Studies show that many get less than half of what they hear when someone talks to them. This communication deficit can be caused by common passive listening characteristics, such as inattention, distraction, and / or the response processing process. You can improve the amount of information that is held during verbal interaction by practicing a form of self-awareness called active listening. Follow the steps to learn to listen actively.
Steps
Step 1. Prepare yourself mentally
This requires that you clear your mind and focus on getting as much of what you are being told as possible. Prepare for active listening in the following ways:
- Tell yourself that you will pay attention and make a conscious effort to focus exclusively on the speaker and to block out any background noise or other distractions.
- Get rid of the distractions that can get in the way for full attention. This involves ending any conversation that is taking place and stopping any activity you are doing.
- Clear your mind of any preconceived ideas or emotions about what you think the other person will tell you. It is important to approach active listening with an open mind and wait before forming opinions until you have heard what the other has to say.
Step 2. Pay attention
Active listening implies not only verbal communication skills, but also understanding of body language, to have a full understanding of the speaker's message. To be careful, use the following techniques:
- Maintain a posture that aids effective communication. Stand facing and lean towards the other person. Open your posture, as opposed to crossing your arms.
- Look for eye contact with the speaker.
- Look at the speaker's body language. This will give you clues to understand the emotions and purpose behind what he says.
- Focus on the message behind the words, rather than the words themselves. Your goal is to understand what the speaker is communicating, regardless of how effective they are at articulating the message. Avoid judgments and pay attention to the physical and verbal clues you receive.
- Consider both the speaker's thoughts and emotions.
- Practice empathy. Empathy is the act of perceiving what the other person is feeling. Try to identify with the speaker so that you fully understand the depth of what you are being told. You don't have to agree, but you should be able to recognize the speaker's intentions.
- Avoid making a response while listening. Wait until the other person is done before devoting your mental energy to what you want to say. If the speaker implicitly asks you for confirmation that they understand during the speech, it is okay to respond with a simple comment or question to show that you are paying attention.
Step 3. Allow the speaker to communicate without interruption until they are done
Step 4. Provide feedback
Do it honestly and with respect for the speaker. Focus on each other's message and avoid adding new ideas.
- Confirm to the other that you are paying attention. Nod, smile, and give other encouraging physical cues at the right time. Also, provide verbal encouragement, such as "go ahead" and "get it."
- When the speaker has concluded, respond with your interpretation of what they said. It is a good idea to take a moment to quietly consider while you are about to respond. Your answer should be a concise paraphrase or a summary of what was said, how you understood it. Phrases like "This is what I heard" and "I think I meant this" are usually used to paraphrase.
- Allow the speaker to further clarify if you misunderstood the meaning of the communication.
- Ask questions if you feel you need more information. Listen actively as the speaker explains.
