Guys behave differently when they are with their friends than when they are with girlfriends. It is a fact that you have to accept. Whether they behave less lovingly, ignore you or are more immature, it's easy to take offense when this side of their personality emerges. The good news is, you don't have to let it down. If you communicate your feelings to him, try to understand his behavior and get to know his friends, you will feel happier.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Communicating Your Feelings
Step 1. Voice your concerns
If your boyfriend makes you angry when he ignores you or jokes with friends, tell him. Wait until you are alone with him so you don't embarrass him. Express exactly what you think, calmly and rationally. If you can, always express yourself in the first person. Begin the sentences with "I have the feeling that …", "I think …" or "I wish …". That way, he won't feel accused.
For example, you might say, "I don't want to complain too much, but I feel left out when you and your friends ignore me. I wanted to talk to you right away, before it becomes a habit."
Step 2. Choose your words carefully
Avoid talking badly about his friends or saying anything that he might take as an insult. He may not even have noticed that he has offended you. If, on the other hand, you go straight to offending, you could make an already embarrassing situation much worse.
Step 3. Consider your body language
Verbal communication is only half of the equation. When you speak, look him in the eye and lean towards him so he will understand that he has your full attention. If you usually gesticulate when you talk, don't change your habits. When he replies, nod to show that you understand.
Step 4. Come to an agreement
Compromises are the key to a healthy relationship. You both have to give something up to get what you want. Promise not to criticize him again for his attitude if he will make an effort to stand up for you or include you in conversations with his friends.
Method 2 of 3: Accept Your Behavior and Your Friends
Step 1. Put yourself in his shoes
If your boyfriend is a teenager or in his early 20s, his brain is still developing. This can lead to him doing or saying "stupid" things without thinking. Other problems, such as over-protective parenting, youth obsessions, and financial hardship, can also lead adult men to behave immature. Try to understand and forgive him if he tells you that it was not his intention to make you feel excluded. He's probably telling the truth.
Step 2. Accept their need to integrate
We all think we have to imitate our friends. If everyone wants to play video games, don't feel disappointed if he too wants to play a game instead of pampering you. Put yourself in his shoes and imagine how you would feel if he asked you not to join your friends.
Step 3. Don't force him to make a choice
His friends have known him before you. Avoid making him choose between you and them. Show them the same respect you would like him to give you and your friends.
Step 4. Don't try to sabotage his friendships
This attitude shows a lack of trust and respect. Avoid calling or texting him when you know everyone is getting together to watch their favorite team's game. Don't invent emergencies to force him to walk away from them to be with you. Avoid deleting messages from his friends.
Step 5. Be civil with people you don't like
You don't need to pretend that you like everyone, but you shouldn't create conflict either. If you meet a friend of your boyfriend that you don't like, just greet him with a simple "Hey, how are you?". If he approaches you when you are together, say hello, finish your conversation, then walk away politely.
Step 6. Give him some space
Tell him your feelings honestly, but reassure him that you understand the value of friendship. Take advantage of the occasions when you are alone to hang out with your friends. Your boyfriend will likely agree with your decision.
Method 3 of 3: Integrate into the Group
Step 1. Show interest in his friends
Listen to your boyfriend carefully when he talks to you about his friends. Look for points in common with them and when you happen to be in their company, you can say something about it, for example: "Oh, you're Michele! Giorgio told me you're from Paris. My aunt lives there."
Step 2. Play the game
Sitting on the sidelines while the kids are joking would make you look snobbish. If you don't understand a joke from one of their friends, wait until they're done laughing. At that point, you can calmly say, "I'm sorry, but I don't understand. Did I miss something?" Smile and have a light laugh as you speak. This way, you will show that you are able to play along and appreciate funny jokes.
Don't let your boyfriend or his friends make fun of you or make sexist jokes. If they don't treat you with respect, they're not worth dating
Step 3. Ask your boyfriend to limit the number of friends you date
Suggest that they only do this when you are there too. In a smaller group, it is often easier to associate names with faces. Reassure him that this precaution will only serve until you get to know them better.
If one of his friends has a girlfriend, suggest a four-way date. Getting to know another couple in her company will make future group outings less awkward
Step 4. Include your friends
As you try to integrate with his friends, ask him to try to accept yours. Invite them to weekend group outings. This way, you both have someone to talk to in awkward moments of silence, and it will be easier to change the subject if a friend says something offensive.
