However happy you may be with your partner, you are still only married - undead. There are a lot of attractive people around and sooner or later you may be tempted to cheat on your partner. This feeling is very common and does not necessarily mean the end of the relationship; There are several ways to manage attraction to other people outside the relationship and to keep any kind of desire for betrayal at bay.
Steps
Step 1. Ask yourself why you are tempted
The most common reasons include a boring sex life, frustration with some aspect of your relationship, or just the idea that your neighbor's garden is always greener. Relationships are like flowers - you have to water them and take care of them, otherwise they will dry up and die. Perhaps, over time, your relationship has gotten a little flat and monotonous and it's time to add some chili! Identifying the reasons for temptation is a very important step in learning to manage these feelings.
Step 2. Discuss the problem with your partner
For example, if you believe your sex life is monotonous, discuss what new activity you might try together. Or, if you simply like the other person's attention (if they reciprocate your attraction), let your partner know. Sometimes, life leads us to fail to show our other half how much we appreciate them: if your partner is immersed in a tedious cycle of problems and commitments such that they no longer have time to remember how much they love you and how important you are, it's time to change course. Your relationship needs to be refocused and both of you will need to make an effort to heal it so that you can feel relaxed, comfortable, loved and desired in "home" again.
You may also decide to experience an open relationship. In this case, you will need to have a very serious discussion about the rules of this type of relationship. These relationships are difficult to sustain because, typically, one member of the couple thinks the other is taking advantage of them. Either way, if you think this might work for you, it's worth having such a discussion
Step 3. Think about the worst thing that can happen
If you give in to temptation, what would you lose? Do you own a house together? Do you have kids? How would you feel about losing all of this? Your life would change dramatically, practically overnight. You may no longer be able to spend the same time with your children. You may no longer be able to live in your home. (Let's face it: it's the traitor who has to go away. It's not fair to cheat; if you do, your partner is the injured party). Without thinking about the person who attracts you, think about how you would feel if your partner was killed or if he left you and you were the one left alone. How does it feel to lose the person with whom you have shared so much of your life in the past years?
- Is the temptation worth the risk of losing everything dear to you? Not only this, but also consider the loss of respect from your friends, family, colleagues and your entire community in general when it comes to the surface that you have been unfaithful. It is difficult, if not impossible, to go back and often your family will be hostile to the new person for a long time.
- If you have children, think about the example you are setting them. If you decide to have an affair, you will teach your children that it is normal to break wedding vows and that marriage and family are not important. Also, since you will have to leave home, you are depriving them of a family stability that includes both parents.
Step 4. Make a list of your partner's best qualities
Focus on what you loved about him / her. For example, you might like her jokes or acts of kindness. You can also make a list of his physical qualities. Thinking about these traits will help you remember why you are attracted to this person.
Step 5. Think about the positive things in your relationship
Your partner may encourage you to try new activities and take part in them, or be a great listener. You may have a long history behind you, with memories that bind you inextricably: you may also have a good relationship with his family and you may not want to ruin it.
Step 6. Spend quality time with your partner
Don't sit and watch TV or play video games by letting me watch you. Talk. Try new experiences. You go to the movies and go out to dinner or to a bar to talk about it - you know, things like what you did the first time you went out together.
Step 7. Avoid any compromising situation
Since you know you're attracted to another person, make sure you don't find yourself in situations where things could slip out of your hands. Do not drive or meet, do not stay at work late with him / her, do not exchange phone numbers and do not add him / her to friends on Facebook. Try not to have interactions when you are alone: never. It is possible that your partner is aware of the situation: he will control you. If you want the relationship to survive, you will need to keep your partner's trust in you not compromised. Don't put yourself in a bad situation just to get a chance to be alone with an attractive person.
Step 8. Remember who you are
Are you a traitor? Are you an unfaithful person? A liar? A fool? If the answer is no, don't act like you are. You are what you do. If you think you are a good person with noble feelings, remember that such a person does not cheat or lie just to feel good or special, or just to be with someone. If you think you are a good person, but do bad things, then you are a bad person. So remember who you are. If you are a good person, do what a good person would do in your place: resist temptation, and if you realize your reason for trying it is because your relationship with your partner is having problems, take the steps. necessary to fix or end this relationship before taking advantage of the temptation offered by a new person.
Advice
- Cultivate an environment in which you and your partner try to make each other's life more enjoyable. If you wake up every morning and think "what can I do to make his life better today?" you will find a way to do it. And you may be surprised to find that the more attentive you are to him, the more likely he is to reciprocate your attitude.
- Treat your other half with consideration, respect and kindness, and remember to return favors.
- Leave small notes, for example in her purse or lunch bag. Greet them at the door with a romantic kiss, and remind them that you will miss them while they are at work. A gentle and romantic greeting should create an atmosphere in which romance in the home always abounds. If your relationship is romantic, fun and full of good feelings and affection, it is difficult to be attracted to a beautiful smile or another person's face, because you will always remember that beautiful smile waiting for you at home.
Warnings
- Even dwelling on the thought of acting on attraction to another person is risky. It would be better to stop these thoughts immediately: for example, if you are assailed by the thought of his / her face, replace it with that of your wife / girlfriend or husband / boyfriend, and think of ways to show that you love him / her, such as buying flowers by returning. at home or hugging them and reminding them. Each time you do this, you will set yourself on the right path.
- All of these tips assume that you want to keep your relationship going. If you are having trouble finding qualities in your partner that still attract you or if you are really frustrated, you may want to consider ending the relationship instead of forcing yourself to stick with your partner. In conclusion, it is always better and more respectful to end the relationship before taking action towards a new person.
