You dated a man, but you are not interested in seeing him again. How can you tell him that you do not intend to repeat the experience?
Steps
Step 1. Minimize Damage During First Dates
Don't sleep with a man on a first date - especially if you think this person may not be your ideal match! The first date should be an opportunity to get to know the other person and have a chat. You don't have to have sex with him. Frankly, most people can tell within minutes if they're interested enough to agree to go out on a second date - if that's the case, don't even give them a goodnight kiss. Let your relationship be exclusively platonic; be kind, but don't let some sexual tension creep between you. If not, it would be much harder for you to convince a stubborn guy that you're not really interested.
Step 2. Be kind
Even if you think this person is not the ideal partner for you, remember that he is still a human being whose only crime has been to care enough for you to try to get to know you. Always remember this, even if you think this man is boring, too introverted, taken up by his hobbies or simply not your type.
Step 3. Choose the right path
Perhaps this man behaved like an arrogant and unpleasant boor. If he proved he was a fool on your date, remember this is the last time you will need to talk to him. You don't need to make yourself an enemy; just be direct and friendly.
Step 4. Don't beat around the bush
The phone rings: it is he who is calling you. This is not the time to hesitate (postpone to another time). Before the answering machine clicks, answer. Resist the temptation to say something like: "Yes, I'd like to do it again sometime. Why don't you call me back next week? " You may think that such an answer is harmless and vague enough to leave the time it finds, but it isn't. It's a lie and it's the wrong thing to do. If you're lucky, he may just be looking for you to thank you for a wonderful evening. If this were the case, answer: "That's fine. Thanks to you as well!" However, should they ask you for a second date, read the next step.
Step 5. Face the situation head on:
being direct and honest doesn't mean being aggressive or cruel. Just say, "I think you're a gorgeous guy, but I don't think you're the one for myself. I know your soul mate is out there somewhere. I wish you good luck finding it. " If he tries to convince you to give him another chance, the decision is up to you, but if you are sure of your feelings, tell him: "I'm sorry but I think we don't have enough things in common to establish a lasting relationship. I thank you anyway, though. " This shows firmness and does not raise doubts about your intentions.
Step 6. Stick to your decision
Having second thoughts just because you feel sorry for him wouldn't be a good idea. Often the person in question is a friend of your friend. Your mutual friend tells you that this guy is feeling very depressed about how things have turned out between you or that he has asked him to intercede on his behalf. Being rejected is never a pleasant experience. But making yourself available for a second date would be a big mistake on your part, because then you'd have to start over. Stand firm regarding your decision and tell your friend the following: "He is lucky to have a good friend like you who cares so much about him. If I dated him again, though, it would only make things worse.. He's not a bad person, but he's definitely not my type. Better leave things as they are. " If your friend insists, say, "You're a good friend, but it can't work. Tell him I wish him luck and let's stop talking about it, immediately."
Advice
- You don't have to justify yourself! Tell him he's not your type and leave it as it is. Wish him well and break off relations.
- Answer his first two calls. Refusing to talk to him would only exacerbate the situation. Be firm and after the second call tell him: “Marco, thank you, I'm flattered. But you have to understand that I'm not interested in going out with you again. Okay? "Don't be offensive or rude, but be firm. Then let the answering machine go off and don't answer his calls; don't even reply to any text messages. Marco will surely understand this message.
- Think carefully before saying "we could just be friends". Many people are able to interpret this gesture correctly for what it is: a vain attempt on your part to lighten your conscience, providing the other person with a consolation prize. Worse still, Marco, he may take you literally and hope that by becoming friends, it will only be a matter of time before he manages to win you over.
Warnings
- The best thing is to do it over the phone. It would be better for him to be able to suffer in the privacy of his home.
- If Marco persists in persecuting you by continuing to call you repeatedly after you have asked him not to, call the police to inform them of the incident and, if necessary, request a restraining order. It is important to follow the correct procedure in case Marco turns out to be a psychopath. This rarely happens, but it has already happened.
