Deep friendships are an important resource in everyone's life, but in some periods you can find yourself without close friends. In these cases, you can manage yourself by learning to be understanding with yourself and getting used to accepting moments of loneliness. It will certainly be difficult, but you should adopt a positive attitude and prepare yourself to receive the support of others. Finally, don't be afraid to get involved in meeting new people. Remember that anyone can be a potential friend!
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Coping with Loneliness
Step 1. Be understanding with yourself
In other words, you need to treat yourself with love, respect and kindness. If you are having a hard time, realize that you are not alone. Loneliness is something everyone feels at some point in life. It doesn't mean that you are a weird or flawed person. In fact, it is a human feeling!
- Remember it's just a feeling. It doesn't define your personality.
- Think about how you would treat someone you love when they are in pain and do the same to yourself. Begin speaking kind words towards yourself, as if you were speaking affectionately to someone you love.
- Don't hesitate to have a kind gesture towards yourself, like a pat on the back or a hug. It might seem a bit strange, but it's an attitude that can cheer you up.
Step 2. Analyze the sense of loneliness
Loneliness is very painful. However, it is important to understand and deal with this feeling instead of repressing it. Take your time to evaluate what you are feeling. Notice if you have a lump in your throat, a tightness in your chest, and a feeling of emptiness in your stomach. Then try to overcome these feelings.
- If you feel the need to cry as you process all of this, don't hesitate. You don't have to be ashamed of expressing your emotions. In fact, you may feel better after a good, liberating cry.
- Working through what you are feeling doesn't mean brooding. Instead, to get over it, take the time to analyze and understand your feelings.
Step 3. Focus on your long-term goals
If you are feeling lonely, you may want to put your energy into achieving certain long-term goals. Do you dream of graduating? Try to get good grades and commit to being a bright and participatory student in class. If you've always wanted to travel around Europe, try to save the money you need.
- Write down your goals and come up with a plan to achieve them. You will have a better chance of reaching them.
- If they are too big, you risk getting discouraged, so divide them into small daily tasks. If you want to work on a novel, try writing a few pages every day.
Step 4. Spend your time on activities you enjoy
Having fun alone is not an impossible feat. Just spend some of your daily time on the things that excite you. Maybe you love writing, hiking or painting. By engaging in something you enjoy, you can improve your mood and get to know yourself a little better.
Try going to a concert of your favorite singer by yourself. It may sound strange, but once you get there, you won't feel so left out. After all, all the people present have one thing in common: they are there to attend the performance of the same group or artist
Step 5. Create a video to post on YouTube
If you're feeling lonely, shooting a video and posting it on YouTube can be the right way to communicate with the rest of the world and share your thoughts and feelings with more people. Whether you want to make a fun rant, sing a song or show off your talent as a juggler or makeup artist, you will be able to fascinate many people if you make a compelling movie.
The YouTube community is full of potential friends! There is a chance that users will be captivated by your video and leave pleasant comments, creating a relationship of friendship. Alternatively, you can get to know someone by watching and commenting on other videos
Step 6. Start a blog
Creating a blog is the right way to share your passion for a topic with the rest of the world, deepen it and become part of a community that shares your interests. Find something you are really passionate about, like football, yoga, fashion, and start writing!
- Many bloggers manage to create a community of friends when other people read their posts and connect with them.
- You don't necessarily have to tell others about your blog or post if you don't want to.
Step 7. Take an online course
Distract yourself by investing your energy in learning something new! Find out if there are free online courses made available by universities. You have probably already graduated or have chosen a specialization, but on the web you can find a lot of courses, from microeconomics to Portuguese history, which will allow you to deepen the studies you are passionate about.
An online course can also give some structure and meaning to your life. If you think your days are empty with no friends, this is a wise and profitable way to spend your time
Part 2 of 4: Staying Positive
Step 1. Pamper yourself
Good personal care can improve your mood and help you feel more relaxed. At least once a week dedicate to something that can relax and rejuvenate you physically.
- Anything that allows you to nourish your mind, body or spirit, such as eating healthy dishes, exercising, getting enough sleep or being in contact with nature is helpful.
- You could also indulge yourself with a massage, facial cleansing, manicure, or a new haircut.
Step 2. Speak positively
It's easier to be uncompromising with yourself when you don't have friends. You may be thinking, "I'm useless" or "No one will ever love me". These claims are not only false, but also counterproductive. Having a positive inner dialogue means addressing kind words towards yourself and countering negative thoughts with others that are more constructive.
- If you are convinced that no one likes you, think about the people in your family who think highly of you! Try to think, "Wait, that's not true. I have a family that loves me."
- List everything that makes you a great friend, such as being close to those who need your help. Review this list often when you start to think you are worthless.
Step 3. Develop a positive attitude
You will have some difficulties at first, but there is a good side to everything. It is easy to see all the rottenness around and always put yourself in a negative spirit. So, make an effort to be thankful in various circumstances, such as your health or the sun shining in the sky.
- Start keeping a gratitude journal in which to write down three things at the end of the day that went right. After a while, you will begin to notice that the reality around you is not as bad as you thought.
- Instead of thinking that you are alone, focus on the affection you can give to others! Try smiling at the people you meet on the street. It is very likely that they will reciprocate.
Step 4. Keep a journal
It's a great way to get in touch with your thoughts and understand how they affect your emotions and behavior. By writing a few pages every day, you will give yourself time to calm down and reflect on your life and values, but you will also have the opportunity to reflect on future goals and identify how you can achieve them.
Try rereading it every six months to get a better idea of how much you've grown and changed
Step 5. Train regularly
By keeping yourself physically active, you can improve your mood and feel better about yourself. Living healthily will not only cheer you up and change your outlook on life, it will also help you stay fit. Go out, take a walk or just enjoy the sun and fresh air for a few minutes a day.
You could also sign up for a class at a gym or recreation center. This way, you will also be able to make new friends
Step 6. Be kind
Kindness is worth a thousand words. You may feel rejected and angry at the rest of the world, but with this attitude you will only push those around you away. Try to be understanding, friendly, and tolerant of the people you see every day. If you develop a kind and positive attitude, you will be more likely to attract equally affable individuals and bring them into your life.
Smile at strangers, open the door for older people behind you or help the kids find the ball they lost while playing soccer
Part 3 of 4: Receiving Support
Step 1. Consult a psychologist
Sometimes, to work on ourselves, we need a little help to allow us to be more open to the possibility of making new friends. Overly negative thoughts and feelings could indicate that there is a problem that requires professional intervention. Sometimes, even socialization difficulties can hide a social anxiety disorder, shyness, or another type of fear that compromises relationships. A psychotherapist can help you deal with these issues and make you feel more confident in building friendships.
Step 2. Spend some time with your family
There is probably already someone you can count on living under your roof: your family members! They can be extraordinary friends, even if you don't imagine them. Spend some time with your parents or siblings, or at least visit them more often. Maybe you are convinced that they are not people able to provide you with support and help in the most difficult moments, but in reality they can and how!
Kick off a fun new family tradition, like a weekly game night or pizza on a Friday
Step 3. Adopt a furry friend
While it cannot replace the presence of people, it is an extremely faithful companion, capable of relieving stress and filling your days. Try going to your town's animal shelter and picking a dog or cat. Moreover, a four-legged friend can allow you to socialize! It will be one more reason to go out and talk to other hosts you meet on the street or in the park.
Part 4 of 4: Finding New Friends
Step 1. Start conversing
You will probably have a myriad of potential friends around, but you don't know how to get close and connect with them. After all, it can be pretty scary to take the initiative. However, don't doubt yourself - you can do it! Take a deep breath and ask someone you don't know about their life or comment on the context you are in. Generally speaking, people love to talk about themselves and their interests, so look for some clues that will allow you to open them up.
- For example, suppose you are standing in line at the supermarket checkout and you see a guy playing with his smartphone in front of you. You might say, "You look really good. What is this game all about?"
- Try formulating a question that involves a detailed answer rather than a dry reply with a "yes" or "no".
- For example, a good open-ended question might be: "You said you like skiing. What do you love most about this sport?".
Step 2. Don't shy away from social situations
If you are feeling lonely or unsure of your social skills, you will likely be tempted to turn down invitations to parties or other events. However, these are great opportunities to make friends. Even if you are upset, have a nice pep talk and go to the party organized by office colleagues or your cousin's maternity party. It's a risk worth taking if it allows you to meet new people!
Simply being surrounded by people can help you be more likeable to them. It's called the simple exposure effect. Choose a public place, like a bar or coffee shop, and hang out there. Who knows? You may be friends with employees or other customers
Step 3. Be positive when interacting with others
People feel attracted to those who emanate positive energies. So, always express yourself in kind ways. Gossip, while funny at times, doesn't allow you to make good friends. Also, don't forget to smile! You will give the impression that you are more friendly and helpful.
- People love people who can make them feel good, so try to be encouraging and compliment them.
- For example, you might say, "Wow, your volunteer work in the shelter is amazing. I'm really impressed! Can you tell me more about this job?".
Step 4. Share your interests with others
Having other people around can improve your mood and attitude. If you play a sport or hobby, attend events that are organized throughout the year, meetings and competitions. In these situations you will be surrounded by people who cultivate the same passions as you, so it won't be difficult to start a conversation: just chat about the interests you share with others!
- Don't be afraid to join a class or association that offers something you've never done before, like acting or bowling. You can meet many people who like you have no experience and approach them facing the same challenges and making the same mistakes, maybe even funny ones.
- If you feel reluctant, do things slowly, but don't allow fear of rejection to keep you from building bonds with interesting, like-minded individuals.
Step 5. Find people with common interests on the Internet
Even if you struggle to make friends in everyday life, you can always find someone on the web who shares your opinions, your ideas and your passions. Virtual friendships are not as intimate as those in real life and do not help to make loneliness disappear entirely. However, they help you interact with others and pass the time.
But don't let virtual friends stop you from making friends in real life. Also, be careful when meeting someone you met on the Internet
Step 6. Volunteer
Lending selfless help to your community is an excellent way to meet new people and make yourself useful. Helping those less fortunate will allow you to step out of your protective shell and change the way you view life. You may become even more grateful for everything you have.
