Losing your virginity scares many girls, and the widespread legends on this subject certainly don't help. While some women experience pain during their first full sexual intercourse, you shouldn't be intimidated. You can cheer up by talking to your partner and inquiring about sex. Also, if you create the right atmosphere and use the right tools, your first time will be a pleasant and positive experience.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Developing a Positive Attitude
Step 1. Make sure you are ready to take this step
It is normal to feel nervous the first time. If you are tense when you think about sex or when you are intimate with your partner, maybe you should wait. If you indulge yourself when you believe it's not the "right" time, you probably won't like it and will be agitated during the act.
- Many people grow up with the idea that sex is synonymous with perversion, conceivable only within marriage and right only between a man and a woman. If the thought of having sex stresses you out or makes you feel guilty, you probably want to wait. Try talking to someone about your feelings.
- It is normal to feel self-conscious or insecure about your body. However, if you are scared or unable to undress out of a sense of modesty, you may not be ready to share your sexuality with someone yet.
- Don't be embarrassed about your sexual orientation. Only you can know who you are attracted to and what kind of sexual practices you would like to try.
Step 2. Communicate with your boyfriend
By talking to him, you have the opportunity to build a relationship based on trust that will allow you to have a more positive idea of sex. If he loves you, he will respect your feelings and help you along this path. If it puts pressure on you or makes you feel uncomfortable, carefully evaluate your history and ask yourself if she is the right person to have sex with.
- Before having sex, talk about contraceptive and prophylactic methods. You might say, "I'm taking the pill, but we're going to use a condom too, right?"
- Communicate your fears, expectations, and mood to him. You might say, "I'm afraid I will feel pain the first time."
- If there is something you want to try or you absolutely don't want to do, let it know. For example, don't hesitate to tell him: "Oral sex is not a problem, but anal sex is not."
- Let them know if you are nervous or anxious. If it belittles what you're feeling, chances are it doesn't take your concerns seriously.
Step 3. Talk to an adult you trust
You may feel embarrassed to discuss sex with an adult, but it's important to have someone you can turn to for help. Consider one of your parents, a doctor, nurse, teacher, or older brother. He may give you advice, answer your questions, and provide you with contraceptives. Even if you don't have to openly confide in it, it's good to have someone you can turn to in an emergency.
If you feel compelled to have sex, don't hesitate to seek help from an adult you consider trustworthy. Remember that you never have to indulge yourself if you don't want to. Nobody should put pressure on you by forcing you to do something you don't want
Part 2 of 3: Getting to know your body
Step 1. Find out about sex
Understanding the anatomy of the human body will help you feel more confident, especially if your partner is still a virgin. If you know the male and female reproductive system and know what is normal, what to expect and you will be able to relieve anxiety. Try to consult some sites, such as that of Psychologists Italy.
Masturbation can help you understand what gives you pleasure during intercourse. Before making love to your boyfriend, try experimenting with yourself
Step 2. Find out your hymen
It is a thin membrane that partially covers the entrance to the vagina. Over time it begins to break down due to various factors, such as sports, tampon use, menstruation, or normal movements in daily life. Many believe that rupture of the hymen during intercourse causes pain if the woman is a virgin, but this is not necessarily true.
- The rupture of the hymen will most likely cause blood loss. This can be noticed during and after sex. The amount of blood should not be abundant or comparable to that of the menstrual cycle.
- The rupture of the hymen shouldn't hurt much. Usually, pain during sexual intercourse is caused by friction, which is when you are not lubricated or aroused enough.
Step 3. Identify the angle of inclination of the vagina
Help your partner find the direction to orient the penis correctly at the time of penetration so as not to feel too much pain. In most girls, the vagina is angled forward, towards the abdomen. When standing, it should be at a 45 degree angle from the floor.
- If you're using tampons, pay attention to how you insert them. Guide your boyfriend when the penetration begins so you find the right angle.
- If you don't use tampons, insert your finger while taking a shower. Point it towards your lower back. If it bothers you, move it gently until you find the correct angle.
Step 4. Locate the clitoris
Women rarely reach orgasm through penetration alone. Rather, it is the clitoral stimulation that causes it. Oral sex or manual clitoral stimulation before penetration can help you relax your muscles.
- Try to locate the clitoris before having sex. You can do this by masturbating or by observing the vagina with a mirror and a flashlight. This way you can advise your partner during intercourse, especially if he is a virgin too.
- It is possible to reduce pain during sexual intercourse by reaching orgasm before penetration. Try oral sex during foreplay and before penetration. Your boyfriend could also stimulate her clitoris with her fingers or by using a sex toy.
Part 3 of 3: Feeling Pleasure During Sexual Intercourse
Step 1. Choose a quiet place
The first time isn't going to be much fun if you're worried about being surprised and interrupted. So make the experience more enjoyable by choosing a place and time where there is no risk of someone disturbing you.
- Find the right privacy and a comfortable surface to lie on, but also a time when you are free from commitments.
- Ask yourself if you feel more comfortable in your home or hers.
- If you live in an apartment with other people or share a room, you can ask your roommate to give you a few hours to be with your boyfriend in the evening.
Step 2. Create a relaxing atmosphere
Let yourself go by preparing an atmosphere that allows you to be calm. Tidy up a little, turn off your phone, and eliminate anything that might make you nervous or distracting while you are with your partner.
- Soft lighting, soft music and a pleasantly warm temperature will give you a sense of protection and make you comfortable.
- Consider the time it takes to get ready and make yourself beautiful. This way you will be more relaxed and confident.
Step 3. Ask for consent
Make sure you and your partner are both willing to have sex. If you have any doubts about his intentions, ask him before moving on. Just because he doesn't say "no" doesn't mean you have his consent. He should answer with a sure and firm "yes".
- If she doesn't want to have sex, don't insist. On the other hand, if you refuse to make love, he too should respect your decision and take a step back.
- Consent also means not doing anything the other person doesn't want.
Step 4. Use condoms
Condoms will allow you to avoid unwanted pregnancy and will protect you from sexually transmitted infections. By using them, you will be less upset about getting pregnant or contracting a disease. So, while contraceptives do not defend you against the risk of infections, on the other, condoms offer you additional protection. If your partner refuses to wear it, ask yourself if you should have sex with him.
- There are both male and female condoms.
- The most important thing about condoms is the size. You should buy different types. Try them and see which is the most comfortable. If your teen is allergic to latex, nitrile ones are a great alternative.
- Condoms must be worn before, during and after penetration. In this way, the risk of getting pregnant and contracting sexually transmitted infections will be significantly lower.
Step 5. Apply a lubricant
Since it reduces friction, it will relieve much of the pain. It can also help prevent condoms from breaking during intercourse. Apply it to your partner's penis or sex toy before penetration.
If you bought latex condoms, Not use an oil-based lubricant. It could weaken the material they are made of until they tear or break. Instead, use a silicone or water-based one. Condoms made of nitrile or polyurethane, on the other hand, are safe in contact with any type of lubricant.
Step 6. Don't rush
Try enjoying the moment instead of thinking about the end. Take the time to find out what satisfies you both. Begin by kissing gently and proceed with the rhythm of your passion.
- The foreplay will help you let go by increasing the arousal. In addition, they promote the natural lubrication of the vagina, allowing the partner to penetrate without causing pain.
- Remember that you can stop having sex at any time. Consent is required regardless of the circumstances. If at some point you want to stop or you don't feel like it anymore, you have every right to back down.
Step 7. Communicate your needs
Don't be afraid to ask your boyfriend to satisfy what you need at the moment. If something you like or is causing you pain and discomfort, don't hesitate to tell him. The other person should be willing to meet your needs to fuel the pleasure rather than hurt you.
- If you feel pain, try slowing down, moving more gently, or lubricating yourself better. For example, you might say, "Do you mind if we go slower? I'm hurting myself."
- You can ask him to change his position if the one you have chosen is uncomfortable. For example, if you are above him, you can better control the speed and angle of penetration.
Step 8. Take some care
If you feel pain or bleed, fix the problem before it gets worse. Take an over-the-counter pain reliever, wash away any bleeding, and use a tampon for a few hours. If it's unbearable, talk to an adult you trust or see your doctor.
Advice
- If the pain is severe or bleeding is abundant, see your doctor immediately.
- If you think it's not the right time yet, don't be ashamed to wait. A caring and caring partner cares about how his girlfriend feels. If you change your mind, tell them quietly!
- You will likely feel the urge to go to the bathroom while having sex. It's normal. However, by emptying your bladder before intercourse, you can alleviate this feeling. If it doesn't pass after urination, it could be female ejaculation.
- You should always urinate after intercourse to prevent bladder infections.
- Make an appointment with a gynecologist before starting to have a sex life. It will inform you about the different methods of contraception and sexually transmitted diseases. He might even give you some condoms.
- Always use a water-based or silicone-based lubricant. Avoid petroleum jelly, products that contain oils or other fatty substances, as they can damage latex, as well as cause irritation, pain, vaginal infections and candidiasis.
- The first time isn't perfect for anyone, so don't get too excited. It's okay if it's not going to be very romantic.
- Use a condom even if you have taken another contraceptive. Hormone-based methods of contraception (such as the pill) only prevent unwanted pregnancies, not sexually transmitted infections. It is possible to contract them even the first time.
Warnings
- Don't let yourself be influenced by your partner's insistence. The decision is entirely up to you.
- Don't drink alcohol or take drugs if you are afraid of pain. They could make the situation worse.
- You can get pregnant even after the first time you have had sex. Condoms are effective when used correctly, but if you can, use another method of contraception than a condom.
- If your partner has previously had sexual experiences, you should ask him to get tested for sexually transmitted infections. Remember that they can be transmitted through oral, vaginal, and anal sex. You could get STD without symptoms and infect others in the future. The condom, as well as the dental dam and other methods of protection, reduce the risk of contagion.
- The effects of the contraceptive pill can be altered by taking antibiotics and other medicines. Always consult your doctor before starting any drug therapy to find out if there are any negative interactions with the pill.
