Men and women think and communicate differently. This could be the reason why they often find it difficult to talk about their feelings or needs. Changing the way you communicate to be shorter, more concise, and positive could end fruitless conversations. You will use different methods if you are talking to a guy you just met rather than your partner, boss, or family member.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Method One: Talk to a Stranger
Step 1. Think of a way to break the ice
The hardest part of communicating with a stranger in a social setting is accepting the vulnerability of the situation. For most people, having a pretext to strike up a conversation is a big help.
Step 2. Ask him a favor
If you're at the bar, ask him to hand you a napkin. Ask him if he needs a chair or if he can show you the way to a seat. You will make him talk, without assuming that you like him and want his approval.
Try not to ask him a question that makes you doubt your intelligence. You don't need to "play dumb" to have a good interaction with a man
Step 3. Be curious
Start with a question about a person, event or something. Asking questions allows the other person to talk and can help you find common ground.
Step 4. Give your opinion
When he says something interesting, he talks about something they have in common, for example a passion for a sport or a cocktail. You can also comment on the general situation.
Step 5. Suggest an activity, if both of you are involved in the conversation
You can propose a drink, to change places or to dance, if you want to let him know that you would like to spend more time with him.
Step 6. Avoid being negative or sour
You shouldn't claim that you "hate" something or that you're not having a good time, at least not at the first meeting. It could leave a bitter taste in his mouth to hear you complain for the duration of the conversation.
Step 7. Smile, make eye contact and stay facing him
These non-verbal cues can contribute to conversation as much as verbal ones. Show him that you care about the conversation by nodding or leaning towards him.
Method 2 of 2: Method Two: Talk to the Boyfriend / Husband
Step 1. Take some time to think about what you want to say if it is a serious subject
Scientists have found that men and women approach conversations differently. Taking the time to understand what you mean and doing it clearly will pay off in the end.
Step 2. Eliminate distractions
Never talk to a man about important things while cooking, driving or watching TV. The best time is at dinner, when you are facing each other or while you are alone and spend some time together.
Step 3. Start teasing him if it's a topic he should be prepared for
He has to turn the gears if you have to talk about a wedding, anniversary, or the fight you had the night before, so give him a few minutes to get ready.
Step 4. Start with a positive phase
Men can get defensive if the first thing that comes out of your mouth is negative. Start with something you like.
Step 5. Go straight to the point
The first 5 minutes of conversation should get you to the gist of the discussion right away. Women often pull it off, with subtle allusions that are completely obscure to men.
Step 6. Focus on 1 point or topic
If you don't understand what's bothering you in a situation, it's probably not the best time to talk to him about it. Wait to figure out what you are asking for an answer about or what is not making you or making you happy.
Step 7. Speak clearly
Avoid being passive aggressive as much as possible. Men perceive emotions better than women, so you confuse them if you keep acting and talking contradictory.
Step 8. Ask for exactly what you want
Get right to the point. Be more specific about the same conversation but with a woman.
Step 9. Close the conversation before it gets confused
If you are going around in circles, you are probably not productive and increase the frustration. Short conversations are often the best.
Step 10. Summarize things
If you've talked a lot and about different things, close the conversation by summarizing what you both think. Just like with literary or game summaries, it will help you remember things better in the future.
