Homophobia involves discrimination, fear and hatred of homosexuals. Among the many forms it takes, it can emerge through violent behavior, feelings of hatred or gestures of fear and manifest itself both in individuals and in groups of people, creating rather hostile environments. Fortunately, you can choose not to give in to this fear. It will probably take some time to change your view of reality and it will almost certainly not be an easy task. However, you don't miss the chance to become a more open person and make the world you live in a happier and safer place.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Reflect on Your Beliefs
Step 1. Write down how you feel
If you have made the decision to overcome your aversion to homosexuals, surely you have already noticed that certain feelings or behaviors are a problem for you and others. So, write down everything that triggers your homophobic reactions. For instance:
- I feel uncomfortable and nervous when I see a gay couple kissing.
- I think my sister's attraction to other women is inadequate.
- I find it unnatural for two men to love each other.
Step 2. Learn about your feelings
Once you have written down all the sensations that trigger homophobic reactions, you need to analyze why you feel them. This is a vital step if you want to start changing. Start asking yourself:
- "Why do I feel anger in situation [x]? Who or what affects this feeling? Is there a reason why I feel this way?"
- "Is it normal to have these feelings? What can I do to stop feeling this way?".
- "Can I talk to someone about how I feel to understand why?".
Step 3. Identify your beliefs
Often, our beliefs stem from the influence of our parents or our points of reference. When you reflect on how you feel emotionally, consider where your homophobia originated. Ask yourself:
- "My parents are homophobic and did their views influence the way I see things?".
- "Is there anyone in my life who has instilled these negative feelings in me?"
- "Did my education, religion or cultural background help fuel them? Why?".
Part 2 of 4: Consider Your Habits
Step 1. List bad habits
Once you have analyzed your feelings and the reasons why they arose, make a list of the wrong behaviors you intend to change. You will likely be ashamed of how you have acted in the past, but in order to move forward it is always best to be honest with yourself. Try to list what the consequences of your actions are. Be as specific as possible:
- "I have a bad habit of using the word 'gay' in a derogatory sense to describe things. I think it can be offensive to people who call themselves homosexuals."
- "I made fun of [x] in high school calling him gay. I probably hurt his feelings."
- "I was cruel to my sister when she told her family that she was homosexual. I ruined an important relationship in my life because of my homophobia."
Step 2. List everything you want to change
Again try to be as precise as possible. Once you've identified the bad habits and negative feelings, it's time to consider the positives. List what goals you intend to achieve. For instance:
- "I want to stop using the word" gay "in a derogatory sense."
- "I want to apologize to the people I made fun of."
- "I want to recover the relationship with my sister and apologize to her."
Step 3. Keep in mind that changes take time
You should recognize that breaking bad habits to acquire new and better ones will cost you time. Experts suggest that it takes about a month to develop a new habit. Sure you'll make mistakes and fall back into some bad behavior, but the secret is to keep going and keep trying.
Part 3 of 4: Commit to Change
Step 1. Take a stand against homophobia
You have probably heard, or even used, the term "gay" in a derogatory sense. It is offensive to members of the LGBT community. When you hear people denigrate homosexuals, make them realize how wrong they are, for example by saying:
- "Do you know what the sentence you just said means?".
- "Why do you use these words?".
- "Don't you think that by speaking in this way you can mortify others?".
Step 2. Respond to homophobic comments
Unfortunately, homophobic insults are commonplace, especially in schools and universities. When you hear an insult or comment against homosexuals, be sure to respond in a rational and respectful way. If you are witnessing a speech steeped in prejudice and fanaticism, such as: "Gays go against God's plan" or "All gays are pedophiles", adopt some of the following techniques to deal with the situation correctly:
- Be pragmatic. If there is some emotion in your voice, it is easier for others not to take you seriously. Present the facts and stay calm so your message gets across.
- Explain why what has been said is disrespectful. Sometimes, people talk without realizing that the words make sense. Explain why a sentence you heard was hateful and perhaps the author will realize his mistake.
- State that there is nothing wrong with being gay or lesbian. With this positive attitude you will show your support for others.
Step 3. Defend others
Bullying is a serious problem. If you see or hear hateful insults, speeches, or gestures against someone (gay or straight!), Defend the victim by offering your full support. Speak confidently:
- "I absolutely do not agree with what you are saying about [x]. It is very mortifying!".
- "Why do you talk and act like this? How would you feel if it were done to you?"
- "I don't think we can be friends at all if you keep expressing yourself in this way."
Step 4. Learn from the injustices of the past
Around the world, 76 countries have currently adopted laws against gay or lesbian relations. The LGBT community has been a victim of hatred and discrimination throughout history. Take the time to delve into these facts in order to understand all the difficulties and prevarications that these people are forced to face.
- In practice, every historical period has been the scene of homophobic demonstrations. For example, during World War II, Nazi Germany deported homosexuals to concentration camps. By deepening the study of these events, you will be able to put aside your hatred and perhaps you will learn to be more tolerant.
- To learn about the story, you can watch documentaries, listen to podcasts, read books, and use the Internet.
Part 4 of 4: Pushing Yourself Beyond Your Limits
Step 1. Talk to a gay person
Once you start feeling more comfortable with what you are feeling, it's time to take another step towards change. Try talking to a gay person. Be respectful and kind, and don't ask direct questions about their sexuality.
- You just need to have a normal conversation and try to keep a certain open mind towards your interlocutor.
- Try asking trivial questions, like: "What do you do in life?", "What kind of movies do you like to see?" or "What's your favorite restaurant?".
Step 2. Attend a meeting in defense of the LGBT community
It is difficult to put yourself in others' shoes and understand how they are being mistreated.
- To open your mind, try attending a gay rights advocacy meeting, rally, seminar, or conference focusing on these issues. Again, you need to show respect to others, regardless of your point of view.
- To find out where these kinds of meetings take place, take a look at the flyers posted on the bulletin boards of the nearest universities. Typically, university faculties are attended by various types of people and often host meetings, conferences and seminars.
Step 3. Make new friends
Once you begin to broaden your mental horizons and have acquired better habits, try making new friends within the gay community. Talk to people who share your interests and hobbies, and be yourself!
