Having trouble remembering people's names? From time to time, it happens to everyone, but if it's a constant problem for you, it's time to do your best to change bad habits and start listening to others carefully! If you're shy, nervous, bored, or have to deal with people you don't like, it can easily happen that you forget a name, but that's no excuse! There are several methods for remembering these details so you will avoid embarrassing situations and you will no longer antagonize anyone.
Using a person's name to make contact is useful for staying on good terms and perhaps turning that relationship into an important friendship or finding a new business partner! Make up your mind, start remembering everyone's names from today!
Steps
Step 1. You need to understand how important it is to use a person's name
Sometimes, it is enough to understand the importance of this gesture to focus on the name and remember it, rather than being overwhelmed by anxiety, memory problems or lack of willpower. William Shakespeare once said, "There is nothing more sublime than hearing the sound of your name" and his was perfect. When you use a person's name, you create a bond between you because it is a way of recognizing their value and their uniqueness. By doing so, you make the meeting important to both you and the other; in addition, you will put your interlocutor in a good mood and will feel accepted and you will show that you are polite and kind. The first impression is what matters, so using a person's name will give you a chance to impress.
Remember how you feel when someone forgets your name. Nobody likes to be forgotten
Step 2. The most common reason for forgetting a name is very simple:
it's about lack of attention. If you don't listen with interest, you will never remember a name. However, it can happen that you get distracted by agitation, especially when you are concerned about the judgment of others. To solve the problem, all you have to do is pay all your attention to the interlocutor at the moment of the presentation, focusing on him, not on yourself. If you are distracted by the excitement, worrying about finding a good topic for discussion, you may want to practice the occasional conversations, so that you can focus on the name so that you can hear it clearly at the moment of the introductions. You can find some interesting articles to get inspired:
- How to Make Conversation
- How to Find Conversation Topics
- How to Talk to a Stranger
- How to be yourself
- How to be a good listener
- How to believe in yourself.
Step 3. Have them repeat the name if you couldn't hear it right the first time
Nobody expects you to know someone's name if you haven't grasped it. But you have to seize the moment! Request it now, without hesitation, specifying that you do not understand it, so that it is repeated more clearly or more slowly. The second time, listen carefully! This is a great ploy to use if you are overwhelmed by agitation, noise, movement, or anything else distracting you. Either way, you should have realized that someone has said a name, so apologize immediately, asking to repeat it.
- If you don't understand how to pronounce a name, this is the perfect time to ask to repeat it, so that you can say it aloud together with your interlocutor.
- If it's an unusual name, ask them to repeat it letter by letter, perhaps asking a few questions about its origins. You need to be prepared to do the same in case your name is peculiar and difficult to spell or pronounce.
- You can exchange the business card with that person if you deem it appropriate by looking carefully at the name.
Step 4. Use repetition
Repeat the name of the person they introduce to you, ie "Nice to meet you, Mario". It is best to do it slowly, to make it out clearly, including a pause to smile and show that you are really happy to meet this person. Use his or her name during the conversation as soon as possible, including it at the end of sentences or questions. For example, you could say "How did you like dinner, Mario?". Repetition (at least three times) is useful for memorization, as it allows the type of name and sound to work its way into memory.
- Say it at least three times in your mind immediately after hearing it.
- Here are some examples of sentences containing a person's name: "What are you going to do next year, Teresa?", "What do you think, Fred?", "It was a pleasure to meet you, Elisa". Using the name at the time of greeting is an excellent method of impressing the name in memory in the event of future meetings.
Step 5. Make mental associations between that person and other acquaintances
Visualize her in your mind alongside someone you know well who has the same (or similar) name. You can even imagine a celebrity! When you need to remember his name, bring that mental image to mind and rebuild the association. For example: "Mark is a friend of Matt", "Hilda looks like Jennifer Aniston".
It's even easier if you have a mutual friend. Ask your friend's name and you will surely remember it by making this association
Step 6. Examine this person's face or identify any distinctive features
Of course, do it discreetly. Look at the face, hair, and other distinguishing features as you chat. Try to find something that strikes you so that you can easily remember that person, such as uneven teeth, thick eyebrows, deep wrinkles, fine clothing, or any other distinctive or unusual detail. Try to associate the name with these characteristics, so as to impress it in your mind and remember it at the next meeting. For example: "Jenny with the crooked smile".
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Choose the most obvious trait by combining it with its name.
Remember a Person's Name Step 7
Step 7. Ask a friend or partner to help you
If you just can't remember a name, ask a trusted person for help, explaining that you have a hard time remembering names and would appreciate if they came across you; Establish a password in advance to use when you have a memory lapse, so that your friend introduces you again, or puts that person's name in the conversation. Listen carefully!
- You can ask for help from an acquaintance in a discreet way; do it in a secluded place, away from prying ears. A friend or partner may tell you someone's name before introducing them to you, so that you have more time to think about it and fix it in your memory.
- Some examples: "Did you know that Rick is a very good painter?" or "Sara and I also talked about it yesterday".
Step 8. Trust your abilities
It's easy to become aware of your limitations, but don't think about it too much! Don't tell everyone, or you'll become "Ben, the guy who can't remember names". Furthermore, you would subconsciously convince yourself that there is no hope of improvement; then, others would think that you do not bother to force yourself and you would be less sympathetic. Keep working, tell yourself that you are good at remembering names!
When someone says before you "I'm not good at remembering names", aren't you left with an annoying feeling? Don't you find yourself thinking that, in reality, that person doesn't show any interest in you if they don't remember your name? Then react! Neither of them try hard enough, show them that it is possible to improve by remembering their name
Step 9. Write the names on paper
While waiting to improve memorization, write down names in a notebook (smartphone or mobile phone is fine too). When you meet someone new, write their name; do it as soon as you finish talking, perhaps adding a few notes about looks and personality, the place where you met, the date and so on. This way, you can go through your notes every day or every week, trying to memorize the names. For example: "John, met at the office in May. Tall, thin guy with glasses. A little snooty."
Do not write anything during the conversation or in his presence. Wait for the chat to finish, then go to a secluded spot and quickly jot down the name and details. While it's challenging, it's worth it because people appreciate who remembers names
Step 10. Consider requesting a person's name
If you have no way to remedy this, asking for the name again is the only solution. Admit your guilt as politely as possible, saying something like, "I'm terribly sorry, but I forgot your name. Would you mind telling me again?" Remember to smile, but don't give too many explanations or excuses. Don't make a tragedy of it and leave it behind. Most likely, you will never forget his name again!
Advice
- It is not only important to use the exact name, but also the correct job title. Follow the steps above to easily remember professional titles as well.
- Choose a trait that distinguishes a person by associating them with their name.
- It's easier to remember the name of someone you've heard of before. It can be helpful to ask a friend to give you some information about the people they are about to introduce to you.
- Try to remember only the first name, don't worry too much about the last name if you can't remember it.
- Displays the name of that person. For some people it is easier to memorize a name by associating it with a visual memory.
- If you find out their name while talking to someone else, try to keep it in mind.
- If you can't remember a person's name at all, try asking someone else. Do this before you talk to him or after. That way, you should be able to memorize it if you use the proper techniques.
- Try to get at least the initial letter in your mind, so you'll have a better chance of guessing or finding out the exact name.
Warnings
- Don't mention a person's name too many times in a conversation, or you'll look like a weird guy!
- Business people, celebrities and professionals who forget their names tend to pay dearly for this lack. So, if you are on this list, you should exercise your memory!
- The pronunciation of the name gives you some power. Do not avoid doing this, as you will be denying your power. Don't fall into this trap, you risk diminishing yourself in the eyes of others.
- Avoid shortening names. You can't guess a nickname, plus you'd look rude. Even if you overheard it during a conversation, be smart and ask that person what they would prefer to be called.
