As Winston Churchill said: "Fanatic is one who cannot change his mind and does not intend to change the subject." If you've decided that you don't like the topic of the current conversation, or feel that the person you're talking to isn't comfortable with, you have several options to steer the conversation in a new direction.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Moving to a New Topic
Step 1. Prepare in advance
If you know that you will find yourself in a situation where you will have to talk to several strangers, think about 2-3 good topics for pleasantries in advance.
Choose themes that may be of interest to a wide variety of people: hobbies, sports and technological gadgets are a good starting point
Step 2. Focus on the other person
Since people like to talk about themselves, focusing on the other person can make it easier to change the subject.
Choose a topic that you know is important to your interlocutor. Examples include hobbies, an upcoming event, or a business project
Step 3. Give a sincere compliment
It's a sweet way of changing the subject that can be used regardless of who you're talking to. Find a detail related to the other person's jewelry, shoes, or clothing and say something nice about it.
You can also expand the discussion by asking for additional information about the item or feature you are complimenting on. For example, you can ask the other person how he got such a perfect tan
Step 4. Try a brusque approach
If there is a moment of silence in the conversation, change the subject completely instead of returning to a previous topic or trying to move on to another subject more gradually.
Try starting a conversation with a question like, "What's the strangest job you've ever done?" or: "If you could have dinner with any three people, who would you choose?"
Step 5. Consider the type of relationship you have
In deciding which topic to divert the conversation to, think about the type of relationship you have with your interlocutor. Are you trying to change the subject in a conversation with your colleague, someone you just met, or your mother-in-law? The more intimate the relationship you have with that person, the more possibilities you will have in choosing the topic.
- Stick to pleasantries with strangers. Since you don't know the person in question, you can't know what kind of arguments to avoid. Climate is almost always a safe topic.
- If you are looking to get to know someone better, exchange some information. For example, ask him why he is at the conference you just met at.
- You can exchange views with friends and colleagues. If you'd like to change the subject, give your opinion on a related topic. For example, if your friend is complaining about the food in your chosen restaurant and you want to change the subject, ask something like, "Isn't this music weird?"
- You can discuss feelings with close friends and family. Emotions are a particularly intimate topic, but they are a valid topic if you are trying to change the subject with your spouse or sister. Ask the person how they feel about something you have discussed previously.
Part 2 of 3: Using External Distraction
Step 1. Focus on the present situation
Talk about the place you are in: the furniture, the landscape, the event, the city, etc.
- Give your interlocutor something to think about. Ask, "How many people do you think there are in this place?"
- Report something unusual about your surroundings. For example he comments: "Did you notice that huge dog over there?"
Step 2. Expand your audience
Another way to change the subject is to involve a new person in the conversation. You can introduce your interlocutor to someone you know or ask them to introduce you to someone.
If neither of you knows any other people at the event, suggest that you head over to a lively group and introduce yourself
Step 3. Apologize and walk away for a moment
You can tell the person in question that you will be back soon if you like to keep chatting with them. A few minutes' break will be a natural reason to change the subject.
Use a trivial excuse. Go to the restroom or buffet or go get some fresh air
Step 4. Pretend a phone call
You can ask a friend to call you at a certain time with a potential "emergency". There are also applications that can do this automatically.
- This can be a particularly useful technique on a first date.
- You can always decide to continue the conversation, but the interruption will give you an excuse to change the subject.
Part 3 of 3: Changing Speech in a Subtle Way
Step 1. Make small changes
Instead of changing it abruptly, you can shift the topic of conversation by gradually expanding the topic you are talking about.
Use "word associations" to jump from one topic to another. For example, if you have been discussing skiing or snowboarding for too long, go on to talk about the weather in the north of the country - it will eventually lead you to talk about the weather in the south as well
Step 2. Use the "Yes, but" method
You can build a bridge between one topic and another by agreeing with your interlocutor and then using the adverse conjunction "but" to move on to a new subject.
- For example, if you don't want to hear about cars anymore, you can say: "I like fast cars, but I actually prefer to run fast!"
- Other transitional words, or phrases, are: "Reminds me of …" and "Anyway …"
Step 3. Ask questions
Get help from your interlocutor to change the subject. Listen carefully to what he is saying and ask questions that can lead the conversation in another direction.
Ask open-ended questions, those whose answer cannot be "yes" or "no". Start a question with "Who / What / When / Where / How / Why" for a more detailed answer
Step 4. Return the conversation to a previous topic
Maybe you just rambled. Reintroduce a previous theme with a phrase like: "I'm very interested in what we were talking about before: can you tell me more?"
Warnings
- Avoid becoming the main subject of the conversation yourself too quickly.
- It is best not to give advice, unless the other person is asking for it.
