Some people seem to have a natural inclination for socialization, while others find it more difficult although humans are supposed to be "social animals". However, it is possible to practice to improve your social skills, because basically it is a skill like any other. Read on to learn how to get out of your environment and improve your social life.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Exceed Your Reserves
Step 1. Try to be less critical
Those who define themselves as "antisocial" tend to constantly criticize both themselves and others. He avoids social interactions because if on the one hand he fears the judgment of others, on the other hand (ironically) he is always ready to rattle off judgments about others. To become a more sociable person it is important to accept others, regardless of physical appearance, because everyone has both qualities and defects. What distinguishes safe people from insecure people is the attitude towards themselves. Those who are sociable and self-confident tend to focus their positivity on themselves and those around them, while insecure and unsocial people focus on their own shortcomings and their acquaintances.
- Make a list of your qualities. Make sure you include both the inner (intellectual and sentimental) and the outer (physical) ones. Get in the habit of reminding yourself what your strengths are every day. Furthermore, it is very important to counteract negative thoughts directed towards yourself with two positive ones.
- Don't define yourself as a shy, reserved and unsociable person anymore. The more you use these words to label yourself, the more you will tend to fall into these categories and convince yourself that you cannot interact socially, ending up avoiding other people. If you want to become a little more social, you need to start believing that you are. Remember that it is a "choice": it is an attitude you decide to have, it is not a predisposition.
- You have to convince yourself that man's nature is good. Although the world is full of evil people, it is essential to accept that human beings are loving, kind and tolerant creatures. With this belief, you will feel more enticed to meet new people rather than avoid them.
Step 2. Don't analyze your social interactions in great detail
Generally, thinking too much about an issue prevents action and, in this case, social life. Even if it seems difficult, we must lose the habit of anticipating events, analyzing them even before they happen and after they unfold.
- Instead of focusing on what could go wrong or embarrass you, approach new acquaintances with a fresh mind and a positive attitude.
- When reflecting on past relationships, focus on the positives rather than the negatives. While these aren't important or exciting interactions, identify a positive event about every interaction you've had, even the simplest one, like a joke that made someone laugh.
Step 3. Realize that you are not the most important person in the world
Paradoxically, shy people who feel invisible and unwanted always have the impression of being in a spotlight. They believe they are constantly observed and criticized by others. This strange paradox of shyness prevents them from feeling comfortable with themselves and with others. This doesn't mean you need to feel unimportant, rather realize that you are your most ruthless critic. Others are simply too busy to judge and criticize you at all times.
- Remember that people are so busy with their lives and interactions that they have very little time to notice if you make mistakes, silly comments, or if you are not at your best. Even if they notice it, they won't give you much importance because they should worry about their problems!
- Realize that everyone feels exactly like you in one way or another. Even the most sociable people feel insecure every now and then and fear they will appear silly. The only difference is that they choose to take risks and have fun rather than waste time worrying about the reactions of others.
Part 2 of 2: Improving Your Social Life
Step 1. Practice
Like any other skill, social skill also requires practice and consistency. This means that you have to get out of your environment and force yourself to constantly interact with other people. Avoid dividing your life into watertight compartments, separating the social aspect from the rest. If you really want to become more social, you need to show this attitude in every aspect of life, be it at work, school, or in the family.
- Get in the habit of having casual conversations with the people you meet every day, including the bank teller, bartender, and clerks.
- Spend your free time with friends when you get the chance. If you're the type who invests their time in solitary activities and sports, invite a friend next time.
- Always accept invitations. Avoid excuses, such as tiredness, being up early, or feeling unattractive. Sometimes they are legitimate justifications, other times they are pretexts to avoid interactions. Learn to distinguish between sincere and made-up excuses.
Step 2. Try to always have a positive attitude
Anyone who likes to date someone who is upbeat, positive and happy. Even if you don't always feel this way, you should fake a positive attitude when talking to people. For example, if someone is interested in your life, focus on the positives rather than complaining about misfortunes.
A positive attitude always arouses interest and people will want to know more about you
Step 3. Turn your attention completely
If you want to sound interesting, you need to show your interest in others, especially in conversation. When talking to someone, listen to what they say instead of worrying about what you should say. Make eye contact, nod, and ask questions back.
Avoid checking your cell phone often and don't look around during a conversation. This kind of attitude is rude and, in addition, you will give the impression that you are not interested in the person or in the conversation
Step 4. Pay attention to body language
If you are at a party or social event, the way you move your body communicates specific messages to other people. If you want others to approach you, you should avoid standing in a corner, crossing your arms, staring at the phone, and frowning.
Make eye contact with others and smile to show that you are friendly, open and not at all threatening. Also, when you smile you look more and more attractive
Step 5. Take the first step
If you are always waiting for others to call or invite you, you are wasting your life. Relationships are built with mutual commitment. If you want to show people that you care about their friendship, you need to contact them and propose something to spend time together.
Keep in touch with friends, even if you don't live in the same city. Pick up the phone and call them, text them or email them to ask how it goes
Step 6. Take any opportunity to meet new people
The best way to make new friends and widen your circles is to accept invitations to parties, social gatherings, travel to new places, but also to talk to strangers in clubs or on the bus, at school, on the plane and so on.
When you meet a stranger who intimidates you, brace yourself and try to get to know him, because in reality you have nothing to lose even if things go wrong. On the other hand, who knows this stranger doesn't become your best friend, your partner, or maybe your partner
Step 7. Make a note of what people might like
It's hard to remember what every single person you've met likes or what they're interested in. So when you come home after a meeting, always take notes. Do some proper research and discuss it the next time you meet. You will be amazed at how many friends you can make by simply learning what each one is interested in. It might seem daunting at first; therefore start with your schoolmates or university colleagues.
Remember not to get too excited. For example, avoid overdoing it by becoming a stalker of a person on social networks. Just know how much his favorite team has won and when he will play the next match
Advice
- Being social doesn't necessarily mean you have to be friends with everyone. It is impossible to please anyone and it is more rewarding to have a small circle of important friends than a hundred superficial and mediocre acquaintances.
- If you feel like you don't have a lot of social contacts, then choose a new hobby, join a club, sports or volunteer group. Be careful to choose something that gives you the opportunity to be in contact with other people.
- Remember to always be yourself, don't pretend to be different from who you are.
- During conversations, it is best not to expose one's views on religion, politics, abortion and other sensitive issues, unless the interlocutor is genuinely interested. In that case, however, avoid exposing points of view that are too extreme, as these topics rarely generate pleasant discussions.
