Whether you're looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend or miss your family and friends, you can learn to appreciate being alone. Consider that humans are social animals, but this does not mean that it is possible to be completely happy while living in seclusion.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Learning to Appreciate Loneliness
Step 1. Learn to accept being alone
Loneliness offers you moments of reflection, during which you can think more deeply about things. In a world increasingly focused on speed and competitiveness, loneliness is a precious element to be preserved.
Being well alone is a sign of good self-esteem
Step 2. Try to be happy and optimistic
Happiness comes from within, regardless of the circumstances. Don't use loneliness as an excuse not to enjoy life! Choose to see the glass as half full and try to have an optimistic view.
Step 3. Reflect on life and its deeper meanings
You can devote some of the time you spend alone to reflection. Analyze your interiority and your existence. Consider your past, present and future goals.
One of the most important things that favors the construction of one's identity is contemplation. Think about what makes you what you are. What do you believe in? Because? Are there things that don't seem right to you? What do you blindly trust (or what do you trustfully accept)?
Step 4. Avoid over-analyzing
It is easy to infer facts, feelings, thoughts and attitudes about others and make judgments based only on candid personal perceptions. This attitude can quickly turn into a negative habit and be discouraging. You don't always have all the elements available to fully understand situations, but there is nothing wrong with that.
Step 5. Do everything you would normally do with a boyfriend or friend
Many times we don't miss the presence of a partner or friend, but the activities and fun we shared with these people. Do not hesitate! Go out and do what you want.
For example, if you want to go to dinner or to the cinema, go to a movie or eat in a nice restaurant
Step 6. Train 3 times a week
Physical activity not only keeps you busy, it also allows you to stay healthy and feel good about yourself. Aim for gymnastics for 30 minutes, 3 times a week. You can go to the gym if you want to see people or work out at home.
- Rediscover the fun of moving. A bike ride around the city or the neighborhood will no longer be a job, but a pleasure as you train.
- Be consistent. Exercise requires willpower and commitment. Set schedules and stick to them. Go slow at first so that you know your limits. Alternatively, join the gym and start socializing.
Step 7. Get out in the fresh air
There is a whole world out there and you only look at a small part of it. Don't stay holed up in the house for days on end. Go outside, forget about people and enjoy what life has to offer. After that, people will want to know how you do it and will want your company. At that point you will have no choice but to make new friends!
Step 8. Volunteer
Charity helps you feel good about yourself. It is also a great way to contribute to the community and help people in need. Search online for some volunteer opportunities near you. You can find it all: work as a volunteer in a hospital, help out in a parish theater, coach a youth sports team, or feed the homeless.
Part 2 of 4: Engaging in Creative Activities
Step 1. Express your feelings by writing a story, journal or blog
Writing not only fuels the imagination, but promotes happiness and optimism. You can also compose poetry or conduct research.
Step 2. Keep busy reading
You can opt for literary classics, genre fiction, poetry or non-fiction works. The moments you spend alone are an opportunity to resume your favorite readings. Not only is it a pleasant and fun activity, but it also allows you to enrich yourself culturally and personally. Also try listening to audiobooks.
- Try reading classics like Moby Dick, Romeo and Juliet, Martian Chronicles or Great Expectations.
- Choose genre literature: for science fiction try Fahrenheit 451, while for horror go for Salem's Nights. If you prefer the Fantasy genre, read Harry Potter.
- Get closer to poetry by reading from Neruda (Sonnet XVII) to Montale (I went down, giving you my arm, at least a million stairs), from Nazim Hikmet (Amo in te) to Jacques Prévert (Three lit matches).
- If you are interested in philosophy, you could read some works by Socrates, Plato, Nietzsche, Descartes, Aristotle, Kant, Rand and Marx.
Step 3. Listen to music that makes you feel good
Whatever your favorite genre, you can enjoy yourself by listening to a beautiful song. Choose the music you like or that reminds you of certain moments.
Natural noises, such as thunder and rain, birds chirping, river water roaring, and so on, help clear your mind, relax and relieve stress, thus making you feel calmer and more fulfilled when you are. alone
Step 4. Express yourself by singing, dancing or playing a musical instrument
If you don't like singing, try dancing. It is very helpful to engage in something, and according to some research, physical activity and dancing ward off bad emotions. Also try a musical instrument or perfect this talent if you already know how to play. Remember that you're only doing this for yourself, so let yourself go!
Step 5. Relax by doodling or drawing
Drawing is a very fun creative activity to try in your free time. You don't have to be Picasso, so paint and draw however you like. By doing this, you can relax, face your feelings, and get rid of stress. In the end, you will see the result and you can be satisfied with your work!
Step 6. Engage in manual jobs left open
DIY is another fun and creative activity. You can work with wood, make hand decorated albums, make robots, collect stamps, design patterns, design T-shirts, embroider, knit and so much more! There are endless opportunities that not only serve to fill dead times, but also to create handicrafts.
Step 7. Improve critical thinking by playing
Playing computer and video games has its benefits! It allows you to develop critical thinking and problem solving skills and also improves hand-eye coordination. Plus, fitness games help you stay on the move.
Alternatively, you can choose board games like Dixit or King of Tokyo. They exist for all tastes and abilities
Part 3 of 4: Taking Advantage of Learning Opportunities
Step 1. Find out about what you don't know
When living alone, knowledge is very important because it helps keep the brain active and engaged. In the absence of emotional ties that involve mandatory obligations, such as being with family or partner, you have the opportunity to deepen an unknown interest or topic.
You can study a discipline, such as geography or history, or learn a foreign language
Step 2. Try a new skill or pursue a hobby
Try an indoor activity, such as painting, yoga, math, science, art criticism, a musical instrument like the piano or flute. Alternatively, you could indulge in an outdoor activity, such as gardening, fencing, tennis, or golf. You could also try to combine both, by doing photography or drawing.
Learning is not limited to the content of the books (although they are a great source of knowledge). You can learn to do anything just by practicing it. If you are a beginner, look for tutorials online
Step 3. Take an online course if you want a better setup
If there is something you want to learn and find it useful to rely on an instructor or a teaching scheme, sign up for an online course. There are several sites that offer excellent preparation for those who want to learn or deepen topics and activities.
Part 4 of 4: Connecting with Others
Step 1. Adopt a pet if you can take care of it
Pets offer affection and companionship, as long as you take care of them properly. If you are a detached and independent person, some excellent options are tropical fish, hamsters, budgies and finches. If you enjoy interacting, but don't want to get trapped in a monopolizing commitment, try a cat. If you are very dynamic and want to spend a lot of time with your pet, a dog might be perfect.
- Don't mistakenly think that a smaller animal, like a rabbit or a bird, doesn't need a lot of care - a rabbit needs daily human contact and has to run many hours a day, not to mention cleaning. Find out about any alternatives you are considering, then go to an animal shelter. You will find numerous furry friends waiting for a home!
- Some shelters allow pets to be "fostered". In this way, they foster a healthy detachment from the reception facility and offer people the companionship they desire without a long-term commitment.
Step 2. Join a virtual community
Don't limit your online activities to games. Join a forum or chat room to meet new people or interact with friends and family on social media. There are numerous online communities for various age groups, interests or hobbies, so research until you find the right group for you.
Step 3. Chat with neighbors, classmates and colleagues
Just because you live alone doesn't mean you can't socialize. Talk to the people you see on a daily basis at home, at work, or at school. You can also strike up a conversation with the bartender, strike up a conversation with the librarian, or have a chat with the person sitting next to you on the train.
Step 4. Don't isolate yourself on purpose
If you find that the reason you spend so much time alone is that you decline invitations and avoid people, it could indicate a more complex problem. In this case, contact a mental health professional. Sometimes it is normal to be alone, but it can be unhealthy if this behavior continues over time.
Advice
- Go out for a walk and get some fresh air. The morning sun increases energy, while the night air relieves stress.
- Being single and living alone does not mean having a boring everyday life, neglecting health or being overwhelmed by domestic chaos and disorganization. Try to keep fit, eat regularly, and keep your home and everything around you clean and tidy. It feels better to be independent and organized.
- Don't let others (especially married friends and co-workers) affect you or make you feel guilty or out of place about being single or living alone. Of course, single life isn't for everyone, but marriage and cohabitation are not for everyone either. Appreciate your independence and the choice you have made.
- Remember that life has its seasons. It is constantly evolving. So even if you wish to be in a relationship, it will come when it needs to come. Let it take its course, because everyone's journey and history are different and the future is not a copy of the present.
- You may also meet new people by learning to sew, playing soccer or basketball, windsurfing, and adventurous activities. It is at times like these that, by meeting fun and interesting people, you are driven to challenge yourself and improve. In addition, take your vacation and treat yourself to a pleasant holiday by the sea or in a wellness center. You need to switch off and relax.
Warnings
- It is important not to forget about others. Keep in touch with your friends and continue to broaden your circle of acquaintances. However, if you are outgoing, it can be more difficult to appreciate being alone.
- Just think that being is a temporary situation and that you will meet other people in life.
- Be careful when interacting with strangers on the Internet. You hear it every day, but when you are sad, alone, depressed or bored, you are more vulnerable and more prone to the influence of others. Talking is fine, but don't go any further.
