Do you really want to be a socialite? Those you see on television already have wealth and status, they have had it since they were born. You will probably have to start from the beginning. To understand the dynamic, don't go back to models like Paris Hilton or Ivanka Trump. Watch Mr. Hilton and Mr. Trump to see if you are on your way to becoming a socialite. Well it's hard but this guide is for the social climbers out there who want to walk through that door. It will help you take the plunge, then it's your turn!
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Climb the social ladder and make a name for yourself
Step 1. Create the right background
If you already come from a lousy rich family, consider yourself lucky about it.
- Don't denigrate those who don't have all your money, that's pathetic. If you are like 99% of the world and have no more money than Croesus don't lose hope, you may just have to work on it a little. If you and your family are part of a community it will help you so take this into consideration. And let's face it: the Trumps and Hiltons also had to start somewhere.
- When people ask you about your beginnings - and they will - think about the most interesting details to report. Avoid the embarrassing ones and focus on the positive things, even the smallest ones can make a difference and earn you respect. Above all, don't say anything rude to your family - it's a bad guy. Rich people want to be surrounded by people from good families (i.e. other rich people) for one simple reason: they want to be around well-educated people. So if you have good manners and behave well, they won't care.
Step 2. Choose the right education
Preparing to become a socialite starts in middle school. Of course it is possible to become one even if you weren't quite a genius at the time and didn't go to prestigious colleges, but it will be much more difficult.
- If you are still in school, middle school or high school, do your best. Try to get good grades (9 is the lowest accepted, 8 for heaven's sake), get involved in extracurricular activities and get the highest scores on exams.
- Attend the most prestigious universities, whether they belong to the Ivy League (attention: they will also cost you $ 50,000 a year so you have to have the money), or one of the renowned ones in Europe (Sorbonne in Paris, or Oxford and Cambridge in the United Kingdom). However, any private college will do, there are many that while not belonging to the elite, are still prestigious. And if you go to a public school, choose the ones that have specializations in your field. Only 29% of Americans have a college degree or equivalent so having one in general is great. If you can graduate and have a master's degree or something else even better. People will respect you enormously.
- Choose a path that can make you meet more people. Law, non-profit, fashion, finance, art and business are great because they put you in contact with many people from the high society and with celebrities. Non-profit is one of the best faculties because organizations want people with different attitudes so you may find a place and meet people of a certain caliber at events. You will have to work hard to walk this path but it is worth it and you will also need to find an organization that supports what is important to you.
- Remember that even if you graduate in another, you are not penalized anyway. Natalie Portman is a famous actress but guess what she graduated from Harvard? Psychology! I bet you didn't know. The truth is, there are important people everywhere and you can create your own path to a successful career. Do what you want and take advantage of the opportunities you have to meet people with experience in your area.
- Learn a foreign language. French is a must; German, Spanish and Italian help. The more you know the better. You don't have to know perfectly enough to be able to have a normal conversation with someone. Just knowing how to say hello is also fine.
Step 3. Get yourself a well-paying job
In theory, it's easy: start a business and let it develop. Choose one of the fields above - you'll find a bunch of well-paying jobs. Strive to be the best in your field, try to meet famous people as you work and learn the secrets. Start small - you won't be very successful at first. Do a couple of different jobs on the ramp, build an experience then create your own brand. It may take a while but it is worth the effort and you will earn a lot of respect.
Step 4. Learn to promote yourself
Make a website for your company, business cards, get some related brands to support you, advertise in newspapers etc. Especially at the beginning of your career, it is important to know the right people. Establishing a good social network will bring you more business. Go to events related to your field, meet the captains of industry and have them help you.
Step 5. Find someone very rich to marry
Yes: you can also become socialite by marrying the right person, without having to work too hard. You can use your spouse's money to start a business (did you think you could get by without a real job? In the end, you'd be bored to death). Do you think Tinsley Mortimer has always been one of the most important socialites in Manhattan? Wrong. That wasn't the case at all until she married Robert "Topper" Mortimer, a very wealthy banker, and became a designer for the Samantha Thavasa handbag line. So don't worry if you haven't been an excellent student; there is hope for you too. However, don't give up on true love to find a rich one, it would be pathetic and you would get the dowry-seeker label (which nobody likes, trust me)
Step 6. Do your homework
As a socialite, there are some things that are mandatory (emphasis on "mandatory"). For example, the most basic is knowing the names of the most important socialites at the moment. Visit Park Avenue Peerage and learn the names in the "Profiles" section.
Method 2 of 3: Behaving like a socialite
Step 1. Pick a nice name
It must sound very chic, unusual and maybe foreign. Don't get yourself one already in vogue like Vanderbilt for example, because people know it and will eventually frame you. However, if you use your normal personal details, don't worry. Always better to be true to yourself than fake.
Be careful though: you have to match the role. If you have olive skin, frizzy hair and hazel eyes no one will believe you if you say your name is Ludmilla Sarokina. In this case it is better to choose something that suggests Spanish origins such as Isabella Dosantos
Step 2. Learn to care about expensive items
Learn all the big brands from everything: fashion, arts, crafts, cooking, sports etc. In the world of socialites when someone mentions a name, everyone is expected to know it. You also need to be able to pronounce the foreign ones correctly. Perhaps it will be appropriate to start reading specialized magazines.
If you have no idea what luxury is, go to Fashion Net and start looking. This site contains excellent links to the various brands. Try to buy something if you can
Step 3. Break the nouveau riche stereotype
"New rich" is often a term used to describe upper-class people who do not come from a wealthy family but who have achieved status by working rather than by inheritance. You may be looked down upon for it. It's a sad thing, but you can stem it by not following what are in fact stereotyped behaviors. The new rich tend to be extravagant in appearance but it is understandable since they link opulence to happiness; the generations that follow, already growing in wealth, tend not to consider it more important.
- Don't get too excited about what you have; those who really belong to this social class never get too much. Be modest and don't brag about what you have. And never talk about prices.
- Spend wisely. Don't go and buy anything opulent you find - show some class. Don't show your economic status by being extravagant, you will just end up looking ridiculous and prove that you have no experience with being rich. To sum up, don't be a snob.
Step 4. Be sophisticated
Being refined is the quality that separates the stoned celebs from the real elite; lack of sophistication is a crime in that society.
- Cultivate impeccable manners. Do you tend to stuff yourself up, to put your elbows on the table when you eat, do you yawn without covering your mouth? These signs of lack of good taste are unacceptable among socialites. Your ways must be perfect. Buy a well-detailed book on manners and study it by heart.
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Be cultured. Read a lot, go to museums and art galleries, to the theater, meet artists and poets. Remember that it is not acceptable for a socialite not to know everything that is common; if a high school kid knows it, you must know it too. So familiarize yourself again with history, science, geography and art.
Speak correctly. The slang, never; swearing is acceptable. It takes the Queen's English. Sometimes put in a few words of French (for example by calling someone "cheri"). Use formal language both when you write and when you speak
- Be sure of yourself. As glamorous as it sounds, this world is mean and full of gossip and you will need a lot of confidence to stay in it. If you don't consider yourself worthy enough, then you never will be. Not to mention that you will often need witty jokes against those naughty they will make you and an insecure person can never get them ready.
- Be classy and discreet. Avoid doing things that draw negative attention to you, such as being boisterous, getting drunk at parties, flirting with everyone, and swearing.
- Be stylish. It is crucial to have a sense of style, to wear tailored and designer clothes. Everything you wear in public must be branded. Adopt a classy and timeless style; something that looks as good now as it was in the 1950s and as it will be in another fifty years. ladies can be inspired by Jackie O., Charlotte from Sex and the City and Audrey Hepburn. Boys can get by with a tailored suit. You should also have a distinctive look that makes you stand out from others: a love of a certain color, a cute cut, whatever.
Step 5. Travel very.
There are some destinations that a socialite cannot miss: New York (obviously), Paris, London, Milan, maybe Saint-Tropez. Take your time to visit them all.
- The same goes for holiday destinations. Summer in the Hamptons (many famous people have caasa there) and winter in Aspen are a must for the rich. Other expensive and exotic destinations are Hawaii, St. Barts, Dubai, Greece etc.
- Avoid looking like the classic tourist, many people especially locals find it annoying. Don't wear a colorful T-shirt and shorts with white sneakers, a backpack, a hat, sunglasses, and a camera around your neck. Don't buy millions of cheap souvenirs. Don't travel in large groups - family or partner is enough.
Step 6. Be generous
The first thing a socialite needs to be is generous. You should fund at least a couple of charities. The beauty is that any is fine, as well as any amount, be it 30 to $ 20,000. You don't have to talk about how much you give, just mention the cause you support. And as you climb the summit you will be able to give more. Oh, and there are perks like meeting celebrities, VIPs, intellectuals, politicians, artists, and getting free things like access to various places and rooms that are usually closed to the public. For a good example, check out the Metropolitan Art Museum in New York.
Step 7. Socialize
After all, that's why you become a socialite.
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Make friends wherever you go. Whether at the supermarket or at a luxury event, you meet new people on a daily basis. Be friendly, be interested in what people tell you, exchange phone numbers. Don't worry about making a lasting bond with everyone. Keep your circle of close friends small but establish superficial relationships with as many people as you can - you never know who you might meet. Remember: it's all about building a well-articulated social network, many of the "friends" you make will only serve to give you advantages.
Melgio again: making friends with the right people. A little chat with local important people can help. Making a few swear friends after all is what it takes to broaden your own circle
- Learn to plan events, cultivate a taste for flowers, aperitifs, music, etc. As a socialite, you are expected to throw parties in style. When you finally arrive and they ask you to organize some gala, everything will be convenient. Reading Vogue (especially articles reporting events curated by real socialites) should help you develop these insights. Obviously there will be a lot of people who will help you create this event such as your public relations assistant, secretary etc. but see know how to organize everything. Find the phone numbers of the best service providers that are always helpful.
- Be charismatic. Not boring. It's easy, just act like you're having fun. Smile a lot, maintain conversation with others, be vital and energetic. By spending time with other socialites, you will learn a few tricks to captivate those around you.
- Get photographed next to the VIPs. Photos of important people always appear in newspapers and magazines the day after the event and you may find yourself on page six if you have someone important by your side. Don't make it too obvious: don't rush past the VIP on duty as soon as the photographers arrive.
- Try to establish a true friendship with some people. You will always need someone there to help you when you go wrong, someone who won't let you down as soon as you show your less perfect sides.
Method 3 of 3: Surviving the world of the rich and famous is what not to do
Step 1. Don't be a social climber
They are species that are quickly flushed out and excluded from the social scene: their desperation is instantly perceived. Being labeled a climber is the worst thing an aspiring socialite could go through.
- Don't go off your rails just to meet someone. Even if you run into a VIP don't freak out, just be natural and treat him as you would any other person. If there's someone you know from magazines or blogs but they haven't been introduced to you, don't say "hello" right away. Stressing these people's assistants to introduce you or give you their phone number is also to be avoided.
- Don't be desperate enough to want to get into someone's good graces. Putting yourself in the position of inferiority to someone will only make you treated like that. Maintain dignity.
- Don't invite yourself to parties; it's really rude. Not to mention that the entrance clerks probably won't let you step uninvited, plus if the guest notices you you'd be thrown out in a second and you could say goodbye to your socialite life forever.
Step 2. Avoid controversy and scandals as much as possible
Do your best to have a clean public image. No sexy videos, no chatted divorces or public scenes. Be respectable and think morals. Remain upright even when you are dying of anger. If someone has done something to you, find a civilized way to resolve the situation.
Step 3. Learn to manage the gossip
There are evil and bad people but don't let them influence you. Think of the scandal in which you dragged Olivia Palermo that led to the closure of 'Socialite Rank'? Her reputation was ruined but she managed to shut it all down by revealing the identity of who was behind that terrible blog that was Socialiterank.com and to defend her public image.
- Sometimes it is better not to reveal things from your past (only if you are 100% convinced and sure they will not be discovered). Don't give gossip people any more material to keep them from gossiping about you. Of course we are talking about innocent things that could be misinterpreted. For example, if you got your nose done when you were still a stranger, some people might say that "It's totally redone, a plastic masterpiece."
- The best way to silence those who live on gossip is to laugh at it and admit that you are not perfect (even if society expects you to be). By doing this you will acquire admirers and you will always walk with your head held high despite everything they say about you.
Step 4. Don't get lost
In a superficial and materialistic world like that of socialites, it is easy to forget who you really are and where you come from. When you feel like this, take a break and let off steam to avoid becoming a lousy person. Never forget your true values.
Useful links
www.fashion.net/
www.luxuryculture.com/welcome.html
www.style.com/
parkavepeerage.com/
nightoutwithasocialite.com/
