the answer. Take advantage of this collective response to move on and change the subject.
