Many people say "thank you" via text message or chat, but nothing beats writing an old-fashioned thank you letter. Writing a thank you card is a great way to respond to a gift, both concrete and abstract. Follow these steps to express your gratitude more eloquently and heartily.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Composition
Step 1. Open with a greeting
Start the thank-you letter by addressing it to the person in the way that feels most natural. You have to decide if the relationship is casual enough to use the person's name or if you should start with "Mr." or "Mrs.", as it would be for someone you don't know very well. In almost all situations, it is appropriate to start with "Dear [person's name]". If the note is for your best friend, your teacher, or your mom, that's fine. If you're looking for something with a little more personality, try the following:
- "Dearest _,"
- "Hello, _,"
- "My friend,"
Step 2. Express your gratitude sincerely
Thank you cards are usually short and concise, so you need to thank the person right away. Be specific about the subject of your gratitude. Describing the gift a little will make it clear that you have thought about it and it is something you love. This is a good way to make sure the letter doesn't look generic, because it's easy to go wrong if you have to write a lot of thank-you letters after a wedding or party. Here are some examples of openings:
- "Thank you so much for the nice pair of leggings you gave Alessia!"
- "You were very kind to come to my opening night."
- "I am very grateful for your help with my graduation project this semester."
Step 3. Write a few lines about what it meant to you
After clearly stating what you are grateful for, describe your feelings about the gift or act of kindness you received. Even if you don't absolutely love the gift, think about the troubles and expenses the person went through for your benefit and let them know that their effort was greatly appreciated. Try to be honest and sincere. For example, you might say:
- "Thank you so much for the nice pair of leggings you gave Alessia! They fit her perfectly and she has a red dress that matches perfectly. She will certainly use them well this winter."
- "You were very kind to come to my opening night. It made me happy to see your bright smile in the audience. I think knowing you were there especially helped calm my stage fright."
- "I am very grateful to her for her help with my graduation project this semester. She has many students who depend on her and I really appreciate that she took the time to follow me closely."
Step 4. Ask about the other person or share some news
Now that you've expressed your gratitude, it's nice to write a few more lines that show you care about the person. Ask a few questions and share some information about your life. This is what makes the difference between a hastily written comment and a real thank you letter: the recipient will have even more pleasure in receiving your words. For example, you could write:
- "It was fun joining you at the party. How are things with Roberto's football team? He has a natural talent, that boy. Anna asked about him every day. We can't wait to see you this Christmas!"
- "Will you be back in New York soon? Next time I want to take you to dinner at my favorite restaurant. It will be nice to have a quiet conversation, rather than in the stress of work!"
- "I wish you the best with your research this summer and look forward to seeing you at the next conference in the fall."
Step 5. Express your appreciation one last time
To end on a note of kindness, let the person you write to know how much you appreciate their friendship. There is no need to bring the gift back to attention, just say thank you for just being yourself.
- "Friends like you are the most beautiful part of this city and I can't wait to meet you somewhere and share our latest news."
- "Your support through my career just shows how amazing your friendship is. Your generosity and kindness mean everything to me."
- "You are the best thing about being in college and you represent everything I love about my school. I hope someday I can do the same with my students."
- "Don't hesitate to call whenever you have the desire to talk, collaborate or share a cup of coffee. Talking to you is something I could never give up."
Step 6. Finish the letter
Closing a letter is often the trickiest part, as it has to set a certain tone and leave the reader happy. At the same time, you don't have to overdo it and overstep the boundaries of your relationship (for example, by ending a letter to your co-worker with the phrase "With love"). Think about the nature of your relationship and choose the closure that seems most appropriate. If you can't decide, you would do well to sign only with your name. Here are some popular farewell examples:
- For a letter to a loved one: Love, Much love, Kisses and hugs
- For a letter to a friend: Regards, Thanks again, Love, See you soon, Xoxo
- For a letter to a colleague: Sincerely, Gratefully, Respectfully, Best Regards
Part 2 of 3: Choose the Format
Step 1. You can write by hand or type from keyboard
A handwritten or keyboard letter is equally acceptable. The former will have a slightly more personal feel to it, but a computer-written letter is best if you feel more comfortable with it. What matters is the effort you are making in writing and sending the letter, so don't worry too much about the choice.
- If you choose to write by hand, use a pen with black or blue ink. Write in italics or block letters so that your writing is legible.
- If you choose to type it, use a font that is easy to read, such as Times New Roman or Arial. This is especially necessary if you are writing a more formal thank-you letter.
Step 2. Get some nice writing paper or a postcard
While writing a note on a piece of paper would show that you have an interesting character, it is considered more polite to use nice paper or a card. If someone has taken the trouble to give you a gift, the nice thing to do is to send them your letter in a format that shows that you are genuinely grateful.
- If you're using writing paper, it doesn't have to have a pattern. Look for heavy paper made of cotton or other high-quality material. It is good to use paper with a design or with your initials.
- You can buy a stock of thank you cards at stationeries and supermarkets. Consider always buying more than one, so you'll have more postcards on hand whenever you need them.
Step 3. Make it professional or informal
The style of your letter will be a little different depending on who receives it. With the nature of the gift in mind, think about the type of card that would be most appropriate. In any case, you will need to make the person receiving the letter feel that you are sincerely grateful.
- For example, if you're sending a thank you card to your boss and the workplace setup is pretty formal, you might want to choose some business-quality paper, type the letter, and format it according to the rules for a professional business letter.
- If the note is for a friend, you can show a little more personality. Write your note on a funny or self-made postcard.
Step 4. Find out when to send an email
While sending a thank you SMS doesn't have enough oomph to show how grateful you are, sometimes it's okay to send an email. This is especially true if you are not writing the thank you card for a gift. For example, if your aunt had the patience to listen to you when you were upset about the breakup with your boyfriend, you would do well to send her an email in gratitude for her support and understanding.
- However, if you need to thank someone for a gift you have received or for taking a substantial amount of time to help you, it is best to send an actual letter. People realize that it takes effort to write and mail a letter and that extra time will be appreciated.
- If you're sending an email, it should be as composed and thoughtful as a regular letter. In fact, you might want to spend even more time on it to make sure it's written well, as you won't bother sending it via regular mail.
Part 3 of 3: Follow the etiquette
Step 1. Match the length of the letter to the size of the gift
This is a very general rule that works quite well in practice. A very heartfelt and expensive gift deserves a rather long and thoughtful letter. A gift, on the other hand, can be reciprocated with a simple and small gesture. Think about how much time, effort, and money went into the gift and appropriately match the letter's tone and length.
- For example, if someone bought you a wedding gift worth hundreds of dollars, as well as a wedding invitation, they deserve a real thank you letter on beautiful paper or a substantial card.
- On the other hand, if you were the recipient of an insignificant gift, a quick and short note will do just fine.
Step 2. Start in the middle of the card if you want
Having trouble filling out an entire thank-you note? If you bought that type of cardstock that is folded in half, you don't have to fill in the entire blank. Instead, you can start on the right or bottom half of the card and write a letter that fills only this part of the paper. It seems more correct than leaving too much empty space or overshooting the handwriting to fill everything.
Of course, you have to take into account the previous rule regarding the length of the letter. If the recipient deserves a two-page letter, you'd better match the length to the importance of the gift and fill out the entire card
Step 3. Submit it promptly
Try sending the thank-you letter within a few days (or weeks, at the latest) of receiving your gift. This way the person who gave it to you will know that they received it and that you are very grateful. Waiting too long is rude, especially if the gift was sent by post. The person who sent it to you may be wondering if it ever got there.
That said, it's never too late to send a thank you note. Even sending it months later, out of the blue, is always better than not sending it. However, if you wait that long, make sure you write a long and beautiful letter
Advice
- Your thanks should be expressed for both tangible and intangible gifts.
- Send your thank you card as soon as possible so the recipient doesn't think you forgot to do so. If you let time pass, mention it in your message by writing "better late than never".
- If you're writing a letter to a friend, you can insert jokes or news to add a personal touch.
- If you are writing a lot of letters, be careful not to make them all the same. Make each ticket personal. It will make more sense this way, and in case two recipients share their letters, it will be clear that each was written with a specific person in mind.
- The word "generous" has become a cliché and people will know if you didn't write it truthfully. If you really liked the gift, describe your feeling in a more original way.
- A thank you note doesn't have to be long, but heartfelt. If the blank space on the page bothers you, use a smaller card.
- Using fine stationery is always a nice touch. If you're thanking someone for a gift given at an event, use cards that match the color and style of the event.
- While a handwritten letter is the best way to express your gratitude, if all you can do is send an email, do it. It will still be better than not having written anything.
- If you have a lot of thank-you letters to write, consider buying a box of cards.
- Include the return address.
