Getting close to someone in a bar is nerve-wracking, but it's not the end of the world to say hello to someone and see what happens. The important thing is to be sure of yourself and put yourself out there. At least you won't go home haunted by doubts and remorse.
Steps
Step 1. Go out with your friends
A person who enjoys company immediately appears more attractive and interesting. Also, dating other people will make you feel safer and more protected. Just remember that many people are afraid to approach a group of friends. If necessary, be prepared to break the ice yourself.
Step 2. Choose the venue
The clientele can vary a lot from place to place. There is no universally valid choice, what matters is to look for a place that suits your mood and your intentions. If you go to the club, almost everyone will dance and you will need to be willing to join the dance too. If you go to a game at the bar, you will need to have some basic knowledge about the sport.
Step 3. Observe the people surrounding the boy in question
It's harder to pick up a man who is either with his friends or totally absorbed in a conversation. If he's dated a woman, don't even try to get close.
Step 4. Exudes confidence
If you appear relaxed and confident, you will make a better impression.
Step 5. Look him in the eye
It is difficult to strike up a conversation with a stranger unless you are sitting close together. Instead, try to catch his eye from afar. If you want to warm the mood, give a half smile, tilt your head to the side and slowly let your gaze slide over his body.
Not sure he likes you? Do not hurry. Watch it from time to time over 10-15 minutes. If he continues to respond positively, go ahead
Step 6. Before you approach, think of an excuse to break the ice
A well thought out compliment is very effective. Explain to him why he hit you in the club, and not other guys. Just try not to be too explicit - your initial goal is to introduce yourself and break the ice.
- If you're particularly shy, ask him to take a picture and you and your friends.
- Avoid using tacky pickup phrases.
Step 7. Introduce yourself
He seems interested, he is not with other girls and the time has come to take the first step. Often, introducing yourself is the best way to step forward. If after breaking the eye contact barrier he doesn't make the first move, approach the guy in question, introduce yourself and say: "I think we absolutely have to get to know each other", "Would you like to dance?" or "Do you mind if I sit here?". What you really mean is understood.
- If you don't want to be too explicit, wait for him to stand up and "casually" bump into him.
- "Can you buy me something to drink?" it's not a bad phrase to come forward, but approaching him with your drink in your hand will allow him to immediately understand that you are interested in him, rather than saving a couple of euros. If he's not drinking anything, you can also offer him a drink.
Step 8. Watch her reaction
Many people respond immediately in a pleasant and nice way. If he really cares, he'll keep looking you in the eye and try hard to fuel the conversation. Does he seem distracted or anything but interested? Make up an excuse and withdraw politely. He may not have the same intentions as you.
Step 9. Talk to him
Behave spontaneously and have a chat. You can definitely flirt, but just laugh and smile to start connecting. If you have overheard what he was talking about with his friends and it is a topic that you actually find interesting, give your opinion or make a joke about it.
Not sure what to say? Ask him questions to get to know him better or invite him to go deeper into a topic. People love to talk about themselves
Step 10. Try to mirror his movements
Subconsciously you are likely to already do this with the people you care about. It consists of discreetly copying someone's posture, gestures and actions. Don't try to do this intentionally (it can be creepy), but try to figure out if he is "copying" you, as it is a clear sign of interest.
Step 11. Make your intentions clear
Are you looking for a casual relationship or a person to date? Do you want me to give you her phone number or flirt for no particular reason? Most of this information is conveyed during a conversation, but sometimes you have to be direct. If he doesn't seem to pick up on your insinuations, tell him explicitly, "Would you like to go to my house?" or "Will you give me your number?". Then he will accept or make you understand that he does not have the same intentions as you.
Advice
If he refuses you (or doesn't call you back), don't worry. Getting angry or hurt would only ruin the evening. It happens to everyone. Refusal is generally not to be taken personally, so don't question your beauty
Warnings
- Making overtly sexual comments can be frowned upon, especially right after meeting someone. Before you try, make sure he's interested in you and willing to do it.
- Choose a stranger wisely. Never leave your drink unattended or give your address when someone else might hear it.
