There are several places where it is possible to abandon a newborn baby who, for various reasons, cannot be kept with you. Leaving the child in a place designated for this purpose will not commit any crime, as long as the child is healthy and does not show signs of neglect or abuse. To find out how to abandon a child you don't want or can't keep with you, read the following steps.
Steps
Step 1. In the past, the famous Exposed Wheels were used to abandon babies
These structures were equipped with a rotating mechanism divided into two parts, inside which it was possible to leave the baby without being seen from inside the building. The wheels were frequently set up in convents and monasteries; however, they were abolished during the 19th century. Nowadays, in fact, it is possible to legally abandon a child in different ways and a lot of secrecy is no longer necessary.
Step 2. Decide who will abandon the baby
In most cases, the mother herself will make this choice, especially if the baby is delivered in hospital. If the child is left in another place permitted by law, however, a family member can also take care of it.
Step 3. Choose where to leave the baby
The places where it is possible to abandon a child without being legally prosecuted vary from country to country. In Italy, in addition to the most common hospitals, it is important to remember the presence of the so-called Cradles for Life:
- Police stations and fire stations. These are almost always safe places. In these cases, the child must be left with an employee on duty.
- Hospitals. Some hospitals require that the baby be delivered to a specific section within the facility, while others allow the baby to be left to any adult working in the hospital. In some cases, you can even leave a newborn at the hospital where you gave birth, making sure an employee knows you won't be back.
- Churches. The law typically requires that the child be left inside and that people be present in the church at that time.
- Medical centers. In these cases the laws are very clear: children can be left in medical centers during working hours and only with a shift employee of that medical center.
- Adoption agencies. It is not very common to leave a child in an adoption agency, but in these cases the child must be handed over to an employee of the agency during normal business hours.
- Cradles for Life. They are real cradles constantly monitored by a camera, aimed only at the cradle to ensure the anonymity of those who leave a child there. Once the newborn is abandoned, help will arrive immediately and the Juvenile Court will start the procedures for adoption. The Cradles for Life are present in several Italian cities. A complete list can be found on the Italian Movement for Life website.
- Other. In some cases, the parent is allowed to call emergency services and abandon a child to an emergency medical technician or 118 employee, or leave the child with an employee in a birthing center, institutional infirmary, or other facility medical.
Step 4. Choose whether to leave some information or memories with the child
In the event that abandonment occurs later than the birth, it is possible to leave some important information on the health of the child, such as his birth certificate, or documents relating to important diseases present in the family of the father or mother. You could also choose to leave a letter for your child, which will be attached to their adoption file and will be made to read in due course.
Step 5. Prepare to abandon the baby
Remember to make some simple preparations before leaving the baby, such as:
- Feed him. Make sure your baby is well fed and doesn't need to eat for the next few hours.
- Give him a bath. Wash your baby's body and hair thoroughly with baby shampoo and soap.
- Change his diaper. Don't forget to put some irritation cream on him.
- Dress him appropriately. A good rule of thumb to keep in mind is to dress your child as you would. For example, if it's cold outside and you're wearing long pants and a sweater, dress your baby the same way.
Step 6. Abandon the baby
Remember to carefully follow the rules provided by law, to leave it in a safe place and have no legal consequences.
- Remember that you can leave the baby blankets, bottles and toys you bought for him, as well as a note stating his name, if you gave him one.
- Think a lot before making this decision. Often choosing to abandon a child is a decision taken in total autonomy, either due to lack of means or vocation, either because of the mother's age too young, or because of a difficult family situation. In these cases, a woman is fully free to decide what is best for herself and the baby. If, on the other hand, you think that the decision to abandon your child may be imposed on you from the outside, consider asking for help from an external association, even during pregnancy.
- In all Italian regions, for example, there are Assistance Centers which aim to provide help and support to women who have difficulty carrying their pregnancy to term or keeping their child, often because they come from a context of violence and abuse.
Advice
- Don't feel judged. If you think that abandoning your child is the only way to guarantee him the peaceful life that you, for one reason or another, think you cannot offer him, do not let the prejudices of society lead you to hesitate.
- Remember that you have every right to remain anonymous.
Warnings
- The right to anonymity and non-prosecution at a legal level obviously falls in the event of proven evidence of abuse or negligence on the child.
- Remember that abandoning a child is legal only and only in places provided by law. Any other form of abandonment is legally punishable.
- It takes nothing to ensure a safe life for your child and an anonymous choice for you. Don't get rid of him by risking his life: there is no need.
