During adolescence, the peer group plays an important role in a boy's life, who can be pushed to use drugs, drink and hang out with people he doesn't want, and even change his look and personality. There are many things you can do to avoid and manage the pressure exerted by the group of friends, whether it is to find the right answers to give or to change the behavior towards them.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Responding to Your Peers
Step 1. Decline the invitation
One way to respond to a request is to decline. Say you're not interested right now, but maybe you will be later. That way, the other person is likely to forget about it and won't ask you again.
It works best in situations where you are asked to do something you don't want to do, such as substance or alcohol use. It doesn't work very well in situations where someone wants you to do something for them
Step 2. Say "no"
The easiest way to respond to peer pressure, and often the most brutal, is to say "no". It may not be very pleasant or easy, but it is the best answer. Say "no" and be adamant. By doing this, you will save yourself the trouble of receiving further pressure in the future, as it will send a fairly clear message that you are not interested.
I'm sorry. It's something that doesn't belong to me. You can go on if you want. I don't judge you for that
Step 3. Make a joke
You can also stop a friend's insistence by responding to their requests with a joke. This will show the other person how ridiculous what he asks you to do is and that you have no intention of listening to him. It can be difficult if you are not the type of person who makes jokes easily enough, but with a little preparation you can be ready in any situation.
- "Smoking? And will you end up looking like that old lady who always stands on the street? No, thanks!".
- "Even though I have fun with you, I don't have the ambition to be a part of the Teen Mom series in the next 18 years."
Step 4. Change the subject
When someone asks or tells you to do something you don't want, there are several ways you can respond and avoid the problem. One of them is to change the subject. By doing this, you can postpone the question until you feel ready to answer differently. By avoiding the situation, you could also send the message that you do not intend to listen to a particular request and also save yourself some trouble. There are many ways to change the subject, including:
- "Remembering" something you wanted to tell: "Hey, I almost forgot … did you hear what happened to Mario ?!".
- Ask a question: "Do we want to go see this movie together? I really want to, but I don't enjoy myself alone."
Step 5. Find an excuse to leave
Another alternative is to get out of the situation. Find an excuse for leaving in a hurry. Apologize and walk away, in order to avoid the other person and perhaps even to think about how to handle the problem. There are tons of excuses to use when you want to leave:
- Pretend you need to make a phone call to your parents.
- "Remember" an appointment you need to rush to ASAP.
- "Realize" how late it is and say you are too tired because you did not sleep well.
Step 6. Push back pressure
Another way to find courage that can help not only you, but the other person as well is to push back the pressure they place on you. Try changing their behavior instead of yours. It can be scary, but it will save you from the pressures of others and maybe even help someone you care about.
Cigarettes? I thought you wanted to offer me something better. Come on, nobody smokes those things anymore. They really hurt. Why did you do that? I don't want to see you end up like a tramp with all yellow teeth
Part 2 of 3: Avoid the Problem
Step 1. Pay attention to the people you date
The best way to avoid peer pressure is to stop spending time with people who get involved in similar situations. We often become friends with people who are considered "right" because we also want to be "right", but many times those people don't care about us. True friends understand when you have a discomfort or worry and don't pressure you on things you don't want.
- True friends don't cheer you on, don't ask you to do dangerous things, and don't make you uncomfortable. They love you above all else, even if you don't like what they like. These are the kind of people you should consider friends. The "friends" who judge you or who put pressure on you just want someone to dominate. You deserve better.
- This approach will likely lead you to seek out new friends. The situation may seem sad or frightening to you, but you will be able to cope with it. By finding people who are more like you, you will be much happier and no longer have to worry about being pressured by others.
- Try meeting people who are more like you, paying attention to who does the same thing as you. For example, if you see someone reading a book you like, talk to them about the book. You can recommend some other books that he might like. You will be friends even before you know each other.
- Even if you make new friends, it doesn't mean you need to stop hanging out with old ones. Just spend less time with them or meet them in situations where you are less likely to have problems, so that you don't complicate things.
Step 2. Avoid situations where you risk being pressured by your peers
First of all try to avoid situations where you are subject to pressure from other guys. Some of them seem to be enjoying themselves, but it's much better to stay safe. You never know when someone will decide what is best for you, without giving you any choice (for example, by having you take some narcotic or covertly correcting what you are drinking). Here are some of the most common situations in which to avoid peer pressure:
- Parties, especially if the other guests are older than you or if there are no adults present.
- A date in a secluded place with your girlfriend or boyfriend, which can result in something you may regret.
Step 3. Keep yourself busy doing constructive activities
Another way to avoid peer pressure is to spend your free time doing activities that you like, instead of surrounding yourself with friends who are hounding you. Find other activities to do that distract you from parties or ambiguous places.
- For example, you can take a course on a topic that interests you at a cultural association in your city. If you don't have enough money, you can ask for a reduced rate.
- A great alternative is to find a job. This way you will keep busy, but at the same time you can enrich your resume and earn some money. Not only will you stay away from peer pressure, but very soon you will have the money for a new PlayStation.
Step 4. Find a better way to impress people
Impressing friends is one of the most common reasons people give in to peer pressure. However, if you find a better way, it won't seem essential to submit to the demands made by other guys.
For example, you can start learning a new skill, like mixing music or playing the guitar
Step 5. Don't be afraid to ask for help or advice
The most normal thing in situations where there is peer pressure is that almost everyone experiences them. Even adults. Many people find ways to handle them. By asking for advice, you may discover really useful methods. Perhaps those who know you best will be able to suggest something more specific based on your situation. Just contact a trusted person.
- Talk to a friend. Ask something like this: "Anna is really pressing me to go to this party, but it seems like a very ambiguous situation to me. What do I tell her?".
- Find an adult you trust. Ask something like, "There is a person who wants to take me to this abandoned building and be with me, but it seems very dangerous to me. What should I do?".
Part 3 of 3: Buy Self-Confidence
Step 1. Establish and strengthen your beliefs
Think about why you don't intend to do what your friends ask of you. Do these things conflict with your personal or religious beliefs? Do you think what they ask of you involves too many risks? Recognize why you don't want to do a certain thing and then keep in mind the idea you get when someone invites you to act differently. Additionally, you can strengthen your resolve by reading information that supports your beliefs and talking to those who share it.
For example, if you have no intention of smoking marijuana because you believe it is dangerous, do an internet search and learn about the risks associated with this substance. By doing so, you will have a much clearer picture of the dangers and can warn other people
Step 2. Find other challenging things to do
Many times we put ourselves under peer pressure because we want to impress people or because we want to feel stimulated (or stimulating). However, there are better ways to go to get that kind of feeling in life. Think of something else inspiring you've always wanted to do to try and get out of certain situations. The right kind of people will be impressed.
To give an example, let's say you love video games. You can hold a video game tournament or start your own video game show using the YouTube or TwitchTV service. You will feel like the "right" type, without having to put yourself under pressure from your peers
Step 3. Do things to be proud of yourself for
If you have faith in yourself, you won't feel any discomfort saying no to people. A great way to gain confidence is to do several things to be proud of yourself for. By doing so, no one will be able to take you away from that kind of experience. If they talk badly about it, don't care.
- For example, you can volunteer at a homeless shelter in your city.
- Another way to be proud of yourself is to commit to acquiring a skill that you truly intend to learn. Try starting something like drawing or music.
Step 4. Make your own decisions
A great way to increase self-confidence and the ability to say no to your peers is to make decisions that affect you in everyday life. Nobody acquires true competence without making a commitment to fight for what they want. Taking control of the situation is a full-fledged skill. You will have to try. Find a way to gain more control over your life, and before you know it, you will be able to handle yourself in increasingly difficult situations.
For example, if your sibling usually forces you to use the bathroom after him in the morning, take a stand and make sure you go in first. Wake up a few minutes earlier or do whatever it takes to handle the situation in your favor
Step 5. Think for yourself and do what's important to you
Don't waste time worrying about what others think about you. It's not about their life, it's about yours! Instead, worry about your self-esteem. Engage in things that make you feel good by becoming the person you want to be. In a few years, you will be happy and successful, while others will make ends meet by doing poorly paid jobs.
