Trust is undoubtedly the most important element in building a lasting relationship. One person trusts another when he feels he can let go, knowing that everything will be okay. In relationships, you have a chance to win people's trust if you're willing to try. It is work that requires commitment and reliable behavior.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Be Reliable
Step 1. Do what you say
One of the most important factors in building a solid foundation of trust in a relationship is demonstrating that words follow deeds. While it may seem like a trifle, if you don't keep your word or do what you say with your actions, you risk ruining your trustworthiness.
While failing a commitment from time to time doesn't seem like a big deal, there is a risk that various and repeated mistakes will accumulate. In the long run, people in your life may begin to question your seriousness
Step 2. Keep your promises
Trust means that people trust you even in long-term situations. So when you make a promise to someone, you have to keep it.
- If you really can't keep your word, explain in person why you are unable to do what you promised.
- Sometimes an explanation may not be enough, especially if the promise was about something important. It will likely be necessary to renew the commitment to recover the relationship. Try to keep the new promise at all costs!
- Don't detract from the commitment you initially guaranteed. As small and insignificant as a promise may seem, realize that the other person can place a lot of weight on it. Any kind of default could be extremely disappointing.
Step 3. Be consistent
An essential part of the concept of reliability consists in respecting the word given over time, in a non-discontinuous way. By definition, a trustworthy person is one you can almost always count on.
Keep in mind that by doing what you say only once or twice, you won't be able to build a solid foundation of trust within relationships
Method 2 of 4: Be Honest
Step 1. Tell the truth
Probably in some situations telling the naked truth, as you see it, is not the right choice. Maybe it's not the best strategy to gain the trust of others. That said, most of the time honesty really is your best bet.
- Perhaps the most important time to tell the truth is when you could take advantage of a lie. If you are able to tell the truth at your own expense, you will demonstrate that the relationship with the other person is of great value to you. Plus, you'll show that his or her well-being matters more than yours.
- For example, imagine that a friend lends you a book over which you unfortunately pour coffee. You could say that you have lost it or you may be looking for another copy and pretending nothing has happened. However, it is important to tell him what really happened. Getting a book ruined isn't a big deal, but the risk that the truth might emerge (or that your friend might know you're lying) undermines the trust he has in you.
Step 2. If you lie, admit it
Sometimes, lying seems inevitable. In some cases, it happens without even thinking about it. If you tell someone a lie, it's best to confess it as soon as possible. Then explain your motives and be honest when expressing your regret.
If you get caught, don't deny. You will only lie a second time and this behavior will further erode trust
Step 3. Speak truthfully
When you have the feeling that you are lying to someone, both to keep them from being mortified and to avoid an unfavorable reaction, find a point to anchor yourself, perhaps by focusing on a positive aspect about your interlocutor and highlighting it in your speech.
- As you speak, rely on that anchor rather than treading your hand on the bad news you are forced to communicate.
- Make sure you offer your willingness to listen. It would be helpful to formulate phrases such as "It seems to me" or "I think", underlining that it is your own impression of the facts. In this way, you will be open to other points of view and will be able to preserve trust in the relationship.
- Here is an example. If you feel the need to tell a friend that she made a mistake, explain what went wrong using neutral, judgment-free language. Focus on her strengths, her value as a friend and, if possible, how she can save the day. Then ask her for her side of the story and listen carefully. However, don't tell her that everything is fine if in reality things are otherwise.
- The conversation might unfold as follows: "Sandra, I think you made a major mistake in your relationship. I see that you have been stressed a lot to carry on this new project. I know that such a mistake does not do justice to either your talent or your skills. your skills. However, I think we should inform the client immediately and submit a new report."
Step 4. Express your feelings
People who report the facts in a stark and crude way are cold and distant. Therefore, this attitude does not inspire confidence.
Surely you will think that it is easier to regurgitate the facts in the precise way they happened based on your vision. However, if you don't show a hint of compassion and understanding, people may think that you take pleasure in the suffering of others
Method 3 of 4: Being Open
Step 1. Offer information
When you have the opportunity to be vague, consider whether it is no longer correct to provide more information. It is often not a bad idea to report further news to show that you are not reticent. Here is an example:
- When a new couple is formed, one partner may ask the other, "How was your day?". The answer could be: "Everything went well". Such a dialogue does not aim to build any trust in the relationship, because there is no real sharing of information.
- Now imagine another answer to the same question: "Well, I went to the doctor's appointment today. I thought it was the usual routine check-up, but the doctor suspects I might have a heart murmur. He said he has no data. final, but he wants me to come back next week for a further exam. I don't know whether to worry. " This response suggests openness and sets the stage for giving and receiving trust.
- In this case, the person you have recently been with may be disappointed that they were not informed of the news announced by the doctor, even if you were not yet sure of the results. Omission destroys the harmony in relationships. For example, you may be apprehensive about the medical exam all week while your partner ignores the reason for your concern. Maybe he'd like to know if there's anything he could do to help you.
Step 2. Don't omit the important details
Furthermore, the main reason why it is better not to overlook the important details is that it is difficult to recall a number of omissions. People will start to notice contradictions in what you say. You will lose your credibility, even if you omit only a few details.
If you really intend to gain the trust of others, give people the information they need or want to know
Step 3. If you have secrets, don't hide them
You shouldn't reveal everything you feel and your secrets just to prove yourself trustworthy. Everyone has the right to manage their personal information. The key to being trustworthy and respecting your privacy at the same time is defining your boundaries.
For example, you might say to someone, "I'm not ready to share my feelings right now, but I assure you you have nothing to worry about." This way, you will give your interlocutor a chance to show that he is an understanding and patient person. More importantly, you will also offer him a sense of security. It is much better than being vague or even false to avoid talking about something personal
Method 4 of 4: Demonstrate Your Integrity
Step 1. Keep the secrets that are confided to you
Never tell a confidence if those who revealed it to you do not want to spread it. You would betray his trust.
Sometimes, we risk missing something when we are under pressure, tired or not thinking clearly. If this happens, immediately admit your responsibilities and apologize. In this way, the person will not come to find out from someone else that you have disclosed private information concerning him and you also have the possibility to limit the damage that could be done
Step 2. Be loyal
Loyalty is the ability to protect others by being on their side. This is true both in their presence and, above all, in their absence.
- Trust is solid when a person knows you are loyal to them. You can also earn their trust by placing your interest in them or your relationship above yours.
- For example, you can win a colleague's trust by holding back after work to help him with a project, even if you don't get any professional credit.
Step 3. Keep your feelings in check
You can gain the respect and admiration of others by managing your emotions. It is difficult to trust someone who is unpredictable or emotionally fickle.
- A study by Fortune 500 executives found that those who express their emotions in a balanced and timely manner are more likely to gain the trust of others than those who behave the other way around.
- For example, try not to go on a rampage when someone makes a small mistake, otherwise there is a risk that their trust in you will fail.
- If you feel upset, be aware of the signals you send out. Try to convey calm and relaxation. Don't clench your fists, relax your jaw and release muscle tension.
- By focusing on your breathing, you can manage your emotions. Try to focus your attention on the sensation of the breath. You don't have to think about the way you breathe or try to change it, just feel it. If you notice that you are always distracted, gently direct your thinking on your breathing.
- If you learn how to use these emotion management techniques, people in your life will feel like they can predict your behaviors. By doing so, you will show that you are emotionally reliable and this will help you gain the trust of others.
Step 4. Avoid aggressive behaviors
Some attitudes can seriously erode the trust others place in you and should therefore be avoided. The actions described below require an effort on your part to regain lost trust:
- Humiliate or degrade the partner;
- Isolating yourself from others;
- Threatening people or physically injuring them.
- Absolutely avoid this kind of behavior. If you make the mistake of mistreating someone in any of these ways, immediately apologize. Promise to do your best and keep your word over time.
Step 5. Use assertive communication
Instead of being offensive or aggressive, try communicating assertively. It means expressing one's needs directly and respectfully, also taking into account the needs and opinions of others.
- Assertive communication means that you say "no" when you don't intend to do something and that you can manage your emotions.
- It also means sharing your feelings and opinions openly, without belittling or bullying others.
- For example, imagine your neighbor is listening to loud music. Using an aggressive approach, you would likely walk up to him, yelling, "Turn down this noise, or I'll call the police, stupid!" An assertive approach, on the other hand, causes you to knock on his door and calmly say, "Sorry, it's getting late and I have to go to sleep early. Could you turn down the stereo, please?" This way you let him know about the annoyance he is causing you, without being offensive or threatening.
Step 6. Promise
If you deceive someone and get caught or if you betray people's trust in some other way, promise to change your behavior in the future. Also, to regain lost trust, you need to keep this promise by acting consistently over time.
- A promise that is not followed by consistent action makes you regain the trust of others only immediately.
- Apologizing by itself has no lasting effect on trust.
Advice
After all, deceiving oneself is tantamount to lying. You may be convinced of your honesty in what you have done or said. However, those who objectively observe the situation may see it differently. Considering reality as you would like it to be does not take into account the way in which others interpret actions taken or words spoken. If people feel that what you say and do is unreliable, their trust in you is bound to break
Warnings
- Falsehood destroys trust. If for any reason you adopt a sneaky attitude, ask yourself what you hope to achieve by doing this, but especially if you like this kind of behavior. You probably won't appreciate it very much. If you are convinced that it is the only way you have to relate to others, then it is time to deepen the knowledge and use of your social skills.
- Sometimes, trust breakers may be suffering from a mental disorder, uncontrolled anger, or similar problems. In these cases, he should consult a psychotherapist for help.
