Love is expressed as an action and experienced as a feeling. Its essence, however, defies any definition: it combines the concepts of compassion, determination, endurance, support, faith and much more. We are all capable of loving and there is no limit to the amount of love that can be given or received. If you are having a hard time expressing your love or receiving it, there are many ways to open up to this wonderful feeling.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Love Yourself
Step 1. Appreciate yourself
Before you love others, you must love yourself. To learn how to do this, you have to accept and appreciate your vulnerabilities. You have many qualities that make you unique. Appreciate who you are and what you have to offer.
- If you have trouble loving yourself, work hard to improve. Work on your self-esteem by accepting your past and leaving it behind. You may believe that some actions you have taken have made you undeserving of love of neighbor, or that you have so many flaws that you cannot be loved by anyone. Not so: accept the things that have happened to you, forgive yourself and move on.
- For more information, read How to love yourself.
Step 2. Take care of yourself as you do others
It can be difficult for you if you have an aptitude for helping others or if you have children. Remember, you will be able to help other people better if you can look after yourself.
- Don't become your last priority; rather try to do things that show yourself that you are important. Treat yourself to a massage or a hot bath. Do something every day just for you.
- This also means that you should set limits and enforce them by saying "no". If you need to relax, say no to friends who ask you out.
Step 3. Show your gratitude
Grateful people have better health and feel happier. Find reasons to be grateful for the things around you and, above all, for yourself.
Think about your characteristics that you appreciate the most. You may be compassionate, generous, or good at listening. Or you are adept at learning new skills, you are a great painter or an outstanding electrician. Stop for a moment and express your gratitude
Step 4. Have a good attitude
Even if a situation seems negative, find something positive, big or small. Having a positive outlook on things gives you physical and emotional benefits, such as a reduction in stress and a longer life expectancy. When you feel negative thoughts coming, especially about yourself, turn them into something positive.
- Use positive self-talk to turn negative thoughts into positive.
- Fight thoughts about new situations. Instead of thinking, "I'm going to make a mess; I'm so stupid!", Try, "I'm proud of myself for having a new experience and testing myself."
- If you think, "I have so much trouble meeting new people," replace this idea with, "I'm looking forward to learning new social skills and meeting other people like me. I know I can make new friends."
Step 5. Do activities that make you happy
To show love for yourself, you need to be happy. Create this mood by engaging in activities that make you feel good. Feed your body, mind, feelings and spirit. Your happiness largely depends on the efforts you make to make your life more positive.
You can choose to meditate, practice yoga, paint or draw, kayak, hike, practice Muay Thai, or participate in lively discussions. Think about what makes you smile and start doing it
Step 6. Make time for yourself alone
To take care of yourself it is important to spend some moments alone. It can be difficult if you share a room or if you have children, but doing so is really helpful. Loneliness can help you relax, overcome your problems, restart your mind, and discover yourself. Don't feel guilty because you want to spend time away from everything: this way you can improve your relationships with others, prioritizing your happiness and resetting your mind.
- Importantly, you shouldn't spend your time alone on social media. Try to do things that enrich your life and make you feel good, like walking outdoors or writing in your journal.
- If you can't find time to be alone, wake up first, or have lunch alone. Ask your partner to keep an eye on the children for an hour a week so you can get out of the house and have quality time with yourself.
Step 7. Remember that you don't need a partner to feel complete
Some people believe that it is possible to be happy and have love only in a couple relationship or that a negative relationship is a preferable solution to being alone. Continuing a relationship that doesn't work shows a lack of respect for you and your partner. Being single doesn't mean feeling lonely, and it's not worth giving in to social pressure to feel complete or accepted.
If you're not happy or being single makes you impatient, make the most of your situation. Engage in activities that are difficult to accomplish with a partner or family. Travel, make many friends and enjoy your total freedom
Part 2 of 3: Loving a Partner
Step 1. Commit
Try your hardest to make your romantic relationship work. Communicate openly with your partner about your goals for the future of the relationship. If you are interested in a simple passing adventure, be honest. If, on the other hand, you want long-term love, talk about it after the early stages of the relationship. No kind of love is "wrong", but you need to make sure your partner has the same ideas as you to avoid future problems.
Make a commitment to your partner and your relationship. Go out of your way to make your partner feel special and work to make your relationship work
Step 2. Enhance intimacy with your partner
The word "intimacy" is often associated with sex, but emotional intimacy is a fundamental component of a love story. To create it, you must be willing to try and express your vulnerability in the presence of your partner. Never showing your weaknesses can often be interpreted as an attack, an accusation or a closed attitude. On the contrary, to develop an intimate relationship you should share your fears, the things that make you feel uncomfortable and the characteristics of the partner that most disappoint you. You should be able to deal more easily with feelings and situations that didn't make you feel safe before, thanks to the trust that underlies your relationship.
- When you start to feel vulnerable (experiencing fear, sadness, shame, or emotional pain), take a moment to rest. Acknowledge all the feelings you have and don't be afraid to do so; don't avoid them. Feel compassion and be careful.
- Share your moments of vulnerability with your partner and let her offer you support.
Step 3. Accept love in its mutability
If you are concerned that the physical attraction and strong feelings of love you felt at the beginning of your relationship are waning, remember that love can come in waves. In some moments you will feel crazy in love for a person, in others you will be less in love. Just because you are at one of the lowest points in your relationship, your feelings won't stay that way forever. Life is made up of cycles and it is normal for love to have ups and downs as well.
Many factors can cause peaks of happiness and difficult times in a love story, such as old age, or the birth of children. You can overcome all of these things
Step 4. Be willing to receive love
You don't have to be in control of love in your relationship; let your partner express love for you. Receiving affection can make you feel vulnerable, because it means not being in control. Be willing to receive gifts, accept compliments and nice gestures. You may feel indebted to your partner, but don't think about it and just enjoy the experience of receiving something. Love does not foresee debts and can only grow thanks to gestures of affection.
Step 5. Tap your partner
You don't need to do it in a sensual way, but giving yourself a long, loving hug or shaking your partner's hand are ways to stay connected. Express your love for your partner by initiating and maintaining physical contact. Affection is one of the ways to express your appreciation for a person, your desire to take care of them, and many other positive emotions that can create a bond.
Affection is one of the ways to make your partner feel loved and to experience the feeling of giving love
Step 6. Express gratitude for your partner
In some cases we may have problems communicating with our other half, but gratitude is always understood and accepted. Affirm your appreciation for your partner by expressing your gratitude. Thank her for showing her that you recognize the commitment she puts into the relationship. Express your appreciation for the things he does and the qualities he possesses.
Step 7. Be a partner in life too
One of the reasons to go through life with the one you love is to overcome challenges together. Work to find solutions, solve problems, and comfort each other when the situation is difficult. We cannot solve everything by ourselves and we cannot know everything there is to know… but a couple united by love can overcome any problem.
Part 3 of 3: Love Despite Differences
Step 1. Don't expect perfection in the person you love or in yourself
This would lead you to have completely unrealistic expectations. Neither of you would be able to meet your standards and both of you would end up hurting and disappointed. Be more understanding with yourself and your other half - accept mistakes as part of life.
Step 2. Learn from your experiences and apply the lessons learned to your relationship
Negative moments in relationships often happen: you will say the wrong thing or your partner will hurt your feelings… it can happen. The most important thing, when something doesn't go your way (even if it comes to problems in your life), is to learn your lesson and move on. Try to make the most of all negative situations, turning them into something positive and growing from your experiences. Always try to understand your partner's point of view in any quarrel that becomes serious.
If you made a mistake, apologize and take responsibility for your actions. In happier relationships, people hold no grudges and clear up all misunderstandings right away
Step 3. Reconcile your differences
It's really hard to love someone when you feel a lot of anger towards them. Whether you and your partner have a tendency to warm up or avoid arguments, these character traits don't limit your happiness. The most important aspect is knowing how to find harmony after quarrels.
Remember that there is always a chance to make peace. Whether you are in the habit of yelling at each other or sitting at a table to compromise before getting too hot, almost all types of conflict leave the way open for some form of reconciliation. Whatever way you argue, make sure you both have a chance to voice your opinion and come to an agreement in the end
Step 4. Find the balance between the positive and negative feelings you have for each other
This balance is very important in creating a happy and loving relationship. Research shows that the perfect ratio of positive and negative interactions in relationships is five to one. When you realize that you have treated your partner negatively, do some nice gestures for her to restore the desired balance.
