Sometimes events or situations occur that you want to forget or barely remember. It is possible to pick up an eraser to erase painful, embarrassing, or unwanted memories when life is filled with new and exciting stimuli and you learn to move those old memories into the corners of your mind. The following instructions will help you start living a full life, free from the burden of the past.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Repress the Memories
Step 1. Isolate the memory you would like to forget
Before you can erase a memory, it is necessary to identify it in a specific way to understand the discomfort it is causing. It could be something that causes emotional pain, such as the death of a loved one or a particular moment of your separation, something that causes pain when the mind lingers in it. Evaluate the following aspects of a memory:
- What happened?
- Who was involved?
- Where and when did it happen?
- What else happened?
- What did you feel?
Step 2. Define the memory in terms of stimuli
Make it clear exactly what you want to forget, as specifically as possible.
- You can't forget the existence of an ex, but you can forget dates, events, or even feelings. The fragrance of a particular perfume, the mention of a place or TV show that person liked could trigger the memory. Write everything down in detail.
- If you find yourself dwelling on traumatic experiences in middle school, list by name the people who were hostile to you, the places that caused you suffering and other details that involve the senses: the smell of the canteen, locker rooms or gym..
Step 3. Think about these details as you engage in enjoyable activities
You can use the classic method of conditioning to help you associate an unpleasant memory with something good. Insert pleasant stimuli as you actively think about the bully who tormented you at school, listen to soothing music as you remember the embarrassment felt when your girlfriend left you, or take a hot bath by lighting a few scented candles or have a drink on the porch during a beautiful summer day.
- Your goal is to make these kinds of memories less painful. Just like those who, for example, can no longer eat panettone because their parents separated on Christmas Day, you too will have a hard time remembering how painful certain situations were, if you get used to associating their memory with things. relaxing, enjoyable and interesting.
- Alternatively, some suggest listening to very loud white noises to drown the memory instead of associating it with a feeling of pleasure. Consider surrounding yourself with radios tuned to a disturbed frequency or purchasing white noise generators while meditating on unpleasant memories.
- This may not work for some people, as old memories never really leave the brain.
Step 4. Eliminate anything that triggers the memory
Studies have shown that certain objects or certain images can trigger memories. Hence, it is in your best interest to place objects and photographs elsewhere that force you to confront what you wish to forget. To get these objects out of your sight, you may have to choose another furniture or even move to start over.
Throw away any items that belonged to the ex, including photos, clothing, and furniture. Get rid of the gifts he gave you. While they are associated with "positive" moments, they may lead your mind back to other memories that you are trying to forget
Step 5. Evaluate hypnosis
If you are an easily responsive person to hypnosis, it can be an effective way to forget unwanted memories. Hypnosis works by evoking a highly relaxing state in which some people are more sensitive to suggestions. If you think you might like to try this experience, find a professional in your area.
Unfortunately, not everyone can be hypnotized and even those who have this possibility benefit from the hypnotic effects only for a short period of time
Part 2 of 2: Replacing the Memories
Step 1. Try to think of unpleasant details while doing pleasant things
One way to overcome bad feelings associated with memory is to learn to associate unpleasant memory with positive things. Your goal is to make these memories less painful through positive association.
- Do something that makes you happy while thinking of a bad memory. For example, you might reflect on how embarrassed you felt when you broke up with your partner while listening to music you like. Or, take a relaxing bath with scented candles as you think about when you got fired.
- If a positive association doesn't help, then you can try listening to white noise at high volume as well. You can surround yourself with radios not set to a station, or other devices that generate white noise, as you ponder your most painful memories.
Step 2. Keep busy
The fastest and smartest way to get rid of old memories is to actively form new ones. Even if you are not busy with any activity directly related to what you want to forget, creating new memories will push the ones you don't want out of your mind.
- Find a new hobby.
- Read a new book.
- Watch a movie.
- Look for a new job.
- Make new friends.
Step 3. Fill your mind with similar stimuli
Studies have shown that it is also possible to replace a memory you want to forget by building a new one. Try to have positive experiences similar to the ones you intend to erase from your memory. The mind will begin to follow its paths and will no longer be able to clearly distinguish the initial memory, because it will have to compete with the new ones, the analogous one. For instance:
- If you want to forget the trip you took to Florence, consider visiting other cities. Go to Rome, Milan, Siena, Bologna, Venice, Verona, Turin and buy new T-shirts, take more photos and eat in restaurants that can cloud the memory of Florence.
- If your ex's perfume gets stuck in your mind, go to the perfumery and smell as many fragrances as you can, "clogging" your mind and sense of smell with new, different smells.
- Go to new appointments. It is very useful to build new memories with new people to forget those that belong to the past.
Step 4. Consider talking to a therapist
If you cannot forget or overcome certain negative feelings due to a bad memory, then it may be a good idea to seek the help of a good therapist, who can help you cope with your emotions regarding your memories, so that you can get on with your life.
Advice
- To get rid of memories, you can replace them with others by thinking of something different, a context that makes you feel better.
- Try closing your eyes, meditating and imagining the scenario of your memory in a different way. For example, if during meditation you want to forget a situation in which you felt embarrassed, imagine that you are in the same place, in the same context, but acting differently, in the way you should have.
- Meditate and listen to relaxing music. Just focus on the memory. It can be hard to stay calm if it's painful, but the goal is to relax and not get angry. After about half an hour you will find that you forget about it. You will realize that it would no longer make any difference in your life.
- It is often helpful to listen to an audio book while actively focusing on its story. Look for something light-hearted, interesting, and distracting. This is a simple technique but it works most of the time.
- Be patient. Each method takes time and repetition to produce the desired results. Don't be discouraged by failures, but move on. Ask for help if you feel it is necessary.
