You have to be honest with yourself to understand what will make you truly happy in life. There are no two people who will follow the same path to have satisfaction in life, no matter what they have in common, so you have to look deep inside to find out what will work best for you as an individual. This article will help you understand what will make you happy and then give you some tips to achieve this happiness.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Understanding What Makes You Happy
Step 1. Assess your core values
Write down the three aspects of your life that are most important to you and rank them in order of importance. Does your family come before or after your faith in God, if you believe in God? Is it more important for you to devote time to hobbies that make you happy on a personal level or to focus on a career that supports your family financially and ensures a happy life?
By ranking your values and priorities, you will be able to better understand if you are dedicating the right amount of energy to each aspect of your life
Step 2. Make a list of your favorite activities
There are no right or wrong answers, but be honest. Maybe traveling arouses the greatest joy in you, or perhaps a well-cooked meal causes you more pleasure. Maybe you love to talk about books and you should practice literary criticism. Maybe you like being the author of a book and not the one who talks about books written by others.
The list could evolve over time. What makes you happy at twenty may not match what will make you happy at thirty. Don't be tied to the image of "who you are", update the list over time so that it reflects what makes you happy at the moment
Step 3. Avoid relying on material possessions
Owning "things" makes many people happy, but don't be fooled by the idea that only material goods are the basis of joy. You may want a nice sound system because you love music, but focus on your passion for music, not the sound system. Realize that going to concerts, singing with friends and whistling on the drive to work are all equally important elements that, along with a quality sound system, contribute to making you joyful.
Step 4. Practice your meditation
Meditation can be incredibly beneficial for mental health and happiness, and it can clear your head so you can see your priorities more clearly. Although meditation has religious and mystical roots, meditation techniques can be used by anyone to relax and get rid of stress.
- Find a quiet environment, without distracting sounds and activities, a place where you can clear your mind and focus on your state.
- Sit in a comfortable position, such as the lotus position, with your eyes closed and focus on your breath.
- Inhale and exhale slowly, deeply and intentionally.
- Focus on your breath, on the sensation you get as it enters and exits your body. Be completely present in your body at that moment and do your best not to think about anything else.
- Repeat this process at the same time every day to make it a part of your routine. Early in the morning, before going to work, is a good time for meditation as it calms you and prepares you for the rest of the day.
Part 2 of 4: Professionally
Step 1. Make a list of your strengths
The most satisfying jobs are those that make the best use of your strongest skills. If you are an excellent speaker and enjoy giving presentations a lot, you are wasting your talent coding programs sitting behind a desk. Maybe you could be a teacher instead.
- Are you a good speaker?
- Do you work better alone or in a group?
- Do you work best when you are assigned tasks or when you have to direct your projects?
Step 2. Make a list of your passions
Although not everyone can make a career in the field they like best, most people should be able to combine interests with career in some way.
There are many tests you can take to find the types of jobs that best match your interests
Step 3. Imagine your ideal hours
Some people can't bear the idea of working every day from 9:00 to 17:00 in the office. If you need the flexibility to work at your own pace, setting your working hours and starting with a context of your choice, perhaps you need to find a freelance or contract job. Others, on the other hand, cannot imagine the constantly changing hours of a university professor for example, and aspire to the stability and repetition of the working day from 9:00 to 17:00 and the working week from Monday to Friday.
- Ask yourself what kind of hours would best fit your work habits.
- Don't choose freelance work if you slack off and lose focus easily.
- Consider that freelance work and contract work are less stable than normal office work and usually do not offer benefits.
Step 4. Calculate a budget
While you should never choose a job just for the money, you don't want to struggle without ever earning enough to support yourself and your family. Budget for the amount of money you need to keep your family at an acceptable level of well-being.
Search online for average salaries depending on the career path taken. Find out if the job you are thinking about is in line with your budget
Step 5. Don't be afraid to change professions
If you are imprisoned by a job you hate, you may be fantasizing about a job that truly satisfies you, but there could also be a number of factors, including period, pride and fear of economic stability, that could hold you back from finding a job. work that really satisfies you. You have to overshadow everything except professional gratification.
If you want to prepare to change jobs, you should start saving as much money as possible. Changing jobs sometimes means having to start the new job in a lower paid position before you can move up the ladder of success
Part 3 of 4: in a relationship
Step 1. Make a list of your core values
If you are planning to spend the rest of your life with someone, you will want to find a partner who shares your basic vision of life. What are your strongest and most immutable beliefs? Some examples could be:
- Do you want a large family vs. you don't want to have children
- Religious beliefs
- Impressions about marriage and / or divorce
Step 2. Write a list of the characteristics a partner must have
You will never find someone who perfectly matches your complete list of the ideal partner, as a result you need to be realistic about the most important characteristics you are looking for. Prioritize what you are looking for in a relationship and find out what the five most important elements are. Some examples could be:
- Sense of humor
- Good-looking
- Sharing the same tastes when it comes to music or other hobbies
- Appreciate / avoid outdoor activities
- Economic stability
Step 3. Learn to be happy with yourself
Regardless of how great the partner you find, you will never be happy in a relationship until you can be happy with yourself. You will also have a better idea of what you want and need in a partner if you show yourself in the best version of yourself and are happy with it.
Step 4. Ignore the lists you have made
While it's nice to know what you want in a relationship, don't close yourself off to potential partners just because they don't match some preconceived ideas you've written down on a piece of paper. Recognize that you will never find someone who fully fits your checklist and simply be open to spending time with the people you feel you have a connection with.
Part 4 of 4: Family
Step 1. Find out if you want to have children
Some know from an early age that they want to become parents, but it's not such an obvious choice for many. There is nothing wrong with that! Don't allow anyone - parents, friends, society in general - to push you to make a choice you don't want for yourself. Here are some things to keep in mind:
- Do you feel the desire to be a parent? Although it is a desire commonly attributable to women (biological clock, maternal instinct), both men and women sometimes simply feel the urge to form a family. Other times, however, this need simply does not manifest itself.
- Can you afford to start a family? In 2014, the estimated cost of raising a child from birth to majority was 225,000 euros. How much leeway will it give you based on your household income? Will you be able to guarantee your children a good quality of life? Will you retire peacefully?
- Do you understand the reality of being a parent? While most parents claim that children are the greatest joy and success, they also argue how difficult it is to raise a child. As a parent, you will have a responsibility to defend your child from all dangers, offer him the best possible life and interact with others so that he becomes a responsible citizen in the world. You will have to put up with outbursts and lists of expensive Christmas gifts, etc. It's a tough job!
- Remember that women can always freeze eggs if they decide not to have children at the most fertile age. Although it is difficult to get pregnant as a woman's body ages, freezing young eggs gives you a better chance of having a baby if you decide to start a family later on.
Step 2. Decide whether or not you want a large family
If you decide that you actually want to have children, the next step is to figure out how large you want your family to become. Once again, part of this is simply the result of instinct; some people are certain they want a large family. However, there are many practical considerations that you should keep in mind.
- As previously stated, each child will cost around 225,000 euros up to the age of eighteen.
- How much attention can you pay to each child? An only child will receive all the attention that parents have to offer them, but with the arrival of other children your attention will have to extend to the offspring more and more during the growth phase. How much time will you have to drive each of your children to individual activities after school, help them with their homework, listen to them tell their day, etc.?
- How much company do you want your child to have? Even if as a parent you cannot give your child total attention, if your child has many brothers or sisters, he will always have playmates; together they will keep busy and help each other in emotionally stressful times when they won't always turn to their parents.
- Remember that with the third child, you will be officially placed in the minority. With two children, each parent can handle one in a given situation, but with three children, you will have one more child who moves freely.
Step 3. Consider whether you want to be a working or home parent
Although traditional gender roles see men at work and women at home raising children, currently both men and women should feel equally comfortable in each role.
- Childcare for children whose parents work can be so expensive, depending on where you live, that it may not be worth it with the income from your work.
- Would you feel comfortable knowing that other people spend a lot of time raising your children, despite the trust you place in them?
- Do you want to be present during all the fundamental stages of your child's development and would working in the office be an obstacle in this sense?
- Would staying home all day with your child give you a sense of claustrophobia or would it make you feel like you are characterized solely by your identity as a parent?
- Would staying at home keep you away from the passions and interests that you are able to explore every day doing the job you love?
Step 4. Ask yourself what kind of parent you want to be
Despite what the countless books on parenting lead you to think, there is no right or wrong way to be a parent. After all, people have been raising children for centuries without reference guides. However, it is important to think about what kind of parent you want to be in order to be as happy as possible.
- Do you want to be one of those parents who lead their children by the hand in all their decisions and activities or do you want to be a more libertarian parent who lets their children act and learn from their mistakes?
- How involved do you want to be in their education? Will you check your homework every night? Will you assign extra homework outside of class? Or will you leave the task of managing their education to more qualified teachers?
- How are you going to scold your kids when they make mistakes? Would you feel more comfortable in the role of good or bad cop? Another way of looking at it could be: Do you want to be more of a coach who helps make good decisions or a referee who spot and punish mistakes?
- Do you put your children first in front of everyone or does your marriage take priority? What about your personal happiness?
