Your brother is about to go to study in another city and everyone in the family is excited about this new beginning. Even if you are happy with this new phase in his life, at the same time you may feel sad, because you will miss him. You may also experience a mix of different emotions during the move; including, for example, jealousy at all the attention he receives, fear of having to go through daily life without your brother, and even anger at the change. Learn some methods to face and overcome this great transformation.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Communicating Your Feelings
Step 1. Express emotion for this new chapter in your brother's life
You may find that all he wants to talk about is college and that's normal. Share her excitement and feed her, because you are probably excited about this change too.
- Leaving your city to go to university is a big change. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask them. Open the dialogue by asking "How do you feel about this big change? Are you excited?". Your brother will likely enjoy the chance to talk about his new adventure and you will have the opportunity to spend some time with him.
- Share the emotion by participating in the preparations. This way, you will not only be able to distract yourself from negative feelings, but you will be able to spend more time with your brother before he leaves.
Step 2. If you are worried that things will change, talk about it
Don't hesitate to confess your fears to him and your parents. When one of the siblings leaves the family, it is normal for the one who stays at home to feel worried. Nobody will get mad at you just because you express your feelings. Also, there are some methods you can try to alleviate your fears.
- Spend some time alone with him before he leaves, so you can form new memories and know if there are things he wants to pass on to you before you leave.
- Avoid getting mad at him for his departure. Try to be happy. Going to university is a rite of passage. Soon, you will be the one to leave.
Step 3. Confront your parents if you feel like you've overshadowed them
If you are not the one who is about to leave, you may be temporarily forgotten in the chaos of preparations. Express your concerns to your parents, without feeling guilty if you feel that something has changed.
- The day of departure and those preceding it will likely be particularly stressful, so it won't help if you get angry because you feel neglected. Instead, ask your parents for a quiet time to talk about your feelings. You might say, "Mom? Dad? Can they talk to you for a minute? I've been feeling very neglected lately."
- Don't be afraid to ask your parents to talk about your fears and reservations about relocation. Often you will be surprised to find that they too experience a lot of mixed emotions.
Step 4. Mourn his absence
It is normal to feel sad and need time to adjust to change. Avoid thinking that showing your sadness is for weak people. Your brother will surely be struck by the fact that his departure upsets you to the point of making you sick.
- You can overcome grief and sadness by talking to him, your parents, or a close friend.
- Don't be afraid to show your emotions. By stifling your feelings, you will only feel worse. In some cases, it will be helpful for you to let off steam and show your brother how you feel. That said, don't make a scene that makes him feel guilty about his departure.
Part 2 of 3: Coping with the Transition Period
Step 1. Offer your support
Your sibling likely experiences a lot of mixed emotions: fear, sadness, anxiety, and enthusiasm. Ask him what you can do to make his transition easier. By simply telling him "Is there anything I can do to help you?", He will feel less alone during this time of great change.
Another way to show your support is to distract them from moving. Distractions can be great for coping with the stress of change. In some cases, the best way to help is to make time while packing your bags for a fun activity you always did together, like a bike ride or a walk in the park
Step 2. Spend quality time together before he leaves
By creating new memories you will be able to stay connected. It can be fun to throw a farewell party, help your sibling plan decorations for his new home, or visit the city where he will soon be living.
Those who have a sibling like to feel a bond with their family and have the feeling of passing on something. For this, take the time to ask him for advice on his departure
Step 3. Prepare a farewell gift that has sentimental value
With a special gift for your brother you can help him a lot to get used to his new university life and you will have the opportunity to express your emotions. You don't need an expensive gift, but choose something that has symbolic value for both of you.
- Photos are ideal gifts to take to the new city and use as decoration. You can also design a special gift for your sibling that represents a memory that binds you.
- Matching items, such as special pillows or stuffed animals that you can both keep on your beds are other cute ideas.
Step 4. Keep busy
Take up a new hobby. Spend more time with friends. Your life doesn't have to stop just because your brother leaves for college. In addition, by participating in new activities you will be full of commitments and will be able to better cope with its lack.
Part 3 of 3: Maintain a Good Relationship
Step 1. Call or write to him often
You probably often stayed up late to talk to him. Now that it's gone, you may feel alone. Fortunately, today we have many technological tools available to keep in touch with loved ones, even from a distance.
- Schedule calls in advance so you avoid feeling sad when your brother can't answer. Traditional phone calls are still an excellent means of communication today, but other tools, such as messages, give your brother the opportunity to read and respond when he has time.
- The messages are ideal for everyday use, because you can write and reply to each other when you have some free moments.
- You can also keep in touch via email, Skype, Facebook, instant messages, etc. You can also video call, so you can see each other in the face when you're both available.
Step 2. Plan a visit
Buy a calendar and write down the dates of your visits. Being able to visualize the time between your departure and your first visit will help you think about when you will see your brother again, instead of focusing on the sadness of his move.
Make the occasions when she comes home special. Make sure you organize lots of fun activities with the whole family, allowing everyone to be together like old times
Step 3. Keep him updated on life at home and ask him how he is doing
It will be fun to share your new role at home with him, as he will likely appreciate the fact that you are growing up and taking on new responsibilities.
