A eulogy is a speech given in homage by a deceased person, usually given during his or her funeral. During the ritual, various speeches can be given by colleagues, neighbors, schoolmates, etc. To write a eulogy dedicated to a grandfather, you should focus on the relationship you had with him as a grandson, rather than trying to illustrate his entire life. A funeral can be a difficult time for everyone who knew the deceased, but if you can write an engaging eulogy, you can offer everyone in attendance a sense of peace and harmony.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Planning the Praise
Step 1. Gather your ideas and plan them
When you reflect on your speech, you will have to let go of some ideas. You can't put everything you want into your eulogy, so try not to create a detailed bio of your grandfather's entire life. Reflect on some memories: think about the moments you spent together, the most touching circumstances that revealed his personality to you, and so on. Write everything down, but don't feel pressured to include everything you've listed.
- Ask yourself what qualities best describe his person.
- Consider what sets your grandfather apart from other people you know.
- If he had particular hobbies or passions, it is best to mention them. However, it is not necessary to focus praise on these aspects, since it would be better to highlight his role as a grandfather.
Step 2. Ask other people what memories they have of him
Praise should be centered around how thoughtful he has been with you. However, that doesn't mean you can't consider the confidences of other people who knew him. You could start by asking your parents, aunts, or uncles about their relationship with your grandfather or even contacting his closest friends to find out what are the best memories they have of the deceased. This research might give you some insight into how he was known to other people and why he was liked by those outside your family.
When you talk to others about your grandfather, consider asking how and when they met him (if they are not related), what are the best memories they have of him and what his strengths were. Depending on the relationship they had with him (friendship or kinship), the answers could differ considerably from the ideas you wrote down: this divergence, however, can lead you to deepen in praise the way in which others considered him
Step 3. Look for the most illuminating memories
As you sift through all the memories you have of your grandfather, look for the moments that best characterize him. Did he ever say or do something that led you to believe "This is my grandfather's true soul"? It doesn't have to be a colossal, life-changing moment. Often the best memories that bring to light a person are the little things he said or did, his qualities, as they help to reveal his personality and character day by day.
As you begin to write down what you remember, focus on a series of small truths. Avoid bombastic and generic phrases, but focus on the details that describe your grandfather or your relationship
Step 4. Try to be concrete
It is not enough for you to write that you had a caring grandfather. Give an accurate testimony that illustrates how loving he was. If he had a great sense of humor, don't just say he was a witty type. He talks about his ironic streak, perhaps describing the time he had organized a joke or told a funny anecdote. Remember that not everyone will have the same memories as you. Therefore, your eulogy should explain to those who attend the funeral what your relationship was and what grandparent it was.
Part 2 of 3: Setting the Tone
Step 1. Give a smile without making jokes
Remember that you don't have to talk about his daily life as if you were a stand-up comedian. However, keep in mind that eulogies often elicit some laughter from those present, comforting all those affected by the bereavement. Don't make a fool of yourself, but try to tell some little anecdote that makes everyone who knew your grandfather laugh and think: "It really was!". Alternatively, you can choose to tell an episode ending it in an unexpected way, but highlighting some extravagance of its own. Whichever way you choose to write praise, remember that laughter comforts people, but don't overdo it if you want it to be successful.
Don't write jokes. Remember that it's still a funeral, although a couple of funny anecdotes placed at the right time can help lighten the mood and remind everyone of the happiest and most enjoyable moments they shared with your grandfather
Step 2. Personalize the speech for your grandfather
It is important to take into account the personality of the deceased as you write the eulogy. If he was very serious in life, you might want to avoid funny anecdotes. If he was a fervent believer, feel free to report what role faith played in his life. There are no rigid rules for writing a eulogy, other than the effort to grasp the spirit and personality of the deceased. Focus on what your grandfather would have liked to hear and what is most appropriate and important to honor his memory.
Step 3. Don't be the protagonist
It's best if the first draft focuses on what you think and your feelings, but remember that praise doesn't have to be about you. It is perfectly understandable that you talk about the relationship you had with your grandfather, but try not to dwell too much on your mood or what you are thinking. Everyone knows that you cared about him and that you are grieving his lack, but what they really want to hear is a loving tribute to his memory.
Consider having someone else read your eulogy to ask if you talk excessively about yourself. Another person's opinion can help you identify the best way to focus on your grandfather and your relationship rather than describing how you are feeling
Part 3 of 3: Prepare the Eulogy
Step 1. Write a short introduction
If your family is quite large or if your grandfather had a lot of friends, not everyone probably knows you as his grandson. Make sure that the introduction is very short: a single very concise sentence will be enough, which introduces you by indicating your name and the relationship you had with the deceased.
Step 2. Coordinate with the other people who will be giving a speech
If other relatives or friends will say their eulogy at the funeral, you may want to contact them in advance. Organize what everyone means so that they don't report the same qualities or tell the same stories.
Step 3. Keep in mind that you have a time limit
Sometimes, when there are multiple people giving a speech at a funeral, a certain time limit may be set for each one. Even if it has not been explicitly stated, it is important to remember that one does not have to go on indefinitely. Be respectful and know how to reduce the length of your praise.
Even if no time limits have been explicitly imposed on you, try to make your speech last less than five minutes. Typically, after five minutes, people have a hard time continuing to listen, especially if they are overcome with pain
Step 4. Avoid making sense of things
You're not doing your grandfather a favor by trying to make sense of his death. Nor will you be able to frame an entire existence in a eulogy. So instead of telling everyone what they have to think about the life and death of those who left, you'd better focus on what made their existence so important. There is no need to stress how difficult it will be to fill the void it left, because everyone will probably think the same thing. Instead of saying obvious and obvious phrases, focus on making the eulogy a loving tribute to the deceased.
Step 5. Practice pronouncing the eulogy at home
It is generally a good idea to review a speech before the day you need to give it, and a praise makes no difference. You will most likely cry as you say it, but that's not a problem. It is natural to cry during a funeral, especially when you recall all the wonderful memories you have of the deceased. However, try not to get too overwhelmed by emotion, risking to ruin your affectionate homage with unstoppable sobs and tears. By exercising, you will have the opportunity to let off steam when you are alone. This is important as it may be your first time talking openly about your grandfather's death. Don't be afraid to show yourself in tears, but give yourself a good cry before speaking in front of a lot of people.
Step 6. Find out about the organization
It is important to know the organizational details before the funeral. Therefore, once you have decided to offer a praise, it is essential to know where you will need to pronounce it, if there are obstacles to cross to get to your station and if there is a microphone. Don't forget to bring a written copy of the final draft with you. Even if you think you've memorized it, it's not a bad idea to have a hard copy available, just in case.
Advice
- Start writing the eulogy as soon as you are asked. You will probably only have a couple of days, but the more time you spend on it, the better.
- Try not to get upset if you are asked to offer praise. None of the people attending the funeral expects to have an expert speaker in front of them. They will appreciate the memories you want to share with them, no matter how you present them.
Warnings
- Don't turn praise into a poem. Those present will be distracted by the meaning because they will be focused on listening to the rhythm and rhyme of your verses.
- A funeral is not a time to "set the record straight" about the deceased or to resolve family problems. Be kind and try to pay your tribute in the most loving way possible.
