In some cases, life plays a trick on you. You are at a social function, and before you know it, there is movement in your pants. It has happened to everyone: it's very embarrassing, and the more you try to get through it, the worse it seems to get. Don't be afraid. You can bend an unwanted erection to your will if you know the right techniques. Read on to learn how to become a snake master!
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Part 1: Hiding an Erection
Step 1. Change location
Whether you are standing or sitting, you will usually have the ability to position yourself to hide what is happening in your lower parts.
- Standing: try not to remain in profile with respect to anyone. A bulge in the groin area is much less noticeable if you are facing someone.
- Sitting: try to cross your legs without attracting attention. When men cross their legs, the fabric of the pants in the groin area usually swells, offering coverage for your problem.
Step 2. Put your hands in your pockets
This is a perfectly natural gesture, and therefore this solution is used a lot. Put both hands in your pockets so as not to arouse suspicion, and gently hold the erection close to your body, trying to move as little as possible.
Step 3. Cover the groin area with something
Maybe you don't have pockets in your pants, or it's impossible to change positions. In this case, look for something to put over your crotch area to hide your arousal. Try to cover yourself with:
- A book or one magazine. Pretend you're hooked on an interesting article (make sure you don't pick a women's magazine, or you'll be found out) and put the book or magazine over your legs.
- A table. If you are seated, move your chair as close to the table as possible, without attracting attention.
- A garment. If you have a jacket or sweater, pretend you're looking for something in a pocket, then leave it on your lap naturally.
Step 4. Hide the erection below the belt
Use your hands from inside the pockets to lock the erection behind the belt. Warning: if you are in front of a group of people, only try this move if you are experienced. It is much better to find an excuse and walk away, or turn around, and perform the movement when no one can see you.
Step 5. Create a distraction
Again, you can only do this if you are experienced, because creating a distraction the wrong way can focus attention on you, with potentially disastrous results.
At the right moment, say something like, "Wow, look at that naked man covered in hair spinning little dogs in the air while riding a unicycle!" and run away when everyone has turned their heads
Method 2 of 2: Part 2: Taming Erection
Step 1. Find ways to distract yourself
It's easier said than done, but if you can find a way to distract yourself, you're half the battle. Focus your thoughts on something important, irreverent, or very strange. It's hard to really think and get an erection at the same time.
- Think of something very important. If you are of a certain age, think about bills or deadlines. If you are young, think about your parents; it's a guaranteed way to make it go away.
- Think of something irreverent. Try to imagine something very funny.
- Think of something strange. The stranger the better. Some people think of cobwebs, clowns, or the inconceivable size of the universe. That might be enough.
Step 2. Take a walk
When you walk, your body is forced to pump blood into your limbs to make them move. That's why taking a good walk could make your unwanted erection go away. Try muttering something to the people around you and walking away. Girls will think you are very mysterious.
Step 3. Put something cold on your legs
Most people don't carry ice cubes with them, so it may be difficult to do so. However, cold objects will squeeze the blood vessels that carry blood to the penis, letting the arousal pass.
Step 4. Find an excuse to go to the bathroom
When in the bathroom, wet your face with cold water and jump if no one is looking at you. Think about your parents or a very unattractive person.
Step 5. Whatever you do, don't get more excited
Don't rub your penis against your hand or other object, don't imagine anyone even remotely attractive, and don't fixate on your unpleasant situation. By following all the steps the problem will disappear quickly.
Advice
- When getting dressed, make sure your penis is pointed upward when you put on your panties. In this position your penis will be able to harden and lengthen without attracting too much attention and without hurting you.
- The most effective way to solve the problem is to bite your tongue or hurt yourself in another discreet way. The pain will distract you from the erection.
- It strains the muscles in parts of the body away from the pubis to draw blood away from the penis. You can do this with pushups or squats.
- If you've been caught, turn around and go to the bathroom as soon as possible, without running around and attracting too much attention. If you can't do this, try your best not to attract attention.
- Lean forward and keep your knees. Pretend you have a stomach problem. This is usually a great technique in crowded places.
Warnings
- If someone has noticed your problem and finds it offensive, a quick "sorry" with a contrite look is the only possible answer.
- There are some times when it will be almost impossible to avoid showing your erection, for example when you are reclined in the dentist's chair. Do not worry. Many adults know that it can happen and will not give much weight to it. Most teens will make fun of you just because they have suffered the same fate.
