Rapists are predators. Point. By following these steps, you can try to secure yourself so as not to fall into their clutches. You will acquire the information and skills necessary to protect yourself psychologically and physically. Remember: While it's important to be aware of your surroundings and how to defend yourself, rape is ultimately the rapist's fault, not the victim's. This article is by no means intended to justify the actions of attackers, it simply offers tips that can help you live more safely. In an ideal world, the best way to prevent potential rape is to educate people of both sexes to respect and help each other. However, taking precautions can also be helpful in avoiding dangerous situations.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Initial clarifications
Step 1. First of all, you must know that under no circumstances can you be blamed for a rape
Before you even start thinking about preventing a potential assault, you need to understand that if it does happen, the blame will fall entirely on the rapist. Nothing you do, wear or say can clear the attack. Nobody "goes looking for it," and anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is deeply wrong. Sure, you can definitely take steps to decrease your chances of facing dangerous situations and living safely, but in the end, nothing you do can justify rape.
Step 2. Remember that the most effective way to prevent rape is to discourage the abuser
In modern culture, sexual violence can be avoided in multiple ways, all of which can be traced back to how women are perceived. If society as a whole is committed to raising men who are respectful of women and stops contributing to a culture that constantly objectifies and belittles the female sex, then it is possible to slowly change the situation. Sometimes teens think rape jokes are funny and joking about sexual assault is okay. It is therefore important to explain to them that this is not the case. Men can also be raped, but society in general is convinced of the opposite. As a result, many men who have been victims of it feel ashamed and afraid to make their voices heard.
Many people think that giving guidelines to women about actions that can be taken to stay safe is not fair to them. Furthermore, they believe that this leads them to think that it is enough to behave in the "right way" to prevent sexual assault. On this basis, if they make a mistake, essentially the blame for the rape lies with them. This article is not intended to convey such an idea. His goal is to empower women, to offer them sensible tips on how to stay out of harm's way. However, women are not the only victims of sexual violence. It can happen to men too, but not to the same extent. Society does not believe that delicate and fragile women can rape "big and fat" men, but it happens
Step 3. Don't stop living your life to the fullest
Reading tips on how to prevent rape can be alarming. Perhaps you will start to think that you are not safe anywhere: supermarket parking lot, a coffee shop bathroom, car or your own home. You may begin to wonder if there is a place where you can feel completely protected. However, you cannot think in these terms. You should definitely take precautions, but you can't be afraid to go out alone, be out at night, or hang out at some of your favorite places. You can still enjoy life and feel safe, without the constant paranoia that might appear after reading an article on rape prevention.
Step 4. Be aware that most rapes are committed by a person known to the victim
The statistics vary, but it seems that the cases in which the rapists were complete strangers only oscillate between 9% and 33%. What does it mean? That most women are raped by men they know, be it a friend, a date, a co-worker, an acquaintance or even a family member. As a result, a person is much more likely to be raped by an acquaintance than by a stranger in a dark alley. So while it's important to take the right precautions when you're alone, don't let your guard down completely in the company of seemingly reliable people.
- When you are with an acquaintance, be especially careful and don't let your guard down entirely, unless you can put your hand on his trustworthiness. And, even then, it is possible for sexual violence to occur. If your gut tells you that something is wrong, remember that you should leave as soon as possible and safely.
- Rapes committed by a person who associates romantically are also quite common. According to a study, about 1/3 of sexual violence is committed in these cases. If you have recently been dating someone, remember that "no" means no. Never let it make you feel guilty because you know what you want. If necessary, don't be afraid to communicate your needs loud and clear.
Part 2 of 4: Security in a Social Context
Step 1. Always pay attention to your surroundings
Open or closed parking lots are two of the places most targeted by potential rapists. They are predators, so look around carefully. If you are in a parking lot and you notice that someone is following you, start making noise: talk to yourself out loud or to an imaginary person, pretend to chat on the phone. The more the potential victim makes itself felt, the more the attacker will be inclined to desist.
Take a good look at your surroundings during the day. Do you work in a new place or have you recently visited a certain environment? Make sure you find the safest way to get from one place to another. This means driving on well-lit and fairly busy roads. Keep your cell phone handy
Step 2. If you have moved to a new city for study purposes, be careful:
most rapes are committed in the first weeks of the academic year. In particular, you need to be careful if you live with other people or in a mixed university housing. According to the United States Department of Justice, a large proportion of sexual violence occurs in the opening weeks of the first and second year of college. These are the riskiest moments because people still don't know each other well, we surround ourselves with many strangers and often alcohol flows in rivers. This shouldn't stop you from having fun or getting the full experience, but you should be especially careful when you come across new people; Also, be sure to hang out with your friends and use common sense.
Step 3. Don't leave drinks unattended
Imagine that each drink is worth 100 euros. Don't let anyone take it. Also avoid everything that is offered to you - it could be risky. Always keep an eye on your drinks. Keep your hand on the glass, as it is easy to pour dangerous substances into it. Do not accept drinks unless the bartender prepares them in front of you or the waiter serves them directly. While you are fairly certain that the drink on a table is yours, it is much safer to buy or serve yourself another one.
Step 4. Drink responsibly
Do not misunderstand this tip: even if you have raised your elbow, a possible attacker does not have the right to attack you, it would not be your fault. However, drinking makes you more vulnerable and prone to unwanted attention. Make sure you don't drink more than one drink per hour (a glass of wine, beer or a shot of alcohol), control your mind and body as much as possible. Steer clear of the impromptu drink mixes that circulate at private parties. Only a bartender can prepare and serve you a cocktail: otherwise, the result is unpredictable.
Step 5. Stay with your friends
Wherever you go, show up with a group of friends and walk away with them. Even if you split up during the party, you should always know their whereabouts and make sure they know yours. Keep in touch with your friends, watch them and be sure you are on the same page. If they see you in the company of an unwelcome person, they should come to your rescue, and you should do the same. Don't leave a friend with someone she doesn't know well, especially if she's been drinking.
Step 6. Keep yourself safe on the premises
These places can be so noisy that it would be impossible to hear cries for help. If you go to a club, make sure you are with your friends, go to the bathroom with friends and always inform them of your location.
Step 7. Be assertive
If someone gives you unwanted attention, tell them to leave you alone. It is not necessary to be polite to a person who makes unrequited advances to you. Thank you firmly, but explain that you are not interested. It may be difficult to turn down someone you know and love, but it's still possible. Once the message is delivered, it will hardly bother you again.
Step 8. Keep your personal information private
Don't say them out loud or post them on the internet. Also, be especially wary of dating people you meet online. It is never wise to see in person someone you have only spoken to on the web or who tries to convince you to make an appointment despite your hesitation. If you think you should, let someone take you, preferably an older friend, and see yourself in a public place.
Step 9. Always keep your phone charged
Do not leave the house if it is about to go out. It can save your life, whether you need to call the police or phone your friends for help. If you have to go out at night, make sure you have it available, whether you are alone or with friends. Do you often forget to upload it? You can make it a habit to take the charger with you.
Part 3 of 4: Keeping yourself safe when you are alone
Step 1. When you are alone, pay attention to your use of technology
Remember one thing: you shouldn't stop living well or avoid the activities you loved for fear of being raped and assaulted. If you like to run with iPod headphones in your ears then you can, but be extra careful and always look around, trying to stay in a busy place. If you go to an outdoor or indoor parking lot, then focus on your movements instead of playing with your iPod or iPhone.
Attackers look for weak people. If they find that you are particularly careful and walk safely, it will be more difficult for them to attack you, while they will feel prompted to do so if you are distracted while texting, listening to your new favorite song on iPod or doing something else
Step 2. Learn to trust your instincts
If you don't feel safe or have a bad feeling, it's in your best interest to walk away and ask for help. Listen to your instincts and pay attention to the alarming sensations. If you find yourself in a certain situation by yourself and you suddenly see or run into someone who makes you feel unsafe, take action as soon as possible. Are you confident enough to take a big risk? Then it's important to stay calm, move quickly, and go somewhere where other people can be found.
If you are walking on a dark street and you have the feeling that someone is following you, cross it diagonally and see if they imitate you. If so, then walk towards the middle of the road (but not so much that you run the risk of being hit by a car). This way, you are more likely to be seen by a passing car: the driver can help you and this will drive away the potential attacker
Step 3. Don't cut your hair just to curb a rapist
Sure, many will tell you that attackers are looking for women with long hair or gathered in a ponytail because they are easier to grab. Does this mean that you should choose a helmet to run less danger? Of course not (unless you want such a cut, needless to say). Don't let a potential rapist stop you from getting the look you want, and never blame yourself for luring an assailant.
Step 4. Don't change clothing to discourage attackers
Many will tell you that you run a higher risk of being attacked when you wear clothes that are easy to remove or cut with a pair of scissors. They include thin skirts, cotton dresses, other light and short garments. They will tell you that it is better to bring overalls, overalls, trousers that have zippers instead of elastic. They will tell you that belts keep clothes in place, that layers of clothing help deter attackers. While it's not exactly fake, you shouldn't feel obligated to wear bulky suits, amphibians, or wetsuits to avoid being attacked. Ultimately, it is up to you to decide how to dress, so you shouldn't think that light clothing predisposes you to a possible attack.
Some will also say that dressing provocatively invites attackers. Avoid this kind of thinking as much as possible, because it doesn't make sense
Step 5. Only carry self-defense items with you if you know how to use them
Remember, a weapon that could injure a potential attacker can be used against you if you are not prepared and do not know how to handle it. If you bring a gun, be sure to sign up for a course to learn how to use it, practice at the shooting range often. Of course, you can only get it after applying for a permit. If you bring a knife, take a course to learn how to use it most effectively. Don't forget that an umbrella or bag can also become a weapon against an attacker, and you are less likely to be turned on you.
Step 6. Scream and draw attention to yourself
Attackers usually plan the attack. Get in the way of the plan. Fight, defend yourself, scream at the top of your lungs.
Step 7. Scream:
"Call the police!". Shouting this sentence can have a double effect: you will scare the attacker and get people's attention. If you shout these words, the people around you will likely come to your rescue. Some studies have suggested an effective strategy: he points to a precise passer-by with his finger and states: "Lord in the white shirt, I need your help! This man is attacking me". Spell the words well and be heard.
Some studies show that yelling "Fire!" instead of "Help!" or "Someone call the police!" it may actually be more useful for attracting the attention of passers-by. You can try this tactic too, but some think that, in the confusion of the moment, it can be difficult to remember to shout "Fire!" instead of "Help!"
Step 8. Sign up for an initial self-defense course
There are specific anti-aggression and anti-rape courses. Search the internet to find one in your area. They can teach you many effective attacking methods, from hitting the right parts to putting your fingers in the eye. Having these skills on your side will make you feel more confident when walking alone in the evening.
Step 9. Learn the SING technique, an acronym for Solar Plexus (solar plexus), Instep (back of the foot), Nose (nose), Groin (groin)
These are the four points of attack you should focus on when being grabbed from behind. Hit the solar plexus with your elbow and step on the back of the foot as hard as you can. When the attacker releases his grip, turn around and use the palm of your hand to strike his nose in an upward motion. Finally, hit his groin with one knee. This may incapacitate him for long enough to allow you to escape.
Step 10. Enter the house safely
Don't hang around in the car or stay on the street rummaging through your bag. Get out of the car with everything you need. When entering your house or car, be careful, as someone could easily push you and close the door behind you. Be aware of your surroundings - keep the keys in hand and look around before opening the door.
Step 11. Walk as if you know where you are going
As you go, look ahead and stand straight. Of course, overdoing it can be counterproductive, but demonstrating confidence is helpful. Attackers are more likely to attack people they deem unable to defend themselves. If you look weak or uncertain, as if you don't know where to go, the odds of attracting a predator's attention are much higher. Even if you are really lost, do not walk with this impression.
Step 12. Pay attention to the attacker and leave discernable marks if you attack him
A bite to the face, a bruised eye, a deeply scratched leg, a ripped off piercing are all easily identifiable signs, and the same goes for flashy tattoos and other highlights. Hit the attacker. Target weak spots, such as the eyes (stick a finger), nose (hit it hard with an upward motion using the bottom of the palm), genitals (grab them firmly and squeeze them, or hit them hard) and so on. This way, you make sure his hands aren't free to hit and grab you, so you can escape.
If you find yourself in a place you can't escape from, look around and, if you can, leave a clue about the attacker. In many cases, attackers were caught because victims left identifiable tooth marks, scratches or DNA traces in the attacking machines or rooms
Step 13. If you are being followed by someone who could pose a threat, make eye contact
An attacker may be less likely to attack if they think the victim can clearly identify them. Sure, you're scared and it's probably the last thing you want to do, but it could guarantee your safety.
Part 4 of 4: Helping Other People
Step 1. Don't be afraid to intervene
Helping someone can be quite helpful in preventing possible rape. It's not always easy to act in uncomfortable situations, but when you have the power to prevent that from happening, the game is worth the candle.
Step 2. Pay attention to the potential victim
For example, if you are at a party and you see a man trying to get his hands on a drunk friend of yours, approach him and let him know that you are watching her. Bring her some water, ask her if she wants to get some fresh air, or find another excuse to intrude.
- "I brought you some water"
- "Would you like to get some air?"
- "Are you feeling well? Do you want me to keep you company?"
- "I love this song, let's go dancing"
- "My car is nearby. Do you want a ride?"
- "Jessi !!! How long … how have you been? - this works even with people you don't know. Unless they're too drunk to understand, they'll be happy to play along to get rid of the harasser.
Step 3. Address the potential predator
You could try to compare it, or just distract it.
- "Leave her alone. Can't you see she's not well? My friends and I will take care of taking her home"
- "Hey, she said no. Clearly she's not interested."
- "Excuse me Mr. They are taking your car away"
Step 4. If you need help coping with the situation, seek reinforcements
The presence of a few people is enough to discourage an attacker from making a risky move.
- Tell the bartender or owner what's going on.
- Involve friends (yours or someone else's).
- Call the security people, or the police.
Step 5. Create some confusion
If you don't know what else to do, alert the people present. Turn off the lights, or turn off the music. This can cause the potential predator to get distracted or embarrassed, and also draw the attention of others to the fact that something is wrong.
Step 6. Don't leave your friends alone at parties
If you go to a party with a friend, don't leave her when you want to leave. Leaving her alone, especially with a group of mere acquaintances or strangers, puts her in a vulnerable position. This is especially true when alcohol and drugs are present.
- Before you leave, find your friend to find out how she is. Don't disappear until you are sure that the situation is calm and that she will be able to go home without any problems.
- If your friend seems drunk, or almost drunk, try to get her to go home. Refuses? Stay at the party until she is ready to leave.
Step 7. Implement a system to make sure everyone gets home safe and sound
Taking simple precautions like texting each other when you get home is a good way to protect each other. For example, if you go out for a drink one night with a group of friends and one of them comes home on a bicycle, text them or call them from your respective homes. If you don't hear from him, try to figure out what's going on.
Step 8. If you know the identity of a rapist, don't be silent
A friend of yours has a date with a guy and you know he's an attacker? Informing her is the right thing to do. Whether it's simple gossip about this person or you have first-hand information about it, this individual doesn't have to have a chance to hurt someone else.
- If you have been personally attacked by this individual, it is up to you to decide whether or not to make his true nature public. It is undoubtedly a very courageous act, but your life will be deeply affected by that choice, so it is not a decision that is made lightly by most people.
- In any case, while not making a report, warning people you know about the possible risks they would run in the company of this individual will help prevent possible rape.
Step 9. Do your part to eliminate rape preconceptions
It is important for women, but it may be even more important for men. To prevent potential rape, it is necessary to educate people about it and get them to take a stand against assaults. Men shouldn't make degrading claims about women or joke about rape, even among themselves. If a male individual sees that other people of his sex show empathy towards women, he may be more likely to imitate this behavior.
Advice
- Remember to improvise. Any items you have with you can be used as a weapon in one way or another. For example, if you are wearing heels, take them off and stick one into the attacker's eye or elsewhere. If they are sharp enough, you can also use the keys as a weapon. Use them to injure an attacker's wrist, throat, or eye. Once knocked out, immediately run away, call the police, head to the crowded place closest to you and explain what happened to as many people as possible. Don't wait for the attacker to get up. If that happens, he'll be even more angry and violent.
- Don't underestimate your skills. The human body has amazing strength and wit in these situations. When the adrenaline rises, you can marvel at what you are capable of, as long as you are not too paralyzed with fear.
- A rape can happen to anyone at any time. Age, social class and ethnic group have no influence on the choice of an attacker. Data from various research clearly demonstrates that a person's clothing and / or behavior has no impact on victim selection. The attacker's decision is based on how easily he can make the targeted person feel threatened. He is looking for an available and vulnerable target. These statistics were obtained from several sources, including the following: Rape in America, 1992, National Victim Center, The Federal Bureau of Investigations and the National Crime Survey.
- Natural instinct can save your life. Pay attention. It is like a radar and can prevent serious problems. Many women who have found themselves in this situation have heard a voice within themselves that alerted them to the risk. Listen and respect this voice. If a person or situation gives you an idea of danger, don't ignore that feeling.
- When at home, play it safe by preventing strangers from entering. If it's a handyman or phone company technician, ask him to show you ID and the van. If you don't trust this individual instantly, then don't let him in. If he doesn't look you in the eye, doesn't have ID, drives a van with the company name, or isn't wearing a uniform, his behavior is suspicious. Don't let him in! While he is out, ask him to call his company, and then he will have to pass you his supervisor, otherwise call him yourself.
- Yell out. Scream at the top of your lungs, as if there is no tomorrow. If possible, direct the sound towards his ear, so you will momentarily deafen him. Unless he points a gun at you, ignore him if he tells you to shut up. Shout: "Help!", Another effective word or a phrase like "Call the police, they are attacking me!".
- Do not think it's best to behave kindly. Be rude and obnoxious, as predators will do anything to get an empathic response from you.
- Remember that you have the right to hit the attacker. His intentions are not good at all, so you have every right to defend yourself. Don't be afraid or nervous in this situation - she deserves it. Be as aggressive as possible.
- Rapists don't necessarily look like criminals. Often they are apparently normal, well-groomed, athletic, pleasant, young, and so on. They don't necessarily have a devilish look or a bad boy look. It could be your boss, a professor, a neighbor, a boyfriend or a relative.
- Remember that attackers usually want easy prey, so don't cooperate. If you are the victim of a sexual attack, shout out to let everyone know that the predator's actions are not welcome.
- If you notice, the easy targets are in a straight line: eyes, nose, mouth, throat, solar plexus, breasts (if it's a woman), belly, groin, knees, and back of the foot.
- If the attacker is a man, you can use the toe: use it to strike the groin with an upward motion.
- Surround yourself with personal barriers. Protect yourself psychologically and physically. Remember that predators can spot possible victims with a quick psychological analysis or a look.
- Whenever you can, use your knee to hit a man's groin sharply and hard with an upward motion. This can temporarily disable him, giving you valuable time to escape right away.
- If you see one, try to get on a bus. Even without a ticket, the driver should let you in immediately if you are in danger or in an uncomfortable situation.
- If you are in a moving vehicle, don't be afraid to jump out. Better to have a broken arm than to lose your life. If you are in the back of a van or truck, look around. Newer vehicles can be opened from the inside, so you may be lucky. If the van does not have a door or cannot be opened, break a window with an object you have at hand or, if you think you can, with a punch. As stated earlier, you risk bleeding or hurting yourself, but wouldn't it be better than being raped and possibly killed?
- Those who have been victims of sexual abuse in childhood run doubly the risk of reliving the situation as an adult, this is because they increase the risk of contracting post-traumatic stress disorder and having other psychological traumas (Parillo et. Al., 2003), (Sarkar, N.; Sarkar, R., 2005). Below you will find ways to seek help and avoid it.
- If the attacker is on the ground and you have time, it is helpful to leave a small mark, such as a piece of jewelry, bandana, or other item of your own, so that he can be identified later. Better yet, scratch it hard, bite it, bruise it or (even if it's disgusting) spit on it.
- Undergoing psychological treatment, such as treatment for mental illness (such as post-traumatic stress disorder) and possible addictions due to abuse, can help people who have been victims of childhood sexual violence to overcome the consequences of this. experience. In fact, the traumatic effects can make them vulnerable and convert them back into adult victims (Parillo et. Al., 2003).
- Keep legal and recommended sprays on your stock exchange, such as pepper spray.
- Try having a large dog.
- It will sound like a stereotype, but avoid walking around alone in the evening. If you do, make sure you walk on a well-lit, busy, central street where at least one other person is present. Keep your cell phone handy and ready to make a call. In the other hand, if you have it, hold a key, to use as a weapon.
- According to some studies, victims of multiple attacks suffer from PTSD more acutely than those who have been attacked once. Thus, if a person has been attacked twice in childhood and adolescence, they are at greater risk of reliving the experience as an adult.
- Other factors that affect healing are the emotional support of friends, relatives, communities and, for religious, their own faith (Sarkar, N.; Sarkar, R., 2005).
- Don't panic.
- Violence education is essential for prevention. Search the internet to find some educational programs aimed at preventing sexual assault among young people. Also inquire about self-defense courses.
- According to a study, out of 433 respondents who were victims of sexual assault, 2/3 said they had suffered more than one accident (Sorensen et. Al., 1991).
- If you are in a certain place with your friends and you realize that someone is observing you in a strange way, warn them. For example, if you are sitting in front of a friend's door and the neighbor is spying on you through the curtain, say, "Hey! Your neighbor is watching us; can we go into the house?" Or something similar. Maybe your friend will give you some alarming information about this person, so you know you need to avoid them.
- Girls shouldn't be the last to leave a party, concert, or other event, and they should urge their friends to avoid it. Attackers usually wait until an event ends. Late at night, potential victims may be drunk or sleepy, certainly not paying attention to predators around them.
- If you're out and about, try walking near shops with large front windows - not only are they likely to have security cameras, you can use mirrors to see if anyone is following you. This is usually a useful method if a person is close to you. If so, try to identify salient features (height, hair length, clothing, any disabilities or injuries).
- Remember that you are under no obligation to be nice to strangers. They could be attackers. Don't worry about being rude to people you refuse to help.
Warnings
- The car should always have enough fuel. Be practical and take no chances. If you know you're going to be on a long journey, keep an eye on the spy and stop if necessary to fill up.
- Stay away from victim guilt and rape myths. The only person responsible for an attack is the perpetrator. If you have been attacked, it is not your fault, whatever you did or did not do on the spot.
- Should you decide to own and use a firearm, remember that it is extremely dangerous, especially if not used and stored properly. Use a trigger lock mechanism to make sure it isn't pointed at you, even by accident (this is especially important if you have children in the house). Learn to clean and maintain it properly so that it is always in good condition should you ever need it.
- Obey the firearms laws of the country you live in.
