Everyone wants to be happy. Although everyone has their own way of defining success or evaluating well-being, a happy life is characterized by some fundamental aspects, which seem valid for everyone. According to some studies, regardless of our origins, happiness depends on the extent to which we are able to live consciously as adults more than on the financial situation or childhood we had. By learning to live better and adopting a more positive attitude towards the world around you, you can be happy and make sense of your existence.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Living Healthily
Step 1. Control negative thoughts
Anyone can foster a demotivating and counterproductive internal dialogue. While some people find it stimulating, certain studies show that it actually promotes stress, depression, and the inability to cope with adversity. By learning to spot negative thoughts, you can stop them in their tracks and encourage you to develop a more optimistic view of yourself. Some forms of thought distortion include:
- Mental filter: it is a behavioral problem that consists in ignoring or "filtering" all the positive aspects of one's life or of a given situation, seeing only the negative ones. For example, you might neglect all of your professional successes and focus only on the problems you haven't been able to solve.
- Personalization: it is the tendency to take the blame for everything that happens. It also leads to interpreting an opinion linked to contingencies as something to be taken on responsibility for. For example, you learn that your friends have canceled their attendance at a party assuming they have changed their minds because they don't want to see you.
- Catastrophism: It means automatically preparing or expecting the worst possible scenario. For example, you might assume that the rest of the day goes wrong due to a small hitch in the morning.
- Polarized thinking: it induces to see things, people and situations always either black or white, without shades of gray. For example, you may be convinced that you are a bad employee just because you took a day off at work.
Step 2. Try to think positively
It does not mean ignoring events or unpleasant aspects of life. It simply means having a constructive and productive approach to any situation, good or bad. You can practice this approach on a daily basis, in various ways. To start thinking more positively, try:
- Identify the things that lead you to have a negative view and recognize why;
- Evaluate everything you think and feel emotionally during the day;
- Find the funny side in everyday situations and smile or laugh even when you are upset;
- Having a healthy lifestyle;
- Seek the company of positive people (and avoid negative ones as much as possible);
- Be kind to yourself: Avoid mortifying yourself by thinking about things you wouldn't think of anyone else;
- Seeing the glass half full in negative situations;
- Imagine a better future and outline the path to take in order to achieve what you want.
Step 3. Practice mindful meditation
This discipline allows you to gain awareness of the surrounding world, of your behaviors and your feelings in relation to the present. By practicing full awareness, you can reduce stress, manage anxiety and depression, and lift your spirits.
- Focus on your breath. Be aware of what you feel physically when air passes through your nostrils, when you raise and lower your abdomen, and when your legs and feet are in contact with the chair or the floor.
- Engage all the senses. When you eat, stop to observe the food and smell it. Try touching it with your hands to understand its texture on a tactile level. Try to guess the flavors and chew slowly to enjoy the moment.
Step 4. Adopt a healthy diet
Food can have a huge impact on mood. It is not enough to avoid dishes that are bad for your health. You should also get vitamins and nutrients from major food groups and avoid overeating or eating too little.
- Most adults need 175-350g of fruit or pressed fresh fruit per day.
- Adults should consume 275-450g of fresh vegetables per day.
- Choose whole grains instead of refined ones. Adults should eat 170-220g of whole grains per day, depending on age, gender, and level of physical activity.
- Consume several protein sources per day. Generally, adults need 140-180g of lean protein, sourced from fish, chicken, eggs, tofu, beans, nuts, and seeds.
- Choose low-fat or low-fat dairy products, including milk, yogurt, cheese, or soy milk. Usually, adults need three glasses of milk a day.
- Replenish lost fluids. Generally speaking, to live in a temperate climate, men should drink 3 liters of water per day, while women should drink 2.2 liters. However, if you live in a warm environment or have a fairly active lifestyle (especially if you exercise regularly), you should increase your water intake by taking into account the water you lose by sweating.
Step 5. Manage your stress
You can't avoid the most unnerving situations, but you can find a way to relieve the stress that comes with it. Try relaxation techniques, such as meditation, visualization, tai chi, yoga, and deep breathing.
- Practice deep breathing by inhaling and exhaling with the diaphragm (located under the rib cage) rather than breathing shallowly, from the chest. Follow a particular rhythm, for example by counting to 5 as you slowly inhale, holding your breath again to 5 and exhaling slowly for another 5 seconds.
- Practice meditation by sitting comfortably and removing all distractions. Breathe deeply and try to focus only on the air flowing in and out of your body. Let go of the thoughts that run through your mind without making judgments or getting involved.
- Use the visualization to calm down and get back in a good mood. Combine deep breathing with a calm image, such as a relaxing place or situation.
Step 6. Adopt a healthy lifestyle
In addition to following a healthy diet, you should live by keeping yourself healthy and moving. How you treat your body during childhood and adolescence can have a huge impact on your health in adulthood.
- Train regularly. Experts recommend doing at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity or 75 minutes vigorously each week. Try to build up your muscles (using dumbbells or weight lifting tools) at least twice a week to make your workout complete.
- Avoid smoking or quit if you are already a smoker. Try using replacement treatments, such as gum or nicotine patches, and consider attending a support group or asking friends and family for help.
- Protect yourself during sexual intercourse by always using condoms and establishing an exclusive monogamous relationship.
Part 2 of 4: Finding a Purpose in Life
Step 1. Establish your personal values
Since everyone has their own principles, which ones do you value most? Don't think about the material aspects. Instead, focus on the things that you think give meaning and purpose to your life. Typically, the principles that characterize people's existence include:
- Faith;
- Family;
- Friendship and interpersonal relationships;
- Understanding;
- Merit;
- Generosity and help from others.
Step 2. Find a challenging job
Personal growth allows you to give meaning and purpose to your life. One of the best ways to achieve this is to practice a profession that pushes you to mature and evolve on a personal level.
- Discover your passions. You could start by examining your values. If you value understanding and generosity a lot, it may be rewarding to have a job that places you in the service of others.
- Get out of your comfort zone. Doing your job well doesn't mean it's fulfilling. So, try to follow your passion - for example for volunteering - and if you like it, find a way to turn it into a full-time business.
- A rewarding career will most likely offer you numerous opportunities to feel more satisfied than someone who is rich. Of course, economic stability is a fundamental factor, but it is more important to have a purpose in life than to surround yourself with riches that give no meaning to one's existence.
Step 3. Consider nurturing your spiritual side
For some people, spirituality is synonymous with faith, but in reality it goes beyond the simple concept of rules around which a cult is organized. It is possible to live in a spiritual way without ever considering yourself believers, even if some believe that religion is the main road that allows you to nourish your own spirituality.
- Reflect on yourself every day. Learn to control and take responsibility for everything you think, say and do.
- Find a way to be more understanding of others. Try to help those in need, regardless of the circumstances.
- Maintain a positive and confident attitude, even in the most stressful and painful situations.
- Establish a relationship with nature. The natural world can instill tranquility. Many people find it brings a sense of spiritual joy. Try walking in the woods or contemplating the landscape whenever you are outdoors. You can also bring nature indoors by growing a garden or a few flowers outside on the balcony.
Step 4. Connect with the community you live in
Membership in a group is important for mental well-being. It can also offer meaning and purpose in life. Often, even the most introverted individuals feel gratified at the thought of being part of a large community.
- Find a group to share a cause that you care about.
- Try volunteering with like-minded people to pursue a cause with.
- Join a reading group. You will be able to interact with individuals who share your same interests and, at the same time, create bonds starting from the analysis of literary works.
Part 3 of 4: Coping with Life's Difficulties
Step 1. Handle problems
At first glance, it is easier to avoid challenges than to face them head on. However, in the long run this attitude only tends to aggravate the situation, with the risk of developing a sense of helplessness. The best way to deal with adversity is to recognize and cope with it.
- Don't run away in the face of difficulties. Deal with them as they arise and study the situation carefully.
- Think about all the problems you have solved in the past. Without a doubt, you came out with greater satisfaction and self-confidence. Don't forget this and find courage when life confronts you with new and greater obstacles.
Step 2. Be satisfied with what you have
One of the best ways to be happy with your life (no matter how hard it is) is to accept reality as it is. As much as you may wish for a more favorable evolution of situations (capable of bringing you more money, a safer job or even better health), dwelling on what you lack, you will not make your life easier.
- Remember that difficulties make you appreciate the best moments.
- Accepting reality is the only way to truly appreciate everything around you. Be grateful for the people in your life, despite the adversity of the moment.
- Realize that everyone is forced to fight sooner or later. No path in life is without difficulties, but we can give meaning to ours, grasping the moments of joy, if we have courage and awareness of what is happening around us.
Step 3. Try to see problems as opportunities
We are not always inclined to see the positive side in unfavorable and adverse situations, but in reality, they are opportunities that we can seize to mature, discover new perspectives and even find a purpose in life.
- It is not easy to consider problems as an opportunity for growth, but with experience and a strong commitment you will see that obstacles will help you improve.
- Never forget the value of life. Just because you are having a hard time (because you have lost your job or a loved one has passed away) or you are physically ill (due to an illness or amputation of a limb), it doesn't mean that it no longer makes sense to live.
- Use problems to motivate yourself to move forward. A serious medical condition may offer you the opportunity to join others to raise awareness of this condition or even work to find a cure.
- Keep in mind that even if a problem doesn't go away, addressing problems and learning from them will allow you to grow personally and develop more self-confidence.
Part 4 of 4: Be a More Loving and Caring Person
Step 1. Be grateful
There is no shortage of reasons to be grateful in life, but in the daily hustle and bustle we forget them easily. If you take the time to express your gratitude, you will feel better and can make sense of your existence.
- Write a letter to someone who deserves your esteem (such as your parents, friend, or partner) telling them why you appreciate them. Thank her for everything she has done for you and let her know that you care about your friendship.
- Keep a gratitude journal. Of course you can remember the most important events, but also write down the small details by taking your diary with you. Maybe a glass of warm milk at your favorite cafe was what you needed to feel better on a dreary, rainy day. Often, it's the little things that enrich our everyday life.
- Take your time to dwell on the most pleasant aspects and places. Stop whatever you are doing and watch the sunset or slow down as you walk through the park to enjoy the colors of the leaves on the trees.
- Tell the good news and the happiest moments to the people in your life. According to some studies, having someone you love participate in a happy event can increase the joy and encourage the other person to share what you are feeling.
Step 2. Take a constructive approach
It is not easy to listen to the opinions of others about our behaviors, but by learning to identify and put into practice a more constructive vision, you will be able to hone your skills and improve your life.
- Keep in mind that criticism can be constructive and destructive. For example, if someone blames you for making too many mistakes and being boring when presenting a project, there is nothing constructive about this judgment. This is a negative comment that offers no opportunity for improvement in the future.
- However, if a classmate tells you they enjoyed your presentation, even if they missed some passages because you spoke quickly, here's a constructive criticism. You've received a compliment and can use the other information to improve the next time you need to speak in public.
- If you receive a criticism that upsets you, take some time to think instead of reacting impulsively. Go for a walk, call a friend, or get distracted in some other way. Wait until, once you are calm, you are able to reflect on the opinion expressed about yourself and use it to improve.>
Step 3. Be indulgent with yourself and others
Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to offer to those who hurt us. And it is even more difficult to forgive ourselves when we are wrong. However, anger, resentment, and even guilt can impair self-esteem, mental well-being, and interpersonal relationships.
- We all make mistakes that we often learn from. This ability makes us stronger and more alert.
- Forgiving someone does not necessarily mean forgetting the offenses received or prostrating us at the feet of others to the point of being trampled on. It simply means giving (everyone and even yourself) a chance to make mistakes by hoping to learn something from mistakes and letting go of anger and resentment.
- It is often easier to forgive others than to forgive yourself. Don't judge yourself more severely than you judge others. Think that you are trying your best and learn from your mistakes.
Step 4. Be understanding
This attitude will help you be a better friend, a more caring person, and a happier individual. In fact, research shows that understanding and love for others can also offer a broader view of how people live and think.
- Look for yourself in others and try to see others in yourself. In fact, your experiences aren't that different from theirs, and everyone craves happiness, health, and love.
- Be warm, cheerful, and loving with everyone around you.
- Be smiling. A smile could give someone the right boost to get through a difficult time.
- Each has its own obstacles to overcome. We are in continuous apprenticeship, so it is natural to make mistakes every now and then.
- Express your appreciation not only when someone has a nice gesture towards you. Learn to appreciate the patience, love, and effort of the people around you, including those who work with you or for you.
Advice
- Living a happy life is not easy because it can take a lot of effort and mindfulness. In any case, it's worth it.
- Try to build your happiness from day to day. Over time it will become a habit and it will get easier and easier.
- Be grateful and grateful to everyone. Appreciate beautiful things and kind people, and always remember that life can be wonderful with the right attitude and support.
