Everyone has to spend time alone, but only some consider it a pleasant opportunity. Research suggests that, in the absence of distractions, most people dislike being alone because the human mind feels more comfortable when it turns outward. However, spending some time alone can be a great way to be able to relax, work on yourself, and gain more valuable perspectives. If you are among those who do not like being alone, you can benefit from the content of this article aimed at explaining the countless advantages guaranteed by loneliness.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Spend Time Alone in a Healthy Way
Step 1. Reduce your use of social media
Even if you are feeling lonely, remember that social media is not the solution. While seeming like substitutes for human interactions, social media only adds to your feeling of isolation and keeps you from spending quality time with yourself. If you feel the need for human contact, call a friend, meet any real person, or go to a place where you can talk to someone.
Step 2. Reduce the time spent in front of the TV
Sometimes people who have difficulty leaving the house or making friends tend to replace human interactions with tools such as TV. Understand that spending your time with virtual individuals is not healthy at all; spending the day watching a marathon of your favorite TV series or staying up late at night to watch a couple of movies is not a problem, as long as it only happens occasionally. However, when such behavior becomes chronic, it exposes us to the risk of serious problems of dependence and isolation.
Step 3. Spend a moderate amount of time in the company of friends and family
If you are not used to being alone, you may tend to resort to the constant presence of friends and family to keep yourself constantly busy. For the same reason, you can try to organize a large number of romantic dates. None of these behaviors are healthy as spending some time alone is a real necessity. It's okay to surround yourself with friends and loved ones from time to time, but it's just as important to have ample amount of time just for yourself.
Step 4. Moderate your drinking
Having an occasional drink alone is not a problem, but using alcohol to overcome the discomfort of being alone can have serious long-term consequences. In order to be considered pleasant or tolerable, the time you spend alone should not necessarily include the consumption of alcohol. If you are relying on alcohol or drugs to cope with loneliness, you may be the victim of a more serious condition. If you feel addicted to alcohol or drugs, consult a psychologist or therapist for help.
Step 5. Intentionally plan your moments of solitude
Make them an integral part of your routine. You shouldn't be alone on occasions when no one is available. Try to plan at least 30 minutes of solitude every day and dedicate yourself to the activities you enjoy most. Initially, the idea of making an appointment with yourself may seem bizarre, but over time it will become more natural and less problematic.
Start with something simple. You can start by taking a walk around the area or spending half an hour in the cafeteria, or try having lunch on your own a couple of times a week, moving away from the area where you work
Step 6. Make good use of your time
You won't need to sit and think in a dark room without doing anything unless that's what you want. Instead, plan to indulge in some of the activities you enjoy most. Remember that the time you spend alone is about getting to know yourself better and becoming a better version of yourself, for example by acquiring new knowledge or skills through your passions.
- Make a list of the activities you enjoy doing alone and make an effort to do them.
- Think about the things you would like to do in the company of other people and find ways to do them yourself.
- Try pursuing a new hobby, such as a sport or manual activity you've been interested in for some time.
- Don't be afraid to choose a business or project that takes a lot of time and passion because your purpose is to plan a large amount of time for yourself.
Step 7. Be aware of your thoughts
When you are alone, keeping your thoughts under control may not be easy, increasing your level of awareness can be of great help.
While eating or showering, try to silence your mind and stop listening to the sensations of your body. Focus on your every move
Method 2 of 2: Understand the Importance of Spending Time with Yourself
Step 1. Understand that being alone doesn't have to be the same as feeling alone and vice versa
Although society seems to argue otherwise, the truth is that we may feel alone even in the middle of a crowded station, where we are not alone at all. Being alone and feeling alone are therefore two completely distinct concepts. Being alone simply means not being in the company of other people, while feeling alone means missing others and experiencing a consequent feeling of anxiety or sadness. When you are alone you can feel happy and enjoy your solitude, while when you feel alone you can have a hard time feeling joy.
- Being alone with yourself is a normal and healthy act, with practice you may find that you have a pleasant feeling of peace and that you don't feel sad or unhappy at all.
- The feeling of loneliness may come from having spent a lot of time alone, yet the two concepts remain completely different.
Step 2. Recognize the benefits associated with moments of solitude
Although often neglected, time spent in the company of ourselves brings significant benefits to our lives. Instead of focusing on what you don't like about being alone, think about how you can use your time to improve your physical and mental health.
- Take care of yourself. When you are alone you have the opportunity to indulge yourself and pay attention to your personal needs. During your time, try to focus exclusively on those things that make you feel good, such as reading a book, taking a long hot bath, or listening to good music.
- Get to know yourself better. When you are alone you have the opportunity to reflect on your desires, your hopes and your needs, without suffering the pressure of others, making a commitment to discover yourself. Try keeping a journal in which to write down your thoughts and feelings, it will help you explore them.
- Take it easy. Being constantly in the company of other people is stressful and requires a lot of energy. Being alone allows your body and mind to recharge. Try using your time to meditate or to do some breathing exercises.
- Increase your level of clarity and productivity. Being aware can help you appreciate the time you spend with yourself. When you are alone you have the opportunity to reflect deeper and work on your problems more effectively. Try to use at least some of your time to simply stop and think.
Step 3. Understand that it is normal to fear loneliness
Remind yourself that there is nothing wrong with feeling slightly scared of being alone. It is our nature, as human beings we try to interact with others. Many of the theories dealing with human needs for love, attachment, and social bonding suggest that we are not meant to be alone all the time. For this reason it is important to find the right balance between loneliness and looking for valid interactions.
Being afraid is normal, but refusing to be alone is not healthy. When we let ourselves be overwhelmed by the fear of loneliness, we risk settling for toxic or inappropriate interactions in order not to be alone. A good example is those who seek continuous short-term relationships or people who go out of their way to be constantly surrounded by friends. In this case, the spasmodic search for human interaction can be said to be harmful
Step 4. Look for healthy relationships and let go of the bad ones
Your goal must be to keep healthy relationships strong and to let go of those that you consider harmful or that make you unhappy. Some recent research shows that people tend to get trapped in unhealthy relationships just because they fear being alone, but such behavior is certainly more harmful than helpful.
- If your relationship is making you unhappy, but you're afraid of ending it because you don't want to be alone, talk to someone who can help you. Schedule a meeting with a trusted friend, spiritual guide, or therapist to discuss your situation with.
- Develop and maintain your support network. If you want to learn to be alone with yourself, you need to build a solid support network, made up of friends and family, to turn to in times of need.
Step 5. Observe yourself to find out if you suffer from loneliness and if you need help
Suffering from loneliness is different than the fear of being alone. When we feel alone we have the feeling of being isolated, disconnected and rejected; we long to interact with others, but none seem to be available. If instead of an occasional fear of being alone, what you are facing is real pain from the feeling of loneliness, see a therapist to work on these feelings.
- Assess your symptoms. Anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, depression, suicidal thoughts, alcohol abuse, and drug use are common symptoms of loneliness.
- Evaluate the events that may have caused your feeling of loneliness. You may have been through a recent breakup or loss. The fear of being alone may also be caused by a past trauma, such as being abandoned in childhood.
